You are not alone in your plight. I lived for four and half years with my wife in Nigeria before coming to UK. We came for no other reason than for the fact that we could not have children back in Nigeria. It happened that just after five months of our marriage, I took her to UK for a holiday and she became pregnant. However as soon as we arrived back to Nigeria she lost the pregnancy. After waiting for four years and doing all the necessary tests, which confirmed that there was no serious problem with any of us, still my wife could not conceive. So I decided that God must have shown me the sign that I should have my children in UK and not Nigeria. When I had my leave, which was for 6 weeks, I decided to take my wife to UK again for holidays and also to see if she could get pregnant again as before. And to our greatest surprise it happened again just after three weeks of our stay in UK without having to see a doctor for any treatment. So I decided that UK is my promised land and we should remain there.

During our stay in Nigeria before living for UK, I earned more than ten times my wife. My wife’s salary could not pay for the flat we lived in let alone running other family expenses. She did not have a good job but I had a great job that catered for both of us. In fact I could work for an entire year without having to withdraw any money from my salary as I got more than twice my salary coming in every month by way of allowances for out of station assignments. I drove a good car and lived in a comfortable flat. I provided everything my wife wanted and even did not buy much for myself. I looked after my wife as if she was a queen. I was the person who fought for my entire family to become citizens in UK; she did not contribute anything towards that. I went through every immigration hurdle until we all got our residency and then citizenship. But all of that is music to my wife’s ears now. This is a woman who came to me with rags and I transformed her within the first one year of our marriage. I bought all her wears and shoes from UK and really did not bother much about myself. She has been the cause of every quarrel and misunderstanding we have ever had since our marriage. Even when I asked her often to tell me one occasion that I had offended her, she had not been able to mention one singe occasion when I ever started any trouble.

The real problem started after my wife completed her training as a nurse and started earning some big money mainly from overtime work and working during unsociable hours. We had always kept our money together and ran our accounts as joint accounts. My wife decided to run her own personal account where all her salary is paid into. She then decides how much out of her salary she pays into our joint account. She stopped listening to whatever I say but instead listened to her colleagues at work and friends. When I confronted her about her change in attitude, she told me that “the character a woman shows when she was coming into a marriage is not what she shows afterwards”. She has turned all our children against me and dictates to the children whatever she likes even when I am opposed to her directives. However our children are grown up with some of them already in universities.

On one occasion I went to Nigeria and reported her bad behaviours to her mother and before I returned back to UK she went and reported me to the police. I asked her why she reported me to police and she said that she consulted her brothers in Nigeria and they advised her to report me to police before I returned to UK fearing there could be violence when I returned to UK. I went to the police in UK with my wife and asked the police to show me the statement my wife made against me. But the police said that for confidentiality purposes, they were not allowed to tell me about my wife’s report against me. So I decided to make my own report there against her there and then. Nowadays we hardly talk to each other and I am making every effort to re-establish myself in Nigeria and only visit UK when necessary. Our women do not know how to repay us for our kindness and goodness towards them. Instead they see us as ladder to climb to greater heights.

Sorry to say this but she never realy loved you, I'm so scared of women, with all she has done she can even sleep outside.

My advise for you is that since all the children are all martured let them understand the problems and bear it in mind that you don't have wife, then you have to be very carefull because she can kill you after sometimes then what is the contribution of your own family? do not relocate to Nigeria because another problems may arise remember how the first pregnate was terminated. Try to relocate to somewhere in U.K since you are already a citicen or try USA leave her alone God will surely repaid her evil did, whenever you are feeling boering find a pretty babe and have fun, eat correct food and serve your creator, try to be doing good to all the  face you come across,  that is all about life  believe me you will see that she is going to regret at the end of the day, then remember most of the girls in Nigeria are gold diggers DO NOT RELOCATE TO NIGER


''Life is a berief stop for a little fun on our way to somewhere else, the number of people you help will spread your good name more than yourself'' 

I am very grateful for all your suggestions and advice. If I relocate to Nigeria, I intend to do that alone. I am not going with my children or my wife. I intend to go there and start a new life. As for my children, they have all been brain-washed by my wife and she has turned them against me. I have been making lots of investments in Nigeria because that is where I was born and brought up before coming to UK. I just need to do a couple of things to provide me with my daily bread in Nigeria and I will be done with UK. However I would still need to visit UK for business, medical treatment and to see my children.

She took advantage of the opportunities Nigerian women do not have in Nigeria. It sad that she had to get that freedom outside of her HOME COUNTRY.

21st century women; they are interested in flexing & enjoyment.
My friend nothing u can do to her;

because most women will do worse; let me tell u some thing:-

WHAT IS KEEPING MOST MARRIED WOMEN (I didnt say all) IN THEIR HUSBAND`S HOUSE IS because THEY ARE NOT
FULL FINANCIALLY EMPOWERED YET; WHEN THEY ARE; men; THEN YOU TRULY KNW THE KIND OF
WOMAN YOU MARRIED.

there`s one that works in the same office with me; hers; na only God can tell,

so relax;

I think you are very right about what you said.

This is a serious case of biting the hand that fed you. That's why some men marry women who are crazy about them, not the other way round.

Thanks Ragdollz. As an undergraduate in Nigeria, I even had girls (from wealthy families) who promised me some their father's wealth including at least a building and a car but I did not accept their offers. I obeyed my parents who insisted that I must marry a girl from my LGA.

it's a pity u had 2 go thru al dat. One tin i'l nt do hia is judge or condemn ur wife cos ur story is one-sided.my advic dou is dat jst as u folowd ur instinct in relocatng 2 uk,u shld also do so nw u wnt 2 cum bak.dnt run away cos of ha,if d place is ok 4 u,den mayb u cn mov out BUT nt b4 hvng a hart 2 hart tlk wit ur wife 2 c if u cn salvage ur family.u 2 shld try counselng,xplor al odds b4 takng dat separatn rd. Bliv it or nt it's nt easy 2 wrk out of a hme u built 4 yrs.IF UR LIFE IS IN DANGER THEN U'LL VE 2 LEAVE ASAP.

Hi take my words in as much that d rain wil keep dropin so ur blessing are 4 d children if dy r truely d same God who answer's ur prayers wil bring em 2 u al u need do now is dont panic pray, ,, >

Thanks Paulsan for your Godly advise.

It's seven years later. What is the update? I know you've settled back home in Nigeria but did your wife return or you married another?

Your story is touching, I will like to know the updates as well...How are your kids now, are they still very into their mum?

meobizy:
It's seven years later. What is the update? I know you've settled back home in Nigeria but did your wife return or you married another?

My mum can never brain wash me bcus know most women character