WomanRapa:

@DaDoctor; All the previous handles I tried were taken. I just had to use WomanRapa cos that's what my friends tease me with because of her o! Nearly 5 years into the relationship and I still "wrapper" her. Could that be the problem?

But be sincere, una dey chuck una sefs? if yes, very good o!
i smell a BIG EKUTE,

Every woman shud jump at the offer, love being in place, or is she telling me she is considering you via hearing from God,

God speaks as at when due!

TRY THIS

Just tell her it wont work again, that you have tot u dont make a match and you are travelling moro to see anoda ladies parents. SEE IF SHE WONT TELL U GOD IS SPEAKING AS YOU TALKED

@maclatunji; I thought about that but that, to me, could appear like a desperate move from my end. I see it that if she says yes under such conditions, when there is a quarrel (which is inevitable) or things go wrong, I may be making all the effort to save the marriage cos she can claim I "forced" her to do it. Don't you think so?

@DaDoctor; Yes we do and I am the only one that has done that. Part of why walking away isn't easy.

I'm not someone who makes empty threats and if I have to have that conversation with her, I will walk away.

WomanRapa:

@maclatunji; I thought about that but that, to me, could appear like a desperate move from my end. I see it that if she says yes under such conditions, when there is a quarrel (which is inevitable) or things go wrong, I may be making all the effort to save the marriage cos she can claim I "forced" her to do it. Don't you think so?

No, not at all, she can say no if she wants. You are just letting her know that you cannot wait for ever knowing that you have known her for 4 years.

WomanRapa:

@DaDoctor; Yes we do and I am the only one that has done that. Part of why walking away isn't easy.

I'm not someone who makes empty threats and if I have to have that conversation with her, I will walk away.

AT THE COLOURED!! NEVA YOU SAY THAT AGAIN!!! I SERIOUS OH!


WOMEN? WOMEN? WOMEN?

THAT THING NA ELASTIC MEMBRANE O!

ANYWAY, KEEP THE FAITH LIKE BON JOVI TOLD US IN THE LATE SEVENTIES

@maclatunji; I do not see her saying no to that. I know she won't want to lose me. At the same time, I don't want to seemingly give her a marriage ultimatum. If it were that easy, believe me, I would've done it. I don't want to get it wrong. This is the rest of my life we're talking about here. I'm a very happy young man and would love to keep it that way.

@DaDoctor; Better put this way - I was the first and we have been together since then. Good enough?

WomanRapa:

@maclatunji; I do not see her saying no to that. I know she won't want to lose me. At the same time, I don't want to seemingly give her a marriage ultimatum. If it were that easy, believe me, I would've done it. I don't want to get it wrong. This is the rest of my life we're talking about here. I'm a very happy young man and would love to keep it that way.

@DaDoctor; Better put this way - I was the first and we have been together since then. Good enough?

THUMBS UP! CORRECT GUY. BUT REALLY, SHINE UR EYES

@ 190

LMAO!!! Brilliant.

She might get another excuse afterwards. She might want the Ten Commandments this time!

@ OP

As Sharp Man said, you are on a really long thing .

What does "being on a long thing" mean?

WomanRapa:

What does "being on a long thing" mean?

You are being taken for a ride.

@maclatunji; So what would you do if you were me?

Give her an ultimatum I am comfortable with and respect her decision at its expiration.

Could age be a factor for her? She's in the early 20s and I'm in the late 20s.

That leads me to ask the question - what is the ideal age to get married for girls and guys?

*WomanRapa* the name says it all.
@190, who let you out of rehab!
Wait, @190 do you think God will speak when the bed has been defiled. *No silly answer* Or I will report you to Waziri for emotional fraud.

@OP
since you said you've been doing it, no wahala then. You have already tasted the forbidden fruit. I must tell you you can not be doing it and still expect God to speak to her. Carefully let her know what's up and that you need her to make up her mind  on time. She also needs to show commitment now, haba!!

Give her an ultimatum, that you are not getting any younger, that she should hear the voice fast, or you are' on to the next one'.

@190,please don't kill me with laughter. ao u dey take reason sef? se na so u dey do?

OP . . . . . .

You don't need to give her an ultimatum.

Since you said she's in her early twenties. . . . . . i assume u mean 21 or at most 22. She's probably scared of commitment. She thinks she's too young to get married and just trying to buy some time. Her wanting to hear from God is just a polite way of telling you to chill. Did she consult God when she started dating or sleeping with you?

Have you met her parents?. . . not in the sense of a formal introduction. . . . .but do they know she's seeing you?

