wait na

odiaero:

This is the  problem with some girls, @OP, she is using u as bait while trying to find maybe a rich dude to marry her, dont worry, she will soon get old while using u as a bait and no man comes to marry, then she will be desperate to agree to your proposal, if am you, then i will tell her too am waiting to hear from God

cold.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to hear from God,but through the years of dating she must have heard from God ,if not why didn't she call it off,she didn't because she needed you for something then. This may be hard to take but she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with you,in the end she will simply tell you that God says she shouldn't marry you! I met my wife (a devouted christian) and when i proposed within 3months of our meeting she simply said yes,i was surprised(becos i was expecting to hear i need to pray to hear from God) but she told me every lady knows whether she will marry you or not once you propose(it's call inner intuition),once there is a doubt she will say she wants to hear from God or if she is confused she will say she wants to hear from God,and most time the confusion is due to the fact she has met someone else,she being listening to advices of others(very imature).

My advice be a man,you don't want to marry a lady who doesn't really want to marry you,it will spell disaster,men are different from women,a man can cope in a marriage with a lady he initially didn't want to marry but a lady if she doesn't have the spark for you even if she marries you,one day one day the man who will cause the spark in her heart will cross her way and gbam! you will have a serious problem on your hand,more devastating than how you will feel now if you just let her go.

So sit her down and creat an atmosphere for her to feel safe to tell you the truth,please forgive her if she tells she may not want to marry you,it isn't the end of the world,there is a blessing in every dissapointment.

Its interesting how all of us having come lashing out at the girl yet all we have is a one sided story.

Nobody is asking why a 21-24 year old fresh graduate is not willing to jump into marriage this early.

I keep asking, why does the poster assume that it is her ultimate goal to marry now?

What happened to career,job etc. Why not let this young girl mature a bit? You want her to be a house wife fully dependant on you?

The line 'waiting on God' is a tactic but what lays in her heart matters most. We do not know and cannot guess!

I even doubt that shes waiting for some rich dude to come along becz the poster says hes got some good money.

What about your personality,character,I mean all the other things that make a man fit for marriage other than age and money?

Its possible to be a very good dating partner but posessing 'husband qualities' is a different thing all together. Her 99th sense could be warning her.

You say you love this gal then please try hard and find out what is holding her back. Suggest giving her time and see her reaction.

I will say again.A good thing or gift at the wrong time could turn out to be your greatest pain.

Marriage is about right time and right reason. If you love someone give them space.[/b]

Note:If you MUST marry now please let her be. And find somebody else that wants to settle quick.

At poster is she a born again if she is not wahala dey

Then she'll have to wait till eternity.

Bros, i will advice you take a walk now, or stay and get a heart break later.

Oh yeah she's ready to get married, just not to you. She's stalling hoping for a bigger better deal to come along, might even have a deadline for that. You're the Fallback dude, the 'Oh well, my knight in shining Hammer didn't come, I suppose this i.d.i.o.t is better than nothing' option. God will speak to her right around the time she perceives herself to be running low on options supply. But since you're desperate, just hang in there.

pendo89:

Its interesting how all of us having come lashing out at the girl yet all we have is a one sided story.

Nobody is asking why a 21-24 year old fresh graduate is not willing to jump into marriage this early.

I keep asking, why does the poster assume that it is her ultimate goal to marry now?

What happened to career,job etc. Why not let this young girl mature a bit? You want her to be a house wife fully dependant on you?

The line 'waiting on God' is a tactic but what lays in her heart matters most. We do not know and cannot guess!

I even doubt that shes waiting for some rich dude to come along becz the poster says hes got some good money.

What about your personality,character,I mean all the other things that make a man fit for marriage other than age and money?

Its possible to be a very good dating partner but posessing 'husband qualities' is a different thing all together. Her 99th sense could be warning her.

You say you love this gal then please try hard and find out what is holding her back. Suggest giving her time and see her reaction.

I will say again.A good thing or gift at the wrong time could turn out to be your greatest pain.

Marriage is about right time and right reason. If you love someone give them space.[/b]

Note:If you MUST marry now please let her be. And find somebody else that wants to settle quick.

