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The spate of marriage failures in the society is increasing by the day.
Nairalanders, what 3 special qualities should one look for in a prospective wife/ husband.

The most important is finding a spouse who is committed to the principles governing the institution of marriage as laid down by the Bible.
Both committed to marriage by biblical standards

1. A man leaving his father and mother and his family and cleaving to his wife

2. A man loving his wife as Christ loves the Church and willing to do all it takes to treat her right.

3.A woman honoring her husband and submitting to him as he submits to Christ,it is easy to submit to a man that you know loves you.

Every other way is trial and error,the chances are 50/50 without a sound biblical base.
This is my opinion and people are free to agree or disagree.

@topic,

Three things are important to me.

1. Spiritual compatibility. It is important that the prospective couple share the same faith or at worst, one party does not object to the faith practiced by the other. It is futile to expect that one party will change the other to his/her religion after marriage. Now, religion means different things to different people so i will stop at that.

2. Mental compatibility. It is important that prospective couple are similarly minded, have mutual likes and dislikes. They also have similar goals, ethics, levels of morality, views on a variety of issues. They don't have to like the same things all the time. Variation is also good from time to time. You don't always have to agree with your partner!! You can agree without being disagreeable. This is probably where education comes in, as it will be easier to discuss and/or challenge issues with someone with a similarly trained mind. Mental compatibility in this context, is more of the state of the mind.

A lot of people skip/ignore this step. You can be all religious and beautiful/handsome, but what would be the point if you cannot trust your spouse to make an informed and critical evaluation or decision on a matter. The mind is a terrible thing to waste. It is important that a prospective partner is mentally ready and mature.

3. Physical compatibility. Obviously, this is the aspect most focused on in a relationship to the detriment of others. It is important to have/marry a partner that you have an attraction for. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Therefore, beauty in itself is subjective!! However, unlike the previous qualities mentioned above, beauty, with the passage of time fades. This is when some men decide it is time to change/upgrade themselves. Any relationship based sorely on beauty is bound to hit the rocks at some point, because, when it is gone, you can't turn back the clock. 

This is not to underestimate the value of physical attraction. In other words, you have to like what you see!!!

1. Beautiful
2. Educated and inteligent
3.  Commited, faithful and loving.

kedkngo:

1. Beautiful
2. Educated and inteligent
3.  Commited, faithful and loving.

Nice list!!!

I am surprised you haven't included "God fearing" like most Nigerians are "conditioned" to do.

Imani:

I am surprised you haven't included "God fearing" like most Nigerians are "conditioned" to do.

Lol.

you missed out 'virgin' and 'never beheld a man's abunna'

Imani:



I am surprised you haven't included "God fearing" like most Nigerians are "conditioned" to do.

Can someone explain what "God fearing" means.Are we supposed to be in a permanent state of angst and trepidation over God's vengeance?

The  qualities I want :

1)The only daughter of a wealthy parent

2)A recovering nymphomaniac

3)Gravity defying mammary glands(NASA must be studying it for anti-gravity)

I-man:

Can someone explain what "God fearing" means.Are we supposed to be in a permanent state of angst and trepidation over God's vengeance?

The  qualities I want :

1)The only daughter of a wealthy parent

2)A recovering nymphomaniac

3)Gravity defying mammary glands(NASA must be studying it for anti-gravity)

Have you been away from Nigeria for so long? Even in the mainstream media, everywhere "God fearing" is seen as what you should be, to be seen as a "real and true" christian. Some nigerian pastors hardly preach love, grace, mercy in the right amount, just hellfire,satan and witches !!! I think some Nigerian christians have confused themselves with the Bible.

I-man, I can see you are a greedy, tit-lusting sexmaniac.

Ladies in the house, please let's hear your view on this topic.

How about qualities we don't want in a man.

1. a man who picks his nose in public

2. One who is at dinner in Jerusalem and you can hear his chewing from Jericho

3.A man who scratches himself especially grabbing his "jewels" in public like Michael Jackson.

every other thing,we can manage him as is and pray along that the almighty may have mercy

babyosisi:

How about qualities we don't want in a man.

1. a man who picks his nose in public

2. One who is at dinner in Jerusalem and you can hear his chewing from Jericho

3.A man who scratches himself especially grabbing his "jewels" in public like Michael Jackson.

every other thing,we can manage him as is and pray along that the almighty may have mercy

This is a good one baby!!

Imani:

Nice list!!!

