one thing the poster should never forget;

YOU BROUGHT HER HERE! make her understand you can EASILY SEND HER ASS BACK!

Get a lawyer to put together some fancy write up! threaten her with all sorts of legal action, get your account back and divorce her scheiving ungrateful backside!

uplawal:

Better he be,but he sound real and not teasing though,but still,like i said,most women are so traditional in uk particularly the muslm women,they dont live western livestyle,but more of homemakers,though there are some name spoiling ones too that smoke igbo,cigarette and consume Alcohol eventhough they are highly skilled such as IT,MEDICAL ETC,or any good job,they still do some miserable act that you begin to wonder,why?but these people still fall on the few group

you are right though about muslim nigerian women in london. they are very responsible and traditional. now me personally ? i dont like traditional women. nothing enticing and appealing about a traditional woman. its like trying to sleep with your mother. i prefer the responsible but non-traditional types. it makes me feel uncomfortable when someone is making me food while i sit down like a king waiting for the food to come. i seriously do not know how chauvinistic nigerian men do it. i am not in this world to be served. i want to serve.

queensmith:

one thing the poster should never forget;

YOU BROUGHT HER HERE! make her understand you can EASILY SEND HER backside BACK!

Get a lawyer to put together some fancy write up! threaten her with all sorts of legal action, get your account back and divorce her scheiving ungrateful backside!

she already has her papers

buzugee:

she already has her papers

It doesnt matter! esp if they bended laws to get it for her, they can have it revoked! even if they cant he can at least get power over his account back!

queensmith:

It doesnt matter! esp if they bended laws to get it for her, they can have it revoked! even if they cant he can at least get power over his account back!

Is that what all this is to you: a crude power struggle. Well there is not a cat in hell's chance that they would revoke her papers. What is done is done moreso as the woman already has kids here. You don't even know how she came about the papers in the first place.
As for the account all he needs to do is to get something tangible doing so he can open a new account in his own name.

uplawal:

Maybe not in Us,but here in UK most Nigerian wives still live the traditional lifestyle despite thier 9to5,they still obey thier hubbys

That's a load of nonsense really as it all depends on her profession if she has one and whether she is the main breadwinner. In any case there is nothing too traditional about the wife being the main breadwinner.
Very very few immigrant women are housewives as they need the income to pay the never ending bills. This means working multiple jobs and multiple shifts.

Becomrichn:

This is with marriage falls into the same issue, there is something wrong with living in the west for black people. It hard to say it, and everybody is running away from saying it. But the truth most be said. The system does not treat them fairly. One face of obama , another of oprah is not a true reflection of what black people face out here. This faces are just for television camera to see compare to the pain black people face in the west.

When someone look at you and call monkey to your face in this day and time. It tell you what is in thier heart toward employment and others.
The issue why people going home , please just go on all dating website, 100% of the india women have turn thier setting option on to " NO black man should send them messages" ,same goes for the chinesse, the samething goes for some white women. You just have very few white women open to the fact of interracial dating. You cant be talking about you want to marry someone from a society that have thier setting option as" No Black should send me message".

Its really none of your busines who people choose to date. Anyway Indians and Chinese if they date at all prefer to date within their own culture which is only natural.
Are Nigerians that strong on interracial marriage by the way? No except you count the arrangee marriages for papers.

tensor777:

Is that what all this is to you: a crude power struggle. Well there is not a cat in hells chance that they would revoke her papers. What is done is done moreso as the woman already has kids here. You don't even know how she came about the papers in the first place
As for the account all he needs to do is to get something tangible doing so he can open a new account in his own name.

One should learn to bark when dealing with dogs, the whole issue dies down to being a power struggle, in this instance the husband needs to get his balls back!
The kids have a father, if they tried illegal means to get her papers theyll have her ass in prison and deported before she could finish pronouncing her surname! esp if she got citizenship!
Opening another account isnt going to get him his money back!

marabout:

Actually training your wife and then disappearing later is not unique to imported broads.
I know of a businessman in naija who trained his wife at uni after having 4 kids or so. She left him after becoming a pofessional. The good man was suddenly not good/educated enough for her. She gave no reason at all, no quarrel, nothing.
Despite entreaties by her friends and family she left. Although she came back to beg after many years to come back, the man refused. That happened in the 90s in naija.

