We have been in the relationship for over one year. I stay in Ibadan while he resides in Lagos, so most times we see each other every weekend. Things have been fine and this guy is all that i have dreamt of, my family likes him and his mum likes me, He owns his own firms ,quite rich,God fearing,a leader in church etc. February was supposed to be our introduction but quarrels broke out in December and things are on hold . Its always been about my cooking ability but am working on that,the fact that i dont know anything about sex, and he also think i am rigid. He believes i should work on these and he promised to wait.

Though he has never asked me for sex,recently he is been talking of having pressure to make out, he hasn't been happy,he feels he is losing out in important areas but i had made a vow to God to avoid sex cos am a virgin,he has girls on him and i thinks he may not be able to resist if an opportunity presents itself. My guy used to be randy,he has been there done that as per sex,i fear he may cheat at some point in time, infact he once voiced out that maybe we are not compatible and that we should have gone for different people, i am really confused here and i see him struggling on this too? 

^^^ help a sister in need @ poster, u said u don't know anytin abt sex as such he thinks you are rigid. And yet you claim you are a virgin. I can't marry the two

@Iyatrustee
Yes he believed that even if i couldn't make out nothing stops us from discussing it,he feels it will be one of his major needs after marriage, so he advised me to read punch sexuality articles every Saturday but i didn't really take it serious, u get?

Is he also abstaining along with you then? This is a problem especially since he has had sex before and knows what it is about and by the sound of things, it seems like he still wants more of it. . . . .you on the other hand, are a virgin who is waiting for marriage. . . . . .what are you going to do?

Ok. But the cooking part cannot be overemphasised. U would need to know what hinders you from getting it right. Could it be too much or too little salt,or u are just not getting the rite measurement of the condiments. Maybe u start with recipe books but I must warn that u stick to wat u re used to cookin as this is not the time to try varieties! No man wants a woman dats not versatile in kitchen cos he mgt invite his friends over and the make sarcastic remarks abt his food.

Hey ma'am, any probs

So emoticons have replaced words, I am speechless

I tire for 190 and odunnu

give him pus-sy 4 peace 2 rain, mind u husband dey scarce.

M M M:

give him pus-sy 4 peace 2 rain, mind u husband dey scarce.

This must be hard for you both! my advice: give him what he wants since u two are 2geda,or else u would lose him

lose him jor!

u nor gud o

lol,
u r btw a rock n hard place.

nuthin u can do apart 4rm praying, & improving ur cooking skills,

dont be pressured into sex with him, cos u want to mary him/he wats it.

sex shud be mutual, after _marriage

Omolola1:

u nor gud o

who?mrs guapo. . .

you now. . .

earthrealm:

lol,
u r btw a rock  n hard place.

nuthin u can do apart 4rm praying, & improving your cooking skills,

dont be pressured into sex with him,  cos u want to mary him/he wats  it.

sex  shud  be mutual, after _marriage

Thanks, i believe prayer changes things, the problem is that i think after our quarrels he began to doubt himself and his feelings, we had an argument and i left his house before he returned from work leaving a note for him,that was a dumb move cos i was the one to call and beg later. I hope tings work out well cos i dont want to start my marriage with him cheating on me.

My point; i guess he didn't beliv dat u 're yet a _virgin as u claim, Compel him to go with u for d test if u 're quite sure, and witness end of palava afterwards,
D cookin aspect is something u can work on wit ease if u 're ready to learn. Gud a thing,some men 're gud cooks, and i think u can learn dat from him as time goes on if he knows better.

Ma 2cent!

Virgin this, virgin that, I tire ooh.

My friend, you must learn how to cook, there are no two ways about it. Watch your mom or your sister and then practice by making your own dishes. Sometimes when your man is vexing with you, once you give him good food and good yansh, He will forget that he was even upset sef.

I can't sign away my life without knowing how my partner will perform in bed. Say what you will, but abeg i no fit, sex is way too important to me for that ish.

the problem has nothing to do with you being a virgin but rather you being completely off any sexual approach.
i mean you dont have to have sex but there are many things you guys can do to alleviate the ¨stress¨of not doing the do. i completely understand why he would be tired of someone who doesnt make an effort to meet him half way (he is not forcing you into having sex, just to be open minded about the whole sex thing).

there are many sexy things that can be done by a couple without having sex and where the guy will be fully satisfied. i guess you best be reading that PUNCH mag.

as for the cooking, cant you ask your mum (or whoever) to teach you? you have plenty of time to learn, if you strongly believe in this guy being the right one then you will at least make that effort.

SimiJ:

We have been in the relationship for over one year. I stay in Ibadan while he resides in Lagos, so most times we see each other every weekend. Things have been fine and this guy is all that i have dreamt of, my family likes him and his mum likes me, He owns his own firms ,quite rich,God fearing,a leader in church etc. February was supposed to be our introduction but quarrels broke out in December and things are on hold . Its always been about my cooking ability but am working on that,the fact that i dont know anything about sex, and he also think i am rigid. He believes i should work on these and he promised to wait.

Though he has never asked me for sex,recently he is been talking of having pressure to make out, he hasn't been happy,he feels he is losing out in important areas but i had made a vow to God to avoid sex cos am a virgin,he has girls on him and i thinks he may not be able to resist if an opportunity presents itself. My guy used to be randy,he has been there done that as per sex,i fear he may cheat at some point in time, infact he once voiced out that maybe we are not compatible and that we should have gone for different people, i am really confused here and i see him struggling on this too?

He is a leader in Church and not only is he pre-occupying all your waking thoughts about sex, he is forcing you to have sex before marriage, both sins before God Sorry oh I am new to Christianity, but the Bible I was given clearly states that fornication includes obsessing about sex, abi Okrika people too don dey manufacture Bible ni
And again, you are keeping your body for God, yet your Fiance is feeling he is losing out because of this, Isn't he the one you are reserving your body for Is it not the same God you are serving Or does this Christian religion have more have more God


My two cents - learn to cook asap, and stop dicing with temptation by staying over at his during the weekend (if you are). And IMHO, your problem is greater than learning to cook and sex (which can be learnt), the fact that he said that maybe you are both not compatible and should have gone for different people, should be your major headache for now, sex nor be food or a do or die thing na

What will be will be.

Did you marry this guy?

@ Op,are you desperate to get married...yes the cooking part is an issue you must work on,but plss dnt give in to the sex pressure...u guyz are already on the verge of getting married. You said yourself he has his own firm n hez a lil boxed up,why not he do the right thing if he truly loves you n get married as usual so that he can freely hv sex with you. Rmbr you said hez nt naive in the game...hez been there done that. pls open ur eyes n nt fool urslf into doing what you will later regret. My 2cent tho.

The Op.

Cant cook for sh1ts.
She can't Fvck for Sh1ts
She is Rigid.
She doesn't take the Man serious (plz read the sexuality section).

While other ladies out there are willing to give the Man all these things and more...

The question is...Why will a sane man Subscribe/Like/Follow you and all your excess baggage? What are you even bringing to the drawing board? Noffin! And you still think you deserve the dude...and you think prayer will do the magic with you working on your shallow self..heaven help those who....

The only things you have that is also bullshit is Desperation/selfisahness(you want everything on a platter)

The @Op is just an ignorant rigid spoilt kid hiding behind christainity
Na una type they help increase extra marital affairs for society later you go say all men are the same.