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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Spanking And Very Nice Jokes (8817 Views)
Six Nice Jokes To Spice Up Your Wednesday Afternoon / Nice Jokes. To Be Always Updated 13+ / Nice Jokes (2) (3) (4)
Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by yinkalink(f): 2:24pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, “I’ve kidnapped you.” She then wrote a big note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde.” The blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?” A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again. She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: “You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box.” The blonde answered, “No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail.” After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. “Louise, ” he moaned, “Tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think? ” “Even worse, ” she assured him in her most scornful tone. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face. ” “He ‘s an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him! ” “You did. All over his suit, ” Louise informed him. “And he fired you. ” ” Well, screw him, ” said John. “I did, said Louise, “You ‘re back at work on Monday. “ IF MEN MADE THE RULES; they would say: 1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. 2. If you don ‘t want to dress like Victoria ‘s Secret, girls, don ‘t expect us to act like soap opera guys. 3. If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad orangry, we meant the other way. 4. It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together. 5. Let us ogle. If we don ‘t look at other women how can we know how pretty you are? 6. Don ‘t rub the lamp if you don ‘t want the genie to come out. 7. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done – not both. 8. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 9. Christopher Columbus didn ‘t need directions and neither do we. 10. Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. 11. When we ‘re turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying “This is our exit ” is not necessary. 12. Don ‘t fake it. We ‘d rather be ineffective than deceived. |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by StudioCFR(m): 2:29pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
Make i no lie Dis joke no funny at all No Ofience |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by yinkalink(f): 2:48pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
Studio CFR:stud, we both know i dont post jokes 4 people like you. so, i dont expect u to understand 'em |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by EfemenaXY: 3:01pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
Girl!! Great set of jokes - love 'em all 'tis a nice, new and fresh start to the New Year Keep 'em rolling pls |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by yinkalink(f): 3:21pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
ok, i will here's more There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, “It’s blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!” The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walked into a room to meet with his accountant.The Godfather asked the accountant, “Where”s the three million bucks you embezzled from me?” The accountant didn”t answer.The Godfather asked again, “Where”s the three million bucks you embezzled from me?” The attorney interrupted, “Sir, the man is a deaf-mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you.” The Godfather said, “Well, ask him where the @#!* money is.” The attorney, using sign language, asked the accountant where the three million dollars was. The accountant signed back, “I don”t know what you”re talking about.” The attorney interpreted to the Godfather, “He doesn”t know what you”re talking about.” The Godfather pulled out a pistol, put it to the temple of the accountant, cocked the trigger and said, “Ask him again where the @#!* money is!” The attorney signed to the accountant, “He wants to know where it is!” The accountant signed back, “Okay! Okay! The money”s hidden in a suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!” The Godfather asked, “Well, what did he say?”The attorney interpreted to the Godfather, “He said that you don”t have the guts to pull the trigger.” “How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question.” hope u'll lyk 'em |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by NnamdiN: 4:31pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
@Efemena_xy are real life blondes really stup id? They r always portrayed as being so in jokes. I guess u know y m asking u @yinka nice jokes u got ere and pls, u don't have to reply everybody, ok Some can read bt can't understand. U get me |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by EfemenaXY: 4:39pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
^^ dunno but you can try asking your girlfriend afterall, she's very blonde and extremely stup!id |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by StudioCFR(m): 4:47pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
Yinkalink Reading your jokes is like reading a text book Boring! |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by NnamdiN: 5:09pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
Efemena_xy:u misunderstood me, I'm not asking bcoz I fink u r a blonde rather bcoz ur location says u r in london. Jeez |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by EfemenaXY: 5:18pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