Well she has not actually left him. In fact its the other way around as the man himself wants to desert. That does not mean that sending her for retraining is not a good thing. In fact it is VERY NECESSARY to send an imported bride for such training so that she is not stuck doing cleaning jobs here and there.
However the man himself should also  UPGRADE HIMSELF at the same time if he wants to be a true partner to his wife

queensmith:

One should learn to bark when dealing with dogs, the whole issue dies down to being a power struggle, in this instance the husband needs to get his balls back!
The kids have a father, if they tried illegal means to get her papers theyll have her backside in prison and deported before she could finish pronouncing her surname! esp if she got citizenship!
Opening another account isnt going to get him his money back!

Well he does need to be VERY VERY CAREFUL as he is currently still subject to immigration control. Again where there are kids involved the Home Office would always consider their interest first. They certainly will not be deported and  their mum would have to stay with them.
The man really is in no position to be carrying out threats.

queensmith:

Opening another account isnt going to get him his money back!

That is if he is currently earning any separate income in the first place. Of course as a citizen with 2 kids, the woman is entitled to child  tax credit.
That is not for him to use to feed any habits he may have. For that he just needs to get something tangible doing

Becomrichn:

This is with marriage falls into the same issue, there is something wrong with living in the west for black people. It hard to say it, and everybody is running away from saying it. But the truth most be said. The system does not treat them fairly. One face of obama , another of oprah is not a true reflection of what black people face out here. This faces are just for television camera to see compare to the pain black people face in the west.

100% spot on - nigerians in nigeria who watch mtv, bet and cnn think that this is the true face of the western world - its just a fantasy world that the west presents to keep foreigners hung up on the lie that the western world is the land where your dreams can come true - its all bullsh,it.

When someone look at you and call monkey to your face in this day and time. It tell you what is in thier heart toward employment and others.

thank you very much bros - but our people do not like to hear the truth - they will instead defend these type of behaviour and tell you that we are the problem.

The issue why people going home , please just go on all dating website, 100% of the india women have turn thier setting option on to " NO black man should send them messages" ,same goes for the chinesse, the samething goes for some white women. You just have very few white women open to the fact of  interracial dating. You cant be talking about you want to marry someone from a society that have thier setting option as" No Black should send me message".
This is one of the reason. People are allowed to block who send them messages.
If you look at this. Now imagine if this same people are going to be your employers. Do you think, you are going to get a job.? NO.

I agree  - infact they did a survey on how race determines how many responses you get on dating websites - the overwhelming conclusion was that black men were the least likely men to be responded to by white, asian and hispanic women, black women were said to be the most likely race to respond to black men's ads.  I dont know how reliable this survey is but i suppose it could be used as a starting point.

http://abagond./2009/10/13/okcupid-and-race-and-dating/

Now let look at if the problem is with the black man or with the system.

Now in the case of nigerian men, who the west as classified as irresponsible. 90% of them are success story in Nigeria. Nigeria has about 20 billionaires about 14 of them were classified by the west as irresponsible , reject.no good, , backside hole, .  They could not get a job in the west, even when they wanted to start a business, they either was hunted down by police who were working for rival or phone tap to make them fail, so that they could send them to prison, like the rest black men. or call you terrorist.

Again spot on - when i tell people that there is a deliberate agenda by the west to keep blacks down people say im crazy.  Even though african americans make up only 13% of the population they are over represented in the prison system and this is despite the fact that white americans are more in number and statistically commit more crimes than blacks!

Let look at them , his name his mike adenuga , he is richer that I am proud to boost than any black man, i repent than any black man AMERICA have ever produced die or alive. Can i repent this words again, than any black man america have ever produced die or alive.  nigeria has 10 times rich black men than america.

Jimoh Ibrahim, he own several plane and hotel chain, including gas stations.

Jim Ovia, he own one of africa largest banks in several african countries.  
This people and many more were classified as irresponsible , reject.no good, , backside hole. They are success story , we all see, it tell you, there is nothing wrong with black people. But the truth is , there is something wrong with the system in the west the way, people treat black people. And this is why black family marriages fail.

The pressures of institutionalised racism conspire to fragment and destroy black families and communities in the western world.
In addition the system has been set up to ensure that the opportunities open to whites remain almost beyond the reach of blacks, im not saying you can not succeed, im saying that as a black person you will have to put in 10 times the effort a white person puts in - this can place even the best relationships under severe strain - if a husband is finding it hard to get a job because of institutionalised racism and the wife is the sole  breadwinner this inevitably is going to lead to problems within the household - we have to accept the damage that institutionalised racism has caused to the black family unit in the western world.

You can imagine Uche Okafor killing himself , just because he live here. You need to know this person call Uche Okafor. Nobody would believe he could do that, we are talking of someone who already made million in dollars. And he came over here,  most likely he treated like trash  or half human by everybody just because he was black. He most likely could not take the harassment anymore and took his own life.