I am surprised you haven't included "God fearing" like most Nigerians are "conditioned" to do.

and what is bad in want a man who is God fearing?

here are my list

1 well educated

2 handsome

3 and God fearing because if he has the fear of God he will treat me accordingly as Christ treated the church

@Topic!

Even with all the "born agains" the marriages are still tanking! Anyway to answer the question

1) Communication--(sexual)
2) Communication--(spiritual)
3) Communication--(verbal)

No sign language please!

1. Intelligence/Educated
2. Confidence (not arrogance)
3. Loving/Caring/Honesty

Beline:

3 and God fearing because if he has the fear of God he will treat me accordingly as Christ treated the church

Anyone can claim "God fearing" and still beat you up or commit adultery so give me a break.

Beline:

and God fearing because if he has the fear of God he will treat me accordingly as Christ treated the church

Fear is not a reliable factor in inducing good behaviour.Rather the person chooses good behaviour due to a rational thought process than due to trepidation in respect of God's vengeance.

MILITIA:



1) Communication--(sexual)
2) Communication--(spiritual)
3) Communication--(verbal)

No sign language please!

nice, i think i will go with this

babyosisi:

How about qualities we don't want in a man.

1. a man who picks his nose in public

2. One who is at dinner in Jerusalem and you can hear his chewing from Jericho

3.A man who scratches himself especially grabbing his "jewels" in public like Michael Jackson.

every other thing,we can manage him as is and pray along that the almighty may have mercy

and of course THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!

1. A man who is God fearing

2. A man who will love me more than i do love him

3. A man who will treat me as his mother and a queen

oh my, for me i want my man to

1. understanding (does'nt  shouts at me but cherishes me for who i am)

2. compatible (humor,interest etc)

3. Faithful (does not sleep around with women)

Hey Guys, what do u want to hear?

For me sha,


A man that loves God with all his heart ( when u see them u knw)
His personality counts (Carriage, self esteem and what have u)
Lastly Faithfulness in all things

All the best all.

mcube:


3. A man who will treat me as his mother and a queen

So you want someone who would have no problem with sleeping with someone he views as "his mother"?

ThiefOfHearts:

So you want someone who would have no problem with sleeping with someone he views as "his mother"?

@ThiefofHearts


I believe @mcube implies some one who respects and honours her as his own mother not the other way round.

Pls mcube update your post and clear the air.

Sarcasm just flies over your heads doesnt it?

There are men who don't treat their mothers right so I wouldn't necessarily want a man to treat me like his mother.

ThiefOfHearts:

Sarcasm just flies over your heads doesnt it?

@ ThiefOfHearts,

Sarcasm?   Far from it but inference.

babyosisi:

There are men who don't treat their mothers right so I wouldn't necessarily want a man to treat me like his mother.

@ babyosisi ,

It is a generally accepted  norm, religiously and socially, that children (men inclusive) aught to honour their parents (mothers inclusive.)

Therefore, I believe mothers should be honoured without any exception hence treating a wife like one's mother is not undesirable.

Are not husbands "babies" to their wives?

lol. of course they are babies.

Some one :
[list]
[li]you can connect with- soulmate kind of
who would make sacrifices for you
Who you can cope with thier flaws for the rest of your life[/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]

one more
[list]
[li]who would be sincere even if it hurts[/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]

1.) Fidelity
2.) Adaptability
3.) Trustworthyness

diyobdw:


one more
[list]
[li]who would be sincere even if it hurts[/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]

@diyobdw

This is hot!!
Can u handle it? cos there some level of sincerity that can rock the boat.ooo ooooo

diyobdw:

Some one :
[list]
[li]you can connect with- soulmate kind of who would make sacrifices for you[/li]
[li]Who you can cope with their flaws for the rest of your life[/li]
[/list]

one more
[list]
[li]who would be sincere even if it hurts[/li]
[/list]

I like these. Here are mine:
[list]
[li]Intelligent - doesn't need me to figure everything out and we can communicate on the same level[/li]
[li]Honest - will tell me anything without me having to ask because he likes to share with me, and he feels comfortable enough with me to say anything[/li]
[li]Unselfish - He considers how I feel and takes that into account[/li]
[/list]

List of things I don't want:
[list]
[li]Controlling - always tells me what to do[/li]
[li]No self-confidence - if he doesn't believe in himself I am not there to fix him[/li]
[li]Lazy - I ain't gonna do it all[/li]
[/list]