Hi,

Please help me out guys. I am involve with a married man who says he wants to marry me. I asked myself why doe he wants a second wife and he is telling lots of convicing things. He gives me everything the world can buy. We have not made love yet cause he wants us to be sure about the relationship. He says we must pray about it so God can help everyone to undurstand.

I'm Confused and please help me to think abou this.

da question is " do u want 2 be sum1's second wife? " if yea, go ahead if they 1st one is okay with it if not no peace in da house, gluck sha, invite me 4 da wedding

Involved With A Married Man - not the best

if he wants you to pray about it so God helps everyone understand and you guys have not made love yet then i think he's a bit serious but i dont think been a second wife is the best neither is your involvement with him the best i mean he's a married man

@Butternut

He is not man enough to be married. He does not know what marriage is all about. You'll not be the last on the queue. He should pray abbout his marriage for God to give him understanding about how to make it work.

Do you there is a woman who will understand to share a man with someone else?

Let me ask this,r u ready for the consequence of being a 2nd wife(when 1st is alive and kicking?!)
Share those things that he tells u that r convincing, let know if he's even serious or not,
He might not be asking for sex now, it might be part of the game, You cant trust a man that might be betraying another woman to be with you!!

word

He tells me that before he met me, he prayed to God that he must give him an extension of his family. He said, he asked God for another friend in his life to help him with his business. Any he own a business and he want to start a little business for me and what i have been dreaming about for the rest of my life. He wants to get me a house, he gave me money for the car. Do you think i love him because of his status? The guy wants to have kids with me. Guys help me out to thinh. What must i asked this guy?

im about your man

Just make sure that after getting married to this playa, you should help prepare the next room for wife number 3. Also prepare the basement for wife number 4.

Frankly, I think you should look for a guy that would love you and you only and treat you right.

If the guy is tired of the first wife already, chances are the same would happen to you.

Let me diagnose u comment:

Butternut:

He tells me that before he met me, he prayed to God that he must give him an extension of his family.

He pray that he wants a concubine? How true do yu think this is? What the real problem with his wife, if there is any?

Butternut:

He said, he asked God for another friend in his life to help him with his business.

-If he need a biz partner i might see that as ok but if the one at home cant help with is his biz what will you be? his biz-wifey?

Butternut:

Any he own a business and he want to start a little business for me and what i have been dreaming about for the rest of my life.

-did i hear the bell of deceit?! How else will he get you to believe him? i don't know dis guy but am not convinced!

Butternut:

Any he own a business and he want to start a little business for me and what i have been dreaming about for the rest of my life. He wants to get me a house, he gave me money for the car.
Do you think i love him because of his status?

-AHA! Datz it. You are confusing what you want with what you need.My question what are his current wife dream and how far has he gone fulfilling them?

Butternut:

The boy wants to have kids with me. Boys help me out to think. What must i asked this boy?

-Does this mean he can have kids with the woman at home? Or he need a child factory from you.

I still don't get it. you need to face it r u down with fantasy or reality!!If he is for real he wont be enticing you with luxury,
or may be you are the one dat isn't for real.

I think i genuine love and i'm for real, I love this man a and i wish what he is telling me is for real. Do you think i must take a chance or while i'm with him must i get a secret lover so i wont be serious with him.

Are you intrested in becoming a second ?do you love the man or you want material things from him?I will advice you to think deeply before you decide,because I can't do it and I won't advice you to marry another woman husband.

I also understand that this too scary but supprisingly this man is not scared. This is a dangerous game but why is my man not scared. Do you think he respect his wife cause how is he going to stand in front of her and tell her that he is going to marry another wife.

This question is directed to the guys:

Tell me, is it simply to stand in front of your wife or girlfriend and tell that you are seeing someone else and tyou are serious about that person and also tell that you want her to agree on sharing your love.

I am kind of stuck myself here butternut

Do you mind if i ask his and your age? and is it in your culture to marry more than one wife? and are you ok with it? it seems  you dont mind and is more a case of wanting to know if he is serious about you. My opinion is, the things he tells you , that you feel are convincing dont ring so true with me. He might be telling you what you want to hear. If you are young which you sound like i would not recommend starting life as a second wife. All this talk of money and cars    please dont buy into it, whats more important happiness, love and faithfulness or the cars, house,no love and doubts? Think long and hard please

Like i said earlier, get that room rady for the THIRD wife o! cos thats what is going to happen. Word to the wise.

get that room rady for the THIRD wife o!

