Hello everybody,
I am new on Nairaland,and I have spent the whole day going through some of the topics on the family forum.
While I must admit that most of the threads are quite intresting topics,I have a problem with a lot of the responses.
I thought people came here to get aolutions to their problems,but what they recieve in return are cruel insults.I am not talking about the well natured humour,but the outright,rude,sarcastic and snide responses.
Then there are the battles between some male and female groups,where real time insults and abuse are exchanged.
There is nothing wrong with disagreements during a discussion,but resorting to insulting peoples parents and lineage is certainly taking it too far.
The family section of NL should be populated by mature and experienced posters.We have to realise we can not all agree with one anothers viewpoint,but I feel we can agree with one another in a polite way without any vulgar and rude responses.
Please people what do you feel about my observation?
Why all the insults flying all over the family section?[b][/b]

as i once said:
some people come to NL to get the steam out from their stressful lives. they are bottling up with whatever they do/have in real life and come here to release their frustration. its no wonder that its the same people who are quick to attack and insult anyone who dares say something that they dont approve of.
the sad truth is that many of these same people would be "angels" in real life but helas. . . . . . . . .

^^^
But sir they could disagree in a polite and civil way and still get rid of the stress do you agree?

^^you are talking about civilized people with stress. these ones that come here have so much hate/anger in them that you can just say:"sorry i disagree" and they will insult your father and mother.

imagine that: a person is always being pushed around by their spouse, always being belittle, never have a voice in their r/ship or made feel unworthy. that person would come here and they will become the person they've always hope to be. any sign of disaggreement will make them blow a fuse and resort to insults.

um, i think i've had enough of the sanctimonious rev fathers preaching rubbish all over the site.

if you dont like the way people express themselves here, then feel free to leave and go somewhere else where everybody is polite, ok?

^^^
Madam actually I am a female.
And you are not without guilt,what i am saying is try to be civil when you disagree with someone,see it doesn't hurt.
And I think the way you responded to my post was a little harsh.
Comon sister,we are friends eh?

@inzaneclan, One thing need to understand is this : Nairaland is an anonymous forum where people feel free to air there views with the liberty of hiding their true identities. Unlike fb and other forums where you can somewhat trace the posters, most here are faceless and thus, they bare their true opinions other than "watered down politically correct sentiments". Furthermore, as much as you try to appear "civil,cool and collected", there will always be people who would capitalize on that and will reply you in a manner that leaves you no choice than draw pistols and fire salvos. This is something you'll experience and get accustomed to with time. There are people that will spill vile comments here and even if you try to "reason" with them, they'll simply use you as a scapegoat! You'll get used to it. Trust me on that. In between, I kinda prefer people airing how the TRULY feel (negative or positive) rather than people typing "civil" comments that everyone wants to hear. This forum would be boring without the burning flames you know. If you doubt me,open a thread about BARNEY and see how many comments you get, lol. Cheers.

harakiri:

@inzaneclan, One thing need to understand is this : Nairaland is an anonymous forum where people feel free to air there views with the liberty of hiding their true identities. Unlike fb and other forums where you can somewhat trace the posters, most here are faceless and thus, they bare their true opinions other than "watered down politically correct sentiments". Furthermore, as much as you try to appear "civil,cool and collected", there will always be people who would capitalize on that and will reply you in a manner that leaves you no choice than draw pistols and fire salvos. This is something you'll experience and get accustomed to with time. There are people that will spill vile comments here and even if you try to "reason" with them, they'll simply use you as a scapegoat! You'll get used to it. Trust me on that. In between, I kinda prefer people airing how the TRULY feel (negative or positive) rather than people typing "civil" comments that everyone wants to hear. This forum would be boring without the burning flames you know. If you doubt me,open a thread about BARNEY and see how many comments you get, lol. Cheers.

Thank you for your comments sir.However I feel there is too much negative energy being expended in these internet fights.Why can't we generate positive energy to each other.We should be one big happy family,helping each other out.
Maybe this thread I opened sounds like Barney to most members of the forum and that is why they are not responding?Please do I have to be controversial and abusive to get responds to my thread?

I agree with you poster. This is the family section and one would expect that people here will show some restraint and decorum in their choice of words but that is clearly not d case. I'm not without guilt here cos Annoying people like Harakiri and Mobo and others have a way of bringing out d worst in us but I hope that from now on, now that someone has pointed it out, we could try to be a little more civil.

@OP you are very right!Things were not this bad,the family section used to be a very sane section.i don't want to say gone are the days.I sincerely hope with this thread things will be resolved.Can we please be civil?

