Don't know why I haven't been coming to this thread. You've really cracked me up.

^^ seconded

I think it's jokes like these that can re-vitalize the jokes section from the influx of the talentless jokers here. . .

girl, shebi you go nominate Sledge? Seeing as Dani don conceed to 2 nominations per voter. . .

mikuz:

^ on point sweetheart

abi?

Oya come nominate Sledge then - I think in all fairness, he deserves to win jor

hehehe
efe and what do i get in return?
Eh?

See my people o.
Abeg make una continue to dey enjoy and laugh away the harmattan for una faces but nor crack una dried cheeks sha

Charmer:::: Hello Sweet Girl

Sweetgal:::: Hi Lover Boy!

Charmer:::: Can I know you more please?

Sweetgal:::: 17, female, sweet lips, bo[b]ot[/b]ylicious and Delicious, in Port Harcourt and you?

Charmer:::: Mmmmmh, I am in love already. I’m 52, male, 6 pack, big Chest, Port Harcourt.

Sweetgal:::: You're 52? OMG! Serious . Same age as my dad.

Charmer:::: I’m just so into fresh young beautiful girls.

Sweetgal:::: Do you have a wife?

Charmer:::: Yes, but not as sexy as you, I have a daughter, she is in her bedroom with her friend doing homework.

Sweetgal:::: Then why do you like young girls?

Charmer:::: I love them because they are beautiful not to mention sexy and with fresh b[b]oo[/b]bs and b[b]oo[/b]ty

Sweetgal:::: I am also into older men with iPhones, ipads, cash and driving expensive cars.

Charmer:::: I can offer all of that and even more.

Sweetgal:::: I think we should meet because you are in Port harcourt and I am also here.

Charmer:::: That would be nice, where do I pick you up tomorrow with my new G-guard sexy girl?

Sweetgal:::: Tomorrow I am going to school it won’t be possible.

Charmer:::: Or maybe over the weekend, going to school is very important.

Sweetgal:::: While still chatting let me continue with my homework I don’t want my dad to know that i have a BB, he will be mad at me.

Charmer:::: Which homework is that? maybe I can assist you.

Sweetgal:::: It's a Biology assignment and my friend Lucy is assisting me

Charmer:::: Hey, your friend’s name is Lucy?

Sweetgal:::: Yes.

Charmer:::: Exactly where in Port Harcourt are you?

Sweetgal:::: Woji and you?

Charmer:::: Mercy!!! is that you

Sweetgal:::: Dad, is that you

hehe,
sledge,the second best poster for year!!

Cool joke!

mikuz:

hehehe
efe and what do i get in return?
Eh?

Hard cold £££ cash - the militant way

@Jackpot, I nor get your time. Try learning from the experts

expert my arse~

@Efe
who told you expertise is by compiling random jokes from different sites?

What makes you a star is d kind of funny comments you drop in different threads in real time and your creativity. Gerrit?

Shyt, i'm tired of educating you. When will you ever pass this your primary 6?

A little girl asked her dad. " How did the human race appear?"
The Dad answered, "Our lovely God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made, "

Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered, "Many years ago there were Apes, Gorillas and monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her father and said, dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and mom said they developed from monkeys?"

The father answered, "Well, Dear, its very simple. I told you about my own family background and your mother told you about hers.

Efemena_xy:

^^ seconded

I think it's jokes like these that can re-vitalize the jokes section from the influx of the talentless jokers here. . .

girl, shebi you go nominate Sledge? Seeing as Dani don conceed to 2 nominations per voter. . .

A'ight, will do.

efe,
its either ya yim or nothing.
Deal?
@jack
check ya ymail.

^^ first nominate sledge - then we go discuss other matters. Otherwise, no deal.

ARareGem:

A'ight, will do.

Sister, you get better taste

efe,
ya not a good champaigne manager!

Nene places an advert in a Newspaper 4 a life
partner: I need a person who will never leave me,
never beat me, and can satisfy me on bed. Next day
a guy called Sule with no arms and legs knocked at
her door. Nene: Who are you? Sule: I want to be ur
husband. Nene: You are not fit for that. Sule: I don't
have arms, so I can' t beat you. I don't have legs, so I
can'tleave you. Nene: How can u satisfy me on bed?
Sule: what did u think I used in knocking at your
door?, .

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* His last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* At the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* Liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* Marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* Exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand,

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand,what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Concrete floors are very hard to crack

Did he really deserve 0% after all?

Lol.

Okigwe is the second largest city in Imo state of Nigeria. The city lies between the Port Harcourt-Enugu-Maiduguri rail line.Thus has grown into a major cattle transit town for the southeast and south subregions. Okigwe has a population of 535,765 (2005 est.). Most of the population is made up of immigrant workers from other states. Okigwe city was the primary host site of the old Imo State University (now Abia State University). Okigwe has various tourist and historical sites. The Federal Government College in the city have remained one of the best unity schools in Nigeria. Okigwe remains one of the bread baskets of Nigeria with terrace cultivation practised on its hilly farmlands. Okigwe also boasts of a good relaxation spot in imo state which is situated at umuchima ubahu okigwe. St. Mary’s Cathedral in Okigwe is the seat of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Okigwe.

^^
muah!!
Thanks for that!

It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade class.
The teacher said: "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. 'Who said: 'Give me Liberty or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki's. "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.
"Very good! Who said: ', government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth'?" Again, no response, except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped: "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs." "Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki raised his hand: "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point a student said: "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked: "All right! Who said that?" Suzuki says: "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Furious, another student yells: "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Suzuki jumps up waving his hand and shouts: "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
At this, the teacher fainted. The class gathered around her. One of the kids says: "Oh s**t, we're in BIG trouble!" Suzuki says: "Arthur Andersen, 2002."

‎2 shediots standing at the museum, looking at an EGYPTIAN mummy with '1227 BC' written below it.

1^st Girl: What does that mean?!

2^nd Girl: It must be his BB pin.

^^
that was from jack!

An eldery patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After short time, he meets the doctor again. Doctor: "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased." Patient: "Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven't told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I've changed my will three times!"

lmao!!

A young doctor had moved out to a small rural community to replace the retiring country doctor. The older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his house calls so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that doesn't do the trick?"

As they left, the younger doctor said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How did you arrive at your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half-dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick."

"Huh!," the younger doctor exclaimed, "pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she
once did.
"I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

The younger doctor says "You've probably been doing too much work for the church, Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."

As they left, the elder doc said, "Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it so fast?"

"Well, just as you did at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed." lol

TEACHER: Atongo, who is the President of IRAQ?

ATONGO: Madam I don't know oh.

TEACHER: You silly boy, concentrate on your studies!

ATONGO: Yes Madam, but please, do you also know Rita?

TEACHER: No I don't.

ATONGO: You too, concentrate on your HUSBAND.

BF: Hey sweety, what you doing?

GF: Nutin really. Just tired about to sleep. You?

BF: I'm at the CLUB standing behind YOU.

[s]O boi ah dun laff for die [/s]

what an interesting trend. kudos 2 sledge

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