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Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? - Family - Nairaland

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Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 4:43am On Mar 31, 2011
Is it advisable for a man to drive his father in-law to a social function, please am juSt so confused, my wife's parent are to go to an important ceremony and their driver was absent from duty, unfortunately for me, i was at their place with my family members(wife and children). Is it advisable to offer help or i should also look for a way to excuse myself(which was what i did anyway).This has caused a great debate among my friends, and also my wife is angry with me, please I need your advice, incase of next time.
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Outstrip(f): 4:51am On Mar 31, 2011
I don't see the problem. I think the problem might arise if your father in laws goes and sits in the "owner's corner" like you people do in Nigeria. I am pretty sure that is why you hesitated to offer theman a ride
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Thirst4Lif: 4:56am On Mar 31, 2011
Why wouldn't you offer the man a ride? Wouldn't you want

him to offer YOU a ride if you were in need? This is ridiculous!

Are you THAT selfish?
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 8:28am On Mar 31, 2011
...
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by horny4u(f): 9:06am On Mar 31, 2011
Listen to CC! Let me add that you buy the humble pie asap b4 it becomes a do me I do u match between u and the wife. If I were wife ma be wo to the last ni as my parents ain't toothpicks but for them there goes me. You have a better chance at a happy marriage when you are humble.
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Godalone(m): 9:20am On Mar 31, 2011
A man should see his father In-law as his own father.
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by babyme1(f): 9:48am On Mar 31, 2011
You are one ndisime man. Is your father-in-law not your father? There are somethings your common sense should tell you to do.

Maybe the common sense is not that common anymore undecided
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by maclatunji: 10:22am On Mar 31, 2011
The poster seems not to:

-Love his wife

-Understand what marriage is all about

However, there a few exceptions when a man may say no. If he would refuse to drive his father to a place he finds objectionable, he could do the same for his father-in-law.
For example, if your father-in-law asked you to drive he and his family to his secret society's social function, you really ought to say no if you find where he is going objectionable, QED!
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by amyliajane(f): 11:21am On Mar 31, 2011
i quite agree, if u begin to see ur FIL as a stranger rather than ur father and a family then there's bound to be problem cause the day your mother would want to come for a weekkend the wife may say there is no space in the house for an extra person
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 1:37pm On Mar 31, 2011
@all, Thanks, I so much appreciate your responses. Yes, truely I come from the race where elderly people are respected. But, I was just so confused maybe its right to drive him to a function I wasn't invited to. I know there is nothing bad in driving my FIL, but since its to a social function, that was what got me confused and made me do what I did,
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by ritapearl(f): 4:02pm On Mar 31, 2011
chaircover:

Why is marriage so complicated these days? Look at it this way, wont your wife drive your own mother or father if the need arises? Would you not drive your own father if required?

Start to see your wife and anything that belongs to her as yours, then you wont have an issue with doing things like this.

When my SIL comes to town I drive them anywhere they want to go; I enjoy their company and that is the only time we manage to discuss our female to female topics without disturbance grin

In the same way, I dont do airport runs, hospital appointments, shopping trips etc for my mum when she is in town. Her son in law insists on doing all that.

. . . . . Why Because he would do the same for his own mother and he treats my mum as he would treat his . . . . and guess what I respect him even more for that.

I know you may be worried that they may make it a habit of calling on you for what you may consider as "demeaning" jobs, but like you said, it was a one off and it wasn't as if they didn't already have a driver.

I am sure that your wife too on occasion goes out of her way to please your folks. It works both ways.

Life is simple for those who choose to keep it simple.


I wish everyone had this philosophy of life.

This world would have been a better place for us all. And marriage would have been lovely for everyone too.

Chaircover, you said it all. Do unto others what you want them to do unto you.
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by babyme1(f): 4:11pm On Mar 31, 2011
ondo_boi:

@all, Thanks, I so much appreciate your responses. Yes, truely I come from the race where elderly people are respected. But, I was just so confused maybe its right to drive him to a function I wasn't invited to. I know there is nothing bad in driving my FIL, but since its to a social function, that was what got me confused and made me do what I did,

You made a very big mistake. You better not behave like that next time.
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 4:42pm On Mar 31, 2011
[size=18pt]Children should not be allowed to get married anymore![/size] angry angry angry
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by dayokanu(m): 4:57pm On Mar 31, 2011
I dont see any big deal with this as long as its not taken for granted
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Bawss1(m): 5:32pm On Mar 31, 2011
Ujujoan:

[size=18pt]Children should not be allowed to get married anymore![/size] angry angry angry
cheesy cheesy cheesy

Child marriage takes many forms these days.

See question.
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 9:19pm On Mar 31, 2011
Ujujoan:

[size=18pt]Children should not be allowed to get married anymore![/size] angry angry angry
am in my late 30's, Also, remember mistake has no master!!
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 9:53pm On Mar 31, 2011
...
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 10:04pm On Mar 31, 2011
chaircover:

Dont worry about it poster. What is done is done and i seems like you genuingly made an on the spur of the moment a mistake and you really didnt set out to be spiteful. Life goes on.

