harakiri:

Dude,

If there's anything i've learnt the hard way, it's NOT to banter back and forth with illogical people. Even if something is red in color and you point it out to them, they will still delude themselves and call it blue. She and the poster are making it look as if the mother and son are bedtime lovers (sick ) all because they hug and peck. I wonder how they would react in the midst of Italians,Sicilians and other European people who not only peck constantly but actually kiss on the lips a lot (not wet kisses oooo! lol. . .before someone comes and predictably misquotes me out of context).

This thread is about a woman's jealousy of the love her husband has for his mother and NOTHING MORE! It's about territorial battle and utter selfishness. Women can be so myopic and illogical sometimes and i advise you not to bother bantering with YOU KNOW WHO anymore. It's pointless,senseless and a pitiful waste of mental energy. You should know better.

End of!

Genius100:

You are obviously a bone headed numb skull. If she's not okay with it, does that mean she's right? What an emotional wreck. Some women are really hopeless!! I do not have the kind of relationship she described with my parents, but I fully recognize the right of people to have close relationships with their parents as long as it is pure. The poster clearly said it was pure, but that's too difficult to get into your vacuous brain.

So she did not see that the mom and son were close before she married him. Now she married him, she has no complaints about undue interference, but that he is close to his mom. Like I said, you broads need to understand the world does not revolve around your sorry a-ss emotions. If she does not like it, she can waka,  Enough said. You are obviously an intellectual midget, so I won't waste more time on you.

You know some thing, I would love to ask how old you are with everything you've just said , but I know you can't even count that high. So I'll leave that for another day. Only dimwitted yam heads like both of you would keep saying the rubbish I'm hearing.

Don't you understand simple english? Should I write slower for you or something? What in everything I wrote don't you get?

Because you don't agree with it doesn't make something ILLOGICAL!!!

God help you two.  Why won't you realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and your mum? Italians and whatnot have their culture. Nigerians have theirs. Stop trying to make black look like white for your own misogynistic purposes. Both of you probably think that by hiding under the banner of "Women are myopic and irrational" that you'll win every argument. ERRR . . . no. Life isn't like that. Women may be emotional, but at least we have a need to make sense - unlike either of you.

Please keep gabbling in your baby talk and wait for your mother to come and pick you up, ok? She's coming o! Please just wait for her. Maybe she'll help you translate your baby talk into something coherent.

You know what, I will leave you to be free and torment anyone you come across. But I will not even bother replying to you anymore. So post if you want. I don't think scum of the earth like you even deserve my disdain.

chaircover:

Genius, Seriously do you really have to insult people simply because you don't agree with them? Is that how you communicate with people in the real world?

What on earth has my family got to do with the topic?

Please do me a favour and try and ignore my posts in future if you find it difficult to make your points without throwing insults.

Thank You

No hard feeling, but was this not exactly the same thing I was calling out that next-best-thing-since-sliced-bread Shy-one who claims to be an adult and a lady and a Christian for that matter, for doing to Outstrip, before you and Jaybee now jumped in and started preaching to me, instead of facing her squarely and telling her off, if you felt the need to get involved


Anyway, like I said, its done and dusted

///

chaircover:

^^^^ so in a nutshell it serves me right?     . . . .  Weeks later? although I don't recall preaching to you about anything apart from asking you all to forget it and move on; shyone included.

Genius and I have both posted on this thread since the altercation and we have both respected each others wishes & kept away from each other and so as far as I am concerned the issue is over, unless there is something else that you want to point out.

We are all different and I do not as a matter of choice insult or want to be insulted by anyone. I treat people as I wish to be treated and when 2 people are having a ding dong, I don't take sides but appeal to all parties to cool things down . . . . That is me, that is my nature and I wont be changing that anytime soon.

If I have learnt anything on this site, It has opened my eyes to the diversity in Ideas and I have come to understand that we all cant be the same; different backgrounds, experiences, life situations etc and so there will be conflict in ideas but we can all try to be civil to one another if we put our mind to it

Happy Easter 

P.S  what is your take on the topic?

