I started seeing this course-mate of mine 3 months ago. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend in the real sense of the word, but we were quite close. We are both in our final year and we didn't really know each other much all these years but I've always noticed and admired him over the years. Somehow, through a twist of fate we became close and i started developing real feelings for him.This year, our intimacy went to a whole new level and we started having sex and regularly too. I knew we couldn't be in the stereotypical relationship, but we were lovers. Even though i wanted much more than that, but i was content with the way things were and i didn't want it to change. There wasn't any form of commitment from both parties. . .which was still okay. . . I should mention that I'm 3 years older than him even though i don't know if he knows it. This is actually my inhibition in getting too serious with him. . .i know it can never work, that there can never be a happily ever after end to that one, but i fell in love.

Yesterday, while we were in school, we were together as we always and there wasn't any hint that anything was amiss. . much later in the day, i called him to ask him if he wanted to spend the night at my place, but he didn't take the call. i sent him a text, he didn't reply. I assumed nothing.

Today, i was reading through status updates on face book, and i saw the one he posted last night ""months of meaningless sex , worthless relationships, finally I'm in love n I'm happy" i can't describe how hurt i felt.

^^^^ not to me it wasn't, it wasn't meaningless neither was it for nothing!

Amya:



I started seeing this course-mate of mine 3 months ago. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend in the real sense of the word, but we were quite close. We are both in our final year and we didn't really know each other much all these years but I've always noticed and admired him over the years. Somehow, through a twist of fate we became close and i started developing real feelings for him.This year, our intimacy went to a whole new level and we started having sex and regularly too. I knew we couldn't be in the stereotypical relationship, but we were lovers. Even though i wanted much more than that, but i was content with the way things were and i didn't want it to change. There wasn't any form of commitment from both parties. . .which was still okay. . . I should mention that I'm 3 years older than him even though i don't know if he knows it. This is actually my inhibition in getting too serious with him. . .i know it can never work, that there can never be a happily ever after end to that one, but i fell in love.

Yesterday, while we were in school, we were together as we always and there wasn't any hint that anything was amiss. . much later in the day, i called him to ask him if he wanted to spend the night at my place, but he didn't take the call. i sent him a text, he didn't reply. I assumed nothing.

Today, i was reading through status updates on face book, and i saw the one he posted last night ""months of meaningless sex , worthless relationships, finally I'm in love n I'm happy" i can't describe how hurt i felt.

How do you think he would have felt if the table was turned?
You guys had fun while it lasted and it appears the only grievance is that he moved on before you did so i suggest you just do the same.
Life shouldn't be this hard

I'm not a kid 190. . . Everything i did, i consented to. I knew there was no future in it before i started. . . I was only hurt by how it ended. why face book? because he knew I'd probably see it?
I knew a day like this would come, but 'I'd rather it wasn't this soon. He didn't play me. He never made any promises, neither did i.

jay bee:

How do you think he would have felt if the table was turned?
You guys had fun while it lasted and it appears the only grievance is that he moved on before you did so i suggest you just do the same.
Life shouldn't be this hard

A subtle withdrawal always does the trick. . .not something this abrupt. . .at least that's what i would do.

It is cruel indeed but he broke before you broke and both of you were expecting this to happen.
You fall in love? So why you kept the relation so "easy" and relaxed? Why you did not express the will to move to a deeper level?
You answered: Because you knew it can never work, so no  complain. I know is hard but time will let you know is better this way.

Facebook: You may be mature but surely he is not. Nowadays people are not brave enough to face the problem by speaking in front of others.

Amya:


A subtle withdrawal always does the trick. . .not something this abrupt. . .at least that's what i would do.

And you honestly believe a subtle withdrawal wouldn't bring about any hurt feelings?
Common gyal, it wasn't a one night stand. You guys were involved and no matter how subtle the break-up maybe, either of you would have still felt some sort of hurt.

Just look at the bright side, he saved you the pain of being labelled a heartbreaker.

190:

^Then what did u gain? sex or Blackberry

why did u choose to make yourself cheap before that dude

That statement was a complete and utter Insult, you dont have to feel bad but sorry for yourself

Maybe you learnt your lesson anyways~

are u kidding or u really meant all this?

