Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? - Family - Nairaland
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| Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by HotieTima(f): 6:06am On May 08, 2011 |
WHY IS IT BEEN A GIRL COMES WITH FAR TOO MUCH pressure WHAT U DO? HOW U DO THINGS OUT THERE?  WHAT ABOUT THE GUYS?WHEN A GIRL GET'S PREGNANT BEFORE MARRIAGE SHE A SLUT UUUUUUUUUMMMM THE BOYS HAVE BABY MUMMIES OUT THERE WTF  WHY DO FAMILY LIKE TO LIVE THEY DREAMS THROUGH THEY GIRL CHILD'S WE ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES U KNOW, WE ARE ONLY HUMAN WFT BUT NO ONCE THE GIRL CHILD MAKES A MISTAKE IS LIKE SHE HAS COMMITTED SUICIDE |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by Atreides(f): 6:23am On May 08, 2011 |
There's more pressure on girls than there is on boys. Trust me,i know. Have you ever heard of a father who's over-protective of his son? Not likely. But if it's a daughter-haaa,that's definite. I'm living proof. My dad has gone through my phone before without my permission/knowledge-something he wouldn't do to a son. My dad hates all guys,and especially guys that are interested in his daughter(s). I don't see him hating all girls that will be interested in his son. Being a daughter with an over-protective father=No social life. I doubt sons have that many restrictions. Getting pregnant=the end of the world for girls,which,let's face it,is pretty reasonable;females are the primary caregivers,males are not,and every girl who gets pregnant has to deal with the responsiblity of it. I don't even have any beef with this particular belief. I'm not getting pregnant anytime soon(like why would i get pregnant? Am i mad? Do i have any idea how much work it is to take care of a baby?)so i am not bothered by the double standard of how a woman who has a baby out of wedlock is viewed as a slut or at least a loose person and then a guy who does it isnt. Girls are under pressure to get married,while guys can marry at any time-simply because she has a certain age limit(the big 3-0?) after which it'll become difficult for her to find a husband. So yeah,girls are under more pressure than boys. That's a fact. An annoying fact,but well,we gotta deal with it. Things've been this way for a long time and i imagine they'll remain that way for a long time to come. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by iice(f): 6:31am On May 08, 2011 |
One of the reasons i never liked being a female. I get hours of lectures on fraternizing with males, dangers of what what. . .blah blah. . .like gimme a break. My brothers get the 'if you make her pregnant, you're on your own' and tori don finish. Couldn't they just say that one line to me and save me hours of talks i usually just daze out to 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by HotieTima(f): 6:32am On May 08, 2011 |
SO TRUU GIRLS WE GIRLS ARE LIKE THEY BLOODY HANDBAG THEY PROTECT US FOR NO REASON WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH OUT THE SOCIETY LOOKING AT US AND THEN U GOT FAMILIES ALSO LOOKING UP TO U, HUMANS ARE BORN TO MAKE MISTAKE. SO IS IT SO MUCH OF A CRIME WHEN WE MAKE IT WE ARE HUMANS TOO U KNOW |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by HotieTima(f): 6:35am On May 08, 2011 |
iice: GOD I HATE HE LECTURING BIT THEY PUT PASSOING AND WASTE MY TIME TAKING $HIT AND WHEN IT'S MY BROTHER UR A MAN U WILL SEE UUMMM WTF WHY DIDN'T SAY THAT TO ME TOOI FEEL YA MAN |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by Nobody: 6:37am On May 08, 2011 |
Hotie Tima:welcome to one of the many double standards and mixed messages alive and well in our society. The funny thing is that, those women do not sleep with robots. They sleep around with men also but only women get all the bashing. Personally, I don't feel too high on sleeping around at all no matter what gender. But I'd like to live in an egalitarian world where everyone is equal and the only difference between a man and woman is the shape of the gen**italia. Hotie Tima:That right there is the highlight of your entire Post. Being a girl come with so much pressure, from society pressure to family expectations. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by InkedNerd(f): 6:38am On May 08, 2011 |
@OP: I'll tell you why. . . It's because parents still think they're still in ancient Nigeria. iice: I don't think you should ever say that you don't like being female. If you allow other people's action and feeling to dictate your outlook on your overall being, where will that get you? I know life can be hard on women but it's what you make of it that determines the life you live. No matter how anyone feels or treats me, I will never allow that to make me feel like less that who I am. By the way, I've never had one of those talks with my parents. They know better |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by HotieTima(f): 6:40am On May 08, 2011 |
Inked_Nerd: I SWEAR THEY REFUSE TO RELEASE THIS IS THE 21 CENTURY WE TRY NOT TO LET IT GET TO US, BUT PARENTS DO THIS THINGS TO UR ALL THE TIME |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by iice(f): 6:58am On May 08, 2011 |
Inked_Nerd: Lmao! I have always said it and will always say it. Maybe most people are mostly their 'physical selves'. . .i happen to be more mentally myself. Just because i don't like being a female, doesn't mean i feel less of myself. . .my physical self is really irrelevant to me anyway. lol. . .i no fit laugh sef. Anyway you don't know me mentally, to know if people can actually affect me  |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by InkedNerd(f): 7:10am On May 08, 2011 |
