No, I wasn't at the wedding but I AM bleeping sure THEY DIDN'T SAY by the power invested from SATAN I pronounced you HUSBAND AND WIFE.   

I used MOST HIGH because different RELIGIONS have different NAME FOR THEIR DEITIES.

Next question.

Regardless if they wasn't married IN FRONT OF MOST HIGH or behind MOST HIGH the guy is MARRIED.  Simple and FACT. 

Just like you saying that YOU could have 20 wives because you called 20 women wives that still doesn't mean if BOTH OF THEM GET MARRIED IN COURT that they are legally married.

You see how that sound stupid? My point exactly.

Only different between a court wedding and a village or traditional wedding is that COURT WEDDINGS provides CONTRACT.

Mrs.Chima:

No, I wasn't at the wedding but I AM bleeping sure THEY DIDN'T SAY by the power invested from SATAN I pronounced you HUSBAND AND WIFE.   

I used MOST HIGH because different RELIGIONS have different NAME FOR THEIR DEITIES.

Rubbish - some cultures marry by being handed over to their husbands and paying dowry to the bride's family. Some believe once you've had sex with a woman and she's preggers, that makes you married. It doesn't have to be religious or involve God, even in the traditional realm. This is why I said you need to quit jumping to conclusions and find out what 'marriage' happened.

Next question.

Regardless if they wasn't married IN FRONT OF MOST HIGH or behind MOST HIGH the guy is MARRIED.  Simple and FACT. 

There's no 'simple' fact - the most high says sex shall only be between married couples - does that mean BrownJay is married to every woman he's shagged?

No - there must be a clear definition for marriage - don't use the word loosely. The key is getting to the root of what 'marriage' occurred in the village.

Just like you saying that YOU could have 20 wives because you called 20 women wives that still doesn't mean if BOTH OF THEM GET MARRIED IN COURT that they are legally married.

You see how that sound silly? My point exactly.

You have no point really - you're either married as governed by the laws of the land or you're not. If a marriage is not recognised by law, it is void.

Only different between a court wedding and a village or traditional wedding is that COURT WEDDINGS provides CONTRACT.

Err, leave the technicalities to us Africans - you know diddlysquat about what 'marriage' occurred in the village so stop spouting as if you have some info the rest of us don't.

I'll take the man's words and his mother's words over some ITK Mrs Chima thanks.

She asked him about it and he claims that he had to marry her, because her father was the minister in the village and the father wanted to save face, because of his status in the village. She also told me that he said t[b]he marriage was not legal; it was just something that they did because she was pregnant at the time[/b].

If it was simply to save face, i.e to give the appearance of marriage without actually getting it formalised, then it's not valid.

It's like calling a girl your 'fiance' and never actually going to sign papers at the registry. You can shag her, have 10 kids with her, but you still aren't married.

I can dress up in a suit and get Mrs Chima to wear a white dress and say 'vows' to each other just to make folk THINK we're married, but it don't mean we're married.

I repeat, the crux is the validity of the so called marriage - if it wasn't properly done, then the man is not married. Even if he is married, it can be annulled or dissolved - it won't be the first time, neither will it be the last.

I don't care what YOU WON'T take. The man is MARRIED.

Why would he states he MARRIED A WOMAN FROM HIS VILLAGE if he felt he wasn't married?

That doesn't make any sense. That's like Sir Eric John saying he is only gay when he has an erection. WTF.

Like I said, if THE CHICK wants to be sloppy second THAT'S on her.

LisaMarie, remember what I told you. Take heed and GOOD LOOKING OUT.

LMAO@I had to married her because the father said so and because she was pregnant.   

I feel sorry for that baby. 

As the world turns.

Mrs.Chima:

I don't care what YOU WON'T take.  The man is MARRIED. 

If you didn't conduct the ceremony, I'll go by the man's words that he's not legally married.

Posting in capitals doesn't really change the fact that you're blowing smoke from your behind and nothing more.

Why would he states he MARRIED A WOMAN FROM HIS VILLAGE if he felt he wasn't married?

Do you know how many people claim to be 'married' but have never actually formalised it? Do you know how many women have fallen for that trick? Again, his words were that the marriage is not legal - that is the key. Unless that can be disproved, that holds more cred than Mama Chima's rantings.

Like I said, if THE CHICK wants to be sloppy second THAT'S on her. 

Unless you were the first woman your bf/partner slept with, you're also technically sloppy seconds, if not sloppy 20th for that matter. #justsaying

The veracity of the marriage claim must be established - anything else is hearsay. He won't be the first to impregnate a woman and be coerced into 'taking responsibility'. That doesn't mean he's shady - he's just made bad decisions in the past.

