How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? - Family - Nairaland
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| How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Toonice(m): 9:26am On Oct 24, 2011 |
How Long Can U allow your MUM to stay in your Matrimonial home? |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by ToniaLee(f): 11:27am On Oct 24, 2011 |
It depends on what she has come to do.but whatever it is ,she shouldn't stay too long. My MIL has been at my home since January and from the looks of things she is not ready to leave.The worst part of it is that she does not help me in anything.She is at home but i still need to take my baby to do crèche.all she does is sleep,eat .I once complained to my hubby and he told me that his mum is not here to work,infact,the way he turned the whole thing got me all worked up.so i try not to bring up the discussion even when i am not comfortable with somethings. she said she is not feeling fine that is why she is in Lagos.she has a husband and i wonder who has been taking care of her hubby. all she does is to gossip about me to her children whenever they come or she goes to her daughters house, she cant stay at her daughters place cos she stays in a room and palour with her hubby and six children. I am just so tired that i am contemplating on telling my hubby to ask her to leave just that i don't want quarrel.She is presently at her daughters place cos dat one just gave birth again. Well, my point is that it is better she stays a short while and leaves. Staying long is just a way of stirring up trouble btw ur wife n mum.every woman wants to be in charge. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Nobody: 12:55pm On Oct 24, 2011 |
As brief a visit as possible. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by deltalife(m): 2:50pm On Oct 24, 2011 |
As long as there contenue to be friendliness between her and my wife and children. as long as she is not a problem to the family. Personaly, my mum is the type that would do anything for peace so? All mum are not the same, my mum will rather discuse issue with you the wife. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Outstrip(f): 6:24pm On Oct 24, 2011 |
It's bad enough that she is staying for an extended period and then on top of it there is nothing to keep her busy. She is bound to make trouble. It is simply human nature. An idle mind is the devils workshop. If she was in the village riding her husband she would be too busy to look for trouble. The max my mom ever stayed with us was 1 month. Right after my second son was born. When my first was born she stayed 2 weeks. I can sort of understand if the person is very old and it is dangerous to leave them alone besides that everyone to their tent |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by ElmA1(f): 11:42pm On Oct 24, 2011 |
For as long as she wants. Shes my mum and shes peaceful.and as long as my husband likes her,theres no problem there. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by ChuckD2(m): 10:13am On Oct 25, 2011 |
depends on "who" she is and why she's there in the first place. if she's sick and peace-loving and you're to take care of her because she needs close attention, she can stay until she get's better. if she's again peaceful and gets along well with your spouse and helps out with stuff thus relieving you of some stress, she can stay long enough. bottom line is - she must be peaceful, loving, mind her business if it's important and not lazy else, na one week max. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by noblegas2(m): 10:53am On Oct 25, 2011 |
ElmA, :Spot on! she didnt complain when she carried me in her womb. So for me also, she can stay for AS LONG AS she wishes to!  |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by slimyem: 10:59am On Oct 25, 2011 |
mums can be trouble makers most of the time.i can understand if she's around to babysit after child birth for at most one month and occasional one week or visits.after that,no way. I have left her to cling to my husband.i dont need anyone else clinging with me. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Ninapha(f): 11:21am On Oct 25, 2011 |
Chuck D: you are just correct. My MIL is a boss but i can manage her attitude and to compliment my hubby's acceptance of my mum - one month My hubby is more relaxed with my mum but I would not want her to stay more than two months on a good day to avoid biased assumptions by my MIL.  |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Nobody: 12:19pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
If possible, then for ever. She is full of love and understanding. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by stainny: 12:54pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
my MIL on the first visit drinks big stouts on daily basis for one week. when her son buy small stout for her she frowns. she complains that her son don't take her along in his decisions like changing his apartments. on second visit when her wife son put to bed, she never for one day cook nor wake up in the night when the baby cried. Ibo people knows what OMUKWO is. she cared less that his son is still and applicant! SO HOW LONG CAN YOU ALLOW HER TO STAY WHETHER AS YOU OWN MOTHER OR MOTHER IN LAW/SUIT |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Samxiulee: 1:24pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
Yes she carried me for 9 months no complain but pls the max she can stay is 1 week,as for my MIL max is 3weeks for her and her daughter in my house, i want peace in my house not an unhappy wife, there are alot of ways to make my mother busy and happy not @ the expense of my wife. 4 Likes |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by beknown(m): 1:26pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
ElmA, : Would you say the same for your mother-in-law (husband's mum)? |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Ninapha(f): 1:46pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
[quote author=beknown Would you say the same for your mother-in-law (husband's mum)? [quote][/quote] There is always this hidden unacceptance between MILs and DILs Very many cant live together, I consider my Mum very peaceful but i wont advice my sister in-laws to have her for a long period, one has to guard her marriage with wisdom. 1 Like |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by hildaa(f): 2:22pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
1 month visit is okey for either MIL or my mum |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Outstrip(f): 3:04pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
Ninapha: |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by sleekch1c(f): 3:05pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
2wks max for MIL, ₪o limits for M̶̲̅γ̲̣̣̥ mommy!!! |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Brymo: 3:37pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