Hold on, Is chaircover a woman or a man?!

///

^^^

We are back!

How you doing?

///

chaircover:

^^^^^LOL 

I was fiddling with my profile a few days ago and must have given myself an online sex-change

I am a woman o!

No wonder the toasters have disappeared 

LMAO . . . Dont worry they'll soon be back.

chaircover:

^^^^ so in a nutshell it serves me right?     . . . .  Weeks later? although I don't recall preaching to you about anything apart from asking you all to forget it and move on; shyone included.

Genius and I have both posted on this thread since the altercation and we have both respected each others wishes & kept away from each other and so as far as I am concerned the issue is over, unless there is something else that you want to point out.

Well, I haven't been here in weeks, so . . .


What I have pointed out in case you missed it, again, is that anyone that feels the need to get involved and tell someone off,  should face the person squarely, I did nothing wrong on that thread. All I did was defend Outstrip, like you just did yourself against Genius100, so you coming in to say forget it, blah, blah, blah, when it was just myself and shy-one was off. The only difference here is that, you defended yourself, and I defended Outstrip, and the irony was that you said the same thing as Outstrip, yet she was fawning over your post. Same way I posted some opinion laced with legal fact which she jumped on as false, yet latched on to Sisikill's post which covered the same legal stuff I covered and you'd have thunk she was in a competition to see how far up Sisikill's a.r.s.e she could muster to win people to her side, the hypocrite, pssft


Never for once did I go personal with her and try to make it my battle, not once, even when she said I had a moustache and called me ugly, I deflected this by saying I was beautifully and wonderfully made in her God's image, and that He loves me and all the hair on my body, which He even told me in the Bible that He had painstakingly numbered And this was the point all hell broke loose and she started fighting God for loving me warts and all I only had 3 of my posts deleted compared to her 25 odd posts. See, I never for once took my eyes off the ball to get into the mud with her. I don't roll like that with the female of the species, don't have time for them and their 1001 hormones that drive them

chaircover:

We are all different and I do not as a matter of choice insult or want to be insulted by anyone. I treat people as I wish to be treated and when 2 people are having a ding dong, I don't take sides but appeal to all parties to cool things down . . . . That is me, that is my nature and I wont be changing that anytime soon.

If I have learnt anything on this site, It has opened my eyes to the diversity in Ideas and I have come to understand that we all cant be the same; different backgrounds, experiences, life situations etc and so there will be conflict in ideas but we can all try to be civil to one another if we put our mind to it

Of course everyone is different, and no one has said otherwise. Outstrip defended herself just like you, cos what she said was bang out of order, but the girl kept coming back like a deranged banshee, so if I choose to get involve to get her to see the errors of her ways, its not up to anyone to butt in and tell me off, if anyone chooses not get involved and rather watch from the sidelines, kudos to them, as for me, I cannot see such and look the other way, its my time, I ain't complaining, I wasn't showing myself up,  not sure what she feels it was though, as she kept preening like a prized peacock that she was ready for an all-nighter, I wasn't having a ding dong with anyone. A grown a.r.s.e.d woman being told off and told to grow up, for insulting someone's Husband and Children, is not an idea of what a ding dong is, thank you very much.

chaircover:

Happy Easter 

P.S  what is your take on the topic?

Easter can wait, infact it should wait, I am vexed, ileke-idi stole the Royal invitation they sent me for Prince Willliams wedding and went instead of me I don't care that she is my pikin's future wife number 5, may God deflate that blomblom and big yansh of hers


@ Topic

Hmmm, Jenny nailed it with her post where she asked if the OP wasn't aware of this during their courtship, but saying this though, she is here t o seek solution, hmmm, all she can do is stop seeing her MIL as a rival and get closer to her and reassure the MIL she is not in the boy's life to steal him away from her.

