@OP,
You wanna hold him but he is holding someone else in his heart ---- adapted fro Lionel Richie's tract "Oh No".

You've only been together for just two months and I guess he has logged in to browse you a few times.That was the guy's polite way of telling you that what you share is not permanent and shouldn't get carried away with the browsing.FYI,you saw those his ex-wife's text messages because he planned it to be so.

See almost everybody here telling you to go find your own husband. Pls do just that.

is it that they are separated or divorced? If they r separated, i think he can still forgive his wife and go back to her.
I will advise u keep ur feelings for him under control so that he wont come back later to tell u he wants to go back to his wife thereby hurting you.
You too can try to be on the look out for another guy.

madam why cant u search for ur own man? why must it be someone else's man dat u ll b struggling for? are u dat ugly? or are u dat old and worn out? mtsheew! husband snatchers! he even told u he will always be in love wit her forever because of their marriage vows, and yet you still hav d effrontery to approach nairalanders for advice. dont be dumb. pack ur bags and leave him alone! damn!

ZIM DRILL:



he was always in love with her

so dont mislead your self saying he is in love with ex wife

@ Poster

Just because he's still in love with his ex doesn't mean he won't come to love you even more . . . . with time. You've only known this man for two months so it might not be proper to compare yourself with a woman he married and had a child with.

The truth of the matter is that she betrayed him and cheated on him . . . Their marriage is over! Even if they get back together, he will still feel that betrayal.

IMO, you have all the aces . . . you need to show this guy that you are the right one for him. Give him time and I bet you, his ex will be history. and BTW, I'm talking from experience!

Madam,the truth is dat u are living in a fool's paradise and the earlier u wake up,d better for u.Read btwn d lines and pls look elsewhere as there is no vacancy there.D man used u to get over d shock of his marital problem.Now d pains are about healing and to his legal wife-cum-love he must go to.

Kristaz:

Madam,the truth is dat u are living in a fool's paradise and the earlier u wake up,d better for u.Read btwn d lines and pls look elsewhere as there is no vacancy there.D man used u to get over d shock of his marital problem.Now d pains are about healing and to his legal wife-come-love he must go to.

Errrrm . . . I don't agree with you!

My advice, Pls n pls, he is not yours. It is very glaring frm the way he talked to you concerning his stance on vows or oaths. Look somewhere else. Cheers.


i agree with the above response. the truth is true love is deep and forgiving. Dude wants his wife back and remember they have a son. if the reason for the divorce is true, she really hurt the guy, but i tell you real love will make him forgive her soonest and they will be back together. don't be a second fiddle for any man.  if you cherish the guy, help him reconcile with the wife. he will forever remain gratefull to you and God will bless you with a wonderfull man that will love you unconditionally the way this Dude loves his wife.

what am suggesting to you is difficult but in life we always get reward for sacrifices made. he belongs to her and that is  the hard truth.

D truth is very bitter, D earlier u move on wit ur life d better. D man obviously loves his wife .Don't waste ur time giving excuses for him, there are a lot of men that are single without baggage. Let d man go bck 2 his family cos dat is were his heart is, u are just a distraction. U might end up wasting years and blocking ur chances of meeting someone else.He has nothing 2 loose ,u have every thing 2 loose.

he has tested both of you, and it is obvious that your 'show' is either sour,  fermented, smelly, dilapidated, over-used and or all of the above. so run to your mother and leave the happy family alone, you are the cause of their 'fake' separation. now run and tuck your tiny tail inside, dog.  

What's the matter with you all?
She think he is the man of her life. Why don't fight for him?
Where are the old days where we were fighting for something that deserve to be conquered??

My advice, Pls n pls, he is not yours. It is very glaring frm the way he talked to you concerning his stance on vows or oaths. Look somewhere else. Cheers.

True talk i hope poster understands.

Pray to God n wait for your own husband.

@OP, Thank him for his honesty and leave him so he can be with the one he loves. This is actually great for you as it allows you an opportunity to open another door. Surely this room is crowded with the 3 of you in it, no in fact 4 including the child.

Funny to read all these self-righteous know-it-alls.
I wonder how far from 100% perfect all your lives have been since
you graced our earth with your presence.

@OP Just keep your head and be as smart.
It is 50/50.

