As avid readers of this column will have noticed from the fact that it makes the same joke about John O’Shea being big boned every day, the Mill doesn’t like change. So the prospect of Cesc Fábregas actually moving to Barcelona fills us with dread. What’s the Mill to do without its staple rumour? Leave the office? Make some phone calls? Do some research?

Luckily, Chelsea are here to save the day. Yep, according to the Mirror they’ve signed Barcelona’s 17-year-old striker Gael Etock from the Catalans’ finishing school – the Mill imagines this is a place in the Swiss Alps where you learn how to pass dead good and develop a massive sense of self-satisfaction – which means we can all look forward to “Etock: I want to return to Barça” rumours for the next seven years.

for more info:
http:///2011/07/01/football-transfer-rumours-gael-etock-and-javier-pastore-to-chelsea/