4eva,if SHE likes. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by mikkymoi(m): 3:51pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
Waba, why u hate ur MIL like dat na, ?? may be u got ur reasons tho, I dont knw, |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by nnwniger: 3:56pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
ToniaLee, another day when you do stray into each other's crosshairs, try to See the situation from her point of view. let go your expectations about what she or should not do. "The Love You Take In Is Equal To The Love you Make", Do you remember that song by the Beatles? Your husband had already fired a warning shot,"she's not here to work" he said, I think you should hear that loud and clear. When it comes to mothers, most men like your husband are spineless and that's a fact. You have to respect your husbands relationships with his mom, don't badmouth her to him because you'll lose. I don't consider boundaries a dirty word, it keeps every one sane and help our relationships but not with evil intents. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Ninapha(f): 4:11pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
Outstrip: relatively I did Outsrip. Though i am not to answer for the original poster. for me neither would stay as much as she wants except my hubby and I are comfortable with their staying. We determine how long we want u to stay. No matter how u wish to present it, you cannot be so free with you mother in-law as your mother especially in some standard family values in your home. I know u agree with me oh jare |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Tsun(f): 4:14pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
As long as she wants. Mine came and spent a year and two months and i enjoyed every bit of it. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by swagdude(m): 4:22pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
Tonia Lee:IT IS QUITE SAD THAT A WOMAN CAN SAY THESE THINGS! I AM IMAGINING IF YOU HAVE ANY FEELINGS @ ALL? I AM ALSO TRYING TO WONDER IF YOU EVEN RESPECT ANYONE AT ALL! I ALSO CANNOT PUT THOUGHTS TOGETHER AS TO WHETHER YOU RESPECT YOUR OWN PARENTS @ ALL!!! WHAT THE HECK? ARE YOU SERIOUS? THE SAME WOMAN WHO BORE YOUR SO CALLED HONEY-ROASTED-HUSBAND? OMG!!! WHAT IS THIS LIFE TURNING INTO? I AM DAMN SURE THAT IF IT IS YOUR OWN MOTHER,YOU WON'T WANT YOUR HUBBY TO CHASE HER AWAY (THAT IS IF YOU EVEN RESPECT YOUR OWN MOTHER AT ALL) . . . TONIA,YOU ARE VERY SILLY OOOO! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE I READ THIS!!! THAT SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING FOR YOU! IS SHE YOUR HOUSE HELP? ARE YOU FOR REAL? THIS IS WHAT THESE RUBBISH "WIFY-SWAG"CAUSES!!!! . . . .TONIA,IF YOU WANT TO LIVE LONG,HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER/ELDERS!!!! YOU HAVE NO IOTA OF HONOR!!!! NONSENSE! YOU BETA THINK TWICE!!! OYIONSHI!!! |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Outstrip(f): 5:27pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
Ninapha: I totally agree that you cannot be as free with your mother in law as you would your mother. Anybody that says other wise is lying. The point I was making was that if you want your mother to stay with you for one month then you should be okay with his mother staying the same amount of time. That is the only fair thing. If your mother can grow old in your home then so can his own mother |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by freshera: 11:57pm On Oct 25, 2011 |
swagdude: You are talking like a man. Probably this woman has to WORK, TAKE CARE of herself, her husband, the baby, the house and then the mother-in-law and the visiting people. Probably the husband will not help out. Do you want to kill her? She probably has no house-help and her kids are still babies. The man should be the one to tell his mother to help out, at most with the baby, that's not too much. Or the man should tell her to leave diplomatically and ASAP. If it was her mother, am sure her own mother will lighten her load. please put yourself in the position of a woman for once, you won't turn to one, don't worry 2 Likes |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Rossikk(m): 3:48am On Oct 26, 2011 |
1 week max for me!!! This includes BOTH mother and mother-in-law.  By the way, WHY EXACTLY would ANYONE, including these mothers or mothers in law, wish to spend more than a week in another person's house if not to interfere/snoop in their lives? |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by sgd: 10:06am On Oct 26, 2011 |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by ChuckD2(m): 11:31am On Oct 26, 2011 |
swagdude: You have to understand that it is your "wife's home" first before it is your mum's home. Your mun has her home and when you got married, you left her's for yours and your wife shares that with you. if your mum makes trouble with your wife, well it is sad but she has to be the one to give the space. i'm not saying some wives can't be silly and unreasonable in the way they act. what i'm simply stressing is if your mum feels/ hopes/ thinks that by coming to your house as the "mother" she can order you wife here and there and expects to be "served", well she got it all wrong. ONE WEEK MAX! chikena! |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by ashiri1: 1:09pm On Oct 26, 2011 |
Chuck D: YES WE KNOW! BUT ALL THESE LADIES ARE LAZY. WASNT SHE DOING THE WORK BEFORE THE MIL CAME? IF IT WERE HER MUM THAT CAME WONT SHE SOLICIT SHE EVEN DRIVES A CAR? THESE LADIES OF ILL CHARACTER FORGET THEY WOULD HAVE OR ALREADY HAVE MALE CHILDREN. NOW HOW WOULD THEY WANT TO BE TREATED BY THEIR DOTA INLAW? FUD 4 TOT |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by Ninapha(f): 1:35pm On Oct 26, 2011 |
Outstrip: You are quite right what is good for my mum is good for my MIL too. And believe me u have a more healthy relationship in marriage when as a wife u are able to play fair to both families. Hope u are doing great 2day. |
| Re: How Long Can U Allow Your Mum To Stay In Your Matrimonial Home? by ChuckD2(m): 2:30pm On Oct 26, 2011 |
ashiri1:"all" the ladies? hmm that's a rather strong gneralization o. chairman, are you married? if yes, is your wife lazy? if your answer is "no" how would you feel seeing her being maltreated by your mum because it's her son's house? well, truth is if your parents are wicked, it is very likely you too will be. but the bottom line is if your mum is a trouble-maker, she doesn't have to stay long enough to cause your wife to breakdown and if on the other hand, you married a trouble- maker for a wife, well, it's still one week max for your mum to avoid her being disrespected and insulted. shame on a woman who can't respect her mil and shame on a woman who goes to her child's home to ferment trouble. chikena! 1 Like |
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