Yes, I can beleive it - black men here in the UK are stereotyped as being violent and dangerous, have higher rates of compulsory admission to psychiatric hospitals, are more likely to be treated with drugs rather than counselling and in addition british born black men are more likely to be diagnosed with schizophrenia than whites.

look i once remember going with a nigerian at the immigration entrance , i was shock to see him pull down his underwear even before the immigration officer ask him for a check and he ask the officer to check his anus to see, if he had drugs inside. because he has so much face so much harassement.

And that why most people that write about nigeria issue are nigerian abroad. And they are ready to pay anything, to stop the nonsense going on in nigeria.

You got that right - those of us who have lived in the belly of the beast all these years know where the shoe pinches.  We really dont want to be here and wish we could do something to bring the madness that is going on back home to a stop.

The issue is not with black people, but the issue is how to change the altitude of people over here to like black people.

It will never happen because the whites have a vested interest in keeping things the way they are namely - financial advantage in terms of housing, jobs and education.

look, if you doubt me. Go to any dating website and pretend you are a black man and see if you would get a response from 10,000 women who are not black, you would be lucky to get 10 reply, and now imagine if those people are  going to employ you.

I have come to the conclusion that a successful, educated white woman or other non black woman is more likely to marry a man of her own race, if at all she opts for a black man it is usually because he is finanncially successful or because her options with men of her own race have been greatly reduced for whatever reason.

And that is the altitude that need to change in the west.  until this mind set change, it is hard to make progress in the west.

The truth is the new nigeria women dont know this is the society that have come into they assume it is still like nigeria, it is different.

with time it all becomes clear to all nigerians living in the west -  men  and women - the lesson to learn from all of this is that we (black men and women) should stop fighting each other and learn to be there for each other as we are fighting an enemy  that is greater than we ever imagined.

A lot of people here are just misyarning. The issue  here is not about status, tradition, culture, the West, and what have you. It is simply about MONEY. In fact that is the main cause of marital turbulence[b] in Nigeria[/b]. Maybe that is why most women here are keeping silent as they too would not want to stay with a jobless husband except in cases of true love.
It is all well and good claiming the man of the house but should he not as wisdom dictates tone down the rhetoric as far as he is jobless and financially dependent on the wife.
Bottomline is that respect in the home has to be earned by our actions and is rarely given as a matter of course.

cap28:

I agree - infact they did a survey on how race determines how many responses you get on dating websites - the overwhelming conclusion was that black men were the least likely men to be responded to by white, asian and hispanic women, black women were said to be the most likely race to respond to black men's ads. I dont know how reliable this survey is but i suppose it could be used as a starting point.
.

Well I don't see a problem in that. It is only natural to date and consider relationships with people that look like you and share the same culture and interests.
They are simply interested in long-term relationships as opposed to one-night stands.
How many old inter racial couples do you see on the streets anyway?

cap28:

100% spot on - nigerians in nigeria who watch mtv, bet and cnn think that this is the true face of the western world - its just a fantasy world that the west presents to keep foreigners hung up on the lie that the western world is the land where your dreams can come true - its all bullsh,it.

thank you very much bros - but our people do not like to hear the truth - they will instead defend these type of behaviour and tell you that we are the problem.


I agree  - infact they did a survey on how race determines how many responses you get on dating websites - the overwhelming conclusion was that black men were the least likely men to be responded to by white, asian and hispanic women, black women were said to be the most likely race to respond to black men's ads.  I dont know how reliable this survey is but i suppose it could be used as a starting point.

http://abagond./2009/10/13/okcupid-and-race-and-dating/

Again spot on - when i tell people that there is a deliberate agenda by the west to keep blacks down people say im crazy.  Even though african americans make up only 13% of the population they are over represented in the prison system and this is despite the fact that white americans are more in number and statistically commit more crimes than blacks!

The pressures of institutionalised racism conspire to fragment and destroy black families and communities in the western world.
In addition the system has been set up to ensure that the opportunities open to whites remain almost beyond the reach of blacks, im not saying you can not succeed, im saying that as a black person you will have to put in 10 times the effort a white person puts in - this can place even the best relationships under severe strain - if a husband is finding it hard to get a job because of institutionalised racism and the wife is the sole  breadwinner this inevitably is going to lead to problems within the household - we have to accept the damage that institutionalised racism has caused to the black family unit in the western world.


Yes, I can beleive it - black men here in the UK are stereotyped as being violent and dangerous, have higher rates of compulsory admission to psychiatric hospitals, are more likely to be treated with drugs rather than counselling and in addition british born black men are more likely to be diagnosed with schizophrenia than whites.