NnamdiN: So why would I know why you're asking me? That question of yours is open to different interpretations |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by ARareGem(f): 6:16pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
"The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walked into a room to meet with his accountant.The Godfather asked the accountant, “Where”s the three million bucks you embezzled from me?” The accountant didn”t answer.The Godfather asked again, “Where”s the three million bucks you embezzled from me?” The attorney interrupted, “Sir, the man is a deaf-mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you.” The Godfather said, “Well, ask him where the @#!* money is.” The attorney, using sign language, asked the accountant where the three million dollars was. The accountant signed back, “I don”t know what you”re talking about.” The attorney interpreted to the Godfather, “He doesn”t know what you”re talking about.” The Godfather pulled out a pistol, put it to the temple of the accountant, cocked the trigger and said, “Ask him again where the @#!* money is!” The attorney signed to the accountant, “He wants to know where it is!” The accountant signed back, “Okay! Okay! The money”s hidden in a suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!” The Godfather asked, “Well, what did he say?”The attorney interpreted to the Godfather, “He said that you don”t have the guts to pull the trigger.” “How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question.” hope u'll lyk 'em [quote][/quote] Yinka, this is funny But seriously, are blondes really stupid? |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by EfemenaXY: 7:28pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
^^ No, they're not. |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by NnamdiN: 7:38pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
^^ Maybe I should have been as plain as aRAREgEM. But u dey vex o |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by EfemenaXY: 8:10pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
Yeah maybe you should have been much plainer and no, I nor dey vex - only if I see say person wan take the mickey outta me no hard feelings sha okay? |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by NnamdiN: 10:39pm On Jan 09, 2011 |
^^ Aight |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by shakara4u(m): 11:36am On Jan 10, 2011 |
That question of yours is open to different interpretations hehehehehehehehehehehheehhee,i dun interprete my own since,b4 i c the later, @yinka, nice jokes, na so i go d follow u up n down these days |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by Nobody: 12:00pm On Jan 10, 2011 |
@yinka, this is about the funniest sets of jokes i have seen in a long time, about blonds,if they are really that dumb is it the reason men go after them so much or is there something else they offer that redheads,black heads,dyed onse cant! |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by allabosky(m): 8:32pm On Jan 11, 2011 |
una dey joke,, hiss, am outa here. |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by ElementG(m): 8:45pm On Jan 11, 2011 |
Efemena_xy: Efe, y u force urself laugh untop d jokes. I know say u don hear am before but just because she be ur babes, u sha wan cut d girl some slack, no wahalas sha, i respect ya concern |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by ARareGem(f): 8:52pm On Jan 11, 2011 |
NnamdiN: Guy, y u just slaughter my name like that na |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by StudioCFR(m): 9:16pm On Jan 11, 2011 |
to AreAgEm The name alone na joke Mtchew |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by BossTtdiamonds(m): 11:17pm On Jan 11, 2011 |
Studio. . . . . I second that. . . . . . |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by NnamdiN: 6:09am On Jan 12, 2011 |
ARareGem:I'm artistic |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by StudioCFR(m): 6:46am On Jan 12, 2011 |
Dey make yourself happy o U hear? |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by shakara4u(m): 1:40pm On Jan 12, 2011 |
mstweeeeeeeeee derailers again |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by lwise(m): 2:22pm On Jan 12, 2011 |
@ poster, The article is like one of my Geography lecture in my secondary school days. This one na copy and paste article no vex ooo where ar u from? |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by BossTtdiamonds(m): 2:42pm On Jan 12, 2011 |
See jamb question. . . . . *hisses in japanese* tsweeeew chung chin mschweeeeee wing. . . . |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by ARareGem(f): 8:28pm On Jan 12, 2011 |
Studio CFR: Please Studio, just pack ya face go enter gutter. I can see you are jealous of the name, but continue being jealous because it can never be yours. Mtcheeeeeeeew. |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by ARareGem(f): 8:35pm On Jan 12, 2011 |
Boss Ttdiamonds: Why wouldn't you second that before? Birds of a feather. Rabbish NnamdiN: As for you, artistic my foot. You call that art? No wonder you're a starving artist. |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by eldav(m): 8:49pm On Jan 12, 2011 |
rotflmcao darn! |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by NnamdiN: 9:19pm On Jan 12, 2011 |
ARareGem:if "starving" means being able to take care of ALL UR BILLZ,(including underwear billz) den I claim it IJN. As 4 questioning my artistic nature, send me d last p a n t I bot u on nw yr's eve, I'll change it to a G string(I guess that's art) |
Re: Spanking And Very Nice Jokes by tanimz(f): 10:04pm On Jan 12, 2011 |
Yinkalink, why your jokes always dey long? |
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