You always hear of Nigerian men in the daispora going back to Nigeria to marry, but not the women. Why?

so its d men dey marry ehn?

cos men are supposed to be the head.

Men back home can probably not support them and the ones that can are comfortable back home and will not follow them abroad anyway.

A woman is to marry a man that is better than her not one she is better than. Men might not like it but that is how the cookie crumbles

millco88:

You always hear of Nigerian men in the daispora going back to Nigeria to marry, but not the women. Why?

I would love going back to Cameroon or Tanzania to work and live there seriously, quality of life is much better

because women don't want to get used. many a woman has gone home to marry only for the man to leave after he's gotten his papers, who needs that? men on the other hand can get the woman pregnant fast, who wants to marry a woman with kids? not a lot of nigerian men, so she's stuck with him.

Who says they don’t? I know one that went back home to marry out of desperation. The broke a.s.s she married beats her and cheats on her.

millco88:

You always hear of Nigerian men in the daispora going back to Nigeria to marry, but not the women. Why?

the women are often reluctant to lower their standards and go back home to marry.
the mentality of most nigerian men is a big factor too. many nigerian males at home still see women as slaves to be bullied or to be manipulated!
on top of that, it's difficult to find love. 90% of those naija men are looking for means to get out of nigeria. once they get their visas, they are off!

coogar:

the women are often reluctant to lower their standards and go back home to marry.
the mentality of most nigerian men is a big factor too. many nigerian males at home still see women as slaves to be bullied or to be manipulated!
on top of that, it's difficult to find love. 90% of those naija men are looking for means to get out of nigeria. once they get their visas, they are off!

Mr man where are your statistics from? People just spit thrash on here like they're talking to kids, next time, maybe turning over your keyboard will do.

Orton1_0:

Mr man where are your statistics from? People just spit thrash on here like they're talking to kids, next time, maybe turning over your keyboard will do.

you must be a miserable sod!
next time, attack the issue not the personality - this is the same village nigerian mentality most of you apes called men in nigeria exhibit.
bloody asswipe!

The real reason is because it's easier for Nigerian men to do that without easily being scammed, the risk is low with Nigerian men and they majority of the time find the right women for them whether she is educated or not; I have seen some examples of that but when it's Nigerian women the risk is moderate to high because there have been many cases where Nigerian women after these men get their papers, they run off and their are cases when they do bring the men back with them many times these men come with less educated backgrounds as them so their standards are lower and some of these Nigerian men at times get intimidated as a result and that boils down to drama. Lastly sometimes these men may already have a lady back home and are just using you as a green card citizenship ticket, once they get it they bounce and may leave you with kids they had for you while he was waiting to leave and that is worse because Nigerian men tend to not like to marry women with kids. Plus when you see a educated and successful Nigerian man in Nigeria and there are many of them in Nigeria, many of them are already settled in Nigeria and are not inclined to go to the western world and feel they can see many Nigerian beauties right in Nigeria.

To me there is nothing wrong with Nigerian women going back home to marry Nigerian men but there are EXCEPTIONS:
You need to do a background check of the man you are seeing(especially through the help of your parents because your mother will never lie or wish you bad because they don't want their daughter with bad news), ask questions like whether he is married? and etc if there is something fishy about him or he tends to not open up and not tell you things you ask of him or you feel he is hiding something from you or he seems to be too perfect or too good to be true, especially when he doesn't live the life he boast of and etc, don't ignore it; that is a red flag that it may not be a genuine guy but a 419, green card, and/or etc dude.

There are many other warning signs of course and I am not implying that all cases are bad, I have seen success stories of Nigerian women marrying back home but I have seen some horror and unsuccessful stories of Nigerian women who go back and marry back home.

There is more risk with Nigerian women(especially ones born in the western world but raised in the Nigerian culture) then Nigerian men that marry back home; unless direct family is involved and I am not talking about a distant cousin or uncle from some where(because I have heard scamming amongst family to), I am talking about direct relatives like your mother and father.

ebonyvibe:

cos men are supposed to be the head.

Men back home can probably not support them and the ones that can are comfortable back home and will not follow them abroad anyway.