You got that right - those of us who have lived in the belly of the beast all these years know where the shoe pinches.  We really dont want to be here and wish we could do something to bring the madness that is going on back home to a stop.


It will never happen because the whites have a vested interest in keeping things the way they are namely - financial advantage in terms of housing, jobs and education.

I have come to the conclusion that a successful, educated white woman or other non black woman is more likely to marry a man of her own race, if at all she opts for a black man it is usually because he is finanncially successful or because her options with men of her own race have been greatly reduced for whatever reason.

with time it all becomes clear to all nigerians living in the west -  men  and women - the lesson to learn from all of this is that we (black men and women) should stop fighting each other and learn to be there for each other as we are fighting an enemy  that is greater than we ever imagined.  

where you been hidin at chief ? whats good ?

buzugee:

where you been hidin at chief ? whats good ?

yo my man - how you doing? ive just been kicking back and reading all of your comments, sometimes i just prefer to flit in and out, you get me (as the black brits say).

tensor777:

Well I don't see a problem in that. It is only natural to date and consider relationships with people that look like you and share the same culture and interests.
They are simply interested in long-term relationships as opposed to one-night stands.
How many old inter racial couples do you see on the streets anyway?

You are right, most people will naturally gravitate towards people who look like them and share cultural similiarites and interests however the survey also demonstrated that white men received the most replies from WOMEN OF ALL RACES, therefore the question to ask is why is it that white men are considered to be good partner/marriage material over men of other races and in particular over black men by WOMEN OF ALL RACES?

To be honest i dont see that many elderly inter racial couples on the street but there could be a number of reasons for that namely that interracial dating and marriage has only recently become acceptable in western society, i know that here in the UK interracial marriage was severely frowned upon right up until the late 80s (despite the passing of anti discrimination legislation in the 60s) and in america bans on interracial marriage were still practised in some states (virginia) right up until 1967.

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage. Oops

cap28:

yo my man - how you doing? ive just been kicking back and reading all of your comments, sometimes i just prefer to flit in and out, you get me (as the black brits say).

i get you bruv hope you had a cool weekend.

cap28:

You are right, most people will naturally gravitate towards people who look like them and share cultural similiarites and interests however the survey also demonstrated that white men received the most replies from WOMEN OF ALL RACES, therefore[b] the question to ask is why is it that white men are considered to be good partner/marriage material over men of other races and in particular over black men by WOMEN OF ALL RACES?[/b]

To be honest i dont see that many elderly inter racial couples on the street but there could be a number of reasons for that namely that interracial dating and marriage has only recently become acceptable in western society, i know that here in the UK interracial marriage was severely frowned upon right up until the late 80s (despite the passing of anti discrimination legislation in the 60s) and in america bans on interracial marriage were still practised in some states (virginia) right up until 1967.

i wouldn't pay those kind of surveys any mind. those surveys are done by white men. tis another tool to propagate their 'pseudo-desirability' and superiority. white people love blowing smoke up each others butt. to be honest with you, on the street level, black men are more desired than white men. but in magazines published by white men, white men are supposedly more desirable.

roymary:

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage. Oops

you have a strong distaste for women

//

You are right, most people will naturally gravitate towards people who look like them and share cultural similiarites and interests however the survey also demonstrated that white men received the most replies from WOMEN OF ALL RACES, therefore the question to ask is why is it that white men are considered to be good partner/marriage material over men of other races and in particular over black men by WOMEN OF ALL RACES?

is this a rhetorical question? isn't the answer obvious that whites have the highest status in society and are the most populous. people interact with whites more than other races beside theirs. so it makes sense that they will be seen as potential partners if there is a comfort level.
women aren't silly if that's what you are asking.  to me, I think media has over exaggerated the attractiveness of black male. they are more like sexual objects or exotic attraction compared to white males.
and on the other hand, even males will pick white women over other races besides theirs. at least that's what I think.
it just makes sense considering the population distribution and hierarchy of races in US society.

buzugee:

i wouldn't pay those kind of surveys any mind. those surveys are done by white men. tis another tool to propagate their 'pseudo-desirability' and superiority. white people love blowing smoke up each others butt. to be honest with you, on the street level, black men are more desired than white men. but in magazines published by white men, white men are supposedly more desirable. 

you mean in bars and night clubs?  lol joking.

Pls lets focus on the main point of this thread which is why marriages don't last abroad. It has nothing to do with race, colour etc as some people are turning it into.
1. As a matter of fact many white people don't even get married thesedays or if they do it doesn't last, even among themselves.

