Hello Guys,
I'm currently working on a script for a soap opera. Matter of fact, out of the intended 30 episodes, I've written over 20. I've even outlined the story from EP 01 to EP 30. The story concludes at EP 30, but that doesn’t mean the story ends there. In fact, the story can continue as long as I can write because it circles around the lives of five non contemporary characters that are friends and are unique. And I introduce some really weird characters in a couple of episodes.

I don't want to sound pompous or blows my own trumpet, but to say the least, I know the story is different from what we are accustomed to in Nigeria. I've shown my friends, and they are all excited and screaming 'this is good', 'this is hot', but like I said, they are my friends; I don't expect them to say otherwise. I do not doubt their judgment, but I know they won't want to hurt my feelings and also, none of them is a writer or a scriptwriter, so a junk might probably look like a blockbuster no them. No pun intended!

This now brings me to one of the reasons I'm here. I need someone who can read the script, and give me a sound and accurate judgment. At no cost, that is. But the underlying problem to this 'help' is; how can I be sure the person won't steal my idea? I don't mean to hurt anybody's feeling, but we all know how things go in this country. I don't want to be a victim again.

Number two, how do I get a good producer to just read the script?

I've been googling my heads off, but I've not come up with anything. It seems it is easier to get your script to Hollywood, thanks to their numerous agents. And if I may add this: A Hollywood agent just requested for my feature length movie script that I submitted a query letter for. It's nothing yet, but, considering those agents get scripts from all over the world in thousands every day, for my script to even be considered is a boost for me. Hopefully, if my script is good enough for her, something will happen.

But this soap opera is for the Nigerian community only. At least, it is based on a Nigeria settings and environment.

Why making some little research, I came across a producer named Fidelis Duker. His works are good, and everything I've read about him indicates that he is more concerned about the development of Nollywood rather than making some crappy movie and making profit. Now, I didn't say he's not interested in profit.

I feel this man will be interested in my work. But the problem is getting to him. I've used all my skills on google to try and find a way to contact him albeit unsuccessful. Twitter; he has a profile, but he hasn't twitted a single tweet. Facebook; I’m sure that was opened ghostly for him, only achievements and no info on how to contact him.

So, I need the following help;
1- How can I get somebody to read my script and give me an accurate judgment on it? I’ll prefer a very strict movie critic. *Who won’t steal my idea*.
2- Does anyone know how I can get across to Fidelis Duker?
3- Are they any other producers that I can try to contact? Suggestion of names.
4- Does anyone have any other suggestion for me?

I attached a random scene to this post for anyone interested in helping out. Kindly note that the attached is just a scene, a single scene, and it’s the only scene I could find that won’t give away too much info. I’m sorry if I’m been uptight, but we’ve all heard the adage, ‘once beaten’ before. If anybody is interested to help out with the reading/editing and he/she is unsure if the work is worth his/her time, I can write a full episode containing all the characters, but it won’t follow the story line, it will be a stand alone, and I will upload it.

ADDENDUM 1
I wrote the script formatted in standard Hollywood format. I don’t know if Nollywood style is different. But the Hollywood style is great. With a balance mixture of action and dialogue, a page equals one minute of shooting time. It’s great for timing!

ADDENDUM 2 (For people who download the attachment)
In the attached, did anybody notice how intelligent that woman, Tess is? She stylishly avoided all Max’s question without him noticing. She’s 46 y/o though. Max is one of the five friends. Can anybody say the type of human being he is?
What do you think of the dialogue?

Thanks for reading it up to this level, and I hope I get reply to this post. I’ve noticed how people don’t respond to long posts.

I'm still waiting guys!

I just read your sample. Love where the story's headed. Nice one. Might not have time to help with the read though. But from what I've seen, watch out for clichés and keep English as simple as possible.

Keep it up.

Have also queried lotta agents myself, have had one or two requests myself.

All the best in your writing career.

Thank you v much. I'm through with the series!

iice:

Having problems opening it.

Thanks so much for your efforts. Try renaming the 'doc' to 'docx'. I changed it because this site rejected it when I try uploading it in 'docx' format.

Thank you very much.

They don't know each other that well. In fact, that will be the third time they will meet. I'm sure it will be clearer if you read the whole episode.
And points taken about the cliches and simple english.