A woman is to marry a man that is better than her not one she is better than. Men might not like it but that is how the cookie crumbles

ATLgal:

because women don't want to get used. many a woman has gone home to marry only for the man to leave after he's gotten his papers, who needs that? men on the other hand can get the woman pregnant fast, who wants to marry a woman with kids? not a lot of nigerian men, so she's stuck with him.

Cosign 100%

coogar:

the women are often reluctant to lower their standards and go back home to marry.
the mentality of most nigerian men is a big factor too. many nigerian males at home still see women as slaves to be bullied or to be manipulated!
on top of that, it's difficult to find love. 90% of those naija men are looking for means to get out of nigeria. once they get their visas, they are off!

So in otherwords what u are trying to imply is that nigerian men back home in nigeria are lazy and worthless?.My guy lets be honest with ourselves in here.Its not every nigerian living in the west that is succesful.What can u say about those nigerian women who engage in prostituition in europe or what can u say about those nigerian men who are only into doing menial jobs.Can u refer to such ppl as succesful?.And by the way i know many nigerian girls who were prostitutes in italy but went back to nigeria and married bus conductors as their husbands.There are nigerians even doing much better in nigeria than some of us nigerians living in the west so enough with this hypocrisy.

because the available men are not even enough to go round the available women

tom28:

There are nigerians even doing much better in nigeria than some of us nigerians living in the west so enough with this hypocrisy.

I agree, and it is becoming more evident now with the economic down turns going on in the western world. In Nigeria if you have money and/or a good job, you will live the life compared to America:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic7dggkZBSE
I have heard many stories of Nigerians living comfortably more in Nigeria then the ones in America, England and etc now

tom28:

So in otherwords what u are trying to imply is that nigerian men back home in nigeria are lazy and worthless?

not all of them but majority are. there are 40 million youths in that country without jobs.

.My guy lets be honest with ourselves in here.Its not every nigerian living in the west that is succesful.

so why are the embassies of britain and the united states in nigeria the busiest.
the ukba said they receive 10,000 applications every week in their lagos office alone - what's the cause of this?

What can u say about those nigerian women who engage in prostituition in europe or what can u say about those nigerian men who are only into doing menial jobs.Can u refer to such ppl as succesful?

success is subjective! what makes mr a successful is not even a starting point for mr b.
these women would rather prostitute in europe than do it in nigeria, don't you think. pr[i]o[/i]stitution in europe can still take care of their needs and their family conveniently with a retainer unlike pr[i]o[/i]stituting in nigeria.

.And by the way i know many nigerian girls who were LovePeddlers in italy but went back to nigeria and married bus conductors as their husbands.There are nigerians even doing much better in nigeria than some of us nigerians living in the west so enough with this hypocrisy.

they simply went back to their old boyfriends - there's no news there!
but if you think a girl with solid educational pedigree here would come down to nigeria and marry a bus conductor then you are high on speed!

ATLgal:

because women don't want to get used. many a woman has gone home to marry only for the man to leave after he's gotten his papers, who needs that? men on the other hand can get the woman pregnant fast, who wants to marry a woman with kids? not a lot of nigerian men, so she's stuck with him.

you dey atl?

Cougar yes many youths back home in nigeria are without jobs but you shouldnt be quick to judge that such youths are useless and lazy.I know a friend of mine who was without job after he graduated from the unversity about four yrs ago until one of these new generation banks offered him an employment.Now would u say during his time of being unemployed he was useless and lazy?.And on the issue about some of us nigerians going back home to nigeria to get married lets be clear about this issue.Most nigerian men who go back home to marry dont do it with a clean mind.Many of them want a woman who is naive and who they can ride on at will .There was a story of this 58 yr old yoruba man who is a cab driver and already divorced twice from two black american women and he went back to nigeria and hooked up with a 22 yr old univ graduate.He convinced this lady to dump her boyfriend of many yrs and took her back to the states and got married to her and started using her like a slave.This lady left him for a younger man she met while in nursing school and the marriage crashed.Wether male or female this sort of arranged sort of marriage never works and its only ppl with an ancient outlook to life that indulge in arranged marriage.Its better to get married to someone that u know than a total stranger your parents might bring from u frm the village.

coogar:




they simply went back to their old boyfriends - there's no news there!
but if you think a girl with solid educational pedigree here would come down to nigeria and marry a bus conductor then you are high on speed!