Couldn't be better said! If he can marry a second, he'd probably marry a third.

Hehe. How can you possibly trust the words of a man who is cheating on his wife? He's not going to marry any second wife. He is not going to marry you. This you will discover after having sex with him for a while.

If you love him, go ahead with it. Every woman wants a man who can take good care of her. He is doing the same now, just try and find out if he is doing the same with his present wife. If yes is the case, then I dont see why you should fear. Look at it from this angle, suppose you are the 1st wife? the same way he will bring another woman. It goes on to show that, even if you relinquish this opportunity and you go for an unmarried man, what assurance do you have that he wont marry another woman after you. In the absence of everything though, follow your heart. Alatise lon matise arare. Enough for the wise.

That relationship is based on lies, unfaithfulness and Deceit.

Dear Lady,I wish you well in everything you do, BUT, whatever you do, don't get involved with such a man because you will lose out in the end and shamefully too thereby missing your real man. If he needs a business partner, have you in any way asked him if he's married to an illitrate. How many businesses has he opened for his wife?
What type of God has he been praying to for a wife? He is asking God to help him commit adultery. He wants to have kids with you, is it legitimate or illegitimate kids? Or is his wife barren?
BUTTERNUT! BUTTERNUT!! BUTTERNUT!!!, WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO MAN PUT ASSUNDER.

BUTTERNUT!!! seem you av already made up your mind to jump into this pitless hole.This post seem be a court room to judge between you and your coincience.
If he marrys you(which seem like bulid a castle in the sky) listen to whitiney Houston- Same script different cast,
If he does not marry you , be sure you will be left heart broken!
If you forget about him now, not go happen, (may be ur dream will come true if you work towards it), live will go on!!

IMO if u love this man go ahead and marry him. it is african to marry more than one wife, lets not deceive ourself.it bothers me when we say to a bubbling young girl ''dont be a second,third and so on'' and this same girl is growing into 35 years old unmarried. look around, we now have lots of grown up ladies without a man of their own.lets have a rethink. most men who marry a wife still goes out 'married' to many concubines. why not bring them home? they usually comes home when the man is pronouced dead and katakata now sets in. a certain family is blessed with female children and are adviced not to marry a married man, a least few of them become unmarried into menopause. the question is this, is it ungodly to marry 2 wives or is it godly to have a wife and many ladies outside? ponder over this.

Just imagine if women could take many husbands, There are some things that I don't do, and share my man is one of them. I've also learned that you will lose a man the same way u get him. If he 'cheated' with you on wife #1, and you become wife #2, there will surely be #3 coming along soon. My bf is African and he claims that he isn't into polygamy. But if he should change his mind after we get married, there will certainly be divorce. So, my advice to you is prepare for #3 or leave the guy alone. You're worth being someone's one and only.

u are really having a swell time with him now but i can assure u he will change as soon as he have u, have u bothered to ask why he needs a 2nd wife? i had an xperience like that b4, i have always applied the rotary 4-way test , is it fair 2 all concerned?

In this time and age, only the desperate 30s should be contemplating polygamy.

Can't believe there is a Naija married man who has not shined the Congo and he's promising marriage and giving you a good time. But if it's actually true that you're yet to consumate your relationship, then there is only one word for the promises and trips, BAITING.

My advice to you: Should you eventually get married, be "wary" of his first wife. I suppose everyone involved would probably come to an understanding, but I don't know, really.

He's only trying to decieve you. Are you sure he's not telling any other woman the same thing he's told you?
You really have to look beyond those sweet words, promises and gifts.

Stop it. If he's married and still carrying something on with you then that's a red flag right there.
He Clearly doesn't respect women or else he wouldn't be doing this to his wife and
if you think that you have a future with him, just consider the fact that he could aka WILL do it to you as well.
You're also disrespecting his wife by being involved with him.