@Mrs.Chima - I would take into consideration what you said.
@For Everyone - Just for the record it is not about sex. According to my friend they have not been invovled in that way. She is a devour christian as well and he knows this. That is why I guess she is choosing to believe him. He said that he is not married. He has not asked to marry her I said that she is thinking about marrying him. I just wanted to know about the traditional weddings in Nigeria. His cousin had her wedding in Nigeria and her and her husband showed pics were they signed the marriage license or whatever you called it over there. They showed where her parents signed the decree and everything. With his wedding I saw now of this that I was asking how does the traditional wedding work in Nigeria. His cousin lives in America and her husband lives in Nigeria.

^^^^
Traditional weddings aren't legally binded so technically he isn't married

lisasmiles:

@Mrs.Chima - I would take into consideration what you said.
@For Everyone - Just for the record it is not about sex. According to my friend they have not been invovled in that way. She is a devour christian as well and he knows this. That is why I guess she is choosing to believe him. He said that he is not married. He has not asked to marry her I said that she is thinking about marrying him. I just wanted to know about the traditional weddings in Nigeria. His cousin had her wedding in Nigeria and her and her husband showed pics were they signed the marriage license or whatever you called it over there. They showed where her parents signed the decree and everything. With his wedding I saw now of this that I was asking how does the traditional wedding work in Nigeria. His cousin lives in America and her husband lives in Nigeria.

Can Mama Chima read the above?

Observant folk can tell the difference between a 'save your pride/dignity' arrangee wedding and the real thing.

Is there a way if you can find out if the marriage is legal or not?

lisasmiles:

Is there a way if you can find out if the marriage is legal or not?

Check with registry records

jay bee:

Check with registry records

^^^^
That will only work if you know the specific registry the guy supposedly got married in, Nigeria has no centralised marriage registry database.

^^^
I tire oh

This devout christian thing you keep saying keeps me wondering i thought the Bible is clear on how much God hates divorce. Now the main qxn- The marriage in Nigeria is it a Traditional marriage? I think it is cos i read somewhere he did it for his father. marriage is the union of two people before the Almighty in the presence of family and friends i believe they serve as witnesses to the vows both parties are making, Here in Nigeria it involves certain rites such as the grooms family paying a bride price to the bride's family. It also involves asking the groom in the presence of a number of guests if he wants the woman, if she is tha right woman e.t.c Your friend must not attempt to water it down. whether they proceed to court or church to solidify it in the eyes of the law is a different matter altogether. There is something called customary law you know.

My problem here is the man's integrity being called into qxn. As far as  i am concerned your friends integrity is also in qxn here. In Nigeria here we call such women husband snatcher if she didnt know its a whole different ball game but she knows to top it all up you say she is a "devout christian". I believe the first job you should give yourself is show her the error of her ways. She must not marry a married man he is married he has said so after her discovery.

olas2u i agree that no society is perfect yes but then nigeria"s just too messed up that it sticks up to your throat.Every Govt organ is corrupt in nigeria
The Federal Govt is corrupt
The state Govts are corrupt
The police is corrupt
The judiciary is corrupt
and even the christian organisations that arer supposed to offer hope to the average nigerian are also corrupted.Nigerian pastors fleecing money from the populace and using it in buying fleet of cars and expensive jets and by the way we should let the OP know that her friend is just hanging out with a nigerian man who is dating her for the green.If this nigerian guy really loved her friend then why didnt he tell her that he has a wife in nigeria?
You cant claim to love someone and still be decieptive.

Typically Nigerian, udo

she is being used!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What i know is dat d marriage is legal. Traditional marriage is recognised by law in Nigeria. Once you can produce witnesses to d union, you can even win a court case.

@tom28

you speak about nigeria as if you are from above

[size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt]MIND ur fucking BIZ and Get urslef a FUCKING LIFE[/size][/size][/size][/size][/size][/size][/size][/size][/size][/size]

@lisasmiles


Ever heard of the phrase: [size=8pt]"mind ur business"[/size]?

Typical!
The lovestruck lady will be duped definitely.
The Naija wife leans on the hope that her husband will do the *arrangee* marriage quickly, get a green card then come and take her and their son/daughter back to America.
The guy walks away with a confirmed *SWAGG* and a smug smile on his cheating face.
The Lovestruck lady leans on OP's shoulders to shed tear that she would have avoided from start.
OP struggles not to tell her *but I told you so*
Nollywood movie producers makes bank out of a similar script.
Goodluck still seems lost in politics wilderness, I don tire to type.

I already spoke to my attorney and he told me all that need to be done. So I just suggest he don't screw up.

The man admitted to being married. That should have been the end of it for your 'friend.' He's looking for a way to get

his wife and child into the U.S. via a green card. No offense to anyone but I would tell my friend to stay the he.ll away from

Nigerian men! Their reputation is far too tarnished, even by their fellow Nigerians.

