this guy has been waitn 4 it, am sure his been doin wit someone else by the way he's not solvn much(if any) by sendin her away.i think they shld talk mo and trust each utha cos she will be out there, including him.

Im surprised its even worth comment in this day and age!
Agree with the other poster you can break a hymen so easy during sport , and vibrators are commonplace so are we saying using those is wrong out of marriage? Its hardly being unfaithful is it?
When these standards were set long long long ago, intimacy gadgets did not exist!
Family meeting? Well what a potential nightmare that would be, imagine if its a Love Machine/vibe would she take that to the meeting too?
Jeez!
Anyway how nice a husband is he that he rushes off to tell someone else that his new wife has no hymen, not much for her dignity is there!!!

@Yewande e ka bo 2 NL

dis is sum crazy thot i jus cldnt hav imagined. lol!! cum 2 think of it, d reaction of d guy's mother cld lead 2 hypertension afta seein such "millenium instruments".

i stl maintain dat V or NO V, it dont matta 2 me. let there jus b fidelity in our home. period!

@IBB

"e ka bo 2 Nairaland" Is thatHello? If so Hello back, your my first reply!(now Im not a virgin anmore )

Re Reply

Exactly, in these modern times who on earth can judge such a thing!!

Like an Ann Summers Party where all the family pass the V round and have a turn watching it wriggle on the table
I dont think so lol

lol

Sorry Grizzly I didnt mean to offend, in England this isnt a taboo subject but then again I guess thata wife beinga virgin may be a little rare too! Im learning your culture please bear with me

LOL at my self then, bear with me and you being Grizzly, no pun intended!

@Yewande

where r u 4rm? if not nigeria, how cum bout d name? i'm hapi 2 b d 1st 2 lay my anointin on u n create d path of righteousness dat we may now move freely without syd brushin.

I changed my name by law in england from my english name to this one
a colleague in my office had the name Yewande and she is from nigeria and I liked it so much I changed mine to it
Tho I changed it to Yewandé. I think I was born in the wrong place, I love Africa it just seemed the right thing to do.
I know what the name means thats why I took that name even though I liked it anyway.
.
Pardon me I havent a clue what "syd brushin" is it sounds as though I may have upset you? I seriously hope not!
I posted from England, thats where Im from

@Yewandé

oh! i undastand beta now. "without syd brushin" jus means no disturbance 4rm other people.

so tell me, when do u plan 2 visit dis luvly land called NIGERIA and make use of d official currency known as d NAIRA?

I have commitments here IBB that make visiting for pleasure not possible at the moment but it sounds a bit scary bodies in the street, corrupton I read about on here etc if I did come it would be with a friend from there else I would be out of my depth! She said she will take me when I want to go, but not yet sorry

(anxious not to take this conversation off topic)

Millions of women that are no virgings marry every year , It's the heart that count, not the body. I even live with a man, having two kids with him, for 15 yrs. already and we are not married, never wanted to , With us is just o.k, And the virginity? What's that? A symbol for covards who are always in fear there might be someone who treated his lady better , For as long you can keep your woman in ignorance, it's o.k. But if she tasted the life (in any way) any covard man has a food reason to ask himself: what if I'm not good enought? And that's a real problem of non- virginity ,

There's a photo of first spring flowers from my country attached , Good luck!

Thanks reneeslove
Here in the UK we would never even ask such a thing!
The thoughtof an embarrassing family meeting would make me cringe well Id not want to be part of such a meeting
I thought obnly God himself was fit to judge anyone!

The flowers are lovely what are they called?

THIS IS NOT FUNNY COS TRUST IS AT STAKE

Hello Shungin

Trust is a big issue but this should be between the two people concerned surely?
Again how does he know for sure it was a man who broke her hymen which is the only way you can measure if she aint a virgin?
Vibrators etc are readily available and sport can also do damage so there is no way to tell but to suspect the worst doesnt say much for his trust and respect for her does it!If she says she was then she was, then he doesnt trust her, why not?