///

Aiight, we cool, twas just me and her, well me holding her head up whilst she let it all out Me and my charitable self


And no, I don't want your own paparazzi invite, I want the one that was issued to me with the strict instruction to sit beside Prince Harry. . . he is going to marry some day too in the nearest future you know. . .what a lost opportunity for him to find out about me and my charming self and my potential as his future wifey Ileke-idi is in hot soup

Who is calling my name Happy Easter to all of you that celebrate it

i don't think you should be too concerned about your husband's relationship with his mum, you must have seen these things during your courtship. anything you do to stop it might be considered as an attempt to tear them apart, and might backfire. just make sure you & your husband have quality time which you enjoy alone. if his relationship with his mum doesnt take anything away from yours, and he isn't pushing you away, try to include yourself in their play. getting really close to the mother might help, if you can build a mother-daughter relationship with her you'd fit right in.

I think your husband is a spoiled by his family,so when he grew up, he is lack of independent living experence, he is still a baby, need mother and father. He is not a mature man.
On the other way, you may be a possessive woman, so you can't put up with anybody who wants to occupy your husband,even if the one is his mother. Haha……

@poster, I have been following this thread since, I was 23 when I got married (2010) I had one baby (2011) but now I am divorced. All this u r passing through, I equally passed through the same prob, but in my own case my mind wasn't there b/c that's how their relationship was b4 we got married, My MIL lives in lagos with us, we visit her every sundays and my hubby calls her more than 20 times a day but is non of my business. Initially, she wanted to come and leave with us which I told my hubby no, and that night he cried saying that I dt love his mum which is all lies, not knowing that I was trying to secure our marriage and also their love. Till when I gave birth, though she came b4 I gave birth, that's where our problems started. The only bad side of son and mumsy relationship is that the mum will always be directing tha son on what to do in your own home which is not good. My MIL went to the extent of telling my husband not be sleeping with me *sex* the day she was telling him this, I heard it and walked inside her room so that they will know that I heard all she said. We had issues till she left the house b/c my husband did exactly all she said,he even went to the extent of sleeping in the house help room, and the house help will sleep with his mom, and I will sleep alone in our matrimonial bed! Because of her advice, my hubby started going after different girls which really broke our home. I thank God for everything. My advice for you is to make sure you call your husband and his mum together, tell them your mind together in talk in a polite manner stating and pleading with your MIL. Telling her that you love your husband so much and you love your marriage too, you are not against their relationship , you like it but mama please don't give my husband an advice that will destroy my lovely home pls. Make sure your hubby is there. This will really save your home if not the battle is still in front b/c as I am talking to you now, your hubby values his extended family more than his nuclear family which is you. If any problem arises from his people, my dear, you are on your own! OYO. I am talking out of experience. Period.

Wow I remember this thread. ^^^^^ Sorry about the divorce. You are strong so this too shall pass. I don't believe in Jazz but some things Nigerian married men do sometimes in the name of loving their mothers just shock the heck out of me. I don't understand how his mother told him not to sleep with his wife and he actually moved into another room. I personally know that that woman will not spend one more day in my house. It will not pass that night that she made that statement to her son. She will not wonder who the head b1tch in charge is.

Mother in law should treat the wife like she does her son. Hug her too like she's a daughter to her.

I kiss my brothers and hug them. that's definitely not bad.I hope to extend the same affection to the women they marry. I believe in a big happy family

chaircover: Outstrip God help wives. These are mainly women who have built their lives round their sons. Maay of them are widows or divorcess or their husbands have many other wives and so dont have their time and so devote all their time and energy to raising these sons and then refuse to let go.

They dont have any other life but their sons so they immediately look at the daugher-in-law as the enemy who has come to steal away their precious son. They even compete with their own grandchildren.

Reminds me of a story I heard, whereby the MIL called the DIL on her wedding night and told her that she (the MIL) is the first wife o!
Can you imagine?

I know if a similar one. This was the sister in law though telling her brother's new wife the same. Poor sister in law signed her exit package by that one LOL

Please person who originally posted with this problem send or post your email. Im having the same problem & would like to talk but am uncomfortable talking on the forum

Yahaya: Hello, Lady, and all other ladies reading this.

