So I met my childhood friend yesterday at lekki.
He is still the elegant young man he has always been.

We spoke at length.
Nothing much has changed about him.
He is still very enthusiastic about life. An Engineer who after working with a firm is now on his own. Things are not very rosy but he can still hold his own.

We started talking about family since we all are married abielt for few years.

Here is the gist.....

He is contemplating having a girlfriend.
His wife hardly have sex with him.
Sometimes it takes 2 months for them to make love once. Nothing appears to be the problem other than the wife complaints of tiredness and not being in the mood for almost every time.
They have two kids(twins).

He had come to tell me to either approve or disapprove his strong intention of keeping a lady by the side since he can afford it comfortably.
I felt for him.

I disuaded him though I know how it feels to stay without sex with your wife under the same roof for months.

You pay all the bills yet you don't eat from the goody bag to your test.

Since yesterday, I have been a little worried for him. I do not know whether to call him and advise him to go ahead with his plan but try and be careful.

It's a dicey situation especially when the wife is not ready to change.

Sex is a natural phenomenon put in place by the CREATOR not only for procreation but also pleasure.

Every living thing have this natural urge to "do that thing" so it is very important in life.
The denial of this natural condition is a SIN against nature and the CREATOR. A woman who denies her husband of that is not only wicked but a MURDERER.

Tell your friend to communicate more with his wife, make her to come out of her rock shell and be flexible. Spend time outside home like a holiday resort on weekends,barbecues etc.
If all these things doesn't work then the man should go ahead and find himself a booty that can do the job at will because NYASH PLENTY EVERYWHERE YOU GO LIKE MTN.


Meanwhile, we the members of vaseline crew of Nigeria (VCN) can never have this kind of problem.

Its not ur duty to advise him on such act. Let him decide on his own, ur duty is to make sure he doesn't get caught when summoned.

Advice him to divorce his wife.. Marriage is not by force. I don't know why young men of nowadays dey fvck up anyhow.
Get married to someone else and enjoy your life...

Married couple staying together under same roof and not having regular sex life will bring in infidelity both ways.

Communication is the very key to keep your marriage on top notch....

He needs to Man up and be in charge via communication.

If ur tale is true, its duty of mother-inlaw and not you sir.


Do not let anybody labels you as the man who destroys his beautiful marriage in future, nowadays I hardly give advice for people. When your advise goes right people will not remember to give you kudos, but if advise goes south, they would hold you responsible for their woes.

Tunjingwu:
So I met my childhood friend yesterday at lekki.
He is still the elegant young man he has always been.
We spoke at length.
Nothing much has changed about him.
He is still very enthusiastic about life.
An Engineer who after working with a firm,is now on his own.
Things are not very rosy but he can still hold his own.
We started talking about family since we all are married abielt for few years.
Here is the gist.....
He is contemplating having a girlfriend.
His wife hardly have sex with him.
Sometimes it takes 2 months for them to make love once.
Nothing appears to be the problem other than the wife complaints of tiredness and not being in the mood for almost every time.
They have two kids(twins).
He had come to tell me to either approve or disapprove his strong intention of keeping a lady by the side since he can afford it comfortably.
I felt for him.
I disuaded him though I know how it feels to stay without sex with your wife under the same roof for months.
You pay all the bills yet you don't eat from the goody bag to your test.
Since yesterday,I have been a little worried for him.
I do not know whether to call him and advise him to go ahead with his plan but try and be careful.
It's a dicey situation especially when the wife is not ready to change.

There must be a pending issue that has affected their sex and love life

If he feels that the wife is just punishing him for no fault of him, let him go ahead but bear in mind that he may end up having another family with her

Every one deserves a better life and happiness

[s]

Righteousness89:
Two Wrongs do not make a Right!

When there is an issue in the Home, you look for Solutions not for More issues and Problems...

When you have tried all you can and it didn't bring Solution, you try to Reach out to Carefully to Matured and Experienced and Godly People around you. It could be Godly Counsellors, or Someone you know she listens to..

Many things Today, Creep into Homes in Different Names, Forms and Sizes. Some are physical, some are Spirtual! All it seeks for is to Destroy Homes..

So, Advice your Friend not to use His hands to Set His Home Ablaze...

[/s]
I can't find any sense in this though...
Always spamming every thread with nonsense.

Learn to accept that the world doesn't resolve around you and your beliefs only.

Your friend should talk to his wife about his feelings, if nothing changed he needs to look for other means of making himself happy.

No man should compromise his happiness for a woman.

No two ways about it, extra Marital affairs will surely end up in tears. Advise him against it.

