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A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) - Culture (2) - Nairaland

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Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by youngies(m): 2:10pm On Jan 29, 2009
@Theblessed

Don't get it twisted, you didn't understand the culture at all. The culture is meant to protect women. We all know that men pregnant young girl and deny being responsible, only to surface years later and want to claim the child leaving the woman who have laboured to bring up the child with nothing. In my part of Igboland, if the man surfaces later and the woman is still unmarried, he could still marry her and then claim his child.
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by ohaechesi(m): 3:06pm On Jan 29, 2009
Theblessed:

A bad culture and a stiffling one. Too controlling and intimidating. Why shouldn't a man claim his own biological child just because the poverty stricken family demands a goat and a cow plus a couple of Naira that a childs future, welbeing and general development should be compromised for, is it?

I have always say it IGBO culture need serious reviewing, honest.

So, if a man has no money to marry the woman he should not be allowed to create a decent and happy family that would support the future general development of his family, is it?

Well, here is your answer. That's why many Nigerian girls not only resort into back street abortion and sudden deaths or run off to live with the man thus depriving greedy family of the pittance dowry. Why should any respectable woman be married with dowry? Until this dowry tradition ends, women and in particular Igbo girls' will continue to be slaves to their to their Slave Master husbands. Thank God my own family are well above that tradition. My father is not rich but he will never, has never accepted any penny from his inlaws for his daughters and I'm very proud of him therefore, the men in our lives do not percieve us as their investment or property they can treat any how e.g. punch your eyes out without hesitation when he's upset. I dare them to. So, my dear friend if you or anyone you know has been affected by this urgly Igbo tradition, don't worry - the baby go fin im papa when i gro up. Problem bi say da woman you go go marry after im mama, whether igo let the baby be as him/her be your fes bikin instead of make am second citizen in im papa house - check it out. Nigerian women especially those in Nigeria, I fear una, o But my advice be say make you kip making yourself present to your baby, o Give money for feeding, school etc na so you go take win them, I promise you.


I would have argued the planet you and your family exist, definitely not the emulating type or else you wouldn't resonate sarcastically on a culture that spare women from being products of vulg. It attach a lot of significant value in any matrimonial home. Even the bible recognised it. that is why before a Pastor, Rev, Father will grant your wedding request, he will ask you if you have ascertained the traditional aspect of it. I wonder where the so called education and exposure is taking some nuts.
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by princekevo(m): 5:01pm On Jan 29, 2009
Theblessed:

A bad culture and a stiffling one. Too controlling and intimidating. Why shouldn't a man claim his own biological child just because the poverty stricken family demands a goat and a cow plus a couple of Naira that a childs future, welbeing and general development should be compromised for, is it?

I have always say it IGBO culture need serious reviewing, honest.

So, if a man has no money to marry the woman he should not be allowed to create a decent and happy family that would support the future general development of his family, is it?

Well, here is your answer. That's why many Nigerian girls not only resort into back street abortion and sudden deaths or run off to live with the man thus depriving greedy family of the pittance dowry. Why should any respectable woman be married with dowry? Until this dowry tradition ends, women and in particular Igbo girls' will continue to be slaves to their to their Slave Master husbands. Thank God my own family are well above that tradition. My father is not rich but he will never, has never accepted any penny from his inlaws for his daughters and I'm very proud of him therefore, the men in our lives do not percieve us as their investment or property they can treat any how e.g. punch your eyes out without hesitation when he's upset. I dare them to. So, my dear friend if you or anyone you know has been affected by this urgly Igbo tradition, don't worry - the baby go fin im papa when i gro up. Problem bi say da woman you go go marry after im mama, whether igo let the baby be as him/her be your fes bikin instead of make am second citizen in im papa house - check it out. Nigerian women especially those in Nigeria, I fear una, o But my advice be say make you kip making yourself present to your baby, o Give money for feeding, school etc na so you go take win them, I promise you.

