r231:

it depends. . . . if one of them is not in the country or have a way of getting there

my brother had one of those cus he left his fiancee when he traveled and when everything is sorted he went bck home for the wedding

not a big deal

agitator:

more of an igbo culture. bride can even marry without haven't met the hubby.

lurkee:

Yay!  I made it to the first page. Hoping more people who do not think this is weird would chime in.
I still do not get why someone thought this is a good idea. As in, "Oh I cannot make my traditional wedding to my fiancée, I would send my brother instead."  The poor bride (or groom) has to then explain to her kids that their dad could not make the wedding so the man in the picture is representing him.  Weird! 

gijaney:

the original practice was to marry when the intended groom was away at war. now it has become something  else

Kc0022000:

Next topic please, why is this on the front page?

Maybe because I am new?  Why did you feel the need to come here and say next topic though? You could have easily clicked on another topic and saved yourself the hassle.

lurkee:

Maybe because I am new?  Why did you feel the need to come here and say next topic though? You could have easily clicked on another topic and saved yourself the hassle.

r231:

new ma arse. . . . P4M in the making

Kc0022000:

what is special being new to the forum ? Shut your trap for once. who are you for the forum to justify why people take part in abstention wedding. Forum members above gave you reason so what is your problem? This kind of topic made front page and your happy u made front page, I think the moderators in here should start looking out 

lurkee:

I actually did not ask people to justify their choices to me, I asked for an explanation. I think the mods moved the thread and also changed the title. I was just curious. I did not mean to cause offence to anybody.

There is nothing wrong in asking for more opinions on a  matter so you have no right to tell me to "shut my trap". If my happiness at being new and making front page bothered you so much, just keep it moving.

blacklion:

This is why you used to hear about parents in the village marrying wives for their sons in the township or abroad even without the guy's knowledge and the woman is shipped to him afterwards. This is also why you to hear about a girl coming home from the farm or school one day to meet the new in-laws paying bride-price to her father, meanwhile she has not even set eyes before on the man that is supposed to be her husband.

blacklion:

In the modern era, marriage in absentia is mostly done by those based abroad who cannot travel to Nigeria for the traditional marriage either due to costs or because they don't have valid immigration status and may not be able to return to their base.

However, marriage in absentia has always been part and parcel of the customary law of marriage in Nigeria. Keep in mind that marriage in African culture is primarily a union between extended families and not the couple per se.  The concept of marriage as a union between an individual man and an individual woman to the exclusion of others (including natal or extended family) is a novelty which became popular in Nigeria relatively recently due to Western religious and cultural influence.

Therefore, in most Nigerian cultures, there is no absolute requirement that both or any one spouse must be physically present for a traditional marriage to be valid. In fact, both spouses can be absent. Mind you, Nigerian parents historically had the right to select spouses for their children and even perform the traditional marriage ceremonies without the child being physically present. This is why you used to hear about parents in the village marrying wives for their sons in the township or abroad even without the guy's knowledge and the woman is shipped to him afterwards. This is also why you to hear about a girl coming home from the farm or school one day to meet the new in-laws paying bride-price to her father, meanwhile she has not even set eyes before on the man that is supposed to be her husband.