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Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? - Romance - Nairaland

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Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 7:57pm On Aug 27, 2011
I am married with a Nigerian man and everything is ok with us. The only thing I do not understand ist ,that he doesn´t want me to have facebook or other contact with his friends and even his relatives I got to know, when we visited his family. I really do not understand this, because he is not like that with my friends and I liked talking with some friends of him very much. Lately, his uncle asked for friendship on fb and he didn´t even want me to add him! Now I wonder, if this is a cultural problem, you know, I do not want him to be angry with me, but I do not understand that. Can probably anybody tell me, if this is common among Nigerian men?
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by 190smh: 7:59pm On Aug 27, 2011


Green card services are not easy to come by

Dont worry you wont understand, Just do as he says undecided
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by Russialane(m): 8:02pm On Aug 27, 2011
lol thats the deal cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool green card
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by MrsChima(f): 8:03pm On Aug 27, 2011
Wow!  That's a red flag.  If you are married to him legally and you aren't able to have his family contact information further tell YOU to watch your back.  

I can see if it was random guys it is YOUR HUSBAND'S FAMILY MEMBERS.  Hmm.
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by r231(m): 8:04pm On Aug 27, 2011
190smh:



Green card services are not easy to come by

Dont worry you wont understand, Just do as he says undecided


lmao grin grin grin grin
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by Goldieluks: 8:05pm On Aug 27, 2011
is he igbo?? undecided lipsrsealed
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 8:07pm On Aug 27, 2011
I asked for a serious answer, you know, in Nigeria he had no problem with me talking with people, he hasn´t here, too. It´s just that he doesn´t want me to talk to his people when I am not there?? Our marriage was no greencard thing (anyway it´s not called greencard in my country and he could have had one without a marriage, too.)
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by 190smh: 8:08pm On Aug 27, 2011
r231:

lmao grin grin grin grin




Trust me r231

Im not letting you talk to my oyinbo before you steal her from me angry angry
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 8:10pm On Aug 27, 2011
and, no, he is yoruba, and anyway it is somehow as if he was jealous about every other Nigerian man I get to know, althougt he is not about my country´s men, I asked for serious answers, because I try to understand that and as he is the only African man I ever knew, it is slightly difficult for me,
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by r231(m): 8:10pm On Aug 27, 2011
wildwater:

I asked for a serious answer, you know, in Nigeria he had no problem with me talking with people, he hasn´t here, too. It´s just that he doesn´t want me to talk to his people when I am not there?? Our marriage was no greencard thing (anyway it´s not called greencard in my country and he could have had one without a marriage, too.)

you better dont let dat man catch you on NL

dis one dat don let you be friend with his friends and family on fb

now you come to the Nairaland that is the same size as Nigeria grin grin grin grin
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by 190smh: 8:12pm On Aug 27, 2011
wildwater:

and, no, he is yoruba, and anyway it is somehow as if he was jealous about every other Nigerian man I get to know, althougt he is not about my country´s men, I asked for serious answers, because I try to understand that and as he is the only African man I ever knew, it is slightly difficult for me,


It is a NIGERIAN THING

OK - Now you've heard - I hope your body feels much better cheesy cheesy
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 8:12pm On Aug 27, 2011
@190smh: You mean, he is afraid any of his own friends/ family could try to get between us But that is stupid. I am not the one to look for other men and that he knows, anyway in that case he would have more reason to be afraid of my own country´s men, wouldn´t he?
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by 190smh: 8:15pm On Aug 27, 2011
wildwater:

@190smh: You mean, he is afraid any of his own friends/ family could try to get between us But that is silly. I am not the one to look for other men and that he knows, anyway in that case he would have more reason to be afraid of my own country´s men, wouldn´t he?


Im not saying, You'll mess up

But he obviously has his reasons for the best of you both

if you dont go looking for them, they could come looking for you

so for the intrest of you and your man and your relationship - Please do as he says - NA BEG I DEY cheesy cheesy
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by MrsChima(f): 8:15pm On Aug 27, 2011
Poor thing.
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by Pweety4me(f): 8:15pm On Aug 27, 2011
Nigerian men and their skeletons
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by 190smh: 8:16pm On Aug 27, 2011
Nigerian women and their cheapidity cheesy cheesy
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 8:17pm On Aug 27, 2011
@r231: But I am not posting my name here anyway  grin , so how should he know. And this forum recommended a friend to me (ggggggg, for getting cooking receipts to improve my knowledge of nigerian cooking, can´t serve him our dishes all the time, can I? :-) ), anyway I just thought I could ask without my name, because I do not really understand his point. He didn´t really mind me talking to his people when I was there, although he always wanted to know what they asked, when he had to go out and some friend of him was with me all the time, when his mother or him were not around.
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by Goldieluks: 8:19pm On Aug 27, 2011
that man must be hiding something very deep,from you.
better be vigilant.
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 8:20pm On Aug 27, 2011
@Mrs.Chima: But he is just like that with his male friends/ family. He doesn´t complain me talking to his mother, with whom I come along quite well or his sister-in-law.
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by 190smh: 8:20pm On Aug 27, 2011
Goldieluks:

that man must be hiding something very deep,from you.
better be vigilant.