Not everybody in europe is successful and i am yet to see an ex ashi in europe getting married to a nigerian graduate.the worse the graduate would do is eat her money and run away.I think what is left is for ppl to get married to who they see and who they are used to and not faceless strangers that their relatives arrange for them.

tom28:

Cougar yes many youths back home in nigeria are without jobs but you shouldnt be quick to judge that such youths are useless and lazy.I know a friend of mine who was without job after he graduated from the unversity about four yrs ago until one of these new generation banks offered him an employment.Now would u say during his time of being unemployed he was useless and lazy?.And on the issue about some of us nigerians going back home to nigeria to get married lets be clear about this issue.Most nigerian men who go back home to marry dont do it with a clean mind.Many of them want a woman who is naive and who they can ride on at will .There was a story of this 58 yr old yoruba man who is a cab driver and already divorced twice from two black american women and he went back to nigeria and hooked up with a 22 yr old univ graduate.He convinced this lady to dump her boyfriend of many yrs and took her back to the states and got married to her and started using her like a slave.This lady left him for a younger man she met while in nursing school and the marriage crashed.Wether male or female this sort of arranged sort of marriage never works and its only ppl with an ancient outlook to life that indulge in arranged marriage.Its better to get married to someone that u know than a total stranger your parents might bring from u frm the village.

you are making your own argument!

you are mixing up success with exposure. even the ones making 1 trillion naira per day in nigeria wants to get out of the country!
who wants to stay in a country where the security of lives and properties are not guaranteed!
if a slave ship berths in apapa tonight, nearly all the nigerian youths would jump on it to america or europe!

tom28:

Not everybody in europe is successful and i am yet to see an ex ashi in europe getting married to a nigerian graduate.the worse the graduate would do is eat her money and run away.I think what is left is for ppl to get married to who they see and who they are used to and not faceless strangers that their relatives arrange for them.

this kind of argument is laughable.
so every woman in europe is ashi or what is exactly your point?
everyone is not successful in europe but they are better off in europe than in nigeria. if they are not better off, they won't stay in europe feeding on scraps!

Is it not men that propose again?

freecocoa:

Is it not men that propose again?

Sure but that fact is not an excuse for a woman not to find a man that wants to marry her.

tom28:

So in otherwords what u are trying to imply is that nigerian men back home in nigeria are lazy and worthless?.My guy lets be honest with ourselves in here.Its not every nigerian living in the west that is succesful.What can u say about those nigerian women who engage in prostituition in europe or what can u say about those nigerian men who are only into doing menial jobs.Can u refer to such ppl as succesful?.And by the way i know many nigerian girls who were LovePeddlers in italy but went back to nigeria and married bus conductors as their husbands.There are nigerians even doing much better in nigeria than some of us nigerians living in the west so enough with this hypocrisy.

+100

claremont:

Nigerian men and women equally go back "home" to marry, in the same way, some of them stay behind and get married overseas. There is no evidence to suggest that more men go back "home" as compared to ladies, it's mere hear-say. I for one will seriously question the sanity of someone who ignores all the ladies available where he lives/works/plays, but would rather go back to Nigeria and get married to a "familiar stranger"; it defeats logic.

[size=20pt]Seconded[/size]

Because they are not in love with anyone back home.
I know many women who go home to marry, but they go back to marry their long term bf/husband. They don't just go and pick anyone like the way men go back home to pick a wife thinking the best wives are found in Africa.

brb

coogar:

you are mixing up success with exposure. even the [b]ones making 1 trillion naira per day in nigeria wants to get out of the country![/b]who wants to stay in a country where the security of lives and properties are not guaranteed!
if a slave ship berths in apapa tonight, nearly all the nigerian youths would jump on it to america or europe!

That’s not true. I have friends making mad money in Nigeria, who I have tried to convince to study abroad or at least, come for a visit, but they all refused. Moreover, they are happy sponsoring their girlfriends abroad for holiday. I also know one that studied here who said he’ll never come back again, as he hates all the rules – he even refused to come for his own graduation.

