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My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years - Romance - Nairaland

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Poll: should i return to my ex?

yes: 0% (0 votes)
no: 77% (7 votes)
consider it: 22% (2 votes)
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My Ex Wants Me To Marry Her Best Friend, Pls Advice. / Here Are 6 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back / My Married Ex Wants To Compensate Me (2) (3) (4)

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My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by kilasos(f): 10:46am On Jul 18, 2007
hello people
i broke up with my ex 2 years ago,the long distance was a big issue,i found someone else,this gave me a reason to break up with him.
i have a wonderful guy now who is ready to settle down.
down the line my ex calls me up yesterday saying he gave me up too easily and did not put up a fight,now he wants to fight for what truly belongs to him.i said to him distance was a factor and will still be,he goes on to profess his undying love and hw he can't meet anyone like me.
really is this a joke or what?
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by nana(f): 10:49am On Jul 18, 2007
kilasos:

hello people
i broke up with my ex 2 years ago,the long distance was a big issue,i found someone else,this gave me a reason to break up with him.
i have a wonderful guy now who is ready to settle down.
down the line my ex calls me up yesterday saying he gave me up too easily and did not put up a fight,now he wants to fight for what truly belongs to him.i said to him distance was a factor and willm still be,he goes on to profess his undying love and hw he can't meet anyone like me.
really is this a joke or what?

U've said it all, so u truly belong to him, Aint got no advice for u other than to say for heart,
Give all to love,follow ur heart,obey ur mind and will,
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by Bolarge(m): 11:32am On Jul 18, 2007
kilasos:

hello people
i broke up with my ex 2 years ago,
my ex calls me up yesterday saying he gave me up too easily and did not put up a fight,now he wants to fight for what truly belongs to him.
he goes on to profess his undying love and hw he can't meet anyone like me.
Lemme get ds straight,it took him 2yrs which= 24 mths=104wks=730days make una clap for my maths skills na tongue to come to terms with the fact that u belong to him and he shdn't've let u go soo easily. . . .
. . .he sounds a lot like a retard to me don't u think?
Sweetie get real, ds guy just got his sorry a$$ dumped by another chick n' all this' just love on the rebound angry. . .
orr he got a much needed breather to go get some free ass n' then come right back to princess. I'm a guy I know dse things.

kilasos:

i have a wonderful guy now who is ready to settle down.
Why compromise this for the retard? Unless there's som'n else u not telling
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by kilasos(f): 11:44am On Jul 18, 2007
@Bolarge
thanks for your candid opinion,as far as i know he did date one girl after we broke up,and it didnt work out well.
we communicate at least once every week,he told me he was fine and would like us to continue as friends.i thot it was ok,and kept telling him about my new guy.
my new guy is lovely,we have been together for 23 months now and i couldnt ask for some1 better.he shldnt hear of this ooo or ill be in trouble,he advised me to cease communications long ago but i didnt.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by drrionelli(m): 11:47am On Jul 18, 2007
@kilasos:
Your ex says he "wants to fight for what truly belongs to him," right?  

Uh, excuse me, but, first of all, NOBODY "belongs" to ANYBODY else!

Apart from that, have the issues that caused the break-up been changed?  If distance was an issue then, it will likely be an issue now.  If, indeed, this truly was a reason for the break-up.  I state that because you note that the distance "gave (you) reason" to break up.  If I may ask, was it a reason, or just an excuse?

I also observe that you state your "wonderful guy" is ready to settle down, but you don't say that you are ready to settle down.  Do I detect a bit of uncertainty in your current relationship?

As to your ex being unable to find anyone like you, I ask that you consider if he seeks you or simply somebody "like" you.  That should tell you something about him.  And regardless, he is your ex.  Thus, his happiness is not your primary concern--yours is.

It seems to me that you're not quite sure what it is that you, yourself, want, my dear.  I suggest that, if you are in such a state of uncertainty, you re-assess the status of your current relationship.  This would be only fair to your "wonderful guy" and yourself.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by mide2(f): 11:48am On Jul 18, 2007
I feel u @ Bolarge ! Not with calling him a retard tho. But i honestly think u've said it all. Why do some men think they can just walk back into your life whenever they feel like. I'll advise not to give up your boyfriend now for a come back after 2 years. It doesnt sound like its worth the try.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by nana(f): 11:52am On Jul 18, 2007
U guys have said it all,
kilasos:

@Bolarge
thanks for your candid opinion,as far as i know he did date one girl after we broke up,and it didnt work out well.
we communicate at least once every week,he told me he was fine and would like us to continue as friends.i thot it was ok,and kept telling him about my new guy.
my new guy is lovely,we have been together for 23 months now and i couldnt ask for someone better.he shldnt hear of this ooo or ill be in trouble,he advised me to cease communications long ago but i didnt.
Ur ''wonderful guy'' told u to cease calling ur ex but u didnt,
Trouble dey sleep jejeli,u go wake am, Babe, if ur ex wants a comback, i think u caused it becos u gave him room,
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by olanajim(m): 11:57am On Jul 18, 2007
U have no problem at all. You already make a choice. All you need is enforce it.
Your ex may truly love you. But, you are in a serious relationship now.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them sincerely. You would find the key to your happines:

After breaking up with him, did he accept ur logic and let you go? Did you love your fiance, that is your new guy ? Is your new guy caring, affectionate, faithful and satisfied you in all faculties during the period you are together? What is so special about you that draw your old guy back to you? Look at the positive traits that draw you to your new man: would you rather lose those things and embrace another guy who you know is always going to be far away from you? Is your old guy coming back to marry you or he has other plan? Since he is far away, I assure you that you would still need to know him,

By the time you finished these evaluation am sure your heart would be lighter. Once you make up your mind to reject him, just make a firm NO. If he is adamant, tell him you are engaged and worst still you are pregnant. Most guy run away from that. Stay where you know you will be happy. He called yesterday, you have time to avoid trouble, now.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by kilasos(f): 12:14pm On Jul 18, 2007
@drrionelli
im certain i want to settle down,distance was an issue not just an excuse.
it was really weighing us down in the relationship,there were a lot of emotional distress as well associated with that.
i know my ex did love me but the issues that made us break up are still there today.so it will be stupid really taking him back
he was my first love and hence the strong attachment to make him my friend considering we were friends before we started dating.
@olanajim
my new guy is all i could ever want in my future husband and more.my family knows about him.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by mide2(f): 12:19pm On Jul 18, 2007
Pls, stick to ur new guy, severe communications with ur ex, u will hv to choose between ur nu man and ur ex. I'v bin in the same shoes.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by olanajim(m): 12:35pm On Jul 18, 2007
I am extremely happy you are honest about. God had shown you your path. All that is left is to guard it and build a strong fortress. Don't bother about him being your first love. Everyman feel that way. Even me. No man is ethernally destined to love ONLY one woman. That is why they are polygamous. He will get over it. The problem with him is simple: the 2nd relationship hurt him badly and he found sanctuary in his past love and you happen to be the fellow. If his 2nd relationship had worked, he would never have returned to you. That is fact though there are exceptions which are rare.

Tell him NO and let him know you are getting married. He would put up a fight to test your resolve. Be bold, don't emotionalize it. Watch out for his next steps. When he get too trouble some, cut him off. Show love to your fiance, he isn't your guy anymore. Pray for God grace and let God bless your new life. The past is gone, bury it where it belong.

One more word, every good relationship suffer a trial. You are passing through yours. Satan want to tempt you,to let you go of what God gave you(as he did to jesus, job) say a firm NO to his advance TODAY and abide in God Grace. The rest is your to nurtured.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by drrionelli(m): 12:36pm On Jul 18, 2007
@kilasos:
Then, by all means, if you wish to keep this fellow as a friend, do so.  In spite of what others might say, it can be done.  It sounds as though he could use a friend.  Hey, couldn't we all?   wink

I do wish to express my concern that you feel you will be in trouble with your current boyfriend for continued contact with your ex.  That sounds as though he might be a bit controlling.  Are you not an adult, and, as such, in a position to determine whom you wish to speak with?

Just a consideration.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by kilasos(f): 1:11pm On Jul 18, 2007
@drrionelli
he is not controlling, he warned me of this b4 that it will hapen when u continue communication.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by Aproko(f): 1:20pm On Jul 18, 2007
so are you saying you are still in love with your ex? undecided
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by kilasos(f): 1:46pm On Jul 18, 2007
no
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by olanajim(m): 2:01pm On Jul 18, 2007
All said. Nobody opposes your being friend with him. You said you had been communicating with him even in those two years at least once a week. If that is the case, you had been fair with him. And your new guy, sorry your fiance is aware. He according to you had warned you of continued communication before now. I believe he is fair by let you communicate with your ex.

He is not controlling at all. He had shown maturity of an ideal man. Some guy would have asked you to change your phone like I read in one of the thread posted today, Respect that from him and don't let him have any reason to start doubting you. You would lose on both side. Your ex still carry the old problem. So, he is a big gamble for you.

