Nairaland Forum

Signs of Betrayal/How to Spot A Cheater

You know that feeling that you suspect something does not seem right.You know in the back of your mind but you keep denying it.Its a known fact that your mate leaves earlier than their usual time, maybe he comes home late.Its easier to be in denial than to admit that your a victim of betrayal.Unfortunately its just a known fact that its mainly men that get caught up in this game but it also brings up other serious issues.



For instance a cheating husband or wife/mate doesnt necessarily goes and cheat for the hell of it.Umm back up, ok yeah some instances thats the case.But many cases are more emotional.So what is missing from the current relationship that this person has to run to go seek it somewhere else.Im not excusing the husband or wife/mate nor amd I putting blame on anyone but you need to face the fact that as Dr.Phil McGraw says on oprah "there are no victims just volunteers."Before you play the innocent bystandard you need to look deeper into whats really missing in the relationship.Its easier to run from the problem than to deal with the problem itself.Now if your Mrs.Claeaver and have given your mate everything possible it could be another factor why your spouse/mate would cheat and that is, challenge.



Its a temptation that then leads to a challenge and as soon as he realizes it, hes caught up in it.Once he/she gets it, the challenge is over but by then you already found out and then the next step occurs, ultimatium.I've noticed majority of the time a man/woman will stll stay in their current relationship (especially if its long lasting) then to go with the other man/woman.Why?Its more comforting and especially if theres children involved or leverage, i.e. financial security,bills,children,then they just feel trapped and you get this feeling that they can just stray again.Dont avoid the issues.You must deal with them.Work on the relationship together not one person alone.



How to suspect if your lover is cheating:
-easily gets defensive
-starts asking for a divorce/break-up
-guilt ridden, offers to take care of you after the break-up
-refers to the other person as a friend
-lack of sex
-suddenly becomes cruel and mean to you, saying bad things
-gives you a "look" when the phone rings
-makes "odd"calls late at night, most likely when your sleeping.
-odd numbers on cell phone
-comes home way to late at night or not at all
-looks away when confronted on the issue
-makes the relationship too good so you dont suspect(always taking you out,etc)
-email accounts that you cannot get into, especially new accounts.



How to suspect if your lover is already taken/married/involved
-your only allowed to call certain times of the day
-your only given a cell phone number
-has the upper hand of when to have contact
-refers the person their living with as their "roomate"
-your not allowed to go to their place, place is too dirty or messy, excuses
-seems to call you from work



How to know if they mean what they say and say what they mean
-if they say "im going to leave him/her, most likely, their lying
-if they keep calling her/him a Naughty Lady/jerk/a-hole/LovePeddler, its their way
of you falling for the bait




End result,
Dont let them have their cake and eat it too.Not healthy


Good luck!

Hmmm great Thanks

Good effort.

I got dat,where he cals his girl names.he just don't v d guts 2 leave her
Even denies he is married

op
pls summarize in 1 sentence

Josh121:

Hmmm great Thanks

Fokativ:

Good effort.

Thanks

Nice one. Is it have their cake and eat it or eat their cake and have it?Bystandard or Bystander?cause am kinda confused.

Hmmm sum just ain't happy with one.once a cheat......