Have he tried communicating his needs with her?
On the other side..The more comfortable you make a woman the less oblige she feels to give you sex..
Shake her a little..

WinLABSstores:
[s][/s]
I can't find any sense in this though...

Well, I may not always agree with the chap you quoted, but I have seen many homes broken because guy decided to 'get a side chick'(including one time when I had to do counsellor to man fighting with side chick upgraded to wife, after chasing away wife who had given him son for the side chick).

The fact is, you yourself would never forgive any one of your parents for sleeping around.

If the guy who feels pressured for sex sleeps around now, his children would eventually curse him, even if his wife tries to make them believe their dad is really a good guy. Children do not like it when their mother is betrayed.

Righteousness89:


Sir/Ma, I have Carefully noticed you on this Noble platform. I must say, Your Challenges are Spirtually Modulated and Orchestrated . But in The Name of JESUS, I Break the yoke! I Command Great Deliverance on you in the Name of JESUS..

I am Praying for you! Don't worry, you will be Fine.

Full savagery here.


On the topic, I wish the young man all the best. Short version could be that the wife has lost feelings for him and the occasional s3x is just too fulfil marital obligations.

Two things; have a good talk with her privately and if no go progress is achieved then he should first involve her mom before both parents.

Is he romantic at all? Or is he the type that puts dry dick into dry vj? He should try and find out why his wife does not have feelings for him any more.maybe there is no love lost btw them again but they are forcing the marriage or is she willing to give but always feel tired or pain? He should discuss with her to know why the excuse,if they can meet a gynecologist or is he the hash type that drains the woman's energy and desires with nagging bc he pays all bills.let him find where something got wrong. Trying to get a side chick? Can he put the sweet effort we would put to impress the new chick onto his wife,let him show her love and see if she can wet for him biko.sex is a romance not a war.his wife won't enjoy it if u are not romantic.maybe there are things she desire him to do to her first bf the game.

Women, guard your homes diligently.

mahvellux:
Have he tried communicating his needs with her?
The more comfortable you make a woman the less oblige she feels to give you sex..
Shake her a little..

that's where u lost it.shake her bc she is soup? Na your type dey rape their wife.

Hmmmm....when sex is off the table, the marriage is already one leg out.

Biko stay our of their business. Here is what will happen anyways...

1. He will stay focused at home for another few months until he meets a girl he likes, fall into her cookies jar, stay in there a happy man, come to terms with madam cookie hoarding, dont bother her at all until madam realises that its been 7 months without him pestering and decides to catch him. She catches him and all hell breaks.

2. He stays focused at home until December when he does his yearly reflection and decides he couldn't continue. He starts actively fighting with madam for the lamest reasons. They drag it until next year June before openly deciding that they do not love each other anymore. Everyone either goes their separate ways or they stay indoors as roomies. Poor children!

It is well...why would anyone marry someone that doesn't turn them on like a switch? May God help us.

Tunjingwu:
So I met my childhood friend yesterday at lekki.
He is still the elegant young man he has always been.
We spoke at length.
Nothing much has changed about him.
He is still very enthusiastic about life.
An Engineer who after working with a firm,is now on his own.
Things are not very rosy but he can still hold his own.
We started talking about family since we all are married abielt for few years.
Here is the gist.....
He is contemplating having a girlfriend.
His wife hardly have sex with him.
Sometimes it takes 2 months for them to make love once.
Nothing appears to be the problem other than the wife complaints of tiredness and not being in the mood for almost every time.
They have two kids(twins).
He had come to tell me to either approve or disapprove his strong intention of keeping a lady by the side since he can afford it comfortably.
I felt for him.
I disuaded him though I know how it feels to stay without sex with your wife under the same roof for months.
You pay all the bills yet you don't eat from the goody bag to your test.
Since yesterday,I have been a little worried for him.
I do not know whether to call him and advise him to go ahead with his plan but try and be careful.
It's a dicey situation especially when the wife is not ready to change.

Tell him to marry a 2nd wife

Seems his wife's libido is low

Miradamian:
that's where u lost it.shake her bc she is soup? Na your type dey rape their wife.

Quit trying to be funny you know that's not what I mean..

The issue with all this tin is when ur woman/wife knows u dont womanize she will be using her body to make shakara
But if she knows babes dey around u, she will ever joke with sex with u.
Because she knows she has competitors

His sexual needs may be more than the bills he pays.
Does he take care of his woman’s needs?? Is she still working?? Does he spoil her? Is she COMFORTABLE??

You think it’s easy to take care of 2kids and a Bigger Baby! Y’all cut these women some slacks!

You think it’s just to pay bills? In this age, lots of women can conveniently pay bills too...

