I've been dating this guy since July last year, but by October, I knew something was wrong. He was no longer calling or texting as before and I rarely saw him though we live in the same axis of town. By November I made up my mind to end it and successfully did by the end of December when I traveled out of town. On my return, I made it clear to him I was no longer interested and wanted to start the year on a clean slate. He got the message and stopped calling or seeing me. Sometime in February, he started calling again and asked to see me which I obliged him. He came practically on his knees promising heaven and earth. I also made my terms clear to him. I didn't however see much change; he dissappeared and reappeared at will and always gave the excuse that he was really busy. I felt his excuses were not tenable. Somehow, I just felt uneasy and uncomfortable around him. I couldn't put my finger on it.

On Wednesday, he visited me and used my laptop. When I got home in the evening and wanted to check my mails before retiring, as i opened the facebook home page, his page came up. This is not the first time this has happened and I would ordinarily have signed him out as I know he's not a techie person. But I just checked his messages and the sent items in particular, and lo and behold, there was a message he sent to a friend of his on the 5th of this month telling him he had had his traditional marriage in March and his white wedding was coming up in May. I sat in stunned silence and utter disbelief.

The issue is that I didn't hold a gun to his head. I had been uncomfortable with him for a while and behaved really badly to him when I was in that state of mind. So I don't understand why he kept hanging around me when it was not as if he was getting anything from me, not money, not sex, I don't have time to cook for anybody, so I'm completely baffled that he is getting married and instead of focussing on his upcoming nuptials, he was still finding the time for me. I really I'm just trying to wrap my head around the enigma called men. And they say that women are complicated. Really

190:

Dat Dude cant be a Nigerian guy ** he would too dull to do such **

we dont dissapoint our ladies, wen we promise them marriage

we marry them, and BTW [b]maybe its just a set-up to see your reaction[/b]Nigerian bois are the smartest in the world as we know today

reconcile with him and ask him to explain what u saw ( then judge from there )

subscribing to d bolded part.


But, i sti hv doubts tho. Just try and discuss with him wot u hv found out and see wot he has got to say.

Dont even let him knw you know he's married.
Keep moving on,its the best option now.

My dear its the rubbish people see these days, i have a friend after watching her boyfriends wedding on television . He appeared three weeks later and hid his ring in his pocket. When she confronted he denied until she told him she watched his wedding on television , then he admitted he was married and brought the ring out of his pocket.

@iv4real

Which nollywood movie are u refering to ?

Think I ve watched the movie, Lol

@ seun its not a nollywood movie. I don't knw if such has been acted in a nollywood movie, i am not up to date on nollywood movies. But this happened for real to a girlfriend of mine.

demistress:

I really I'm just trying to wrap my head around the enigma called men. And they say that women are complicated. Really

iv4real:

My dear its the rubbish people see these days, i have a friend after watching her boyfriends wedding on television . He appeared three weeks later and hid his ring in his pocket. When she confronted he denied until she told him she watched his wedding on television , then he admitted he was married and brought the ring out of his pocket.

You ladies should go and sit down jor. Women are the ones fond of doing such. This is just an exception. Why lead a guy on when you clearly have no interest in him other than to waste his time. If you had any real interest in him, he could never have hidden such from you.

iv4real:

@ seun its not a nollywood movie. I don't knw if such has been acted in a nollywood movie, i am not up to date on nollywood movies. But this happened for real to a girlfriend of mine.

I think I have watched the movie before. Was it Nolly-wood or yoruba-wood.

Yes, I agree it was a very nice script.

