There are two people seeking for my hand in marriage.The first one is older than me with fifteen(15) years,dark in complexion and even older in outlook but he is single while the second is seven(7) years older than me,fair in complexion and a cute young boy.My mum loves the later but am very attracted to the formal,she even warned me not to have anything to do with the formal even the thought of him makes my mum to quit eating but whenever he calls me to take me out i find it difficult to resist his call,we went out yesterday and had some good time,wherever we entered his name will be hailed to and fro,is up to a year and one month since he came with his people and wine to ask for my hand in marriage.My mum also said she does'nt want me to marry from imo state cos we are from anambra.The later like i posted in this thread before is out of the country he calls me sends me money and anything i needed.3 weeks back he went clubbing and when i called him he was drunk my mum was there when i made the call,she too was'nt happy and as a strict christian she is she cautioned him as she would do to her own son but since then he refused calling me again.After a week i did'nt see his call i sent sms across to him telling him not to be annoyed because of my mum caution if that was why he stopped calling,he called after my text and said he was'nt annoy just that he has something at hand that is making him spend much that he will call me the next day when he loads his internet,that was last sunday.Do u know that up till now i have neither seen his flash or call(He is from anambra too).Please help me what do i do?

Ur mum wants d best 4 u
bt def cant run ur hm 4 u
if u happy wit d formal,y nt talk 2 er bout it

Dear Dear Dilema,

Okay don't fuss much about him not returning your call. Only 0.001% of men are good at calling back all the time so, dont fret its their nature i think.Focus on what is key.
I would like to believe you are not below 25 yrs, in other words you are mature enough to make your own decision concerning your life and ready to handle pressures that come with making major decisions.
I have no solution.That rests with you finally cz you have to be responsible for your actions and not blame anybody for your choice.

Ask yourself a few things like;

1. What are you looking for in a partner compare the 2 men's character.
2. Who is getting married here?? are you trying to please somebody else by letting them decide for you or you choose according to your heart's desire and God's will?
3. I dont know Imo or tht other place.But for heavens sake,arent we all God's creation? Can you break that mentality that says you can't marry or do business from a certain community cz of abcd.There's always a remnant left even if that community is full of witches.
4. Ask yourself why your mom prefers the other guy.Is there something she knows that you do not? She could be right you know.
5.Is your dad alive or if he doenst live with you guys,what is his opininon?? Does he agree with your mum? What about an uncle.Its not bad again to just hear what a close relative thinks about somebody.That doesnt mean we let them choose for us.Its just wise counsel we need.
6.If the single man is say 38 yrs and you 23? well well.Its a big gap but it can work still.Hes just mature in his reasoning, so if you are still all 'girly' and stuff then you may find him too old for you and your interests may differ. But it can work for sure.Girls mature fast.

I like the fact that the older guy loves you and knows how to take care of you.BUT note this.At 15 yrs older he knows how to please a lady. what makes you tick.
The other guy, mmh let him come home then you will see the type of character.This online dating hides a lot of things about people.
He could be good but just youthful.
God help you.

I just checked your profile!! Are you 20?? ONLY??
Good Lord. okay can you please take your time before you leap into marriage?
You got a job? I mean at 20, I wasnt even sure what I wanted to study.
If its my sis I would beg her to wait a bit.
All talk to you about this when you hit 25
cya.

@upendo pls leave that profile age.My dad is alive but before u get his consent u must get my mum's consent first.

Phew.seriously I almost got a heart attack.Cz its not good to jump from high school straight into marriage. Some experience in btw helps us be able to handle pressures in future especially in this crazy modern world which hs no comparison with the days our parents grew. Community set up saved many marriages then.
Nowadays its you,your dog or cat and your God.

Well that said,still consider the above. Mums can at times be difficult but they are the first we will run to when things hit rockbottom in marriage.
Find out whats in her heart that makes her reason like that.

@ 190
Why are you adding sorrow to her already confused heart Now everytime she goes out with the dude shl think shes not good enough.That can be very damaging to her personality.
Help her out.

so u like the former cos they hail is name everywhere, i see

Eyaaaaa, if only u were beautiful, unfortunately, you are just der, nothing to lose sleep over, take wateva comes ur way and be happy

op
am also confused here.

you people are soo cruel and nasty. Please nevr tel a gal in her face that she aint beautiful
It scars her for life. Just dont say anything if she's not like you expect her to be.
And how do u even knw shes not. Shes not uploaded any photo  
And why not listen to her cry surely?

20 yr old with a 35yr old, now see y she is keen on him

@190,i dont have time 4 ur kind of person cos i know ur mum does'nt produce fine girl,dt is 1 thing i hate abt dis Nl dt makes me not to comment Anyway you are entitled to ur opinion

190 ur correct jo,

nneka u do mistake gan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At least am better than ur sister.

am 100% sure ur not,

come on, ur rock bottom, no one can look worse than u

kpolli:

am 100% sure your not,

come on, your rock bottom, no one can look worse than u

harsh !!!

is this the same googles i feel for once??
plus i was kidding, n fact is i didnt lie

kpolli:

is this the same googles i feel for once??
plus i was kidding, n fact is i didnt lie

lol wazaa? i came on NL today to look for trouble ni

how av u been tho ?

been here n there,

wow so i wasnt the only one who went MIA in NL,

continue, there is alot of trouble to be found here

lol ok

^^^lwkmd

190:



my sister - the truth is bitter - to be sincere you nor just fine at all

manage any man you see now else breeze go blow pass you just now -

no offence but your face is as strong as olomo rock - dont you use powder

190, 190, 190. How many times did I call you? Why ar you like this? Why oh why? Are you that fine yourself? *points my two fingers from my eyes to yours*, am watching YA!

This girl is in her mid 50's and frustration is her middle name.

190:

who 

Are you a girl?