Source: http://www.myweku.com/2011/01/why-can%e2%80%99t-i-recall-my-first-kiss/

Do you remember your first kiss? This question if directed to some of my rather macho male friends will probably make them blush. For once I may actually just witness an African going bright red. At the very least I’d expect some quizzical looks from them. Perhaps there may be a gender bias to all this. After all as Remy de Gourmont once said, Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last. People obviously find the need to immortalise the first kiss. These poignant words by Helen Rowland give some credence to this point – A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth – and endures all the rest.

Apparently 90% of cultures kiss to show affection. Dare I say, that the 10% who do not partake could quite possibly all hail from my country and No, I’m not identifying that country.

I’d be a church mouse or is it a pauper by now if I got a penny anytime I saw a couple kiss in my country. Perhaps they kept it indoors or they did it in lightning quick time that my naked unaided eyes could never capture.

I therefore, naturally had to rack my brains when I first came across the question posed above. Do I remember my first kiss? Well, should I remember my first kiss? Is it such a big deal? I wouldn’t necessarily give such questions too much thought had it not been for a study I read about that prompted me to embark on some soul searching.

According to the study, a Psychologist, John Bohannon of Butler University USA carried out research that surveyed 500 people to compare their recollections of a variety of significant life experiences – such as a first kiss and the loss of virginity – to find out what made the most dramatic impression. A first kiss apparently trumped everything: It was the most vivid memory in the minds of those being surveyed. Bohannon reported that most people could recall up to 90 percent of the details of the moment – where they were, who made the first move – no matter how long ago the exchange took place.

Most people could recall up to 90% of the details? Clearly I knew instantly that I had to try harder to remember mine and to somehow justify my inclusion in the “most” people category. Besides it’s only fair to the girl that I do or is it? Who knows? It probably was a horrifying experience for her. Anyway, I decided to go ahead regardless.

It took a while to get myself into a state where I could really get those “memory recollection” juices flowing. With the aid of a shot of whisky and forcing myself to listen to classical jazz (I was told it helps in meditation) I started recalling “moments”. They were all rather jumbled to begin with. I concentrated a bit more, took another shot of whisky and shut my eyes and thought about various phases or stages of my life – college, erm no I had broken my duck before I got there or so I thought! Try as hard as I might, I just could not go beyond college.

This was getting rather serious so I put the whisky aside and quickly put the kettle on for a shot of caffeine instead. That was less likely to wreak havoc with the part of my brain that occasionally got paranoid. Well it worked! Something sobered me up pretty quickly! I still can’t work out if it was the coffee or the memory that kept coming up. It was memory that had to be subdued at all cost, deep in my subcounscious. I began to feel that perhaps I should have just accepted my fate as a lone ranger and not gone digging to try to be part of the herd.

Anyway, I kept digging some more hoping against hope that there was a kissing experience there, somewhere, anywhere that superseded the one I kept recalling. To make things worse the details had become so vivid that I felt it happened 24 hours ago.

Then I suddenly sprang up! The size of her! Was this not the same sumo wrestler that my friends and I had laughed at in the way that only older teenagers could? Did she not have that voice? The one that sounded like a thousand screeching cars coupled with nails being scratched on the black board? OK so I was tipsy and I recall it was right at the end of our college Christmas ball – but still surely it didn’t happen and why can’t I recall any other kiss before that kiss? The taste of OMO – gosh it all kept coming back!

I don’t think this was my first ever kiss or may be I’m still in denial, but I honestly cannot recall any others before that. It was memorable alright but not in the way I thought it will be before I embarked on this journey. It certainly, I have come to realise no where near as important as other moments in my love life.

For me what I do recall and what I think about often was a non-kissing moment I had when I was 10. This encounter involved a girl whose name (including her middle name) I still remember. I never really spoke to this girl and she certainly never spoke to me. I think her feelings towards me were “clouded” by my constant pinching of her - well it was a daily ritual – why did I keep doing that? I made her cry a couple of times and still could not stop pinching her!

The moment happened on a trip to the museum (the only trip I ever went on if I remember correctly). It was a science museum so perhaps seeing one too many human skeletons and talks about anatomy did help soften my target.

It had rained that day. The ground was wet and of course every one was minding the wet ground. For some inexplicable reason my unplanned moment came just before she had to hurdle a puddle. Being the pinching and stalking “player” that I was, I managed to get over my nerves to ask her if I could help her hurdle the puddle. That was my moment. I can’t really recall if she said yes or no, but all I remember was holding her hand (I’m sure it lasted for a second but it felt like an eternity) to help my angel conquer the puddle.

The moment I had with her lasted for less than a second or two but “something” coursed through my veins that I could never forget and have never experienced since. From that day onwards, I stopped pinching her and reduced myself to a staring stalker with mouth always invariably agape!

As John Bohannon’s study reveals “A first kiss trumped everything: It was the most vivid memory in the minds of those being surveyed”. As the saying goes – A kiss (not neccessarily a first) is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. I have no doubt that for some people this is often the case but, really can every one really recollect thier first kiss and more importantly was it it really that much of a memorable moment?

cant make head or tail of your write up but this part might be true:

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth – and endures all the rest.

@topic
cos it wz all illusion