If you don’t Moisturize a woman’s libido with good money, care and attention...she goes completely dry!

This is why I don’t find marriage interesting..especially in this part of the world.. plenty stress, no benefits no bag!
... all you got is a miserly MRS title that can’t even open doors! Taaaaaaaah! with a mad society expecting so much from you!

Unromantic Nigerian Men! Mtchewwww!!!

Righteousness89:


Sir/Ma, I have Carefully noticed you on this Noble platform. I must say, Your Challenges are Spirtually Modulated and Orchestrated . But in The Name of JESUS, I Break the yoke! I Command Great Deliverance on you in the Name of JESUS..

I am Praying for you! Don't worry, you will be Fine.

Lol!
Noticed?
Everyone on Nairaland knows you're the most annoying and greatest NOTICE-ME.

Sex can get boring in as little as 2 weeks if you do it as a routine. Biko, sex is not a Chore.

Be spontaneous and talk to your spouse about how you feel.

Doing the same thing over and over again WILL soon become a burden.

yettymuse:
His sexual needs may be more than the bills he pays.
Does he take care of his woman’s needs?? Is she still working?? Does he spoil her? Is she COMFORTABLE??

You think it’s easy to take care of 2kids and a Bigger Baby! Y’all cut these women some slacks!

You think it’s just to pay bills? In this age, lots of women can conveniently pay bills too...

If you don’t Moisturize a woman’s libido with good money, care and attention...she goes completely dry!

This is why I don’t find marriage interesting..especially in this part of the world.. plenty stress, no benefits no bag!
... all you got is a miserly MRS title that can’t even open doors! Taaaaaaaah! with a mad society expecting so much from you!

Unromantic Nigerian Men! Mtchewwww!!!

The saddest irony is the romance, care and attention they refuse to give the wife is what they will shower the side chick for her to give them sex. However, they think the wife does not deserve romance, care and attention because they have paid bride price so they expect sex on demand from the wife.

Lol, it's not about paying bills, man's got it wrong.
The only reason your friend's wife can withhold sex without any care in the world is because she knows that it gets to him, it's the power she wields from it that makes her continue to withhold it for as long as she wants.

Some men really need to understand Game Theory, not just in relationships but in every aspect of life. The last thing you ever want to do is give someone the idea that you are a prisoner to what they can offer you.

Some men out there don't pay no bills and are still getting steady sex from their wives.
Some men are the least romantic husbands ever, yet sex is never their problem.
Some are paying all the bills, are very romantic, getting sex from the wife, but still keeping a side chic for the culture.
Then there are some (a category your friend falls under) who are being sex-starved for one reason or the other, but they have mastered game and are not so bothered. They don't even make any moves to try getting sex anymore, could be because they're getting it elsewhere or maybe they're not. The idea is, they just don't give in.

Your friend needs to man up. If he has done all he can and all he keeps getting is the tired excuse, he should step back.
The more he asks for it, the more power she gains and that will solve nothing in the long run.

Nothing musa nor go see for gate

Tunjingwu:
So I met my childhood friend yesterday at lekki.
He is still the elegant young man he has always been.
We spoke at length.
Nothing much has changed about him.
He is still very enthusiastic about life.
An Engineer who after working with a firm,is now on his own.
Things are not very rosy but he can still hold his own.
We started talking about family since we all are married abielt for few years.
Here is the gist.....
He is contemplating having a girlfriend.
His wife hardly have sex with him.
Sometimes it takes 2 months for them to make love once.
Nothing appears to be the problem other than the wife complaints of tiredness and not being in the mood for almost every time.
They have two kids(twins).
He had come to tell me to either approve or disapprove his strong intention of keeping a lady by the side since he can afford it comfortably.
I felt for him.
I disuaded him though I know how it feels to stay without sex with your wife under the same roof for months.
You pay all the bills yet you don't eat from the goody bag to your test.
Since yesterday,I have been a little worried for him.
I do not know whether to call him and advise him to go ahead with his plan but try and be careful.
It's a dicey situation especially when the wife is not ready to change.

How do you know he pays 100% of the bills?
How old are the twins?
What work does the wife do?
Is she a complete housewife? Running chores from morning till night?
Does she have househelp/nanny that handles the twins and helps out with housework?

Until you have accurate responses to the above questions before you can advise him to get a side chic.

HarunaWest:
Advice him to divorce his wife.. Marriage is not by force. I don't know why young men of nowadays dey fvck up anyhow.
Get married to someone else and enjoy your life...

Divorce? Aka running away from the problem? Okay.

Our people say that whoever takes off running before getting his creator's approval will keep on running even after he gets tired.

A word is enough for the wise.