I agree the jobless youths won’t hesitate, as they feel life is greener on this side, but sincerely speaking, not everyone wants to live in the west.

coogar:

you are making your own argument!

you are mixing up success with exposure. even the ones making 1 trillion naira per day in nigeria wants to get out of the country!
who wants to stay in a country where the security of lives and properties are not guaranteed!
if a slave ship berths in apapa tonight, nearly all the nigerian youths would jump on it to america or europe!

this kind of argument is laughable.
so every woman in europe is ashi or what is exactly your point?
everyone is not successful in europe but they are better off in europe than in nigeria. if they are not better off, they won't stay in europe feeding on scraps!

@coogar , From the way you talk, you sounded always like a kid. You talk as if you are not a Nigerian or something. Don't come here to a Forum like this, full of intellectual Nigerians to start writing trash. You have insulted Nigerians in general, especially the youth more than once in your post on this thread. You talk like you have a surname where you live, who knows you? How much do you have? What kind of life are you living wherever you are? Everyone have access to the internet, so I am not surprised at you. Stupid thing

Like some people said, the women who do that usually marry their old time sweet hearts BUT not all women coz I've seen several instances where women who are a "bit" over aged settle for whoever "arrangee husband" they can tie down. Furthermore, women are generally social ladder climbing creatures. Once they move 10 steps upwards on a 50 step ladder, they will NEVER want to have anything to do with anyone that's below their level (or even on their level sometimes) and unless the guy in Nigeria is stupendously rich, they have nothing to do with him (besides such a rich guy would have better options).

coogar:

the women are often reluctant to lower their standards and go back home to marry.
the mentality of most nigerian men is a big factor too. many nigerian males at home still see women as slaves to be bullied or to be manipulated!
on top of that, it's difficult to find love. 90% of those naija men are looking for means to get out of nigeria. once they get their visas, they are off!

Reluctant to "lower their standards"? How typical. This is a confirmation of the "social ladder climbing syndrome" i mentioned in my earlier post. Women are the ones who will say "love conquers all" but at the same time, there are "standards". Why won't love be "hard" for them to find.

90% of Nigerian men are "looking" for means out of Nigeria? Where do you get your statistics from? What kind of men were you dating in Nigeria? Do you think it's every guy here that's desperate to live in oyibo land? My dear, a lot of us have great lives going for us and the only thing that would make us leave Nigeria is if the country breaks up with ethnic/tribal/religious/political warfare. A lot of us only travel for vacation/holidays/visitation for the sake of it and nothing more. Get your mind right abeg! Not every guy is eager to abandon their businesses/properties/assets/investments to come and live with you in that rented shack in whatever country you found yourself.

Nonsense!

harakiri:

Reluctant to "lower their standards"? How typical. This is a confirmation of the "social ladder climbing syndrome" i mentioned in my earlier post. Women are the ones who will say "love conquers all" but at the same time, there are "standards". Why won't love be "hard" for them to find.

90% of Nigerian men are "looking" for means out of Nigeria? Where do you get your statistics from? What kind of men were you dating in Nigeria? Do you think it's every guy here that's desperate to live in oyibo land? My dear, a lot of us have great lives going for us and the only thing that would make us leave Nigeria is if the country breaks up with ethnic/tribal/religious/political warfare. A lot of us only travel for vacation/holidays/visitation for the sake of it and nothing more. Get your mind right abeg! Not every guy is eager to abandon their businesses/properties/assets/investments to come and live with you in that rented shack in whatever country you found yourself.

Nonsense!

I agree brother a lot people think every Africans wants to go in Western lands but it's not automatic, I'm not saying this trend does not exist but I know a lot of African brothers and sisters who want to go back home ( I do) and build a company to bring employment and have a better quality of life

Plus don't think living abroad gives you better chances because a lot of others issues come to you once you're there, I think it depends of people for thousands reasons, more than staying aborad

Is it easy to condescend low to marry a man you are higher than, academically, financially, etc? It takes only a humble woman to do that.