2. On the issue of inter-racial marriage, lets be objective here, a lot of black people, especially africans doesn't like getting married to white people as well and the ones that do especially the immigrants do so to get their papers, some do because of the belive that white women are more 'sexually active and proactive' over the years a lot of europeans ladies has been used, hurt and dumped as soon as some of our black brothers get their papers! therefore we black people sometimes should share part of the blames as well.

3. Still on the issue of inter-racial marriage, naturally human beings get attracted more to people of the same colour, tradition, faith, educational level etc as them.
A lot of nigerians family will never support their child getting married to a foreigner be it white, or even other africans. My friend's mum started crying when my friend told her he's expecting a baby with his white girlfriend and that they will be getting married shortly, racism? or what do u call that? even my own mum will always say pls for God sake do not marry a white lady.

4. On the issue of police or immigration harrasement, i have seen various things nigerians do in uk here that one will be ashamed of, like driving without license, infact 80% of nigerians drive in uk here drive without proper license, if the police then stops them the next thing is to shout racism, what about frauds, the list is endless, we should also take some responsibilities here and try to obey the law more, this society is not the lawless society we are coming from.


5.INSTEAD OF CRYING THAT THE WHITE PEOPLE SHOULD LIKE US, WE SHOULD START LOVING OURSELVES FIRST, LET THERE BE LOVE BETWEEN HAUSA, IBO, YORUBA AND OTHER TRIBES. EVEN THE LEVEL OF TRIBALISM PEOPLE PUT IN THEIR COMMENTS ON NAIRALAND IS SOMETIMES SHOCKING.
GOD HAS GIVEN US ALL WE NEED IN OUR COUNTRY THAT WE SHOULD NOT EVEN BE THINKING OF RUNNING TO A FOREIGN LAND IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.
IF WE LOVE OURSELVES ENOUGH IN OUR COUNTRY AND WE ARE DOING THE RIGHT THINGS FOR EACH OTHER, THEN WE MIGHT NOT EVEN NEED TO BE WORRIED WHETHER THE WHITE MAN LIKES US OR NOT.

6. FINALLY LET US DEAL WITH THE TRIBALISM ISSUE AMONG OURSELVES FIRST BEFORE WE START ACCUSING OTHER RACES OF RACISM!

chaircover:

I haven't read all the posts so apologies if this question has been answered already & sorry for derailing a little but why do some men feel the need to go back to their village to marry a virtual stranger?
There are just general sweeping statements but I am assuming that the reason they do this is because they want a girl who is pure and hasn't been corrupted by the west. But these girls who have allegedly been corrupted by the west were once pure girls before they traveled?
So what do they think will happen when they bring their pure village girl to the west and let her out into the world? Won't she pick up some of the traits too?
I think men should question themselves on the real motives on why they go back home to select a wife. I may be wrong, but to me its a little bit about control. You want someone to look up to you, someone who will be eternally grateful for showing her the light and so on.
That may work if the girl never reads any newspapers, watches any TV, doesn't have any friends and stays home 24/7. If you send her out to work, then it is almost impossible for her not to mix with the "bad girls" that you are running away from.

Good points and yes your contribution has been long overdue.

pray is said to be the key, so u have to be prayerful,

for yr wife to change or come her sense.

buzugee:

you are right though about muslim nigerian women in london. they are very responsible and traditional. now me personally ? i dont like traditional women. nothing enticing and appealing about a traditional woman. its like trying to sleep with your mother. i prefer the responsible but non-traditional types. it makes me feel uncomfortable when someone is making me food while i sit down like a king waiting for the food to come. i seriously do not know how chauvinistic nigerian men do it. i am not in this world to be served. i want to serve.

Marry me!

chiogo:

Marry me!

not before he marries me!!!!

queensmith:

not before he marries me!!!!

Umm, he clearly said he doesn't like traditional women so you're out of the question.

tensor777:

Well he does need to be VERY VERY CAREFUL as he is currently still subject to immigration control. Again where there are kids involved the Home Office would always consider their interest first. They certainly will not be deported and  their mum would have to stay with them.
The man really is in no position to be carrying out threats.

your right i didnt read the whole story, I took it from the title that he brought his wife here after living here himself. I didnt know he was illegal too!

@topic
Trust your wife can take care of your kids, dont because of them allow the woman to ride you like an idiot! Once you have sorted out your papers get a divorce and move on. Maybe your wife will appreciate you then!

chiogo:

Umm, he clearly said he doesn't like traditional women so you're out of the question.

You know me ayettymama is NOT traditional! lol

Heartless women like that needs to be married to muslim men,its just 3 pronouncement after everyother thing dnt work,no need of getting in court to file divorce,and the man would marry someone better than her in all ways.