Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? - Family - Nairaland
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Poll: Do Your Children Have Godparents?Yes.: 29% (8 votes)No.: 18% (5 votes) It'll never happen.: 7% (2 votes) I'm considering it.: 25% (7 votes) I don't believe in them.: 18% (5 votes) This poll has ended |
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| Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Nobody: 5:38pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
Just thought I'd start this thread. Firstly, let's define the role of a Godmother and Godfather. These are responsible adults, who could take over the role of looking after your child / children, should yourself and your spouse be unavailable to do so. So for instance, your wife's in labour, and you the husband choose to be with her through the delivery period. Or you've both contracted some viral infection, which is highly contagious, and your child / children are in the clear. So a couple / singular responsible adult has to care for your little ones in the mean time. This is not to be confused with extended family members, close relatives (siblings) parents, or even next-door neighbours. Godparents can also make important decisions regarding your children, should you and your spouse be unavailable to do so. Our 10-month-old toddler daughter has both a Godmother, as well as a Godfather. Both have entirely separate roles to play, they are not married, they live in different parts of the UK. Godmother is a 70-year-old white lady, whilst Godfather is a 45-year-old black man, one of my best friends, who's own daughter is 17-years-old. One would wonder why a black African couple would appoint a white Godmother to their child, but it's not always about racial background. It's more about the ability to carry out the role of Godparent. So, Nairaland parents, do your children have Godparents? Are they Nigerian? Are they black? Or are they Caucasian? Are you really bothered what race they are? What influenced your decision when you made your choices? Let's share! |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Odunnu: 6:14pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
I dont have godparents but i'm god-mother already to 2 children. They spend weekends with me and I mentor them, their parents I consider as mentors too because they are so close to me and I run to them when i'm down. They are both blacks. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Nobody: 6:45pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
^^^ Sounds a good set-up, Ms Odunnu. Would you consider Godparents for your children though? Obviously, you feel they have a purpose, as your being a Godmother clearly portrays. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Odunnu: 7:12pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
Yea, left with me they would all have godparents. Funny enough, I cant remember ever having this 'will our children have godparents/who'l be our children's godparents' discussion with my husband. Lol. *saved for discussion* |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by ifyalways(f): 7:34pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
I am a god mother to a number of grown up orphans but funny enough,my kids do not have godparents.we never just thought of it probably because we are surrounded with a whole lot of family and friends so I guess its gonna be real tough making a choice. It's a cool concept though. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Nekai(f): 11:59pm On Jun 05, 2011 |
I like your definition of godparent. (I've always thought it meant that the person would take on the role of replacing the parents in the unfortunate event something happened to them.) Godparents are a wonderful thing. My parents selected a godmother for me and growing up it was really nice to have her in my corner as a special person my parents selected just for me. In a way we were closer than many of my aunts. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by blank(f): 9:14am On Jun 06, 2011 |
Wow. I thought everyone has Godparents. I loved mine. They were sooo generous unlike my brother's own, aka gum. Lol. It's a church thingy 4 us cos at baptism, a child is required to have 3 Godparents depending on d sex of d child. My little baby is having his baptism next Sunday and we have informed the Godparents who are so delighted. The am not in agreement with the original definition of Godparents (when my extended family never finish). I just look at it as a way of sealing lifelong friendships, thanking people for their help and just fulfilling tradition. Still dropping hints with my friends so they will make me a Godmother when they start having kids. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by iice(f): 3:38pm On Jun 06, 2011 |
I have godparents. We all have godparents and just not godparents at baptism. I'm a godmother. Race has never been an issue for me/us. I'm more of a who-is-the-person kind of person. So their godparents would be eclectic. Just how i like things  |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Nobody: 5:23pm On Jun 06, 2011 |
blank:Same here . . . You need a God mother to be baptized! Mine is my Aunt. Nice woman but there is no connection between us. My Children will of course have Grand-Parents too (in order to be baptized). But me and my hubby are all the role-mode!s they need  |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by otukpo(f): 11:07am On Jun 07, 2011 |
YES. Its a good thing. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Nobody: 11:21am On Jun 07, 2011 |
Sincerely, I do not understand why you people cannot get out of your colour. Even the simple matter of God parents or what have you, now has to be defined along colour boundaries. Your kids' God parents must be people who share your sense of value and way of life. Therefore if you are a true Christian(Not a church goer), your kids God parents must be true Christians(not a church goer) and must share your wholesome view of raising a kid in line with biblical principles, thus whether they are white, pink, yellow , brown, black or what have you makes no difference. It is unreasonable to define your God parents along colour semantics 1 Like |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by dejavus: 12:47pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
Never Believe it it never will, The name repulses me the Most, godparent. I even find it difficult to say it out loud, then again, its just me! |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Sagamite(m): 1:13pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
Nobody has made me Godfather so far because they all know it is Shopornaa I go teach and imbibe in the child. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Nobody: 2:06pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
dejavus:For it to repulse you that bad, you probably have a misguided concept of a godparent's role. Please don't take this the wrong way, but what's your concept of a godparents role? |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by mbulela: 2:40pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
Never believe in it and never will. A contraption created for societies where there is absence of ubuntu. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by dejavus: 2:58pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