@poster
I honestly feel for you

I would have said you should play along with him and pretend as if you don't know anything,but to what avail?

don't waste your time,your instincts were right,just get him out of your life and move on
don't let him waste another second of your life.
he's so not worth it

There are a lot of useless fellows like him out there,
some have reasons for doing it (like papers)
many don't ( just selfish reasons)
don't even bother to look for one!

tell him to his face what a useless self-servicer he is and walk him out of your life
good luck

toyemz:

@poster
I honestly feel for you

I would have said you should play along with him and pretend as if you don't know anything,but to what avail?

don't waste your time,your instincts were right,just get him out of your life and move on
don't let him waste another second of your life.
he's so not worth it

There are a lot of useless fellows like him out there,
some have reasons for doing it (like papers)
many don't ( just selfish reasons)
don't even bother to look for one!

tell him to his face what a useless self-servicer he is and walk him out of your life
good luck

Why are you so bitter. It is no big deal.

@ystranger

Why are you so bitter. It is no big deal.

of course now it is no big do
its either that you belong in that class or that its hasnt happened to any of your sisters yet( i hope it never does)
and of course it is no big do because you are a man
if the shoe was on the other foot now
yawa go gas!

Ystranger:

Why are you so bitter. It is no big deal.

Are you okay?

@op, in as much as ur write-up looks scripted; like some movie synopsis, I wouldn't doubt it can't happen. Anyway, my advice is you confront him and let him out of your life.

@op are u rili sure dis dude is a 9gerian? Cos 9ja boiz aint dat dull oh! He had sumtin to hide. Nd he was checking his fb on ur laptop? Nahhhhhh, dat boi is definately frm TOGO,BENIN,CHAD or maybe EQ GUINEA,

^^^^

I think he is definitely Nigerian
with a very selfish agenda!!

Maximip:

You ladies should go and sit down jor. Women are the ones fond of doing such. This is just an exception. Why lead a guy on when you clearly have no interest in him other than to waste his time. If you had any real interest in him, he could never have hidden such from you.

True talk man, no mind dem jare!

andy1:

@op are u rili sure dis dude is a 9gerian? Cos 9ja boiz aint dat dull oh! He had sumtin to hide. Nd he was checking his fb on your laptop? Nahhhhhh, dat boi is definately frm TOGO,BENIN,CHAD or maybe EQ GUINEA,

Hahahahahahaha. . . .

@ OP, now you know: KEEP it MOVING --- don't look back and find another man. God bless you as you do. Keep it moving!

@ Maximip

sorry I've just seen this:

You ladies should go and sit down jor. Women are the ones fond of doing such. This is just an exception. Why lead a guy on when you clearly have no interest in him other than to waste his time. If you had any real interest in him, he could never have hidden such from you

are you really serious?
maybe the few women you have seen have be the exception
but this selfish altitude is something that many Nigerian men in the western world have adopted as their mod-us operandi for survival in the western!
personally if you haven't noticed it,it just means that you have endorsed this evil trait as being a good thing or you're simply in denial.
The guy had an agenda,sooner or later he would have being found out.Remember God does not sleep!!

@OP

You didn't read that correctly, the dude said his brother had a traditional wedding but not him. BTW, did you save a screenshot of the messages, because dude will deny again, LMAO. '

Sorry though.

@ toyemz , its not only Nigerian men in western countries that does such, the ones in Nigeria are even worse. These days girls have 2 double check, investigate ,even pay private investigator to make sure the man they are dating is not married. Especially the ones that that live in different cities with their wives. I am sure if the poster confronts the guy he will deny. Even swear that he is not married.

iv4real:

@ toyemz , its not only Nigerian men in western countries that does such, the ones in Nigeria are even worse. These days girls have 2 double check, investigate ,even pay private investigator to make sure the man they are dating is not married. Especially the ones that that live in different cities with their wives. I am sure if the poster confronts the guy he will deny. Even swear that he is not married.

Same goes to girls that has boyfriends and deny that they'r single.

u said girls that have boyfriends and not married women. we are talking of married men .So there is a big difference.

Oh, Oh, Oh!

So, U now agreed that girls are the worst pretence interms of friendship, but if asked literally, U would deny it, innit?

