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My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad - Travel - Nairaland

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My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by NDelta(m): 10:26pm On Apr 19, 2011
I don't know if this applies to other Nigerians abroad but personally i am overwhelmed by the volume of the demands for money from almost every one i know in Nigeria. I have sent sooo much money but they just never stop asking for money, i am tired and begging to loose sleep over this matter, this is just not fair on me, i have had to say NO to so many and YES to others because their demands seem genuine. Even people that i know as comfortable also ask. is this synonymous to other Nigerians abroad? or am i surrounded by opportunist?
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by werepeLeri: 10:47pm On Apr 19, 2011
you are so unfortunate. Others I know receive money in large sums from relatives in Nigeria, yours is the opposite. awwww. pele.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by obowunmi(m): 11:20pm On Apr 19, 2011
N.Delta:

I don't know if this applies to other Nigerians abroad but personally i am overwhelmed by the volume of the demands for money from almost every one i know in Nigeria. I have sent sooo much money but they just never stop asking for money, i am tired and begging to loose sleep over this matter, this is just not fair on me, i have had to say NO to so many and YES to others because their demands seem genuine. Even people that i know as comfortable also ask. is this synonymous to other Nigerians abroad? or am i surrounded by opportunist?

If you are a smart man you will 1. change your phone number 2. Be bold enough to say NO.


I have never sent anyone money, even if they are on their death bed --- what I've found is rather than use the money for what you sent it for, they start purchasing frivolous items so be careful if you admire your sanity.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by suxes2005(m): 12:44am On Apr 20, 2011
obowunmi:

If you are a smart man you will 1. change your phone number 2. Be bold enough to say NO.


I have never sent anyone money, even if they are on their death bed --- what I've found is rather than use the money for what you sent it for, they start purchasing frivolous items so be careful if you admire your sanity.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by TheCongo(m): 1:36am On Apr 20, 2011
obowunmi:

If you are a smart man you will 1. change your phone number 2. Be bold enough to say NO.


I have never sent anyone money, even if they are on their death bed --- what I've found is rather than use the money for what you sent it for, they start purchasing frivolous items so be careful if you admire your sanity.

It is just scaring to image I could be the one lying on that death bed and get ignore by someone just because the person live in the west.
You could also be the one on that death bed begging for someone to show mercy.

The day we will stop living for one another is the day we will cease to exist.

We can’t help everyone who ask for help but this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t help at all.
Each person should give according to his means. It is just a matter of finding the balance.

TheCongo

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Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by omega25red(m): 1:58am On Apr 20, 2011
N.Delta:

I don't know if this applies to other Nigerians abroad but personally i am overwhelmed by the volume of the demands for money from almost every one i know in Nigeria. I have sent sooo much money but they just never stop asking for money, i am tired and begging to loose sleep over this matter, this is just not fair on me, i have had to say NO to so many and YES to others because their demands seem genuine. Even people that i know as comfortable also ask. is this synonymous to other Nigerians abroad? or am i surrounded by opportunist?
i feel bad for you because you started something you cant finish. Like one of the other guys said change your number and limit the money gifts to your immediate family members even that self i would think twice.

i know this naija guy in nyc who is in your situation too. he sends money to his mother all the time and his grown azz younger brother also asks for money his grown azz daugther asks for money. i told him to change his number but he doesn't cause he cares very much for his mother. i always feel bad for him.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by NDelta(m): 4:18am On Apr 20, 2011
The situation is so alarming embarassed embarassed embarassed. I think i will go with the suggestion of changing my number and cutting off from Nigeria completely. Its just that in Africa we live to help one another unlike our white neighbours but Africans are known for taking advantage of a situation. i just have to cut them off completely
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by DisGuy: 9:58am On Apr 20, 2011
Nigerians abroad are so stingy

most immigrants Nigerians actually live for their families back home, it gets to a point where they actually feel overwhelmed and startthining when are they going to accomplish their own goals

then it can get a point where you brother start telling you, bross chinemeka don build mansion for village o, wetin you dey do, no be de same obodo oyinbo him sef dey? anyway i want the latest 3D ipad cool
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by justwise(m): 10:17am On Apr 20, 2011
Dis Guy:

Nigerians abroad are so stingy

most immigrants Nigerians actually live for their families back home, it gets to a point where they actually feel overwhelmed and startthining when are they going to accomplish their own goals

then it can get a point where you brother start telling you, bross chinemeka don build mansion for village o, wetin you dey do, no be de same obodo oyinbo him sef dey? anyway i want the latest 3D ipad cool

Sounds like something i can relate to grin grin grin
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by horny4u(f): 10:43am On Apr 20, 2011
To succeed in life you must have a resounding talent to say NO yet you must have equal talent to empathy and willingness to help. I place demands in two practical box : genuine need for help that will not damage the person growth e.g school fees and I want a receipt and a cheque will be written to the school then there is I want to start a business - hell no not with my money part of starting a business is finding the money yourself its self development money is manufactured from within an entreprenuer through knowledge on how to,borrow me your gstring dash me your customers are some of the demands I have turned down of recent some people ask for the impossible becos they think u re a wimp, bring out ur balls and show it to them covered screming NOs yet if you are unkind and ruthless u will not go far.
So find the balance.

