Hello fellow nairalanders,
Please I need sincere advise from experienced members. I'm a married woman, young, intelligent and with a very good career. I dated my husband for 8 years before we finally got married. We love each other so much that u'd think we are related. I have had no reason to think he was/is cheating on me. We already have a kid together and we love her dearly. He lost is job and he had no savings. I had to do all that was needful for him to get back on his feet by collecting a loan from the office just for him to be ok. Recently, I observed he doesnt respect me anymore and does not value my opinion on issues. We had a little argument and he raised his hand on me. I felt very bitter becos I know all I have been through because of him just to make him happy. He makes me thinks of going out because I dont get his attention while other guys who admire outside are willing to even spend a minute with me.
Right now, I am in a confused state and sober. I'm thinking of a way to prove to him that without my sincere assistance, he would not be where he is today. I am so much attributable to all his success today yet he doesnt seem to appreciate that fact. Please advise me, how do I deal with this issue?

firstly,kill the pride in you,

were are still viewing.

You need to get on your knees and pray plus sit him down and have a heart to heart talk with him.

I think you should post this in the family section

I can Imagine how yo feel,  but, you need to understand that its God that gives you the privilege to help your husband,
remember you too offends God, (known and unknown sins) yet He forgives you and not prove to you that he has the air you breath or the rain that falls on you, or the blood that runs in your vein,

It is difficult and painful to do, but you have to forgive him, and see it as an attack from the enemy,

Wait a minute, what will you gain by 'proving' to him? will it make your family any better? will it keep and unit your home?, 2 wrongs don't make a right, you cant right the wrong by doing the wrong thing,

Put it all in God's hand, and let God justify you,

You have to understand that he is not emotionally stable right now, having lost his job. He knows that you contributed immensely towards his success(and pls do not remind him of that wheneva you talk with him). All he needs now is just your support and tolerance, he will be fine when things start moving well for him. Pls just be careful, this is your trial time and no marriage is a bed of roses forever, things like this if handled properly will strengthen your love afterwards. Was he your first boyfriend?

Commit everything to God and surely he will surprise you. Life has so many ups and down but if u endure u will reap its fruits at the end

Oh thanks high chief. I'm really encouraged by your words. Will try and stick to your advice. He was my first and only boyfriend

At this point more because you have been a major instrument in his success you need to be truly humble besides think of it as one of your roles as a wife is to ensure the success of your husband and vice versa. Thank God you were able to do your bit that is why two heads are better than one.

Pls avoid lecturing him on the ppart you played in/for his success it really is a turn off for anybody even you. It is necessary you talk to him to melt away all resentment towards him you know how it is once you express yourself, complain about something that doesnt feel right to you, is hurting you, you will feel better. While communicating your feeling to him pls avoid being judgemental,naggish and arrogant.your body language, tone of voice should be in sync with an attitude of humility trust me it helps, only foolish women tear down the house they have laboriously built. throw away pride most times its a waste of emotions/feelings.

hsert:

Oh thanks high chief. I'm really encouraged by your words. Will try and stick to your advice. He was my first and only boyfriend

You are welcome my sister. You can as well go on a vacation with him or keep getting him gifts despite that he doesnt deserve them, but it will help bring him back to his right senses fast enough and save your marriage

funny enuf, i'm not proud, neither do i nag nor remind him of how i contributed to his success. I jst keep my cool.