Siena: The Concept of godparent is what repulses me siena, the whole conecpt of giving the function performed by certain people a "name" I have loads of relatives and next of kins who does exactly the same function, but I ll rather let it stay that way. I happen to reside in the UK and a friend in Nigeria asked if she can be the godmother to my kids and I said No! she was hurt but I told her not to take it the wrong way, I just don't believe in it, end of!. And also going by your definition, does that means who ever performs the functions of the godparents while they are unavailable becomes another proxy-godparent? or temp-godparent? Then again, that's just me! |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Roland17(m): 3:31pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
I am a catholic Christian, and a God parent to a Muslim boy named Abdulrahman in Lagos, i love him sooooo much and he is soooooo used to me, he is 3 yrs old now, it was not easy though, it was very tough. but the parents felt i was the best suited for him, coupled with the fact that he was born on 16th and i was born on the 17th of July, which the parents never knew, until after the naming. it has given me a sense of responsibility, especially moral responsibilities. God bless Nigeria. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by murtalaa(m): 3:52pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
The concept of godparent does not apply to african settings. African families are predominantly extended. You can always find someone from your family to take care of your children when unable to so yourself. The western family on the other hand iS stricly nuclear in most cases. A typical family in the west comprises of only father, mother and children plus grandparents in few cases. It is a society where everyone is to themselves, hence the need for godparents. It would be ironic to import this culture into the nigerian setting. ISome nigerian folks who appoint godparents to their kids never ceases to amuse me. i guess it is only to appear "western" and be seen as sophisticated. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by ikooko(m): 4:15pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
So much love for foreign culture, while they tag ours as primitive, fetish etc etc. In Yoruba culture, any responsible person who is old enough to be your parent is considered your father/mother. My father's elder siblings are Big-Daddy/ Big-Mummy, while is younger ones; Daddy/Mummy. All of them look after us. Honestly, You need to practice this to know the fun in having several daddies and mummies. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by dejavus: 4:39pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
ikooko: murtalaa: Way to go guys!!!!  |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Rapmoney(m): 5:07pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
Timmy Turner? Hahahahahahaha |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Nobody: 8:11pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
All comments taken on board. I agree - we as Africans have extended families, who can look after our children at a moments notice, no question. But there's more to a Godparents role than merely looking after our children. Godparents tend to take their roles very seriously, as they should. It's an honour to be asked to be a Godparent to ones child, and there's a lot a child / children can benefit from them, more than they would from extended family, or even their own parents. Now, that's not to say their own parents or extended family are bad when it comes to childcare. It's just a different scenario. Yes, we're African, but let's face it, relatives have that tendency to let you down, more than someone who's not related to you in any way. Often, it's not that they're careless, more because they know you so well, and know how far they can take liberties. Some may say "Nigerians appointing Godparents are merely trying to appear more sophisticated than they actually are, more Western". I disagree with that. Besides, not every Western influence, if you can call it that, are bad. It's just that in most cases, Africans / Nigerians are selective, when it comes to certain things. We'd think nothing of walking around with Ipods, Blackberries, the latest laptops etc. Or dressing in Western attire, the ladies with permed hair to mimic Caucasian hair texture (not a bad thing, who walks about with a wild Afro these days?). We even give our children Western names, with adults going as far as changing their native names later in life, adopting English ones. The Western influence is everywhere in African society, from the jobs we do, to the cars we drive. But, we don't see anything wrong here. We're being "selective". Myself, my younger and elder sisters all had Godparents, and this was in Nigeria. My own Godmother was actually an older lady in the village, she was probably at least 20 years older than my own mother. She was never blessed with children of her own, and I remember her care. She was as close to me as my own mother, I remember her travelling from her village to Benin City, a journey which at 3 hours odd, was a lot for an elderly lady. She made this journey once every two months, and would be laden with gifts. She never forgot a birthday either. Yet our own relatives would in most cases at least want the fare to come visit, or they'd be too busy. Nothing wrong with this, they are our blood relatives, and expect us to be used to their ways, both good and bad. It's the same reason, it's best to do business with a non-relative, as relatives are most likely to take advantage. The roles of our relatives and Godparents, where they do exist are very sharply defined - similar, yet so different, if you look deeper. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by GboyegaD(m): 8:22pm On Jun 07, 2011 |
I love the concept of godparent and wouldn't mind being a godfather. Concerning my children, I am not so sure yet if my children would have because my fiancee and I have never discussed that perhaps because we are of different denominations. Though there is a higher possibility of them having since my fiancee is catholic and besides, my intention of post graduate studies in the US and my not willing to return until I become a professor will likely see me attending catholic church as such, they may likely be baptised in the catholic church which requires them having godparents. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by mystikal(m): 1:24am On Jun 08, 2011 |
Dunno if my godfather experience counts as the conventional type. The Man I grew up to know as my godfather was a military man (neighbour) who helped my mum deliver me in a military hospital back in lagos, cos my Dad was unavoidably absent due to the nature of his job at the time. He helped out a lot in my later years. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by Ferya(f): 8:39am On Jun 08, 2011 |
I have a godmother, I remember clearly now that visits my parents home when I was small only on Sundays to eat rice that we call her Sunday mother Unfortunately, I have never heard from her for so many years now & can't trace her. The problem is that, most godparents don't know their responsibilities. We have decided to use our family friends, although white mothers for our kids, they have inspired our family positively. |
| Re: Parents - Do Your Children Have Godparents? by blank(f): 10:40am On Jun 08, 2011 |
@ Siena, just to mention that friends can be even more nonchalant than family. Anyway, I think you guys are making it into too much of a big deal. Our next of kin is my sister not Godparents. I look at it as a way of cementing some informal relationships. |
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