If she is not ready for marriage. . . . the she should simply say so.

It is NOT acceptable to lie to someone you have dated for FOUR YEARS. Using God to lie makes it even worse.

What's wrong with. . . . . i'm sorry, but i need to work on my career. i just need some more time.

^^
Exactly.She knows they have dated 4 years and that makes it even more difficult to tell the guy shes not ready.
Oh and he brought the marriage issue 2 yrs after.
She thinks using God here is a good cover but we all know its not.
Its up to the guy to dig that out of her and move on.

Reverse it now. What is so wrong with the guy saying'
I have invested so much into this relationship and since you are not ready to settle with me now, then you leave me with no option but to call it off and date somebody else who is ready. Then wait and hear her response.No more hide and seek its a face to face thing.
It may break the ice for her and make her open up cz this stringing somebody along for years is not healthy at all.

i guess she is a strict christian, dat's d right thing to do *i guess*

Omolola1:

i guess she is a strict christian, dat's d right thing to do *i guess*

Strict Christian that fornicates! Is that the new standard for Christians?

@ Poster, There's nothing wrong  in waiting to hear from God, she should have known all these years if she wants to marry you or not, but i think she doesn't love you enough to marry you, or she has someone else she thinks she loves and would want to settle down with, but whatever comes out of it, be strong and courageous. IT IS WELL.

why is this thread still going on?
@OP you said you make 8 figures annually,I doubt that cos you have the brain for 8 figures and don't have the brain to shout out with funnel as 190 has suggested.Please let this thread close by this comments.

Let her give u a tym frame as to wen God speaks to her,if that's truely wat she's waitin,if she does'nt,well play sum obvious games and she'll come to her senses.

@190 I really love to read your response it makes me laugh even when am down, thanks man

To the poster

Ladies are very wonderful at times,very unpredictable cos most times they don't
Really know what they want.
I have a cousin who dated a lady for like two
Years,he kept asking the lady he wanted to
Meet her parents but seems the lady wasn't
Ready or was afraid of her father before anyone
Knew what was happenn my cousin impregnated another girl and that was the end. I still c the babe
She isn't married yet and I hope she has someone.
I definately knw somehow she might regret her delay.
Your babe probably has a plan A,cos u look like a plan B now.


On a lighter mood if she is still waiting for GOD after this years. Probably she can send a mail
BabaGOD@heaven.com



@190 I really love to read your response it makes me laugh even when am down, thanks man

To the poster

Ladies are very wonderful at times,very unpredictable cos most times they don't
Really know what they want.
I have a cousin who dated a lady for like two
Years,he kept asking the lady he wanted to
Meet her parents but seems the lady wasn't
Ready or was afraid of her father before anyone
Knew what was happenn my cousin impregnated another girl and that was the end. I still c the babe
She isn't married yet and I hope she has someone.
I definately knw somehow she might regret her delay.
Your babe probably has a plan A,cos u look like a plan B now.


On a lighter mood if she is still waiting for GOD after this years. Probably she can send a mail
BabaGOD@heaven.com

@190,God will help u if i crack a rib o,haba, lmaoo

@Poster.
That is an evidence of informing you that she is not ready to marry you. Girls uses that kind of elongation to keep buying time. Dear, Search for no more.
My dear, She didnt have the fone number of God talk-less of hearing from him.
please don't waste ur time waiting on her as she is not ready. Simple.

Women are known to be fickle minded, and at this point, your girlfriend is probably demonstrating such trait. It's good to know that you've waited for her to graduate, as she wished. Maybe this time, the best advice one could give you would be to talk things over with your girlfriend. Tell her what is on your mind, but in a subtle way. Don't raise an angry tone.

liandryden:

Women are known to be fickle minded, and at this point, your girlfriend is probably demonstrating such trait. It's good to know that you've waited for her to graduate, as she wished. Maybe this time, the best advice one could give you would be to talk things over with your girlfriend. Tell her what is on your mind, but in a subtle way. Don't raise an angry tone.

