I had to learn a long time ago that marriage takes a lot of work. I aim to make it my full time job, everything else is secondary and I let him know that.

Someone told me at my bachlorette party that marriage is a garden. It needs plenty of sun, you need to put a fence up around it to keep the critters out, constantly look over it and pull out any weeds you see growing, and give it a lot of time and attention to be sure that things are growing in a healthy way

@flower

How long have you been married? You've got some of the best write ups on this so far,

I had to learn a long time ago that marriage takes a lot of work. I aim to make it my full time job, everything else is secondary and I let him know that.

Someone told me at my bachlorette party that marriage is a garden. It needs plenty of sun, you need to put a fence up around it to keep the critters out, constantly look over it and pull out any weeds you see growing, and give it a lot of time and attention to be sure that things are growing in a healthy way

well said. i will also add my penny's worth:

Bind not yourselves in the secretness that causes suspicion and doubt. Trust and reveal yourselves to each other, even as the budding rose opens to reveal its fragrance and beauty.
And hear not only words, but also the non-language of tone, mood, and expression. Learn to listen to understand rather than listening to argue.
Let no one come between your togetherness, not child, not friend, nor worldly goods. Yet maintain enough separateness to allow each other his or her own uniqueness.

If you ladies keep this up, I'm definitely going to have a lovely marriage!

only if you practice them o

Ono, we are celebrating 3 years of marriage in April.

Seun: I'm sure you'll have a wonderful marriage because it seems as if you're truly interested in seeing what will make it work.

so will i Flower please say yes
i'll also have a wonderful marriage

Rhodalyn:

so will i Flower please say yes
i'll also have a wonderful marriage

Yes, you as well

what have you all been up to? c'mon share those roll in the hay formulas

It's all really about paying attention. Pay attention to your spouse, see what they like and try to do more of it.

wake him up middle of the night, just to tell him how much u love him. 
wear sexy nightwears, it does the magic too

uhm
but how come a lot more sisters don't practice the nice lingerie idea? few places stock up on really nice lingerie in naija anyone know where to get one?

The good thing about lingerie is that it not only makes you look sexy for him, but it has the ability to make you feel sexy as well.

Hmmm. So I can actually buy a lingerie for my wife? I'll actually be doing her a favor? It won't be a selfish present?

if my husband bought me lingerie, it would tell me he wants me and he seriously still finds me very attractive

Initiate sex sometimes, don't let him do it always (Sisters)

If my husband buys me lingerie, that means he loves my body and wants to see more of it. It means that I turn him on and that in turn activates my senuality for him

It's something you both enjoy, it's not selfish at all.

true

flower:

Yes, you as well

Initiate sex sometimes, don't let him do it always (Sisters)

I have heard it said that husbands find it frustrating at times that they always have to be the ones initiatiing sex but I think it is usally because a woman doesnt't want to come across a s being a pervert. anybody has an opinion on that?

My thoughts:

Men are visual creatures, if they see something they like, they can easily get turned on. Women are more emotional so it takes more for us to get in the mood. Men could look at us getting ready for bed or imagine seeing us (or another woman, who knows) and at that moment would like to become intimate.

Since we are not visual in that way, we are usually kick-started by the guys. Also, men think of sex so much more than woman (blame it on the testosterone) so we need to make a concious effort to understand that's what they like and make a move. It's not really a matter of being a pervert, especially if you're married.

One more thing: Men usually show love through being physical. It's how they connect. We are not wired that way so it's also an avenue they use to show us they care for us.

@nikinash
You see it depends on the kind of woman. And how u understand the union of marriage. its true women feel like that but its a feeling or notion that shouldnt be in marriage. The bible says deny not one another, and if the women needs it, she should initiate it. The man is not the initiator. This could spice up our marraige alot, our initiating the lovemaking game.

The Men where are you guys, tell us how to spice our marriage too from the male POV.(Point of view)

nikinash:

if my husband bought me lingerie, it would tell me he wants me and he seriously still finds me very attractive

flower:

If my husband buys me lingerie, that means he loves my body and wants to see more of it. It means that I turn him on and that in turn activates my senuality for him

It's something you both enjoy, it's not selfish at all.

Seconded! oops, Thirded.

nikinash:

I have heard it said that husbands find it frustrating at times that they always have to be the ones initiatiing sex but I think it is usally because a woman doesnt't want to come across a s being a pervert. anybody has an opinion on that?

If he says you are a pervert, tell him you are his pervert. I don't think there's anything wrong in initiating it, afterall he's your husband.

viviansam:

The Men where are you boys, tell us how to spice our marriage too from the male POV.(Point of view)

Exactly! Only the ladies have been contributing. And if they say Nigerian men are not romantic now, they would want to break their PCs.

yes where are all them boys?

nikinash:

yes where are all them boys?

Taking notes and studying what us ladies are saying

I've learn't so much from you ladies. You're all a blessing to married people like me on NL. I will do my best to bring all these advice to bare on my marriage.

Thanks.

I am a very lazy cook. and he loves to eat , So sometimes i cook him something really nice and that does the trick 4 me, Its always a "come here madam come sit with me" after a good meal

Ask her afresh. (I mean TOAST her again, as if ur seeing for the first time again). Pretend something got into you and you just started noticing new features about her you've never seen. See what happens next.

hi everyone, how have you all been? has anyone practiced any of these tips successfully, please share your experiences. we need to revive this thread y'all.

have a wide variety of sexual positions. i am being serious, it helps in my marriage. But really both have to find ways of enjoying and experiencing each other,could be doing new things like taking up dancing together or investing a a huge collection of lingerie(your husband will not shout about the credit card bill when it comes to this one , i promise you)

I'm learning, keep the ball rolling @y'all

titilayomi:

I'm learning, keep the ball roll @y'all

aw that's nice, are you a new bride? when it comes to undies, lingeries, girl 3 words for you ''invest, invest, invest''

@sisi, I'll be in 9 months, but i'm learning a whole lot on this thread. I'm not so into sexy lingeries, i'm more into comfortable, fitting ones, but i guess i have to change my orientation and learn to invest in the sexy ones.