1 Like

Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by omega25red(m): 1:42pm On Apr 20, 2011
i feel bad that i dont really know my extended family members back home but im also happy that i dont really know them to because this type of situation would have caused problems for us. I ran into a so called friend from high school over yahoo chat and withing 20 minutes of haven not spoken for about 13 years he was already asking me for money. I was like no i work and pay my own bills here and money doesn't grow on trees. He was like but you are better off than i am i was like no working every day and being caught in a system of continous bills is not necessarily better off. Anyway i killed the chat and i blocked him both on yahoo and FB lucky for me he didn't get my phone number yet. These are the types of things you have to do.
Another guy wanted my number off the bat i was like what the hell he called me immediately and we were catching up on stuff before i knew it he started asking how i could help him migrate out of Nigeria so i told him my story of how i am where im at now and i referred him here to NL to ask questions. One day i received a text of how he is in a jam and he needed 5k. I went to FB unfriended him and lost his number.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by obowunmi(m): 3:40pm On Apr 20, 2011
Dis Guy:

bross chinemeka don build mansion for village o, wetin you dey do, no be de same obodo oyinbo him sef dey? anyway i want the latest 3D ipad  cool


Thats the point I was trying to make. Thanks for being articulate --- people I know exaggerate their problems only to be solely dependent because a particular family member is living abroad and this is extremely unfair. To those in Nigeria, even those abroad are STRUGGLING ---- either with no jobs or working three, four low wage jobs.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by obowunmi(m): 3:42pm On Apr 20, 2011
omega25red:

i fell bad that i dont really know my extended family members back home but im also happy that i dont really know them to because this type of situation would have caused problems for us. I ran into a so called friend from high school over yahoo chat and withing 20 minutes of haven not spoken for about 13 years he was already asking me for money. I was like no i work and pay my own bills here and money doesn't grow on trees. He was like but you are better off than i am i was like no working every day and being caught in a system of continous bills is not necessarily better off. Anyway i killed the chat and i blocked him both on yahoo and FB lucky for me he didn't get my phone number yet. These are the types of things you have to do.
Another guy wanted my number off the bat i was like what the hell he called me immediately and we were catching up on stuff before i knew it he started asking how i could help him migrate out of Nigeria so i told him my story of how i am where im at now and i referred him here to NL to ask questions. One day i received a text of how he is in a jam and he needed 5k. I went to FB unfriended him and lost his number.

Good for you! You're my type of friend.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by jaybee3(m): 3:47pm On Apr 20, 2011
People generally get comfortable with asking once their first,second,third request doesn't get rebuffed.
Dude you gotta man up. These people will always survive regardless of you sending money or not. Yours is just an addition as Most Nigerian back home are built to survive regardless of whatever condition they find themselves in.

Don't be a mugu for people back home. At the end of the day you aren't plucking money from the tree so think twice and act wisely

1 Like

Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by JeSoul(f): 4:38pm On Apr 20, 2011
@omega25red, correct guy lol.

jay bee:

People generally get comfortable with asking once their first,second,third request doesn't get rebuffed.

Dude you gotta man up. These people will always survive regardless of you sending money or not. Yours is just an addition as Most Nigerian back home are built to survive regardless of whatever condition they find themselves in.

Don't be a mugu for people back home. At the end of the day you aren't plucking money from the tree so think twice and act wisely
@N.Delta, please re-read this post at least 100 times until it is engrained in you. People have given you good advice here, you better follow it before its too late.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by TheCongo(m): 11:47pm On Apr 20, 2011
Dis Guy:


then it can get a point where you brother start telling you, bross chinemeka don build mansion for village o, wetin you dey do, no be de same obodo oyinbo him sef dey? anyway i want the latest 3D ipad  cool



Can someone translate the part in bold please ?
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by omega25red(m): 12:13am On Apr 21, 2011
TheCongo:

Can someone translate the part in bold please ?
it says someone else built a mansion in their home town while questioning what your are doiing abroad and oh by the way can i get an ipad
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by DamiKhojie(m): 6:42pm On Apr 21, 2011
My dad always said that it was the people who didn't ask for it that needed it the most.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by iz2much: 6:44pm On Apr 21, 2011
its everywhere bro!
even a class mate of mine i never seen for years now call me asking for money despite the face he knows am out here studying. many more. gossshhhh
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by eghost247(m): 6:44pm On Apr 21, 2011
Limit your gifts and money to your Immediate Family
Peace

1 Like

Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by NDelta(m): 6:48pm On Apr 21, 2011
Dis Guy:

Nigerians abroad are so stingy

most immigrants Nigerians actually live for their families back home, it gets to a point where they actually feel overwhelmed and startthining when are they going to accomplish their own goals

then it can get a point where you brother start telling you, bross chinemeka don build mansion for village o, wetin you dey do, no be de same obodo oyinbo him sef dey? anyway i want the latest 3D ipad cool



after telling you about building house then demands will follow grin grin grin grin grin grin Men the whole issue just tire me. which kin work i de do? there was this day i sent some money home that same evening i got a text from a different person asking for money then i knew its time for me to do something about the situation.  embarassed
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by jerryben12: 6:55pm On Apr 21, 2011
It is a good thing to give but learn to give wisely.

