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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Culture / A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) (11775 Views)
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Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by youngies(m): 2:10pm On Jan 29, 2009 |
@Theblessed Don't get it twisted, you didn't understand the culture at all. The culture is meant to protect women. We all know that men pregnant young girl and deny being responsible, only to surface years later and want to claim the child leaving the woman who have laboured to bring up the child with nothing. In my part of Igboland, if the man surfaces later and the woman is still unmarried, he could still marry her and then claim his child. |
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by ohaechesi(m): 3:06pm On Jan 29, 2009 |
Theblessed: I would have argued the planet you and your family exist, definitely not the emulating type or else you wouldn't resonate sarcastically on a culture that spare women from being products of vulg. It attach a lot of significant value in any matrimonial home. Even the bible recognised it. that is why before a Pastor, Rev, Father will grant your wedding request, he will ask you if you have ascertained the traditional aspect of it. I wonder where the so called education and exposure is taking some nuts. |
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by princekevo(m): 5:01pm On Jan 29, 2009 |
Theblessed: Which of the planet are u living in?wht kinda education and exposure are u talkin abt, ? Probably the word marriage originate from ur own planet and not an English word, How much does it cost to register marriage under law and how much is Palm wine and Schnapps to do it traditionally, Go and read wht laws of different country says about Cohabitation partners,b4 u start criticising the culture, i believe that is one of the best culture that stands to protect the woman from some irresponsible men, So i wonder if any woman in her right senses will criticise tht, |
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by samparian(m): 3:22am On Jan 30, 2009 |
In many igbo communities, even if a guy wants to get married to a girl and finds out that she's pregnant for him, he has to go through the traditional marriage quickly before the girl's kins men(not her parents) find out that she is pregnant. If they do, the marriage will not hold. the igbos say" adi eke nwanyi na afo ime" YOU DONT GIVE OUT A WOMAN AND HER PREGNANCY. It has been the tradition since or forefathers. Furthermore, a man who doesnt have a son can ask his grown up EDUCATED daughter to stay back and have kids for him so as to preserve the family name. I know of a beautiful graduate who lost her dad and she appealed to her mum and paternal grandfather to allow her stay and have children to preserve their family name. people are not forced into such things. they do it out of choice or obligation, but it is NEVER mandatory. |
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by oweniwe(m): 7:13pm On Jul 09, 2010 |
The culture, just like life itself has a good and bad side. The good side is that it discourages irresponsibility, enables the partners know each other well b4 marriage, ensures that the man can provide for his family, etc. The bad side is that those who are born into relationships like that especially girls go through lots of stigma and trauma that prevents them from acheiving their life aspirations. It also affects the child's marriage later coz it creates tension between the child (now married) and in laws. Anyway, lets call a spade a spade. Its wrong for anyone 2 hav child outside marriage so i support the tradition |
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by 677ano(m): 11:23am On Sep 21, 2011 |
This is absurd has anyone ever considered the fact that maybe the man could not marry the woman or pay the bride price because the families of these women are demanding an arm and a leg from the man? Now I can see why there are quite a lot of unmarried Igbo women around. Very soon with the exhorbitant bride price demand in Igbo land the Igbo men will soon be marrying other tribes enmasse The man can claim his child in line with the Nigerian constitution in a court of law despite not being able to pay the bride price of the woman |
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by NRIPRIEST(m): 1:11pm On Sep 23, 2011 |
happens alot among the Igbos. the very few girls that had baby in their fathers house kept the child.they never were claimed by their biological father. dont mess with igbos. 1 Like |
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by andylee2cool: 2:24am On Mar 27, 2017 |
i have a child with ibo girl, and during the pregnancy she was in my house after i met with the parents, they said i cannot pay her bride price because she was married, now she put to bed when she was still in my house, that is i have been responsible for the child finance, now they my girl back to her parents house, and they said she cannot longer come to my house because i am not married to her, and now i don't have the financial means to do that, and i am also worried they might not accept me because from the one they were on about benin people are bad and they are this and that. the father have no male child five girls, the mother of my child is the eldest, now my child is a boy. they have been planning adopting a male child according to my girl for 500,000naira. any lawyer in the building? i understand their customary culture, but i am not ibo, i am from benin and we also have our customary law. i do not want my child to be raised by one parents, i am not asking for full custody and as well don't want to be visiting my child in the parents house. |
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by Ndipe(m): 2:08am On Oct 18, 2017 |
It's also common in my tribe, the ibibios. But we dont call it dowry, we call it mkpo usongenyin. I think it's wrong to call it dowry, because it implies you are paying the woman's bride price even though she is not your wife. Our is a penalty for impregnating someone's daughter without marrying her. So you have to pay up to claim your child. What I have also heard is that in Iboland, a man cannot claim a child as theirs if he was not legally married to the mother. Is it true? |
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