@op, i understand ow u r feeling but i will advise u not to dwell on it for too long. u saw it coming anyway cos like u said, u never tot it was for real but the way he went about it was bad and that's why u r hurt. u just have to move on cos life is too short to dwell on disappointments like this. hope u find someone dat will really care abt u and love u for who u are.

all da best.

jay bee:

And you honestly believe a subtle withdrawal wouldn't bring about any hurt feelings?
Common gyal, it wasn't a one night stand. You guys where involved and no matter how subtle the break-up maybe, either of you would have still felt some sort of hurt.

Just look at the bright side, he saved you the pain of being labelled a heartbreaker.

you make so much sense!

@op
Looking at ur profile pix, i must say that guy enjoyed correct "meat"; chei   sometimes i wonder how i miss out on such generousity- NSA relationships offer.
Anyway, my advise is that you disconnect from the guy, whilst I cannot guarantee that I am a mtach for him in every areas I can surely help you get over both the ignominy of finding out on FB and the short term Intimacy requirements.

why are majority of Nigerians heartless. she is hurt and came here for support and all she gets its load of stupid comments from retards

Asides d fact that u were xpectng it,u gave urself away so cheaply,so y feel hurt?jst dust urself n move on wt ur life.he was smarter dan u.

intelligen:

Asides d fact that u were xpectng it,u gave urself away so cheaply,so y feel hurt?jst dust urself n move on wt your life.he was smarter dan u.

If she was a guy you wouldnt call her cheap! Cant some of you read it was mutual!!!

I dont see anything smart about this guy infact he is seriously silly.  Why people need to write such nonsense on their facebook is beyond me.

Why did he need to advertise he had been having meaningless sex?

To the poster Im sure its so hard to carry on right now but it will get better.  He obviously is a useless person if he doesnt have the guts to tell you to your face that he has moved on.  And he really isnt worth your time or tears.  I actually pity this new person he is in love with because he was obviously seeing you both at the same time.

Cheer up dearyou had a lucky escape

Amya:

 

I started seeing this course-mate of mine 3 months ago. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend in the real sense of the word, but we were quite close. We are both in our final year and we didn't really know each other much all these years but I've always noticed and admired him over the years. Somehow, through a twist of fate we became close and i started developing real feelings for him.This year, our intimacy went to a whole new level and we started having sex and regularly too. I knew we couldn't be in the stereotypical relationship, but we were lovers. Even though i wanted much more than that, but i was content with the way things were and i didn't want it to change. There wasn't any form of commitment from both parties. . .which was still okay. . . I should mention that I'm 3 years older than him even though i don't know if he knows it. This is actually my inhibition in getting too serious with him. . .i know it can never work, that there can never be a happily ever after end to that one, but i fell in love.

Yesterday, while we were in school, we were together as we always and there wasn't any hint that anything was amiss. . much later in the day, i called him to ask  him if he wanted to spend the night at my place, but he didn't take the call. i sent him a text, he didn't reply. I assumed nothing.

Today, i was reading through status updates on face book, and i saw the one he posted last night ""months of meaningless sex , worthless relationships, finally I'm in love n I'm happy" i can't describe how hurt i felt.

Ouch! That must have really hurt. 

Well, he really can't be blamed. One expresses opinion/state of mind/mood via fb status and, that's exactly what he did. He just should have been decent enough to respect you by using another medium instead of fb where you are most likely to come across it.
But then again, respect isn't demanded.

@op
Looking at your profile pix, i must say that guy enjoyed correct "meat"; chei   sometimes i wonder how i miss out on such generousity- NSA relationships offer.
Anyway, my advise is that you disconnect from the guy, whilst I cannot guarantee that I am a mtach for him in every areas I can surely help you get over both the ignominy of finding out on FB and the short term Intimacy requirements.

How generous of you! 