1 Like

Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Odunnu: 7:08pm On Apr 21, 2011
Your OP sounds so much like the kinda post one Jayon guy posted before I became a NLndr. He ended up regretting it.
Are you a rebirthd Jayon?
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Princek12(m): 7:10pm On Apr 21, 2011
werepeLeri:

you are so unfortunate. Others I know receive money in large sums from relatives in Nigeria, yours is the opposite. awwww. pele.


Why it may be true that many people abroad receive money from relatives in Nigeria, the reverse is usually the case--more diaspora Nigerians send back home than vice versa. The wire transfer reports suggest to.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Hanoobaba(m): 7:13pm On Apr 21, 2011
Well, its different strokes for different folks. Personally, I hate asking begging for anything, be it money or gadgets. Even to ask from my father is a big problem at times except when I find myself in a tight corner. It just surprises me that immediately some folks get to know that you are in a comfortable position, they feel God has sent you to them to ease them off their burden. As if you don't have your own life to leave. Guy you better wise up. If only you could see the hearts of the peeps requesting from you. Do your best. You can't please everybody.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by guccimilan(m): 7:23pm On Apr 21, 2011
The ealier u stop the better, cos they cant stop asking, and they will still judge u wen u come back with nothing.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by armyofone: 7:33pm On Apr 21, 2011
aha! a serious case of we africans. my coursemate from east african has the same problem. his wife and 2 kids are always demanding money. this man works like a horse all the time. imagine 18 cr hrs and 20 hrs work!! he is trying to complete a home, care for his parents and caring for the wife and children. he always complain of his wifey constant demand. today it is money for wrappers, blouse, shoes etc. it is unending  grin the guy blocked her on yahoo chat and disconnected his phone  grin. his wife contacted the admission office and the adm office contacted international students office  grin grin grin grin just to get a hold of him for money grin

he was so mad and promised to deal with her grin when he is back home.
he envy me so i told him not to think it that we are in the same shoe  grin
honestly, it is not a funny matter!
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by dayokanu(m): 7:36pm On Apr 21, 2011
armyofone:

aha! a serious case of we africans. my coursemate from east african has the same problem. his wife and 2 kids are always demanding money. this man works like a horse all the time. imagine 18 cr hrs and 20 hrs work!! he is trying to complete a home, care for his parents and caring for the wife and children. he always complain of his wifey constant demand. today it is money for wrappers, blouse, shoes etc. it is unending grin the guy blocked her on yahoo chat and disconnected his phone grin. his wife contacted the admission office and the adm office contacted international students office grin grin grin grin just to get a hold of him for money grin

he was so mad and promised to deal with her grin when he is back home.
he envy me so i told him not to think it that we are in the same shoe grin
honestly, it is not a funny matter!

Hey honey, WHy are you hardly online at night? I have been waiting to chat with you on IM for a while

1 Like

Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by armyofone: 7:41pm On Apr 21, 2011
time wey i go take dey read my book or go make cool $$ make i dey take am chat eh? na you dey pay my tuition, gerraway  grin grin tongue
how are ya  tongue
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by MissEZ(f): 7:47pm On Apr 21, 2011
I think you need to learn to strike a balance. Lets all remember that God is the one that provided the opportunity for us to be where we are. Dude learn to say no, its not everyone you send money to. At the same time i dont encourage you to cut off everyone, that is just extreme. Learn to balance the two.

My irritation with people living outside naija is that most times we are not honest about the way things are really here, let them know its not easy and stand your ground when you cannot help out. I as a person will never ever think twice of helping someone in need because God has used others to bless me at some point in time in my life, at the same time you have to choose wisely who to help and who to say no to. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

For those of you saying he should cut everyone off, i understand where your coming from, but no man is an island. Try to help people when you can, not just family, even strangers. Remember that only God knows what tomorrow brings. This yankee that we are thinking is stable and is our everything, God forbid, but what if some natural disaster or some kinda war breaks out, then what next? You think it is impossible, look at Japan and other countries.

NA GOD DE BLESS MAN. HELP WHEN YOU CAN. and yes i stay in the west so i understand where the poster is coming from.

1 Like

Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by Tcrack(m): 8:04pm On Apr 21, 2011
bros, where is the demand coming from? if its not from your wife, your children or your aged parents,[b] YOU HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME IF YOU LOSE SLEEP OVER IT[/b]. me i dont even call not to talk of send money.anyone that wants to talk to me knows my number, let him call. if you flash, once i see say na naija number, i wont even think about it. anybody that wants money know the way to muritala muhammed airport. come here and make your own.
Re: My Biggest Challenge As A Nigerian Living Abroad by NDelta(m): 8:04pm On Apr 21, 2011
@ omega25red. Wow you are one hard guy lol. I have always decieved my self by wanting to be good.

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