iice: Ok, I understand  Hotie Tima: They've never done it to me. I love my parents but I think I did an ok job schooling myself on teen issues and responsibility--its not that my parents couldn't do it or that I wouldn't hear any of it, it just wasn't something I wanted to discuss with them. I knew what I need to do and what I don't need to do and that was that  |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by Nekai(f): 7:19am On May 08, 2011 |
I think it is ironic that the boy, who will become the head of a household someday, is sometimes allowed to be more irresponsible. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by HotieTima(f): 7:23am On May 08, 2011 |
Inked_Nerd: miss nerd u think we go and want to talk to our parents about somethings, uuumm we don't but they just like talking no joke, they are trying to put us on the right path, of no sex before marriage, so sleeping around with boy's, they think they are doing the right thing but if u look in mamy families and culture this acceptation is only accepted from us the females. and then once u commit a mistake is un endless lecture of things u don't even want to hear |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by HotieTima(f): 7:24am On May 08, 2011 |
Nekai: tell me about it, they should be telling the boys they position but somehow it makes no sense is us that gets the lecturing |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by InkedNerd(f): 7:31am On May 08, 2011 |
Nekai: Smh  Hotie Tima: I wasn't trying to say that you or any other wants that conversation between them and their parents. I was just talking about my on experience with my own family. Even my sister, they've NEVER had the "sex/you better not misbehave" talk with her and she's on the right path. The thought of even having sex with a guy at her age is kind of a turn off to her. My parents have never had any sort of talk but we all know both male and female how to conduct ourselves. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by HotieTima(f): 7:37am On May 08, 2011 |
Inked_Nerd: but u see u have shown your parents that they have nothing to worry about, so they can see that with out a worry me huni i am a party animal, i also find it disgusting sleeping around with guy's. but going put to place to have fun don't mean your going to bleep someone, so from preventing it form happen they talk talk talk as if we are all the same . sometimes i understand why they are doing it for but sometimes i am like why again over and over. i don't need it!!! well i like the strategy at ur home |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by Atreides(f): 7:51am On May 08, 2011 |
Oh and how come some Nigerian Parents NEVER give their kids sex ed? Everything i know about sex i found out from books/tv shows/the internet. All i ever got was 'Don't let anybody touch you there'. When my mom'd be bathing me and naming the parts of my body;she'd be like this is your head,your shoulders,your tummy,your knees-and jump what's in between. Even now,like a few months back when i asked my mom why she didn't have the sex talk with me when i just hit puberty,and that i needed to hear it now,she asked me point-blank;are you having sex? I said no,she said,good. Then you don't need the sex talk. . Lol. I think it's a Nigerian thing. I never got long lectures on that because they were even more uncomfortable with talking about that kinda stuff with me than i am. I have had to deal with overprotectiveness and a lot of restrictions,but i've never had to deal with all those if you get pregnant you're dead/don't sleep with boys talk etc. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by HotieTima(f): 8:01am On May 08, 2011 |
huni generally it all black parents they never talk about sex to teach u want is acceptable and what ain't but they let u know the day u get pregnant don't show your face to my house wtf man i think all black kids had to learn sex by then self |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by iice(f): 10:30am On May 08, 2011 |
Atreides: I think because they find it embarrassing and most times it is for both parties. But it should be done. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by tpia5: 1:17pm On May 08, 2011 |
Its far easier being a woman than it is to be a man, imo. With a woman, you dont feel as pressured when it comes to sex, life etc. Men are under enormous pressures from all sides and often are psychologically forced into certain molds, often without their being aware of it. Men who get women pregnant may feel they're better off than a female baby mama, but actually, the psychological stigma affects them both- just that the man's own isnt obvious like the woman's. Just my opinion and of course i could be wrong. Women who are forced to be hookers of course have it hard, but what about many men who are p.imps- imo they are just as enslaved mentally as well as physically. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by mcnepow(m): 1:47pm On May 08, 2011 |
First, I tink u hav all focused more on pressures relating to sexuality. For every pressure faced by a female, there is an equal or greater pressure faced by a male. I think the males have more educational, financial and societal pressures hanging on their shoulders. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by mcnepow(m): 1:52pm On May 08, 2011 |
Educational pressure - Rarely do I hear the ladies say I need to make so n so grades, 'never' have I heard a female say with a 3rd class degree what does life hold 4 me. Scarely do I see a lady sitting down to analyze what they wuld want the semester results to look like. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by mcnepow(m): 2:00pm On May 08, 2011 |