@ OP
My sister, you are an angel. What you have typed here is what exactly what was on my mind for some time, after reading certain posts. I was thinking about how much some people can stoop (I cannot imagine how for things as simple as not agreeing to their point of view can trigger some of the most venomous comments) to the level of street fighters. I do understand people losing temper and places where they could have said a 'shut up' or  at the most 'go to hell', they start with showering abuses on parents and grandparents  They claim to be this and that, yet type the most atrocious things on earth, even cussing 10 generations (can you imagine, people who are not yet born are being cussed and dissed for god knows what). Name calling and obscenities in other sections can be justified, to a certain extent given the nature of the sections. Sadly family section where maturity is expected the most, you see the most horrendous and heinous comments. If so much of anger and hatred is there within a person, he/she needs medical intervention asap coz how much ever they try to hide behind their facades, this kind of anger is hard to hide and they can be a looming danger to their dear and near ones. I wonder with all those rules and things written, why the moderators remain silent too.

tpia@:

um, i think i've had enough of the sanctimonious rev fathers preaching rubbish all over the site.

if you dont like the way people express themselves here, then feel free to leave and go somewhere else where everybody is polite, ok?

You couldn't have said it better.

@Poster
You and your fellow supporters from top to bottom , no get work. Get a job or better still stay away from the family section if you cannot stand the heat.

All these religious threads sef.

@inzaneclan

There are a lot of frustrated  l.esbians on this forum who spend most of their time trying to make others miserable. You have met the some of the leaders here, their more restrained partners would not come out to challenge you but believe me they are watching.
The d. ildo acrobats take it as a point of honor to be as obnoxious as they can, in fact the more foul they are the happier they feel. Just ask the posters who have basically told you to go f, k yourself.

Hate is a strong word.Who get energy to hate on internet "programs and viruses"

LOL @ Replies first

@Topic,some people can be mischievous sha.They would cuss you out in other sections then come on here and start acting up when they are dished back their sauce.

Some questions and threads people throw on here can be quite irritating and sometimes mad annoying.How do you justify/be nice when replying such threads?

Some ppl believe or assume they know it all.Anyone with contrary views is either silly,illiterate or both.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-99703.0.html

Happy Reading^

Poster

there's a report to moderator button somewhere on your screen.

Use it.

And like i said, if the discussions here annoy you too much, then look for a forum more suitable to your taste.

Family forum of all places.

Tribalism section you overlooked, but want to start making noise with your co-criminals about family section which is even one of the quieter sections on the forum.

Orishirishi.

Tell the moderators here to do their job, and you'll have nothing to complain about.

Hmm, Me I just dey come here to check on the wellbeing of my wives

inzaneclan:

Hello everybody,
I am new on Nairaland,and I have spent the whole day going through some of the topics on the family forum.

inzaneclan:

^^^
Madam actually I am a female.

care to explain how and why you're calling me madam when you clearly see the (m) in my profile.

anything we should know about you?

na oversabi dey always destroy una.

ifyalways:

Hate is a strong word.Who get energy to hate on internet "programs and viruses"

LOL @ Replies first

@Topic,some people can be mischievous sha.They would cuss you out in other sections then come on here and start acting up when they are dished back their sauce.

Some questions and threads people throw on here can be quite irritating and sometimes mad annoying.How do you justify/be nice when replying such threads?

Some ppl believe or assume they know it all.Anyone with contrary views is either silly,illiterate or both.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-99703.0.html

Happy Reading^

@Ifyalways,
Thank you for your explanation.I read the thread and learnt a lot,however that does not mean we should not be civil to ourselves if we do not agree on certain things.

@ Madam Tpia,
I know you are trying to break me in,but I am afraid you will not be very successful.

^^knock yourself out.

if you have any more complaints, let us know.

gather your fellow criminals and whiners around you as well.

Johndoe100:

@inzaneclan

There are a lot of frustrated  l.esbians on this forum who spend most of their time trying to make others miserable. You have met the some of the leaders here, their more restrained partners would not come out to challenge you but believe me they are watching.
The d. ildo acrobats take it as a point of honor to be as obnoxious as they can, in fact the more foul they are the happier they feel. Just ask the posters who have basically told you to go f, k yourself.

@ poster - this writer speaks truth.

seconded!

hiss.