Hey, I appreciate your efforts. If you don't mind, I can send you the full first episode.

Chei! Anyways, your criticism can only make the script better.


But I want you to keep it at the back of your mind that it wasn't written for naija production. As it is right now, we are limited on so many things.

With that said, you can butcher the script as you like and add your opinions in italics and send it back to me.

Thanks once again for your efforts.

Sorry, I meant -written for Nigerian settings-

You are so intent on the 'butchering' part. Lol

Okay, let me go send it.

iice:

Written for or not for Nigerian setting?
Butcher eh? Ok ooo. . .will do so

No thanks necessary. I have a thing for motion pictures so i like to stick my nose in it

I've sent it.

Hi. You can send me a sample of your work for critique. If it looks good, I will hook u up with a friend who writes scripts for nollywood. He should be able to help u out. Send to olsanwo@yahoo.com

chinymi:

Hi. You can send me a sample of your work for critique. If it looks good, I will hook u up with a friend who writes scripts for nollywood. He should be able to help u out. Send to olsanwo@yahoo.com

Check out the one I attached to the first of this thread. If that is not enough, then I can send more.

Thing is, I am on phone and can't seem to find the attachment. If you can send the five pages u attached here to my mail, I can download, send to my laptop and view. I need to ask, are U looking for an executive producer/ marketer or U re looking for a producer and u have means to finance?
Please send the 5 paged sample to my addy. If it's good, we can proceed from there

semid4lyfe:

Hehehehe. . .read the 5 page sample you uploaded and all I'll say is ''overtushness'' dey worry all the characters and they don't sound or act Nigerian to me

Look at this: ''When he gets there, Jenny jumps on him and kisses his cheeks''
Question: Do Naija babes really act like this. . .as in, greet a guy with a kiss on the cheek?  IMO, the most dem go do na to give the guy hug

All in all. . .from the little, I've read, it's a good script but the setting, yarns, flow of conversation, conversational intelligence etc makes it seem ''unNigerian'' to me.

Thanks for your contribution.

True, I feel like it doesn't feel Nigerian, but I thought we are tired of the typical Nigerian movie. I really put a lot of work into their conservations, to make it more meaningful and rich, so it won't ended up been like the Nollywöod with no real conversation.
But, that Jenny's part kissing Max's cheeks was a mistake. It's supposed to be just one cheek. And thats because Max and Jenny are ex lovers, and they never really broke up! So, Jenny still have the hots for him.

Thanks for your constructive criticism, I will tone down the script to make it more 'Nigerian'.

I will be glad to send you the first episode, if you don't mind.

chinymi:

Thing is, I am on phone and can't seem to find the attachment. If you can send the five pages u attached here to my mail, I can download, send to my laptop and view. I need to ask, are U looking for an executive producer/ marketer or U re looking for a producer and u have means to finance?
Please send the 5 paged sample to my addy. If it's good, we can proceed from there

I sent it already.

Well, the sample is part of an episode in a series of 30 episodes, So, I can't finance it on my own. I need to pitch it to producer/director.

I've written another full length movie tho!

Anyways, get back to me when you've read the sample.

I have worked on it. Having difficulty uploading with my crazy opera. Hope u get this

Ok. Let me know when you go through this. I will send you a msg via yahoo

Just saw it now. Thanks for your feed back.

But why is the format different? Is this the Nigerian style of writing a script? If it is, I must say I will stick to mine, which is the standard way of writing script. The style has been formatted in such a way that one page equals one minute of shooting time if the page contains a balance of action and dialogue.

I wrote my musings on your 'edit' and add another full episode on the document and sent it to your yahoo account. Let me know what you think, and please, don't attach this new one here.

Thanks once again.

You guys silence is deafening,

semid4lyfe:

@ OP
Ok, send me the first episode let me look at it. addy is MY NAIRALAND USERNAME@yahoo.com. . .if you get what I mean.

Buddy, I've sent it now, did you get it?

Need some people to help read and make comments on my screenplays. A badly written Richard Curtis (Notting Hill, About a Boy) kinda screenplays. Please guys.

That'll be so nice iice. So can I have your email, please?

Briareos:

Buddy, I've sent it now, did you get it?

I can help too,


Iice, thanks for your help so far!

Have you found/met a producer yet?

Iice, still waiting for your email.