@ poster Judging from your pics he's actually the loser in this situation. A babe like you can't normally cross the road without a few heads twisting and whistling from countless number of men. You both had fun while it lasted, but for him to break up like dis shows that his shallow, insecure and immature, just be yourself and dump him in the ashes of the past and move ahead. Can I have your number

amya
let me give u a trial

I'd like to believe these sugar-coated lines y'all are giving the poster is to massage her feminine pride because I don't see how anyone can really blame the dude over anything.

for him to break up like dis shows that his shallow, insecure and immature

It can't be said for certain that the dude has finally moved on or posted that, with the sole intent of hurting her. It just happened yesterday, he may come over for a hot round of ___ later today, so chill.  
And no, insecurity has nothing to do with this.

The only thing anyone can blame the guy for is that he is a coward and a cheat. And not a cheat with the poster but whoever his new girlfriend/boyfriend is. Because it seems he was already seeing this new person while sleeping with his current hook up.

Pardon me if I no longer understand relationships anymore.

Missy ★ B:


How generous of you!  

Hehehe, I hope the poster is equally appreciative

LadyT:



The only thing anyone can blame the guy for is that he is a coward and a cheat. And not a cheat with the poster but whoever his new girlfriend/boyfriend is. Because it seems he was already seeing this new person while sleeping with his current hook up.

Pardon me if I no longer understand relationships anymore.

Mbah!!! How is the guy a shit cheat? They had an arrangement from which they both mutually benefited. She wasd getting "caned" and he was happy to do the caning without incurring the usual monetary and emotional cost of a conventional relationship. The poster admitted that love was never part of this arrangement, at the end of the day which man would say no to free "bhanging"? esp when the chic is as "endowed" as our poster.

@op. I feel ur pain gurl. Ur story is rili a sad 1. Bt at d point in which u fell in love with dis guy u wld have jst let him knw. Maybe dis wldnt have happened, bt judgeing by ur pixx. I wld say dat dude is rili a sour looser,

LadyT:



The only thing anyone can blame the guy for is that he is a coward and a cheat.  [b]And not a cheat with the poster but whoever his new girlfriend/boyfriend is.  Because it seems he was already seeing this new person while sleeping with his current hook up.[/b]Pardon me if I no longer understand relationships anymore.

Shebi the part in bold is based on assumption? Isn't it also possible that, at some point, the new girl (if there's actually any) was informed about the poster? That rules out the issue of him being a cheat.
Coward? I wouldn't exactly call him that. Fear of not being tempted by the poster's tears and plea, and not weakness, could be the reason he chose fb as the medium to convey the message instead of a face-to-face discourse.

@missy b,
      The guy is highly insecure, he couldn't even tell her to her face that the sex was meaningless, MEANINGLESS!!! How could he be pouring hot akamu into that extremely hot babe and at the end of the day turns around to call it meaningless(mhwee!) . @Poster just move on with your life

Chei, see free donor o!

@ POSTER, SHIT happens every time, just move on wit your life, That's a sign of immaturity on his part

Czar-Chris:

@missy b,
      The guy is highly insecure, he couldn't even tell her to her face that the sex was meaningless, MEANINGLESS!!! How could he be pouring hot akamu into that extremely hot babe and at the end of the day turns around to call it meaningless(mhwee!) . @Poster just move on with your life

Taste and desirability are personal. . . One man's dream, another man's nightmare. 
Besides, looks has nothing to do with quality or ''meaningful'' s[i]e[/i]x. 

Da mn!! That must have been painful. Anyway, like it has been said move on with your life and just chalk it down to experience.

The guy was wrong for not telling you to your face that he wanted to end it. But you were also wrong for not making your feelings known to him all this time. Pick yourself up and move on  

since u knew der was no happy ending to it, why ar u bothering us wit dis crap? Hu?

Missy ★ B:

Taste and desirability are personal. . . One man's dream, another man's nightmare.  
Besides, looks has nothing to do with quality or ''meaningful'' s[i]e[/i]x.  

mehn this chic is smart sha, lol all these guys patronising the girl because of her looks never fail to amuse me. Forget about how good the girl looks, the guy who has been handling the internal affairs commented that "the kini is nothing to write home about"; yet guys on NL who as far as i can imagine have no "insider" knowledge are slagging the guy off. Na real wa!