^^ yeah - ok

harakiri:

@inzaneclan, One thing need to understand is this : Nairaland is an anonymous forum where people feel free to air there views with the liberty of hiding their true identities. Unlike fb and other forums where you can somewhat trace the posters, most here are faceless and thus, they bare their true opinions other than "watered down politically correct sentiments". Furthermore, as much as you try to appear "civil,cool and collected", there will always be people who would capitalize on that and will reply you in a manner that leaves you no choice than draw pistols and fire salvos. This is something you'll experience and get accustomed to with time. There are people that will spill vile comments here and even if you try to "reason" with them, they'll simply use you as a scapegoat! You'll get used to it. Trust me on that. In between, I kinda prefer people airing how the TRULY feel (negative or positive) rather than people typing "civil" comments that everyone wants to hear. This forum would be boring without the burning flames you know. If you doubt me,open a thread about BARNEY and see how many comments you get, lol. Cheers.

This writer too speaks TRUTH

poster is "new" to nl but somehow s/he magically knew to address another poster with an [m] attached to the profile, as madam.

onye ara.

like i said before, if you cant use the report to moderator function, find another forum.

if anybody's presence or comments here annoys you, get to stepping or is it by force to be here.

nowhere else to go perhaps?

Johndoe100:

@inzaneclan

There are a lot of frustrated  l.esbians on this forum who spend most of their time trying to make others miserable. You have met the some of the leaders here, their more restrained partners would not come out to challenge you but believe me they are watching.
The d. ildo acrobats take it as a point of honor to be as obnoxious as they can, in fact the more foul they are the happier they feel. Just ask the posters who have basically told you to go f, k yourself.

HA!HA!! Thank you sir,While I do not agree that they are frustrated L.esbians as you put it,I see that some of them radiate a lot of negative energy on the forum,and use it to deplete the positive energy of others.
As for me I believe in a united and strong family section.No amount of abuse can make me change my mind.

@ Poster

I have learned - and I have taken my knocks like the rest of us - knocks that are smooth and not so smooth.

That we are "what we write"

Those that are on NL - is the "person they are in real life"

NL - might allow them to "stretch and exaggerate who they are a little bit because of the anonymity factor"

But trust me - if they are ignorant, rude, harsh, foul - those qualities are NOT COMING FROM AN ABYSMAL non-existent entity.

It is coming from the mind of the person who eats, reads, writes, shyts, talks in "real life"

So what you are reading on NL - is to a large degree - the same individual you would meet "in person."

So my gratitude here is that I only have to meet that idiot(s) online - I thank God that I don't have suffer the individual in my "quality circles" up close and personal.

I am grateful for NL - the goons can remain on one side of the line and you can remain on the other side.  Never the two shall meet.  So basically poster be glad that they can sling their insults online versus your having to disturb your harmony, peace and tranquility having to run into the ignoramus in person.

my "quality circles"

@Madam shyone,

Thank you for making me feel welcome,appreciated.I believe so much in positive thinking.Negativity has no place in my life.Life is full of ups and downs,but like a kid attending school for the first time,you can not expect everyone to like or love you.

^^ Rich - thanks - I don't know of what you speak - but thanks for the thoughts you directed my way.

It took a long time for me to learn, test and realize that when you meet a nasty individual - IT ISN'T PERSONAL - you are just meeting "who they are"

You didn't do anything wrong - this is who they have developed themselves to be, this is natural for them, it is their level.  You can either "join them on their level" - which will stunt your development, waste your time and block/delay you from evolving into what you need to be for yourself and for your family.

What successful person have you met that was negative?  I have never met a successful negative person.  You have only yourself to blame if you "allow them to catch you up in their bullshyt, "  I made that mistake before, but learned right away.

When they come at you with their crap - realize that "their mate, family, friends" are getting it 100 times worse.  If you can be attacked on a forum by a stranger.  Just imagine those who "know them" - are going through "hell."  Remember "familiarity breeds contempt."  Those who know them - can't stand them - as they have to deal with that monster(s) everyday - NL allow us to watch the "3 Ring Circus" from a distance - their mates/children need to be pitied and need our prayers.

And that's truth.  Remember - it's not you - not at all.  Nothing personal at all - make sure you don't take anything personal.  These are miserable individuals who don't know how to "change their nightmares" so they take it out on us on NL.  Instead of developing themselves and asking us to share our knowledge so they can self-develop - they hurl insults and pick fights - because that is their way of coping with their world - to lash out at others - that is the highest level they have developed themselves to reach and they maintain that high level (they see nothing wrong with their behavior - it is normal in their world - dysfunctionality is fully functioning for them) - yet it is a very low level (to us).

Just step over them and step around them when they start spewing their nonsense and their garbage.  Keep it moving.  Face Front - they aren't worth looking back at.  You have alot to do with your life - keep moving forward.