Apologise to your wife and try and do something to make up to your in-laws; like a gift or something. You dont have to come clean with them, just say ejo ema binu ojo. I couldnt take you because   . . . and repeat the initial excuse you gave them

We all make mistakes but the main thing is that we learn from them  wink
Thanks ma'am, I so much appreciate that.
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by deniyor: 3:45am On Apr 01, 2011
What would you have done if it was your own father?
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by tjskii(f): 7:46am On Apr 01, 2011
why not, its no biggie, even if the man sits in the owner's corner, u would do the same for your dad too
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by obowunmi(m): 11:33am On Apr 01, 2011
@ OP, Ondo boi, hire a bloody driver for the week to drive the man around, You are no one's house boy. HIRE a driver to take them around for a month, while their driver recovers/ returns from vacay.
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 8:51am On Apr 04, 2011
i think you are still a boy. Is your father inlaw not your father? i think you have just exhibited low self esteem. abi yu marry him daughter because the man hold money? wake up man,
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 5:26pm On Apr 04, 2011
maclatunji:

The poster seems not to:

-Love his wife

-Understand what marriage is all about

However, there a few exceptions when a man may say no. If he would refuse to drive his father to a place he finds objectionable, he could do the same for his father-in-law.
For example, if your father-in-law asked you to drive he and his family to his secret society's social function, you really ought to say no if you find where he is going objectionable, QED!

kolo grin
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Fhemmmy: 8:51pm On Apr 04, 2011
There is nothing wrong in it, however, be-careful, cos he might make it a norm . . . . I would rather call a driver that i might know to do the job if i dont wanna automatically become his driver
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by obowunmi(m): 4:01am On Apr 05, 2011
Some people are just nuts. How does rejecting not to drive someone equate to not loving ones wife --- that's absolute madness, no correlation at all at all.
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 7:41am On Apr 05, 2011
obowunmi:

Some people are just nuts. How does rejecting not to drive someone equate to not loving ones wife --- that's absolute madness, no correlation at all at all.
I wonder ooo
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Nobody: 7:52am On Apr 05, 2011
...
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by obowunmi(m): 2:27pm On Apr 05, 2011
@ CC, all of that one na story.

@ OP -- hire a driver to drive the in-laws around. End of story.
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by ifyalways(f): 3:25pm On Apr 05, 2011
ondo_boi:

Is it advisable for a man to drive his father in-law to a social function, please am juSt so confused, my wife's parent are to go to an important ceremony and their driver was absent from duty, unfortunately for me, i was at their place with my family members(wife and children). Is it advisable to offer help or i should also look for a way to excuse myself(which was what i did anyway).This has caused a great debate among my friends[b], and also my wife is angry with me[/b], please I need your advice, incase of next time.
Have you apologized yet  undecided Im sure your wife is angry cos she KNOWS the excuse you gave her Parents were lies.She deserves a sort of explanation and apology,not because you are wrong but because you are a real MAN.
Why or what prompted you to lie,fabricate an excuse?You don't just feel like driving,you are not very free with your PIL ?

There is no rules that says you should become your PIL's driver however little things matters alot.You could have done it,it won't take anything off you.

You said your PIL's have got a driver so this is more like an emergency so what are the chances of a re-occurrence?Taxi,No?
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by Fhemmmy: 8:28pm On Apr 05, 2011
chaircover:

I wouldn't say that you don't love your wife, but many times we do things for our loved ones not because we particularly want to do them but because we love them.

Rather than just saying a capital NO, you would look at how your decision will affect your loved one and that is what will spur you on.

What you will look at under this kind of situation is that whether or not you drive them to the function, they will get there somehow; by taxi, asking someone else to drive them, bus etc etc but the bad taste you have left in your wife's mouth will remain there long after your in-laws get back from their function.

Women generally speaking have a very long memory & she will get her pound of flesh back somehow sometime.

Some things are just not worth the hassle.


Full Gbam
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by maclatunji: 11:03am On Apr 06, 2011
obowunmi:

Some people are just nuts. How does rejecting not to drive someone equate to not loving ones wife --- that's absolute madness, no correlation at all at all.

ondo_boi:

I wonder ooo


Obviously the two of you do not know what the word "seems" means in the context that it was used here:

maclatunji:

The poster [b]seems [/b]not to:

-Love his wife

-Understand what marriage is all about

However, there a few exceptions when a man may say no. If he would refuse to drive his father to a place he finds objectionable, he could do the same for his father-in-law.
For example, if your father-in-law asked you to drive he and his family to his secret society's social function, you really ought to say no if you find where he is going objectionable, QED!

If you cannot define terms, how can you relate talk-less of correlate?
Re: Pls, Is It Advisable For A Man To Drive His Father In-law To A Social Function? by obowunmi(m): 12:15pm On Apr 06, 2011
Looka who is coming to lecture on the wrd "seem": next time, villager, use the proper terminology, versus trying to xplain incongruent lingo. Kapish --- and if ure receiving Eglish lectures from Obiagbhon, then not my concern.

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