I am an American woman who is in love with a wonderful man from Nigeria. He lives abroad, and we are going to see him in December. We have been good friends online/phone for over 5 years. He writes faithfully and sends birthday/holiday cards always. He wants to get married, and I can't wait. What I worry about is that I have a "mixed" daughter who is 5 years old and we are not sure where we should live. I just want to be with him, and be a good wife. However we must consider that in Greece, they only teach Greek in the schools, unless you want to pay ungodly amounts of money for private American schools. He has told me that Nigeria teaches English in the schools, so the language barrier would not be such an issue as in Greece. My daughter has wanted to go to Africa since she was 2 years old and he is teaching me Igbo. I only worry about how she will be treated there. Race has never been an issue here due to the diversity in cultures (especially in California) and she is a beautiful child (inside and out) and everyone who meets her, loves her. Any thoughts or advice would really be appreciated. I am new to this site, but a lot of the posting have really helped me. Thanks!!

Hi, Michele

Before I dole out some key points, I need to know some few things.

I see you made reference to Greece, is he in Greece presently? Why is he moving y'all to Nigeria?

Have you guys met before now, or this will be the first time you'll be meeting, physically?

Exactly - why the reference to Greece suddenly, and why is he moving y'all to Nigeria - u can consider visiting, thats good, but why not let him relocate to America or Greece instead? And to say, race is never an issue in Nigeria - noone realy gives a hute what colour your skin is - so no problem there. I am aware there are a lot of international schools in Nigeria - American schools, British schools, Turkish schools, German schools - etc. So schooling should not be a problem, bingo -

I will advice you b4 you make such a move with a child at that matter, you go and take a look,

take a look at what?

Take a look at what she is going in for.
A Mother cannot just relocate to a place she has never been to and with a man she has never seen

If what your saying is true HisMichelle, then i suggest you need to get your head out of the sand. Please dont do anything you will regret, as ur going to affect your daughters life aswell.

Why dont you find a relationship with some1 you have actually met face to face first, a long distance relationship is different to one where u see the guy all the time.

What if you go to Nigeria and find that you cannot stand this guy, and he doesnt meet up to your expectations. Moving a child from place to place is very distressing. Be sure you trust this person before you make any decisions.

And more than that people that relocate also desolve the household , give up their arpartment or even sell off their house.

Please leave your daughter in the US and go visit Nigeria. Like mamaput said, you can't just pack and go there with your child just like that. You have to be sure of where you're taking her to.

Again, if you have assets in yankee, DON'T sell! I wonder why he wants you guys to move to Nigeria and also you guys haven't seen each other and you've known for 5 years? Hmm! Anyway, don't be carried away with love. Put your eyes down and be very observant!

To Greece, its one of the most expensive countries in Europe,
Generally the Greek people like to stick to themselves.
I will be more worried about beening black in Greece than in Nigeria,
Their alphabets are not like ours so its not only the launage you have to worry about.

Abeg hismichele relocate joo. Dont mind the shit packers on this thread. Nigeria is a developed country with too many "fancy jobs". There is nothing like corruption, we recently celebrated 100yrs of uninterrupted power supply, our airports are not cattle sheds and our politicians are angels.

Sell your house and assets, pack your daughter and relocate to Nigeria to meet an igbo man you have never seen. What kind of love can be better than that. Did i also mention that igbos are perhaps the most upright people in the world?

PTH, get off the grass

tnaidaR:

PTH, get off the grass

just helping a sister here. Her faceless husband to be is probably tired of packing greek shit and wants to return to Nigeria.

only get off the grass? Eat it as well @PTH

Are you sure the husband is not "Paw Paw" ?  

I-man:

Are you sure the husband is not "Paw Paw" ?

i could have sworn it was him.

I-man:

Are you sure the husband is not "Paw Paw" ?

Hey dude, that was just too funny. I guess paw paw will be full of hate toward you right now. _{Make una take am easy with paw paw ooooooo, that kid is frustrated as it is already, don't add to his misery plz.}

Chai! Who's this "paw-paw" guy?

tnaidaR:

Chai! Who's this "paw-paw" guy?

paw paw is a tropical african fruit.

lol

At least you can wear highheel shoes to pack shit in Nigeria

pawpaw is a kind of fruit
swweet like sugar
yellow like fanta
everybody likes pawpaw

lmao. . aloib, you're even more lost that I am


PTH, you see what you've caused?

lol at aloib. we add energy   to the last verse  

paw paw is a kind of fruitttttt
paw paw is a kind of fruit o
sweet liki sugar
yellow like fanta
everybody likes pawpaw, Energy

Poster, go alone make sure you like what you see before you relocate. most like it some don't so tread softly sister.
your post wasn't clear enough. but still you don't move at once.

tnaidaR:

lmao. . aloib, you're even more lost that I am


PTH, you see what you've caused?

lol, i knw, was just tryn to spice up the thread

lol at energy, na chop yansh chop yansh those over ripe pawpaw dey give pesin o

no it gives you otolo (cleared belle)

Thank you everyone!!! This has been so interesting.LOL He actually lives in Greece, and has for 5 years. His whole family is in Nigeria except one brother who lives in Napoli. He wants my daughter to have a good education, so Greece is probably not the best, as they do not teach English there in school. He is willing to move to the US but I am wanting to move to Nigeria. We have not met face to face, but we have been friends online and over phone for 5 years. He is a very sweet man. As for staying here and dating someone close to home, been there, done that, and I've had it with dating men in America. They say anything they want, but do not mean it. They only want someone who looks like a model, unless you make a lot of money, then they only want you for your money and as soon as either is gone, so are they.

In my heart, I know I would love for my daughter to grow up outside the US. I am going to Greece in December to meet him. We are staying for a month, so we can have time to see where it goes from there. I'm just trying to figure out what my options are a head of time.

So, is the paw paw a good fruit??

You're being incredibly naive. For all you know, this may could have a wife in Greece or in Nigeria. It sounds like you are settling for this long distance man by default. You're not there to really know the type of person he is. Please listen to what the previous posters are saying. If you take your daughter to another country, you will uproot her and there's a chance you may not even get along with your long distance boyfriend. If you're still sure this is it, why not go visit him (leave your daughter with a trusted family member) to get to know him. The other concern here is you want to make sure he's someone you can trust with your daughter as well. Also have you been to Nigeria before? If you have some good Nigerian friends, why not go visit Nigeria?

even you can settle in nigeria without him. work and safe some money buy a home in one of the quite place and live with your daughter. you should be fine instead of focusing your energy on a guy you've been talking with on phone/online for 5years. Shine ya eyes, sistah.

Smiles, thanks!! I would only move for him if we got married. I am not foolish and not young. That is why I'm going to meet him and spend a month with him and see what happens after that. I think it's a great idea to move to Nigeria eventually, I would want to know some people there first. All my family is here, but if I knew people there, I would not be so lonely. Both my youngest daughter and I love to travel, so we'll go either way someday!! In the meantime, he is teaching me Igbo, and I am learning alot online, I love the internet!!

Nigeria is a place you can only love or hate.
I advise you to visit Nigeria and see for your self.
If you have no skills i advice you not to go at all.
Most people that i know that go back just do not move like that.
Most of the time the husband goes first to see if he can build up something b4 calling for his family. If it dose not work out , he can always come back.
Look for Nigerwives  Nigeria in Googel . Am not sure they are up dated. They are foreign wives married to Nigerians living in Nigeria and they have a web side.