Financial pressure - As a Nigerian with the extended family system, we all know how many uncles, aunties, cousins, inlaws etc etc that need to be 'supported'. This hangs mostly on the neck of the males. Secondly, as an Ibo boi it is expected u go to your village to 'show working', do most females feel these pressures? |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by mcnepow(m): 2:06pm On May 08, 2011 |
Why do ladies feel we aren't under pressure to do it right n not giv a woman belle. For me, we dont bring home loads of chics too. There are restrictions n tabs on us too. Parents also sit us down n giv us the sex talks o. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by Atreides(f): 2:30pm On May 08, 2011 |
Who says ladies don't face educational pressures? Lemme speak for myself-i definitely face that from my parents. They're like Asians-always expecting A's. As i am now,i'm in my freshman year and i'm already calculating my G.P.A and tryna estimate the grades i need to make to find myself in first class-and i haven't even written first semester exams yet! Right from high school i've always been under that pressure to make certain grades. My dad told me then that if i didn't make Waec/Jamb the first time,i would pay for my fees with my own money the next year-and i wrote all my exams and passed them once! I've always been pushed to participate in quizzes,debates,to write,to read broadly,to contest for positions of prefectship,etc. I'm planning to make a First class,planning to start writing ICAN exams next year,already looking up Masters's degree programs etc etc,and believe me when i say everyone i know expects me to excell. If i ever made a 3rd class,my life would be over. Infact,let's not think about such negative things. . Lol. It's not whether i'm a girl or a boy-it's a function of the parents i have. I'll have to agree with you with the financial pressures thing though. We girls aren't under as much pressure to provide for our extended families etc etc. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by GL(f): 8:09pm On May 08, 2011 |
i know! a relative of mine was complaining bitterly about her son's girlfriend sleeping over in their house, saying the girl has no home training. i thought it was ironic that she didn't see her son's complicity in the matter. i don't feel like i'm under a lot of pressure, maybe it's because i don't have any brothers to compare with. my parents never gave me any sex-ed talk, i think they just assume that i know what is right and would do it. but then i've been particularly compliant and level headed all my life, so it's taken for granted that i would 'behave'. mcnepow: not with nigerian parents, we feel the educational pressure as much as guys do. i know more guys who play with their education than girls |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by mecussey(m): 12:11pm On May 09, 2011 |
Girls are over protected because, all men believes they are low mental beings including your fathers and me and fortunately and unfortunately, it's true. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by Nobody: 12:22pm On May 09, 2011 |
see all them feminists! |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by Soulstarr(m): 12:32pm On May 09, 2011 |
Hey Ladies, I feel your pain but even though double standards exist, I don't think you guys on here appreciate where your parents are coming from and their point of view. A guy gets a girl pregnant, he still goes about his business and his family might not even get to hear about it but the girl and her family are stuck with an unplanned pregnancy and 9 months down the line, a kid no one planned for. No sane parent wants their daughter to experience the struggles of being a single parent, so before you give them a hard time, consider the possibility that the grief they give you is borne out of love for you and a need to protect you from a life of struggle. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by http(m): 12:34pm On May 09, 2011 |
Girls and their complains, Ur parent are only helping u cos when belle comes out, na u go bear the wahala, Its like the analysis of cash deposite, boys deposite the cash, guy make use of the cash, Our parent are helping us if u don't know, this is not the issue of bois or girls, More importantly, girls bears the brunt of raising kids on their own more than anything else in this world. What our parent want is for us being successful in life and as african, we have culture and tradition that guide our actions, Remember the son or daughter of whom u are, that what they say, u will understand more when u become parent and ur kids are in that age, Ladies stop using those F words when the issues concerning our parents is involve, tells alot about u. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by opositive(m): 12:43pm On May 09, 2011 |
@mcnepow ur statement is not a universal rule, therefore it is not a fact.as for educational pressure i face it and i think i will soon break from d pressure my parents ar puttin on me to get a 1st class.u ar also wrong dat a girl doesnt care about her grades cos i do.i set goals for the grades i want to get each semester. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by Connoisseur(m): 12:45pm On May 09, 2011 |
True, girls are always under pressure. Though guys are too especially when you are the only son. |
| Re: Why Are There So Much Pressure On Girl's In The Family? by opositive(m): 12:52pm On May 09, 2011 |
as for financial pressure,i'm under intense pressure to provide for my parents and siblings as i come from a family of all girls and i am the 1st.if i dont provide for them,who will? The extended family is no better because we are mostly girls and the few boys we have ar still very young.so as you can see,am d scion of my family and all responsibilities lie on my shoulder |
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