Which of the planet are u living in?wht kinda education and exposure are u talkin abt, ? Probably the word marriage originate from ur own planet and not an English word,
How much does it cost to register marriage under law and how much is Palm wine and Schnapps to do it traditionally,
Go and read wht laws of different country says about Cohabitation partners,b4 u start criticising the culture, i believe that is one of the best culture that stands to protect the woman from some irresponsible men, So i wonder if any woman in her right senses will criticise tht,
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by samparian(m): 3:22am On Jan 30, 2009
In many igbo communities, even if a guy wants to get married to a girl and finds out that she's pregnant for him, he has to go through the traditional marriage quickly before the girl's kins men(not her parents) find out that she is pregnant. If they do, the marriage will not hold.
the igbos say" adi eke nwanyi na afo ime" YOU DONT GIVE OUT A WOMAN AND HER PREGNANCY.
It has been the tradition since or forefathers.
Furthermore, a man who doesnt have a son can ask his grown up EDUCATED daughter to stay back and have kids for him so as to preserve the family name.
I know of a beautiful graduate who lost her dad and she appealed to her mum and paternal grandfather to allow her stay and have children to preserve their family name.
people are not forced into such things. they do it out of choice or obligation, but it is NEVER mandatory.
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by oweniwe(m): 7:13pm On Jul 09, 2010
The culture, just like life itself has a good and bad side. The good side is that it discourages irresponsibility, enables the partners know each other well b4 marriage, ensures that the man can provide for his family, etc. The bad side is that those who are born into relationships like that especially girls go through lots of stigma and trauma that prevents them from acheiving their life aspirations. It also affects the child's marriage later coz it creates tension between the child (now married) and in laws. Anyway, lets call a spade a spade. Its wrong for anyone 2 hav child outside marriage so i support the tradition
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by 677ano(m): 11:23am On Sep 21, 2011
This is absurd has anyone ever considered the fact that maybe the man could not marry the woman or pay the bride price because the families of these women are demanding an arm and a leg from the man?

Now I can see why there are quite a lot of unmarried Igbo women around. Very soon with the exhorbitant bride price demand in Igbo land the Igbo men will soon be marrying other tribes enmasse

The man can claim his child in line with the Nigerian constitution in a court of law despite not being able to pay the bride price of the woman
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by NRIPRIEST(m): 1:11pm On Sep 23, 2011
happens alot among the Igbos.
the very few girls that had baby in their fathers house kept the child.they never were claimed by their biological father.
dont mess with igbos.

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Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by andylee2cool: 2:24am On Mar 27, 2017
i have a child with ibo girl, and during the pregnancy she was in my house after i met with the parents, they said i cannot pay her bride price because she was married, now she put to bed when she was still in my house, that is i have been responsible for the child finance, now they my girl back to her parents house, and they said she cannot longer come to my house because i am not married to her, and now i don't have the financial means to do that, and i am also worried they might not accept me because from the one they were on about benin people are bad and they are this and that. the father have no male child five girls, the mother of my child is the eldest, now my child is a boy. they have been planning adopting a male child according to my girl for 500,000naira. any lawyer in the building? i understand their customary culture, but i am not ibo, i am from benin and we also have our customary law. i do not want my child to be raised by one parents, i am not asking for full custody and as well don't want to be visiting my child in the parents house.
Re: A Man Cannot Claim A Child If He Did Not Marry The Mother (igbos Only) by Ndipe(m): 2:08am On Oct 18, 2017
It's also common in my tribe, the ibibios. But we dont call it dowry, we call it mkpo usongenyin. I think it's wrong to call it dowry, because it implies you are paying the woman's bride price even though she is not your wife. Our is a penalty for impregnating someone's daughter without marrying her. So you have to pay up to claim your child.

What I have also heard is that in Iboland, a man cannot claim a child as theirs if he was not legally married to the mother. Is it true?

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