i need a candid advice i got my fiance pregnant though we have been engaged for a year now but due to financial problems i am experiencing at the moment i couldnt go on with the traditional wedding as its required by the Ibo culture i am at a crossroad now i dont wanna terminate the pregnancy and at the same time i dont have the money to do the necessary things like the dowry and going to the village for the traditional wedding which will cost me alot i am Yoruba and i really need a good advice from someone with a good experience on this probably an ibo man
Thanks

Dont worry poster.There is nothing to worry about, Pls do not get rid of the baby,no matter what people say.The both of you are engaged,and am sure God will soon provide you money so that u can carry on with the wedding rites

Dont worry poster.There is nothing to worry about, Pls do not get rid of the baby,no matter what people say.The both of you are engaged,and am sure God will soon provide you money so that u can carry on with the wedding rites

Dont worry poster.There is nothing to worry about, Pls do not get rid of the baby,no matter what people say.The both of you are engaged,and am sure God will soon provide you money so that u can carry on with the wedding rites

I think you should let your in-laws know your plight, stating what you genuinely have in mind if you were financially okay. I'm sure they would reason along with you, though it might not be that easy. I don't know much about the Igbo tradition, I would have suggested that you keep the pregnancy, manage with the little you have to cater for the mother, at least to keep body and soul together; who knows, things might and would definitely take a good turn and you would be able to perform the normal rite to marrying the mother of your child and the supposedly love of your life. Goodluck!

Thanks Abbycrown according the igbo its seen as a shameful act to impregnate a lady without performing the normal rites i really feel sad that this is happening i love the girl so much and i wouldnt want this to come on her she is from a town close to Orlu in Imo state, anyways i hope to hear more views on this
thanks

Would your question be any different if you had a Bajuni fiance?

This very Igbo girl, I think you deserve. Its a match made in hail, I mean hailvin. Good luck

^^^and wat,pray tell has this got to do with the topic,by the by i think she's pretty,nothing wrong with her,so quit hating

Mrs.Chima:

Would your question be any different if you had a Bajuni fiance?

Didn't you read the post right before yours, where he answered your question even before you asked it

Different cultures have different requirements.

mcheewww!! Sum peepz jst dnt knw when 2 be serious!! @poster u story's a sad 1. Bt i ll jst advice u to let d gurlz parents knw wats on ground, i guarantee u they ll have a change of heart! They cld even offer her to u 4 free and help owt wif other arrangements, cos i guarrante u no ibo family wants to be shamed,

mcheewww!! Sum peepz jst dnt knw when 2 be serious!! @poster u story's a sad 1. Bt i ll jst advice u to let d gurlz parents knw wats on ground, i guarantee u they ll have a change of heart! They cld even offer her to u 4 free and help owt wif other arrangements, cos i guarrante u no ibo family wants to be shamed,

I don't get it, have you heard bout birth control, pull off or @least condom since your aren't ready

@OP, pls DO NOT try to get rid of de pregnancy, for ur sake & hers. Why kill your child? U complain about lack of finance for traditional wedding and all that. In Igbo culture, if a woman is traditionally married, SHE IS CONSIDERED A MARRIED WOMAN. The traditional marriage takes 2 forms: either u want de whole ceremony of calling guests, buying refreshments et all OR you go for its substitute. You can do it quietly in money terms- no guests, no party. It will be between you & your folks), the parents and the elders of her family. It is much cheaper & done to save costs, or in the event of the groom's unavailability i.e.pressure of work esp if he is outside de country. So instead of staying just like that, talk to the girl's parents and tell them the situation on ground. I'm sure they will want to speed up everything even more than u (Igbo has pride) so as not to be shamed. When that has been done, she can have her baby in the eyes of all as a married woman. U can plan for de white wedding later.

Thanks wislet,andy and the rest of you i still hope to hear more of your advices

Bros u are not the first that make such mistake.But one thing l ill warn u is never terminate the pregnancy no matter what.Base on the reliable source l had that in ORLU their traditions are a little bit costly but that does't mean u must do all the list.I pray let the family be an understandable type and see reason with u as your financial problems.They may even asist u in other to cover the shame.But bros oo,does it mean there is no condom in your area u should have avoid this mess untill u are ready.Since it have happen relax and expect your new born baby.

its not necessary to marry only because you people have a baby.

a baby brings you people more closer than a marriage could do.

do not stress yourself. you are just bringing problems to yourself. just wait times will change and you and your girl will have the money for that.

Before i comment, i would like to correct you, it's Igbo and not Ibo. I don't know why you guys see the right spelling and decide to spell and pronounce it differently and it even pains me more when Igbos try to form and also spell and pronounce it as you did. In my land, we do IQ test before we give our girls out especially to non-Igbos, and that may be the first test - to spell and pronounce IGBO!

Now to the issue at hand, no excuse here, bros you go pay and for putting her in a family way before bride price, you will be required to do about 100 frog jumps! No Igbo family wants to be an object of ridicule, so be fast in your preparation and go take care of the dowry!