I just think that people will be far happier if they consciously avoid complicated r\ships.
If there's baggage and you cant deal, call it off on time.

okay

okay

Life is a risk, you might stay put and succeed at last or run away and regret it, wat of if it's the wife that's pestering him. I know your mind is made up to stay because of pecuniary considerations. So consider the two sides of the coin and use your brain

Best of luck

@CoderXO: I like you.
We can only give tips according to our experience or behaviour.
I personally know what it means to risk for someone. I did it in my life, and I suffered for it, but I will do it again for sure.

@OP
just 2months and u are here complaining , u better leave the poor man alone so go back to his wife

maybe it was dat woman dat made him who he's today, so will neva forget such a woman despite her shortcomings

Pls go & luk 4 ur own husband d man is stil in luv wit his x

I bet the poster is still in the uni, probably Unilag. You are calling a married man with a kid your boyfriend (separated or not)! I pity you! I wonder what is wrong with these girls self, he has told you he still loves his wife and will do till the end of time and u r here ranting about love, this and that. When he is done with the browsing as someone rightly put it above, you will know the truth, meanwhile enjoy the money while it lasts!

Madam the guy is just using you to satisfy his sexual feelings. If he can be so bold to tell you how much he loves his ex-wife meaning (he doesnt love you) he will glady welcome his ex-wife anytime any day she decide to returned back home. Find out what caused the seperation between him and the first wife, cos he might be lieing to you that the ex-wife was cheating on him, while he was the one that was cheating on the lady and she was force to abadone him. You are just two months with him, you haven't really know much about him.  Well i suggest you go look for another man to avoid disappointment.

Cheers!

I am very impressed with most of the comments. Almost everyone want the Ops to leave the scene to allow for reconciliation between the husband and wife. Nobody seem to remember the magnitude of the woman's sins - Sleeping with other men while married. Interesting

If only everyone can be this commited to the success of their marriage. I pray they come together.

Ops: Your presence in the life of the man can actually hinder their reconciliation. Pls leave the scene to enable then reconcile. There is a child involved.

I pray that God will give you your own man who will truly love you.

@Poster:
See, advices can be easily dished out by people, but what happens when they find themselves in the situation, they might not be able to take to their own advices. i read some the people saying "leave the man, leave the man", but if they find themselves in such situation, would they actually "leave the man" without a thought? or would they come to us for advice on nairaland?

I can relate with your story because i am in a similar situation, and i know what advice i could give to anyone if i didn't find myself in this, but how easy is it for me to actually act on the advice now? its hard, i must say.

My suggestion: try as much as you can to use your brain and not your heart. From what I read in your story, I think the guy would leave you when he gets the opportunity to be with his wife. don't be deceived, that man would rather stick with his wife and child than you.
You can keep sticking around him, but please, be on the look out for other guys, do not close the door of your heart with the thought that you have found 'the one', i would say that there is 85% chances that if he has to chose between his family and yourself, he'll chose his family.

So, why not start working on your feelings by keeping a safe space for yourself in case of the foreseen.

oluwasiu:

Am available call me 08023866132

He is a great person but he is not great for you. It is understandable that he still cares for his wife. The bond btw husband and wife can be pretty strong.
Young lady, you do not deserve to be second best for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, that may be the case if you stick with the dude. My advice is move on. There are lots of young great men out there for you. Don't sell yourself short. Goodluck

koolchicco:

Leave that dunce, he's trying to score a vulnerable chick.

You can`t fault a man for trying to score punn any

find ur root babe

When dem go tell una make una nor dey divorce, una nor go hear word.
If you nor marry 2 husbands or two wives, you nor go know which wan beta pass.
Lessons in life.

I saw in his phone that he had been texting his ex-wife, who he has a three year old son with.

How do you spiritually divorce someone you have created another human being with?
Never.

He lives in you and vice versa. Children are strong spiritual links, unless the individuals are under some curses, then they fail to realize this.

Should I worry or just give it time and see where it goes? Please help!!

Actually, you do not have a choice. You do not get to pick and choose who you fall in love with. You are stuck.

Kpele o!

My sister, remember that this is a family matter, the man know that his wife is his wife beside u dont no wht they passed thru be4 they got married. pls dont even ask d man his opinion becos he is not ur husband and will never be