As a graduate I have been on this menial job for about 5 years now hoping a better one will come fast but no way. I just know I need to be a married man. Now what if I manage to get married with this Job, can this same Job afford me the necessities that will be enough for me to possibly take care of myself, my wife and my parents? Will my salary be enough for me to carry out all these activities? In the first place, agreed I will have missed my taste of the kinda woman I would want to marry, but are there still any woman out there who will accept to marry a man earning as low as I do right now? What if I start having kids and owing to the fact that I cannot get my dream Job due to the scarcity of Jobs, will I be able to send my kids to the best of schools that I’ve always dreamt of? Will I be able to give them the best of education with the little salary I receive at the end of every month? What if I lose my Job today; how can I possibly fend for myself, my parents and my family. My head is cracking. Is there anyone else out there facing life this way? What do u think will be my exit strategy?

How much are you earning?

you dont need to have that kinda defeatist attitude/mindset towards marriage.there is no good time to get married you will just cut your coat according to what you can afford.
the likes of mike adenuga and the rest were dirt poor when they got married and had their first ,second child/children and you never know if the girl/woman you are getting married to will actually be the one to bring good tidings into your home.besides the woman will be working as well so you will both pool resources together

I dey feel you @GODSON2009.

If I was in love with you, and I know that you didn't have a defeatist spirit, and that you hadnt given up hope inside I would marry you. We would be able to work things out in time if we worked towards our goals together. Unfortunately Im not looking for husband but I wish you good luck in your search.

I was in ur position 6yrs ago. How did I get: God, harwork, optimism, patience and God again.God will help our yung peep

Who are those twisting your arms to get married, why not tell those you can to mind their business whilst telling the others the monthly allowance you are giving them would reduce or be stopped if you marry in your present condition.

Busy_body:

Who are those twisting your arms to get married, why not tell those you can to mind their business whilst telling the others the monthly allowance you are giving them would reduce or be stopped if you marry in your present condition.

LOL @bolded but really sha there isnt a perfect time to get married o,its only the likes of omo dangote and babangida who have everything perfect financially before getting married

@DrummaBoy
Thanks for lifting my spirit. It is not as if I am exhibiting any sort of defeatist attitude but I am just weighing everything left, right and centre in the real sense of it. I am very hopeful and optimistic. God bless you!

how much is your salary?

@Chukwudi06
A recent so called increment brought it to N59,825.00 per month

Go ahead and get married, with that salary you can make it
Another thing, look for a working class lady.
Good luck to you.

macfarland:

@Chukwudi06
A recent so called increment brought it to N59,825.00 per month

It seems you are not a good manager of funds. Believe it or not you earn more than what majority of Nigerians earn per month. I thought you were going to tell us your salary is N20,000.

And u call that amount small? Na u no wan marry o

@poster go and marrie but make sure you marrie lady working class to support you.

Imagine that, people are telling you to get married when within yourself you do not feel financially ready. When the demands that normally arise from starting a family come up those same people will be far away from with no support.

However you have to be careful that you don’t allow yourself to wallow in defeatism or self pity as someone already pointed out. Consider the statement; “To get something you never had, you've got to do something you never did. . .“
Work on your game confidently and don’t fail to enjoy the whole process, it’s a valuable time you are experiencing.

Sometimes when u want to start a new phase of life, it alwys looks really hard but if u r determined u will do it. Marriage is a big deal ur salary isn't terrible u can manage.just be on the look out for a woman who is willing to walk with u without too much friction.

Una say women dey bring moni, why are they demanding much b4 seeing when single?

Like what DrummaBoy has said ,I was equally in your position 15yrs ago. same age with you and both gradutes from the University and no money at all, Our (husband and wife) total monthly salary were (N3,800) married into one room apartment, faithful in paying our tithes and to the glory of God , we are living in our own house , with two cars( jeep inclusive) to show for it without cheating anybody, this happen through God, God, God , hard work, optimism, patience , understanding and discipline

You are still young, no rush to get married. However, if you are waiting for the perfect senario you will be waiting forever. Like others have said, you are blessed with a better salary than many people see, so be happy where you are. Be single and content and if you find the right person, go from there.

By the time you meet the right woman you have to get to know her and really find out if she is the right one for you so you wouldn't get married overnight anyway.

Enjoy your single life and be happy where you are first.

Na wa

poster, only marry when you are ready. do not follow the timetable of others.

