Hello nairalanders, u could say i'm weird but i'm not, my boyfriend just popped the big question"WILL YOU MARRY ME?" and i'm terified, how will i live with a man for the rest of my life, takecare of him, love him, takecare of the house, have children, see to the children's welfare, then i WILL have to put up with his FAMILY. etc.!!! Gosh! Call me selfish i know, i'm 24yrs, And i think its too much. can i cope? I see people getting into mariage and i wonder how do they cope?

why did you say YES if you dont feel ready? aaaaaaaah women!!!!!!
i suggest you sit down and think about what you want SERIOUSLY. not all r/ship should end up in marriage AND, even if it does, it should be when "both" partners are ready.

Fear! I sense fear in your post. And also that you are not ready. You are so unready that you are afraid and are afraid of marriage itself. When one is not callously contemplating marriage, it is one of the most beautiful things in the world cos one gets to be with that one person. Love or somethg very near it, matters for marriage. I won't insult you by asking if you feel deeply for him, this question should have been answered long before you both got to this point
What then are you afraid of; what is so troubling about this union. Is it the bad rap that has beleaguered marriage for so long, and really, what about his family is bothering you. Do not sweep any of these factors under the carpet, Deal with them, you owe yourself that, don't hate yourself for feeling the way you do, it may be your saving grace, your wake-up call. Immense yourself in prayer.

wait till ur 34 n find out if u can

kpolli:

wait till your 34 n find out if u can

you get am ohhh, jareee, 24 ehn, e dey sweet you, you still wish to sow wild oats, ok, your eye go soon clear

why on earth should you get married when i personally have not tasted your punny
Share the punny girl, it's not for one man
maybe till when you are 35, then you will be sharing it with prayer house prophets

Jesus Christ. R u serious?
Marriage?? Its not a movie my dear its very practical!
I would expect such a question from a teenager for real but if you have all these fears my dear,put a PAUSE' and try to understand what ur getting into.
Do you have married female friends/reltives that you can talk to?
cz Its like going to the university without a clue on the course you are going to study.
Get to sit with your Aunt or a trusted female and let her tell you what a woman is and her role in marriage plus dont go to those who talk ill of marriages.
Talk to positive people.
Note this: Marriage is a journey.You dont have a full picture yet but you enter praying it works out and that you will get to the end of the journey.
Dont get ulcers b4 u even start.

I think it'a a bit normal being scared about what you don't know and especially living the rest of your life with someone, but try to see the good side of it starting by the ceremony, future children, sharing moments , by the way I'm sure you'll be a good wifey sister, don't be scared it's a blessing!

neyah i just sent you a mail kindly check thanks.

ok dont get married now.

kpolli:

wait till your 34 n find out if u can

Nautillus:

you get am ohhh, jareee, 24 ehn, e dey sweet you, you still wish to sow wild oats, ok, your eye go soon clear

so are you guys saying that she should get married JUST because she is 24?! no wonder so many marriages end up in failure.

@Brownjay
Theres some 24 years old that are ready in mind ie.This one has fears and its not good for her I think shes seen and heard too many negatives so a positive outlook from a positive woman may help her overcome. But its still her choice you know.Now she needs to tell her fiancee to give her tyme then.
I think you guys are also putting pressure on your women.If she gets to 28 b4 marriage you say shes too old
if she gets married at 24 then shes too young,

^^ i never said she was too young. . . . . . . . i am simply saying that AGE has nothing to do with MARRIAGE, therefore people should focus on the right things in life rather than stoopidity such as age.

are all 24yr old women automatically ready for marriage?! are all 18yr old automatically NOT ready for marriage?!
people should open their mind rather than labelling people in the wrong light.

Nautillus:

[size=18pt]you get am ohhh, jareee, 24 ehn, e dey sweet you, you still wish to sow wild oats, ok, your eye go soon clear
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[size=38pt]DIES    [/size]

@ BJ
Okay . Its true what u say.
Unfortunately and this I say after being in NL for few weeks,almost all posters touching on marriage tend to equate it wth age.
And worse still they say its a society thing.No wonder the moment the woman hits 23 panic sets in and by 30 if not married shes labelled old/perishable cargo.

All these are questions that YOU will need to answer. No one can answer them for you

Remember, you will be the one to live the life . . so . .you are scared of marriage . .do you want to or not?

FYI, you dont have to get married.

@Upendo98
i agree with you that it is how "most" Nigerians think but, nevertheless, it doesnt make it right.

most of "these" people are desperate and ready to marry ANYBODY, just to be call husband/wife.
as we can all understand that "most" Nigerians foolishly believe that getting married is synonymous with "being happy". lol!

He asked a question

You can say YES, NO or I DONT KNOW

You can just tell the GUY to WAIT cos you are not yet READY

By the way, you did not tell us about the engagement ring.

did he give you one, or not, and would a bigger rock have changed your mindset?