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| Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 10:34am On Mar 30, 2011 |
Random Quotes: *** A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station, If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks? Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso. How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for? You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. Clones are people two. If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong? If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man." Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 10:36am On Mar 30, 2011 |
Family Definitions ** Grandfather -- a man whose daughter once married someone who was vastly her inferior mentally but consequently gave birth to unbelievably brilliant grandchildren. Grandmother -- a baby-sitter who doesn't hang around the refrigerator. Father -- someone who has redeemed the money in his wallet for snapshots. Mother -- the person who feeds the mouth that bites her. Child -- a lump bred up in darkness. Aunt -- the only person who would have made a better mother than your mother. Uncle -- a relative who only seems to like you when he needs something done for him. Son -- the result of getting what you thought you wanted. Daughter -- a person who dad likes because she reminds him why he married his wife, and who mother is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her. Cousin -- the relative most likely to be responsible for your trouble. Mother-in-law -- a ready source of all knowledge, especially advice, history, and judgments. Father-in-law -- the fellow who is now happy to have paid for the wedding because now his wife has another man to harass. |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 10:39am On Mar 30, 2011 |
Man + Woman ** Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profits Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs. A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she does not need. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. To be happy with a man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate overnight. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. |
| Re: Random Quotes by Babypinkyz(f): 1:36pm On Mar 30, 2011 |
U get time. NICE WRITE UP |
| Re: Random Quotes by greedie1(f): 4:51pm On Mar 30, 2011 |
Very good |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 10:11pm On Mar 30, 2011 |
Not all are actually mine, just compilations from different sources. Hope you enjoyed them!  |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 5:55pm On Mar 31, 2011 |
[size=13pt]It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets. [/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 5:57pm On Mar 31, 2011 |
[size=13pt]The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.[/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 6:04pm On Mar 31, 2011 |
[size=13pt]Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment.[/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 7:41pm On Apr 05, 2011 |
Ogaga4Luv: Nice one. |
| Re: Random Quotes by Pweety4me(f): 3:10am On Apr 06, 2011 |
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| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 3:12am On Apr 06, 2011 |
U like? |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 9:57pm On Apr 06, 2011 |
[size=13pt]Thank you my dear. . . [/size]Phate07: |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 10:03pm On Apr 06, 2011 |
[size=13pt]Speak of the devil and he appears . . . .  [/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 10:08pm On Apr 06, 2011 |
[size=13pt]The devil is not so ugly as he is painted. [/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 12:14am On Apr 07, 2011 |
why do you like the devil so much? Something you aint telling us? |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 1:10pm On Apr 07, 2011 |
[size=13pt]Well , i don't need to speak out before anyone would know the Devil have been so good to me and the entire World . i just have to like the devil so much beyond likeness . It's for the sake of the goodness of human race .  [/size]Phate07: |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 1:21pm On Apr 07, 2011 |
[size=13pt]Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom entails responsibility and most people are frightened of responsibility.[/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 1:24pm On Apr 07, 2011 |
[size=13pt]We used to wonder where war lived, what it was that made it so vile. And now we realize that we know where it lives: Inside ourselves. . . . [/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by 190: 6:34pm On Apr 07, 2011 |
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| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 7:10pm On Apr 07, 2011 |
Ogaga4Luv: Devil and good/goodness are two words that do not go together. Have you ever had a personal encounter with 190: Wetin? |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 7:13pm On Apr 07, 2011 |
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other end. Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test. Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master. Divorce: Future tense of marriage. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of any. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by a feminine water-power. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Dictionary: a place where divorce comes before marriage. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. Classic: A book which people praise but does not read. |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 7:16pm On Apr 07, 2011 |
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. Philosophy: A fool who torments himself during life to be spoken of when dead. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Towers says in midway “See I am not injured yet.” Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. Father: A banker provided by nature. Criminal: A guy not different from the rest except that he got caught. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. Politicians: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. Doctor: A person who kills your ills with pills and kills you with his bills. |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 2:35pm On Apr 12, 2011 |
[size=13pt]Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing[/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 2:38pm On Apr 12, 2011 |
[size=13pt]The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off [/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 2:47pm On Apr 12, 2011 |
Only 4 Fs push me on to accomplish that which I have achieved- My Friends, My Fans, My Family and My Foes! |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 3:05pm On Apr 12, 2011 |
[size=13pt]Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted[/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 3:13pm On Apr 12, 2011 |
[size=13pt]As Ariel recounted the events of her dream, two magnificent, batlike wings grew from the backs of her shoulders, stretched as if preparing to fly, then retreated back into their host. The sound heard when the wings disappear is the giggling of Alanna, who watched the event much the same way I did, in rapt wonder.[/size] |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 1:13pm On Apr 28, 2011 |
"I don't like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone." - Delta Burke |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 1:16pm On Apr 28, 2011 |
"He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened." - Lao Tzu |
| Re: Random Quotes by Phate07(m): 1:17pm On Apr 28, 2011 |
“When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere." François de la Rochefoucauld |
| Re: Random Quotes by Ogaga4Luv(m): 11:20am On May 03, 2011 |
[size=13pt]Phate dear you have great collections of quote here. . . .please , keep em posting! they're inspiring and the standard of life . [/size] |
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