Marraige is a mistake every man should make.

mide14:

I am Married. I laughed my heart out reading dayokanu's reasons,
From what have read, i can see most men wanting their freedom and the likes of it. Personally bn a female who loves her privacy i would say i can understand what the men are talking about. I have a room to myself but i cant sleep in it cos they say when u married, u and your husband have to share the same bed, but really i just want a bit of my space ( i don't see how it affects how i love him) but just to please him i spend every night in his room. Anyways, for me sometimes, i feel glad that am married and grateful. But i spend the better part wondering if marriage is truly necessary specially when i face issues with getting him to participate in certain things in d house. Maybe mine is cos am a very independent minded individual and like things done quickly and nicely. My husband on the other hand can spend a whole week deliberating on an issue dat have already thought of and decided with diff options at hand self.
I do love my son, he makes the whole marriage worthy too but seriously dis topic lingers on my mind like daily, I feel marriage can be too much of a struggle at times. Unfortunately dis is an issue that is so delicate you cant even discuss with your spouse cos he/she might think u no longer interested in the Marriage,

Sometimes I feel that way too. I think our society isn't helping matters. There is a lot of strain on the family. The economy is so harsh and there is a limit each person can take. Our men generally don't like stress after going through a hard day at work. Whereas, d women resumes extra work after she closes from the office. All these will certainly put a lot of strain on the home. So, we need to manage things well.

u read my mind Tgirl4real

mide14:

I am Married. I laughed my heart out reading dayokanu's reasons,
From what have read, i can see most men wanting their freedom and the likes of it. Personally bn a female who loves her privacy i would say i can understand what the men are talking about. I have a room to myself but i cant sleep in it cos they say when u married, u and your husband have to share the same bed, but really i just want a bit of my space ( i don't see how it affects how i love him) but just to please him i spend every night in his room. Anyways, for me sometimes, i feel glad that am married and grateful. But i spend the better part wondering if marriage is truly necessary specially when i face issues with getting him to participate in certain things in d house. Maybe mine is cos am a very independent minded individual and like things done quickly and nicely. My husband on the other hand can spend a whole week deliberating on an issue dat have already thought of and decided with diff options at hand self.
I do love my son, he makes the whole marriage worthy too but seriously dis topic lingers on my mind like daily, I feel marriage can be too much of a struggle at times. Unfortunately dis is an issue that is so delicate you cant even discuss with your spouse cos he/she might think u no longer interested in the Marriage,

Your marriage has a problem.

Tgirl4real:

Sometimes I feel that way too. I think our society isn't helping matters. There is a lot of strain on the family. The economy is so harsh and there is a limit each person can take. Our men generally don't like stress after going through a hard day at work. Whereas, d women resumes extra work after she closes from the office. All these will certainly put a lot of strain on the home. So, we need to manage things well.

when marriage becomes a struggle where one party now resents the other . . . wahala dey. Pple should not marry because they have reached that age.

i think our mindset as nigerians is making things harder than it should be in present age. we put too much emphasis on my role and your role.
i'd prefer a marriage where we both have no husbandy and wifey roles.

@mide14
when you start wanting space in your marriage, i think you should check your relationship again.

hmmm

@OP

hmmm

I'm not too keen into marrying sha. I feel that this generation of men dont value marriage.

armyofone:

i think our mindset as nigerians is making things harder than it should be in present age. we put too much emphasis on my role and your role.
i'd prefer a marriage where we both have no husbandy and wifey roles.

@mide14
when you start wanting space in your marriage, i think you should check your relationship again.

So you want to be the husband and the man tying wrapper around the house.

No problem if you can bring bacon large enough for all of us

Make up your mind Dayo! Do you want a wife/marriage or a bedmate/contract? 

so right . . . many of them.
miss ya, how are you

Ileke-IdI:

hmmm

@OP

hmmm

I'm not too keen into marrying sha. I feel that this generation of men dont value marriage.

armyofone:

i think our mindset as nigerians is making things harder than it should be in present age. we put too much emphasis on my role and your role.
i'd prefer a marriage where we both have no husbandy and wifey roles.

There is no way a marriage can be successful if neither partner is aware of their roles. However i see something that is glaringly missing in these marriages - both partners dont see like they have much in common. I will repeat what an aunt of mine once said - marry your best friend!

armyofone:

@mide14
when you start wanting space in your marriage, i think you should check your relationship again.

Same with tgirl4real. I'm not sure if these chics didnt just marry because they met an ok guy and buckled under societal pressure.
Sometimes its ok to ignore pressure and remain single till you meet that woman you cannot live without.

armyofone:

so right . . . many of them.
miss ya, how are you

^^^ aww same here, na you carry me enter here . I dey o, thanks.

david nwanem, glad you are here , always sweet reading ya 
you still in Rochy?

Ileke mi, sweet to have you here jare. afefe ti fe adie, you know the rest babe
let's just pray for a good man with better head for him shoulder,

naijababe:

Make up your mind Dayo! Do you want a wife/marriage or a bedmate/contract?  

They all have their role

Wife and bedmate both are needed

dayokanu:

They all have their role

Wife and bedmate both are needed

Shame you can only have one

Says who?

Abraham , Jacob, David, Solomon etc didnt have one

armyofone:

david nwanem, glad you are here , always sweet reading ya 
you still in Rochy?

my sister, i'm sure this is hauwa in disguise.
I dey kampe, i left Rochy over a year ago.

dayokanu:

Says who?