@Poster.Am happy I encouraged U.
U make enough.Though there's a blessin in maraige dat wil increase ur finances wit time

@poster. . . The only person that can give you the best advice is yourself. Most posters are telling you to go ahead and marry when deep down, you know your pocket. They are giving religious "testimonies" of their god's "work" in their lives forgetting that Nigeria is much harder to live in than during their time. My broda, their talk is sweet but trust me, you do not want to witness where your woman rubbishes you day and night because of money. Has a woman ever called you a lesser man before? Has a woman picked a quarrel with you at 2a.m making noise so that the entire neighbourhood will know that she is the one who brings the greater income? All these sweet mouthed success story posters are THE SAME people that will degrade you if you come back here in the future complaining about the humiliation ur wife is giving u because of money. YES! Things can change tomorrow BUT WHAT IF IT DOESN'T? I watched my neighbor's wife pack virtually everything from their flat leaving only mattress and bucket for the husband to see when he got back. She claims she bought everything and paid the rent. The struggling poor guy cant even show his face outside again. Imagine the shame and disgrace! Please,apply your common sense. You are just 33. We are no longer in the era where it was necessary to have kids early to aid farm work. Wetin sef? World population don pass 6 billion na. . .lol. Nuff said! ! !

@harakiri, u are pessimist, so annoying.

@nonny. . . Pessimsm? Optimism? I think the word you're looking for is REALISM and i ALWAYS spit harsh cold realities and the bitter truth which nobody wants to hear. I know it's annoying. The bitter truth always has that effect on people who dwell on lies and live fake fantasy lifestyles.

I agree with everything harakiri said.

Dont extend the chains of poverty,

@OP,u said u are a graduate but u've been surviving from hand to mouth courtesy of ur menial jobs for years now,pls what did u read in school?There might be someone out there that can link u up to a better job.
If u are not capable of providing the basics for urself,pls don't make the mistake of bringing in a lady to compound issues.Waiting a few more years won't hurt.

He who find a wife,find GOOD THING&OBTAIN FAVOUR from God. I must tell you that with your current salary you can manage your family. I know of a family with 3kids where the hubby is the only one working and earn 25k and you can never ever tell on them. You worry too much and have neglected God factor. Since you ve been trying to do it all by urself and through all your worries what have u added to ur status. I strongly have FAITH that if you can just stop planning all by urself and involve God in ur decisions you will see changes and you will be elevated. Thou should not worry or be anxious of nothing.
Before you were concieved he knew you. I pray you seek God,s face and you shall find favour in his presence in JESUS name.

macfarland:

As a graduate I have been on this menial job for about 5 years now hoping a better one will come fast but no way. I just know I need to be a married man. Now what if I manage to get married with this Job, can this same Job afford me the necessities that will be enough for me to possibly take care of myself, my wife and my parents? Will my salary be enough for me to carry out all these activities? In the first place, agreed I will have missed my taste of the kinda woman I would want to marry, but are there still any woman out there who will accept to marry a man earning as low as I do right now? What if I start having kids and owing to the fact that I cannot get my dream Job due to the scarcity of Jobs, will I be able to send my kids to the best of schools that I’ve always dreamt of? Will I be able to give them the best of education with the little salary I receive at the end of every month? What if I lose my Job today; how can I possibly fend for myself, my parents and my family. My head is cracking. Is there anyone else out there facing life this way? What do u think will be my exit strategy?

NOBODY has the right to pressurize you into getting married . . . . if they are not giving you a better job to take care of your family.

Your life is yours and yours alone. Like you rightly pointed out, most women will not settle for people like you and I really do not blame them. Afterall who wants to suffer

It's only for a while, thing will surely get better for you and when the time comes, you'll find the right woman to marry. Don't live your life for anybody!

Sheyun:

He who find a wife,find GOOD THING&OBTAIN FAVOUR from God. I must tell you that with your current salary you can manage your family. I know of a family with 3kids where the hubby is the only one working and earn 25k and you can never ever tell on them. You worry too much and have neglected God factor. Since you ve been trying to do it all by urself and through all your worries what have u added to your status. I strongly have FAITH that if you can just stop planning all by urself and involve God in your decisions you will see changes and you will be elevated. Thou should not worry or be anxious of nothing.
Before you were concieved he knew you. I pray you seek God,s face and you shall find favour in his presence in JESUS name.

These are the kind of deluded advice that land people in trouble and abject poverty. Even the average adult will find it difficult to survive on N25,000 per month. Do you know how much food stuffs costs in the market? Do you know how much transportation costs? Do you know how much it costs for fuel generator each day due to epileptic power failure? Do you know how much house rent costs? Have you considered medical bills? School fees? Clothing? Utility bills? Unforeseen expenses?

@OP

Please, i beg you. . .do not follow these kind of deluded advice or you'll have yourself to blame.

@harakiri, Oh ye of little faith. Are u his creator. Pple like you existed when the lord warned the egyptian and they refuse to listen. I will only agree with u IF ONLY U CAN TELL ME WHAT YOUR NEXT 24HRS WILL LOOK LIKE! With God ALL THINGS are possible. My friend if you are convinced u need a wife please dnt be afraid. One will pull down a thousand and two TEN THOUSAND.