Why does she need to marry him? What benefit does she need from him that she cant get without marrying?

silverstud:

The poster is a hypocrite, there are American Men who go to Russia, Ukraine, Columbia, Brazil, etc to find Wifes. Because they are Old and No One in America will Marry them, These Men get the benefit of sleeping with young pretty girls , while the Girls get the benefit of coming to America, Everyone knows that these marriages for not for love but are mutually beneficial,

How is that different from an African, Carribean, South American, and Yes European man who dates an American Girls, give her love and affection, plus heavy Mandingo (that they will never experience in their lives) and benefits by getting a Green Card.

Guys please wake up, every relationship/marriage is a contract that both parties are gaining from one way or the other, unfortunately it does not last forever,

you have said it all bruh!!

besides, women like the poster's friend will never listen to the poster anyways, she will marry naija man because of what she is getting in return and secretly hope because she is white, he will eventually forget his black uneducated poor wife in africa - and we all know she is so very mistaken as that will never happen since he already used to a black wife, would never settle for a white one!!

but who cares if it ends, half of all marriages in america ends in divorce anyways, if you dont leave'em, they will leave ya!  even if he has a green card and marries her, there r no guarantees that it will last!
let them be and stop being a busy body, because you make ur friend sound stupid as you r the one doing everything for her, even if her mom is the one doing what u r doing now, a typical white gurl will marry this guy just to defy you and damn the consequences later. so i doubt u r helping ur friend at all, and if she is as stupid as u r painting her, maybe she need to learn a lesson?!

naija man need to be very careful with u and ur gal as he is playing with fire if you went as far as contacting a lawyer already even when there are not actually problems yet, he can have safer alternative!

some stuped lagos buy i warn for many yrs to not stay in the city with pretty gurls rather go to a small town and marry some urgly girl did not listen and his very beautiful 21year old wife he married here in the city took only one phone call after 3years of marriage to have his ass back in lagos for one wrong move!! anyways, one more clueless idiot back to africa; so, this new guys needs to watch out, if i knew him, i would explain to him the potential consequences of his ways n the rest will be up to him

Thirst4Lif:

The man admitted to being married. That should have been the end of it for your 'friend.' He's looking for a way to get

his wife and child into the U.S. via a green card. No offense to anyone but I would tell my friend to stay the he.ll away from

Nigerian men! Their reputation is far too tarnished, even by their fellow Nigerians.

although the deception is there and that man has a lot of explaining to do, i doubt that should be the reason for putting ALL Nigerian men in the same bag.

Yes there are many who are after "green card love" but to automatically red card them all is WRONG. but hey, if we all reason like you do, then everybody should stay well away from Nigerian women too (since most are golddiggers).

lisasmiles:

@andromida - That is the thing he has convince her that he is not really married to the girl in Nigeria and he wants to be with her and he has no intention of every going back to his country. My friend said that she has also spoke with a close relative of his that has been married to an American woman for over 14 years and he said that once he came to America that the life over in his country was over. So she did not have anything to worry about. So she is not truly aware of what is truth and what is not. They have all manage to "woo" her closer to him.
@MRbrownJAY - I agree that is all I am trying to say. Just be honest and give her the opportunity to decide if this is the road she wants to take.
@claremont - Yes you all might be loving, but not always[b] honest [/b]especially in my friends case.

you do not imagine that we r all stupid here, now do u??
you come here to talk about being born again and what is right being right and whats wrong being wrong, ie, u believe in absolutes, yet, does your friend knowingly marrying a man to give him a green card not amount to illegality in your country?? i did not hear you speak out again the fact you mentioned that she might engage in this very illegal wrong act anyways or did i miss something??

smh

mrs, if you are in America,do you know of any African American that have been married about 3 or 4 and it was for GreenCard because they were born here make the Bo BO TRY HIS luck for what ever reason.Question MRS were you born in Amerika

@poster, pls can u post the pic of the girl u are talking about here ,so that we the judge can decide on this case if she ain,t lookin bad he can be 4 real but if she is looking like dat thing,

@$tunna - You miss out on a whole lot. First of all she is not knowing want to marry him, so he can get a green card. She loves him. He is going to school in America and she wants to marry him. I said before that pics was seen on face book of him and his "wife" engagement. He explain to her about the relationship when they first met, but he never said that they got married. What is she getting return from him? Love is what she assume. As far as getting marry so that he can get a green card that is not her intentions, she love him and want to be with him. That is the only reason that I am trying to find out if the marriage is on paper. Because like you know in my country paper means a lot. My friend is not a white women she is a black American woman and I am doing all the lawyer talking and searching trying to find out answers, because she believes him. She does not know how the Nigerian culture works, neither do I. That is the only reason that I am trying to find out. I do not want to hurt this man and I have no problem in him trying to do better for himself. Just be honest that is all I am saying.

@bountimore - This is my business.