Goldielucks im hiding something from you too  embarassed  embarassed
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by 190smh: 8:20pm On Aug 27, 2011
wildwater if he doesnt want you rolling wth males then roll with females

is that too much of a problem

i dont see this issue as a problem
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by Mynd44: 8:21pm On Aug 27, 2011
They probably don't support your marriage and he is trying to protect you
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by claremont(m): 8:27pm On Aug 27, 2011
@OP: Listen to your husband since he is the one you are married to, not his family. Ignore "bad-belle" haters!

BTW, there is nothing cultural about jealousy, neither is there anything that specifically links jealousy to Nigerian men.
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 8:27pm On Aug 27, 2011
No, his uncles even both gave us very expensive wedding presents, I was really a little shy about that because I know, Nigeria is not that well with money usually and one of them came even to the airport to say goodbye, when I had to leave. And you know, I asked his mum straight, before we married, if it was ok for her and she said no, she supports the marriage. (Ähm, problems my family, not hers, they are very angry, but for this I am quite stubborn) (But if his mum had said no, I probably would not have married him anyway. I was quite releaved, when the rest of his relatives were very nice, when we got acquainted, invited us several times to there house and all saied, I should come back. Now it is him, who want´s to break the contact, except for his mother and I do not understand, anyway I liked his people and I liked his country, with all the problems Nigeria has.)
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 8:30pm On Aug 27, 2011
@claremont, I do anyway. But I am sad, because I really liked his people and how should I look into the mirror, because I promised we come back and he doesn´t want to and I promised to stay in contact and he doesn´t want to, and the only explanation he gave me was "I know my people" and that I was to "sweet-tempered".
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by MrsChima(f): 8:42pm On Aug 27, 2011
wildwater:

@Mrs.Chima: But he is just like that with his male friends/ family. He doesn´t complain me talking to his mother, with whom I come along quite well or his sister-in-law.

Sorry Wildwater I do not share your experience maybe because I took my time and got to know my husband and his family males and all.  My experience is different.

It is still something fishy with that.  Just be watchful that all I can say.  Good Luck.
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by Mynd44: 8:45pm On Aug 27, 2011
^^^
When a Nigerian man tells you he knows his people then you should try to believe him because they can be sick.
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 8:58pm On Aug 27, 2011
Anyway, I didn´t see any of his people behaving "sick" except of one, who tried to get money from me, but that was during our stay and I told him at once, so the one would not come anymore. So if it is no "cultural" thing, that perhaps it is not proper for me to talk to his male friends without him, because anyway, there were not many women (just boys in that household, no girls) around except for the pastors wife and the like, then it´s just simple he does not trust me. cry
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by MrsChima(f): 8:59pm On Aug 27, 2011
You pretty much made up your mind about what it is you are asking.

A few Nigerian men and women told you the deal so either deal with it or don't
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 9:14pm On Aug 27, 2011
It may be a little difficult to get to know his family better, with living nine hours flight apart. Can´t go on vacation for more than three weeks in one piece. But his sister in law never had such troubles with his brother, but she didn´t go to meet his family anyway, what I insisted on, because I said it´s enough that my family is mad about the marriage, I at least want to get to know his people and hope they will agree. And now, his family and people are nice and agree with the marriage and everything, and he doesn´t want to keep contact? Who the hell would understand that?
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by harakiri(m): 9:25pm On Aug 27, 2011
Sometimes, I don't get women. If the guy has a nonchalant attitude towards their social interactions, they complain that he isn't attentive and wonder if he really cares about them. If he shows interest in who she interacts with, then he is labelled as a jealous insecure man. Funny thing is, this kinda things happens worldwide but somehow, the poster has labelled it as a "Nigerian" thing. As if we are an alien species from outer space.
Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 9:33pm On Aug 27, 2011
angry Why don´t you read all I posted? I do not complain, I try to understand why. And this is his relatives, too, not any stupid guys from northpole. Anyway I can live with his family being angry, because anyway, we are the two who have decided to live together, but it´s HIS people. And I do not like being impolite to my partners family.

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