FYI, those girls that dates married men a.k.a "SUGAR DADDIES" knows that they are married but, stil yet proceeded cos, they knows what they wanted out of the friendship so, y'all should tell all these bullshits to the birds!

iv4real:

@ toyemz , its not only Nigerian men in western countries that does such, the ones in Nigeria are even worse. These days girls have 2 double check, investigate ,even pay private investigator to make sure the man they are dating is not married. Especially the ones that that live in different cities with their wives. I am sure if the poster confronts the guy he will deny. Even swear that he is not married.

same goes 4 d ladies d guys also have a do a double check b4 making any commitment, ladies r also guilty of dis crime so ya'll shld stop acting lyke u innocent!!

Ranoscky:

Oh, Oh, Oh!

So, U now agreed that girls are the worst pretence interms of friendship, but if asked literally, U would deny it, innit?

FYI, those girls that dates married men a.k.a "SUGAR DADDIES" knows that they are married but, stil yet proceeded cos, they knows what they wanted out of the friendship so, y'all should tell all these bullshits to the birds!

tell em abeg,

@Ranoscky( hope you're good?)

FYI, those girls that dates married men a.k.a "SUGAR DADDIES" knows that they are married but, stil yet proceeded cos, they knows what they wanted out of the friendship so, y'all should tell all these bullshits to the birds!

Totally agree with you on this input.only snag is we are not talking about the 'sugar daddy/mummy' level. we are talking about a generational age of 31-40 years.
men that( because they have an agenda )would swear by heaven and earth that they are not married.many men who have been caught out by this lie now admit that they have 'baby mothers' but not wives.

on the other hand,there's a very low percentage of girls who will be married and would lie to a guy that they are not,just for them to turn round and tell their current bfs that they are interested in marriage,even if they have an agenda
that's the whole point here

@Andy1

same goes 4 d ladies d guys also have a do a double check b4 making any commitment, ladies r also guilty of dis crime so ya'll shld stop acting lyke u innocent!!

what crime? claiming to be single while they are actually married?
Having two legal husbands in different towns?
Lying to the their girlfriends about it all kos they have some hidden motive?
My brother, all that is a man's world
women haven't caught up with that wickedness yet oh

toyemz:

@Andy1

what crime? claiming to be single while they are actually married?
Having two legal husbands in different towns?
Lying to the their girlfriends about it all kos they have some hidden motive?
My brother, all that is a man's world
women haven't caught up with that wickedness yet oh

@toyemz, ok guilty as charged. ladies mite nt keep 2 husbands @ a tyme bt dey do date young guys outside even after they r married with d lie dat dey r still single. So i ll say this whole cheating episode thingyy is 50-50.

OP, some people desire what they aren't getting, and despise what they do have. It's a stupid and self-destructive addiction that leads a long trail to nowhere.

toyemz:

@Ranoscky( hope you're good?)


Totally agree with you on this input.only snag is we are not talking about the 'sugar daddy/mummy' level. we are talking about a generational age of 31-40 years.
men that( because they have an agenda )would swear by heaven and earth that they are not married.many men who have been caught out by this lie now admit that they have 'baby mothers' but not wives.

on the other hand,[b]there's a very low percentage of girls who will be married and would lie to a guy that they are not,[/b]just for them to turn round and tell their current bfs that they are interested in marriage,even if they have an agenda
that's the whole point here

Am cool, girl. U?

Ya, I agree on the embolded line above. But, some girls in here made it seem as if men ONLY are the ones that plays such game!

@ poster
i hope you realize that you are a meanhearted woman. just reading your post exposes your wickedness. you obliged him to come back to you promising heaven and earth.you dont sex him,you dont cook,you dont help out financialy.but you expect a guy to be honest with you?

give me a break. you should just forget about romantic relationships.keep your selfish @ss to yourself. buy dildos and vibrators.in fact move to some remote island where you can enjoy yourself.

i am out of here.