You need to decide how much longer you can wait because there's a risk of her leaving you. She believes she's got time on her side. I bet if she's above 25 or 26 she won't be saying the stuffs she's saying.

The bottom-line is: She's a child that is not sure what she wants and she does not want to tie herself down. She's probably talking with her friends. . . . . you need to thread with caution but do not give her an ultimatum.

@posta pls 4gt abt d girl.GOD says am d one.

As Christians we know that one day in the human eye is not equivalent to one day in God's eye, she should be ready to wait like forever, God speaks to us through our hearts and its left for us as humans to make the right decision.

@SharpMan; Yes every member of her immediate and extended family know me even though I'm not sure of the extent of their knowledge. Four years is not a short time you know. The problem with waiting is that I have waited two years from when we should've started the process and I feel like she's moving the goalpost. If I wait another X months/years, how am I not sure she'll chicken out again? In your opinion, how long more is a reasonable additional amount of time to wait?

While she wait for the Lord to answer her, marry another woman.

This funnel matter me do not understand it at all.

@rokiatu: It's really not that easy. Keep in mind that I will most likely have to invest another few years in any new person to know if she's right for me like I did in this case.

m

Its not wrong 2 hear 4rm God concernin marriage bt she have 2 understand hw God deals or speaks wit her.He must ve spoken longest time mayb she didnt hear. I think u should put d question b4 her again nd give her dead line 2 present u wit an answer after wish u can take ur decision. I wish u guys d best.  [color=#990000][/color]

WomanRapa:

@SharpMan; Yes every member of her immediate and extended family know me even though I'm not sure of the extent of their knowledge. Four years is not a short time you know. The problem with waiting is that I have waited two years from when we should've started the process and I feel like she's moving the goalpost. If I wait another X months/years, how am I not sure she'll chicken out again? In your opinion, how long more is a reasonable additional amount of time to wait?

OP

That's actually the problem. . . . . . . because only you can determine what time is reasonable. . . . based on your plans.

You need to talk with her. . . . . .ask what the problem REALLY is. Ask her if she's stylishly asking you to go. . . . . . her response might give her away.

But you need to make up ur mind. . . . . . as regards staying or leaving. . . . . . because the longer it takes the more difficult it gets . . . . . . but if you are staying be ready to stay for a long time . . . . and the situation might turn out to be good.

Malaria has said that she is the one so what are you waiting for. Just invite me to una wedding, chikena!

When una de sleep with each other God no speak to am o, i smell croaker fish and obokun fish here, better sit her down and ask her the last time she heard from God on any subject matter.

WomanRapa:

@rokiatu: It's really not that easy. Keep in mind that I will most likely have to invest another few years in any new person to know if she's right for me like I did in this case.

Offcourse it ain't easy. But what if God doesn't answer her until 10yrs? Are you gonna keep waiting?

Let me tell you the bitter truth my dear, she don't want to marry you. Not now, and not in the future. She has doubts in her mind for you, hence the reason she came up with this ridiculous excuse. She don't want to turn you down and break your heart instead she want to waste your time.

I can see you love this girl so I advice you wait for 3 more Months for her so called God to answer her. After then, if you don't get your answer, move on and use that time to fall in love/know another girl instead.

OP
Reading through your posts,
Now you got to realise that threats/lies will never work. Marriage is not forced.

Her not hearing God may be as result of guilt eating her conscience esp if she was a serious christian that engaged in premarital sex. She only needs to make the prayer of David and God will restore her.
Good thing is you still love her after all that.

However her not yielding has got nothing to do with God.That I can assure you.She's either confused or talking to people that are advising her otherwise.

Considering her age,Have you talked to her about her career and goals or you assume just cz you got an 8 digit figure she will automatically forsake everything and get married early and young ? some ladies are not moved by income because all that can go in a flash. What are her dreams/goals besides marriage? They could be an obstacle too. She may want to secure her future and not be dependent on you.

Another thing poster is this.This is just a one sided story.Apart from your tentative age and 8 digit figure we know nothing about your behaviour/personality.She will no tell you direct so as not to hurt your feelings but check that area out.

If you truly love that girl as you claim and you are in your late twenties then it wouldn't hurt to give her a year or two to allow her sort out her life.If not then set her free and let her know that you cannot wait any longer. Be careful not to pressure her into saying yes.You may live to curse the day she did so.

A man can get away with age so stop worrying because you are not even 30! A good thing at the wrong time could end up being a curse and headache.Do not even marry because of the time/money/emotions you invested into a relationship.Marry for the right reason and season

Hearts do get broken and people move on.
Good luck