.Why did she lie in the first place? To impress him. After all being a virgin isnt everything. Theres more to marriage than virginity. I think whateva action a man takes in line wih such dicovery is justified. Its all about A BREACH OF TRUST. He could still have married her even if she wasnt a virgin and they could live a happy life provided he never gats to know about any fling post marriage. After all, want u dont know wont bother you in that regard.
My other question is this- How does one rally comfirm if a lady is a virgin or not. If had several conflicting accounts. Some say trhare has to be heavy blood flow. Some say it can be very little. Some say it doesnt necessarily have to flow. Some say the Hymen may have been ruptured from bicycle or tricycle or horse riding from early youth is it true.
I had a girl friend that never flowed but claimed to be one. Infact she was always clad in rosary and other religious stuff.
Somebody help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From what I know an unbroken hymen is supposed to be the marker
Dont even go there with flow as SURELY men dont want to see that as well
Jeez
I dont feel qualfied to comment as to why she lied as I dont know why its a big deal to even be bothered about her being a virgin and my culture ignorance is kicking in here,Clearly it means something in Nigeria and Im going to stand back and wait for someone more experienced to comment further!

Check this out
.
http://www.suntimes.co.za/zones/sundaytimesNEW/newsst/newsst1102067035.aspx
.
Testing for aids and infections can be done with a needle and with dignity I understand if you need to check this as who wouldnt but as you can see from this link its not right to check for virginal proof though it may be a culture thing
sexual abuse, sport etc etc and the fact that men arent tested equally makes this not on!

i still retain dat dis is 2 much of an issue. back in d days, parents would advise their sons 2 marry a girl from d village becos no man has eva seen her insyd out. even dz days, d village girls hav gotten worse.

so it dznt matta 2 me weda a girl is a virgin or not. truthfully, i dont want 2 get married 2 a virgin but i wldnt mind if 1 came my way. d stress n dissatisfaction in disvirginin a girl, esp. if ur d**k size is larger dan average could be sum serious wahala (problem).

4 d blood aspect, i jus cant stand dat part.

d only mistake she made was 2 lie about bein a virgin which i saw as very unnecessary. howeva she lost it, she lost it n dere's no retainin it. it's jus lyk tryin 2 swallow words dat r already out of ur mouth, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

how would he hav felt if he broke her virginity n afta sumtym, she decided 2 get on d wild-life by havin xtra-marital affairs? n d issue of bringin family n wu eva on dis subject makes no sense. if he has a brother or sista in d family 2 attend d meetin, wat makes him so sure d guy's wife was a virgin b4 their weddin nite? or his sis took her virginity in2 her matrimonial home?

do people eat virginity.

ladebi

"do people eat virginity."

what are you on about lol

IBB
I agree with you, isnt that like "let he whom is without sin cast the first stone"
I aint religious but its relevant isnt it?
None of us are perfect but if he loves her then it doesnt matter 100% however again Id like to know how this man is measuring this aspect if it cant be measured!

You would think if he enjoyed her more experience he would be happy

"d stress n dissatisfaction in disvirginin a girl, esp. if your d**k size is larger dan average could be sum serious wahala (problem)."

Wow, is it?

it does not raelly matter if ur wife is a virgin.May be she was abused ,so those female that were abused sexually durin their childhood if every man should marry a virgin would not get married.

@
ladebi
Yes I agree it aint always as straightforward as it seems!

u agreed about not eatin virginity or what.

ladebi

No, thats an expression I have not heard I dont agree with eatin virginity since I have no clue what that means I simply agree that child abuse exists or she could have been raped, there are many possibilities and neither of those would I want on my CV
I could see why she wouldnt tell him she had been raped or abused especially since he holdssuch stor by her being virginal hey she might love the guy and not want to lose him. Im beginning to to wonder about HIS motives!

How did he know his wife was not a virgin

Good question.

Some ladies loose their hymens without having sex through strenuous activities so no bleeding during intimacy is not always a sign of previous sexual activities.

is unique a male or female.

I will only add my opinion if somebody tell me - that the man was a virgin before meeting the wife.
who is cheating who?

Agreed

I don't see why a woman or a a man wouldn't just tell the truth. Yes, I had sex, now I'm waiting for marriage. If you can't see past that indescretion, than you're not worthy of me anyway. Simple as that.

the man messed up bro. he should have just waited till after the wedding.
anyways, he should have kept a clear mind being, "no woman is a virgin untill she is a virgin".

Every gal was once a virgin, ,if i was the gal, i'll feign surprise @ The loss of ma virginity, i'll be like: 'How come'? LOL