DID YOU MARRY YOUR HUSBAND INTENDING TO SEPARATE A MOTHER AND HER SON ?.

They have been maternally married at least over twenty years, before you came into their lives.

There can always be an EX-WIFE, but never an EX-MOTHER.

SHAME ON YOU !!!

The only time you should be uncomfortable is when your husband is too close to YOUR mother, that intimate closeness is never condemned nor even mentioned in any holy book, and that is why so many mothers-in-law between ages 37 to 45 are now carrying babies that ACTUALLY and BIOLOGICALLY belong to their sons-in-law.

Forgive me, Oh Lord, I have swam in that river before, but You are my witness, my Lord, I did not ask for it, even if I didn't swim then, I would still have been drown anyway.

That is what always happen when an actively functional mother-in-law visits her daughter and her husband in a country where the distance is too far for her to go and fetch for her own outside the confinement of the daughter's home which is often like an imprisonment. Let us ask any of them that spent some times visiting in the USA.

But, to confess, It was sooooo sweet indeed then, I will do it again, if she ever has enough money for flight ticket again. The sweetest affair is the ugliest ones that both parties can NEVER publicly announce.

Greetings.

U Loco man

I'm no bible thumping looney but doesn't it say, "leave thy parents and cling to thy wife" or at least something to that nature. I'm close with my mom as well but for a 26 yr old man to be laid up in bed, hugging & pecking his mother, we'll that's just too much.

Really, grow the fck up.

Lying in bed, pecking and kissing his mother, a grown man. I find that hard to picture. Does your husband have a father or grew up in a single parent home? I don't think a man that had a father will be that physically close with his mum.
My advise to you is to try to get even more close to him physically. If he likes hugs a lot, keep on hugging him, pecking kissing him. Don't indulge him with the baby talk though, he needs to grow out of it.

Yes, you need counselling! On how to allow a man die by his own pehnis!
If it is possible you husband is having an affair with YOUR MOM. . . .What can you do to prevent it?
You need to develop a plan B!
Both of them may plan to ELIMINATE YOU!

Watch them both.
Install a hidden camera in your home or try to have some concrete proof before while you are 'slacking' with 'worry'!

Na wa o.A woman asks for advise n some of u are judging her.You are not God so u don't ave d rite 2 judge or insult her.Is that wat Nairaland is about?She has every rite 2 her feelings.If u don't ave any advise for her,then don't post anything.
FIONA:if u r a xtian seek Counsel in church bt don't confront ur hubby or his mom,rather get closer 2 him,go out on dates more often n visit ur married friends n also invite them over for lunch or dinner over d weekends.
Is ur MIL over 50 or still in her 40s? Cos she could be lonely.pls my dear make sure u r a praying wife o!It is very important.

In this world of perversion,a mum sleeping with his son is not farfetched.Keep your eyes Open!!!if there is anything to see,you ll see it in due time.

This case is too wierd for me,I don't know what else to say.

ifyalways:
I like the name Fiona . . .that's my imaginary baby girl's name.

@OP,action works better than voice/noise.

Don't let them shut u out,join them and stamp your position on your man.If I were u,i wudn't even talk.

When mama hugs your hubby,sweetly ask for your own or take her unawares,give her your own hug.

Join them in bed too,lie in between if possible. 

Some babies just don't wanna leave the bottle/pacifier for eba,u just have to mold the eba and shove it down their throat.

Get out often with your man . . .hang out with married mutual friends.It wud help give him the idea of what marriage is all abt.

Lol@shove it down their throat

First Is it their Culture? if yes, then adjust if No then Watch closely, a grown up in same bed with any woman and giggling is really not a good thing.


When you eventually get them red handed please remember us in Nairaland

babyme1:


That's the reason. Remember he was close to the mum before he maried you so don't try to tear them apart.
The only problem would have been if he ignores you but i didn't see that in your post.

If your husband were to be close to your own mother, will it also make you uncomfortable ?. My dear post, don't scatter the relationship between your husband and his mother; you just need to fall in line with them. whatever your mother in law does to you husband in your presence, do too.