The issue is, 'he want you back, and wanted to fight for your love. He believes you belongs to him. It is obvious he want more than just being friend. He is already a friend in those two years. He just want a 'step forward' a potentially dangerous step for you. That is why you should severe tie if he is adamant.

if a man want to date a difficult lady against her restrictions, that is one of the steps we take! Just friend! Though, again, I must warn, there are exceptions.

If you are not careful, you would start dreaming of old time again and fall. That is not to say all men expecially those who want to be friend want you back. Men are complex. One man is not every man. That is why i laugh when some ladies cheat on men. Orwhen they try to be in control. You are never in control, ladies. Respect your man!
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by olanajim(m): 2:05pm On Jul 18, 2007
All said. Nobody opposes your being friend with him. You said you had been communicating with him even in those two years at least once a week. If that is the case, you had been fair with him. And your new guy, sorry your fiance is aware. He according to you had warned you of continued communication before now. I believe he is fair by let you communicate with your ex.

He is not controlling at all. He had shown maturity of an ideal man. Some guy would have asked you to change your phone like I read in one of the thread posted today, Respect that from him and don't let him have any reason to start doubting you. You would lose on both side. Your ex still carry the old problem. So, he is a big gamble for you.

The issue is, 'he want you back, and wanted to fight for your love. He believes you belongs to him. It is obvious he want more than just being friend. He is already a friend in those two years. He just want a 'step forward' a potentially dangerous step for you. That is why you should severe tie if he is adamant.

if a man want to date a difficult lady against her restrictions, that is one of the steps we take! Just friend! Though, again, I must warn, there are exceptions.

If you are not careful, you would start dreaming of old time again and fall. That is not to say all men expecially those who want to be friend want you back. Men are complex. One man is not every man. That is why i laugh when some ladies cheat on men. Orwhen they try to be in control. You are never in control, ladies. Respect your man!
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by kilasos(f): 3:19pm On Jul 18, 2007
thanks olanajim,true word
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by Ralvy(m): 6:31pm On Jul 18, 2007
now he wants to fight for what truly belongs to him

& u agree that u truly belong tu him, sounds funny,   I guez u shuld b weighin your options now, hu d'u think truly loves & deserves you  I think u shuld give the idea of going back tu your ex- a thousand thoughts. I mean,  He 4gets 'err-thng 4 24months, then calls u up one day and says ["I'm ready tu fight for what belongs to me"] ,  holy hera, 
Add a pole to this topic let people vote, weigh your options & decide ma dear. Seek God's Intervention too,

Good Luck
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by angelchi(f): 7:51pm On Jul 18, 2007
dnt put all ur eggs in one basket girl, am nt saying dnt go back 2 him o dat is if u still wan 2 bt wht assurance do u ve dat he wnt leave u again? be careful.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by kilasos(f): 5:40pm On Dec 13, 2007
its been a while but i want your opinion.
he gave it a rest for a few months.
he called me a few hrs ago and mentioned it again that whatever i do,We should meet before I get married.
He said it might change things.
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by floxyrangy: 5:01am On Dec 14, 2007
please, I am begging you in the name of God, do not, I repeat, do not honour that invitation. Why do you want to throw away a good thing you have to that stupid ex? what if he dumps you again?
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by t4tgirl(f): 2:44pm On Feb 19, 2008
(From experience)Let me give you some advice girlfriend,

I dated my ex for 3 years, that beautiful relationship was sealed with my adorable son before he had to travel. As with all long distant relationships time took its toll and it (the relationship)eventually died. I got into another relationship and 3 years down the line Mr X comes running back. Now let me tell you this, as at that time I had even more at stake than you do which is the fact that he was the father of my son, so most of the advice I got was to go back to him. I left a wonderful man who loved me (and my son) because I thought my X still loved me and I knew I still had feelings for him. Lets just say once again, this time, without the distance, things weren't so great. Personally If what you have is beautiful then stick to it. It took him 2 years to discover that he still loves you I hope the distance doesn't make him forget again? wink

No matter the advice you are given the decision lies in your hands, the truth is that in relationships, love just ain't enough. There must be sacrifice and compromise and if during those trying times of separation you couldn't pull through whats to say there wont be others in the future. Try and compare both guys taking these points into consideration:

1. who you thinks loves or loved you more? (compare both relationships i.e. comparing the first one before you had the distance issues)
2. why did your last relationship end? was it just because of the distance? (looking back I can think of several other reasons why mine failed)
3. who you think you honestly love more?

Think about it!
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by Nautillus(m): 2:59pm On Feb 19, 2008
kilasos:

no

LIES . . . , if you didn't why are you even considering it??!!!
Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After 2 Years by Youngpo413: 5:12am On Sep 03, 2014
Ex matter

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