If he does, what will happen? He is in there complaining because he has invested. I always tell these foolss not to invest.Pay school fees and buy bras as if he has the whole shebang. Some parents can be 'skillful', they know how much their daughters consume and how much they spend while a man is funding the whole education and now you call me Okoro!

190's response was definitely hilarious.

@Upendo: I understand your argument but I do not think that the lady has the right to put a full stop to this young guy's life. It's not by force to tie the knot. I wish we' d all stop using this career as an excuse.

@190
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!

On a lighter mood if she is still waiting for GOD after this years. Probably she can send a mail
BabaGOD@heaven.com

BabaGOD@heaven.go

@pendo89, so she is ready to collect money and sleep with a bf and not with a husband? This bullshit happened to me early this year and I decoded and drove her away. Ladies want to settle down with someone they have no knowledge of. Just get the money and come get me.Whorish attitude!This dude is desperate because he just wants to be married and it gonna hurt him unless he does what I did.LET HER GO NOW!

She may actually be waiting to hear from God, but in most cases, it is either there is somebody somewhere or there is something she expect you to have that you have not got yet. I too once dated a girl for 3 years from NYSC that waited to hear from God for that period but unfortunately 2 months after I broke up with her, I found my own will of God too and at exactly 9 months after breaking up with her my wedding card came and that was when Her "god" answer her. Today, I am happily married and she is still single.

quotes from pedro

OP
Reading through your posts,
Now you got to realise that threats/lies will never work. Marriage is not forced.

Her not hearing God may be as result of guilt eating her conscience esp if she was a serious christian that engaged in premarital sex. She only needs to make the prayer of David and God will restore her.
Good thing is you still love her after all that.

However her not yielding has got nothing to do with God.That I can assure you.She's either confused or talking to people that are advising her otherwise.

Considering her age,Have you talked to her about her career and goals or you assume just cz you got an 8 digit figure she will automatically forsake everything and get married early and young ? some ladies are not moved by income because all that can go in a flash. What are her dreams/goals besides marriage? They could be an obstacle too. She may want to secure her future and not be dependent on you.

Another thing poster is this.This is just a one sided story.Apart from your tentative age and 8 digit figure we know nothing about your behaviour/personality.She will no tell you direct so as not to hurt your feelings but check that area out.

If you truly love that girl as you claim and you are in your late twenties then it wouldn't hurt to give her a year or two to allow her sort out her life.If not then set her free and let her know that you cannot wait any longer. Be careful not to pressure her into saying yes.You may live to curse the day she did so.

A man can get away with age so stop worrying because you are not even 30! A good thing at the wrong time could end up being a curse and headache.Do not even marry because of the time/money/emotions you invested into a relationship.Marry for the right reason and season

Hearts do get broken and people move on.
Good luck




nicely said!


I AM REALLY AFRAID OF SITUATION LIKE THIS, I AM AFRAID, REALLY AFRAID! I HATE HEARTBREAK, I HATE TO BE 2ND BEST!

@ Ferdii.

I thought he meant investing emotionally and timewise not financialy.
Now If he paid her fees and really spent money on her then that really sucks.But you know what? I blame him for that. If you are blind enough to invest a lot financially when you are only dating then who do you blame when things don't go the way you expect?
Makes me wonder if the money you spend while courting is a form of dowry that you have to cry foul later?
She is not yet your wife so,do it if you choose to but do not cry later when things fall apart.
Nothing is sure or guaranteed till you say I do so.Love is not blind.

@ enoquin

This lady is not putting a fullstop to poster's life.Its the poster who doesnt want to let her go because he thinks 4 years of courting is just to much to throw away.
He has to accept a heartbreak and like I said if He cannot wait for her then let her go! Theres are plenty of women and he will still spend something on them.At least he will always have  real life story to tell in future and encourage somebody in a similar situation.
key thing is he should not force her into marrying her.

It isn't impossible for God to speak to her concerning the proposal, but it is not necessary. God must have given her wisdom and guidance to know if she should go ahead with the marriage. Marriage is an institution and is recognised by the heavens so I think it is right for her to talk to her God.