Abraham , Jacob, David, Solomon etc didnt have one

You are a scientist now, invent your own time machine and tranport yourself back to the medieval times. If that's too difficult, you can always fill the holes in quantum teleportation and port yourself back to Bashorun Gaa era  

@davidylan, my marriage doesn't have a problem. Just cos i mentioned the one thing that bugs me doesn't give u the authority to just judge my marriage. I am a private person, have bn like dat for so long before i met my husband. What's wrong with me craving that ones in a while. and if u read my post well, despite craving it i still havent done it out of respect for him,
Liked poster mentioned earlier ( u aint to judge pple abeg)

mide14:

@davidylan, my marriage doesn't have a problem. Just cos i mentioned the one thing that bugs me doesn't give u the authority to just judge my marriage. I am a private person, have bn like dat for so long before i met my husband. What's wrong with me craving that ones in a while. and if u read my post well, despite craving it i still havent done it out of respect for him,
Liked poster mentioned earlier ( u aint to judge pple abeg)

maybe it might be best for you to not post something so sensitive to you then. If you want to post such and expect no response then do so on your private blog.

What's sensitive about what i wrote? Am barely concerned about how quick u were to jump to conclusion, This is an open forum i believe,
Anyways, i don't have your time, leaving u to your thoughts and conclusions, Psheeewwwww!

Is marriage really worth it hmmm i had to sit and ask myself this question over and over again!
I am married,and it has been a thrilling experience,it hasnt been easy, being dat we come from completely different family and value system,sometimes i throw my hands up in frustration trying to make him see things from my own point of view and he just looks at me,dsnt understand why its so important, I tell you it can be really annoying,but I have come to learn that tolerance and patience are the watchwords of any successful marriage,only then can you truly experience LOVE. knowing that you cant change dis person and loving them inspite of all the imperfections and living in peace, that is marriage.
I have two wonderful kids,they make it easier,but still cant say categorily that marriage is all dat!

Stop beating down on marriage peeps mehn!!! It's possibly one of the most wonderful things in the world. The only thing standing in your way of enjoying the bliss that marriage can offer is SELF-CENTREDNESS! Conquer that lil' voice that says it's my way or the highway and find yourself a partner who has too, then you are on a sure way to long lasting happiness.

Is it overated? No! Is it for everyone? Big NO!!!

haha, bros na so we see am
I left too, missing that city and its famous sandwich so much. thinking of going back there for PG, i just love the winter.
i miss my school environment too.
glad say you dey kampe bo iroko no dey broke  .

davidylan:

my sister, i'm sure this is hauwa in disguise. 
I dey kampe, i left Rochy over a year ago.

gud job peeps, first thread ave com across in a while dat has not disintegrated into abusing, vulgar pissing contests,

naijababe:

Stop beating down on marriage peeps mehn!!! It's possibly one of the most wonderful things in the world. The only thing standing in your way of enjoying the bliss that marriage can offer is SELF-CENTREDNESS! Conquer that lil' voice that says it's my way or the highway and find yourself a partner who has too, then you are on a sure way to long lasting happiness.

Is it overated? No! Is it for everyone? Big NO!!!

i second u! but its really hard 2 stop being self centered as we have been living by our own decisions b4 getting married, personally if i cud have a baby in today's society without d stigma 4 both the child and i, i wouldn't bother with marriage

davidylan:

Your marriage has a problem.

when marriage becomes a struggle where one party now resents the other . . . wahala dey. Pple should not marry because they have reached that age.

David, how na?

I don't think you should read such meanings into what mide14 said. She is just baring her mind. Talking about everyday challenges of marriage doesn't mean you resent your partner. Nothing in that post suggest that. We need to know that human beings are different with different temperaments. And guys generally don't like taking corrections esp when it's coming from their wives.

Ileke-IdI:

hmmm

@OP

hmmm

I'm not too keen into marrying sha. I feel that this generation of men dont value marriage.

Esp. men of this generation.

_{How are u dear?}

Ileke-IdI:

I'm not too keen into marrying sha. I feel that this generation of men dont value marriage.

Tgirl4real:

Esp. men of this generation.

_{How are u dear?}

Maybe cos of this generation women

High_Chief:

Maybe cos of this generation women

Lol

davidylan:

There is no way a marriage can be successful if neither partner is aware of their roles. However i see something that is glaringly missing in these marriages - both partners dont see like they have much in common. I will repeat what an aunt of mine once said - marry your best friend!

Same with tgirl4real. I'm not sure if these chics didnt just marry because they met an ok guy and buckled under societal pressure.
Sometimes its ok to ignore pressure and remain single till you meet that woman you cannot live without.

I wonder how I missed this. My dear, this thread is not about me. So . . . stop insinuating what you don't know. It is also a fake person that lives in denial. There is no how 2 people from 2 different background will come together without having disagreement once in a while (except if they are fake and pretending) whether you married your bestfriend or a stranger. Even those that are married for donkey years still agrue and make up. Though the issues might not be evident to outsiders. The beauty of the matter is how you manage your differences and love conquers all.

So, my dear, be real with yourself and face the reality of life.

cool thread

My regret when getting married is that I didn't asked for a Blackberry from the start.   I tried pleading for an iPhone but it was laughed down. 

If I was still single this never would have happened   

No regret. Go single and get married again not leaving your home. START A FIGHT! Don't invite me o because your hubby might be my client!

N101:

My regret when getting married is that I didn't asked for a Blackberry from the start.   I tried pleading for an iPhone but it was laughed down. 

If I was still single this never would have happened   

cexplorer:

No regret. Go single and get married again not leaving your home. START A FIGHT! Don't invite me o because your hubby might be my client!

I tried starting a fight but I don't think I was aggressive enough - I was ignored and it hurt! 

Your invite is on standby. . .

@ N101

lol

Just do the girly thing letz see if it will work. _{but, u will be wasting ur time if ur husband is anything like mine}