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She Wants Me To Give Up Beer - Family - Nairaland

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She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by coolruler(m): 6:36pm On Oct 30, 2011
I got married to the love of my life, about six months ago and I thought I would finally settle down to a life of marital bliss.
There's a little problem however, my wife wants me to give up Beer.
I enjoy my Heineken as much as the next guy, and she was totally cool with it during our courtship. After our wedding however, its either I choose Heineken or I choose Her. One has to go.

This is very unfair. I never asked her to stop being a woman, why should she want me to stop being a man? Heineken is one of the little freedoms I have left. If I give it up, what happens to me? Would I be happy? Would I be fulfilled? won't I forever nurse a grudge?
I've tried appealing, reasoning with her all to no avail. As it is, I'm not ready to stop drinking Beer yet, at least not on her say so.

She complained to her Pastor who secretly advised me to negotiate with her.
So, what do you think? Should I negotiate?
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 7:09pm On Oct 30, 2011
Why will she want you to give up beer?
Was there an agreement to give up beer after marriage?
Do you drink yourself to a state of total intoxication or do you misbehave when you drink?
Is the drinking affecting the finances in the house?
Or is it that you go for nights out with the boys and she is scared that ONE of the sex.y bar maids might snatch you from her? grin grin grin

More information is needed!
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Roland17(m): 7:19pm On Oct 30, 2011
If u abuse or act strangely after beer, then u should consider cutting down first, but if u drink responsibly and maintain physical and mental stability after your beer, then u are good my friend, just prove to her that it does not affect you negatively.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 12:54am On Oct 31, 2011
@poster
STAND YOUR GROUND!!!!!!!!
many women have this stoopid habit of trying to change a man once they are married, and the hard truth is that :if she had no problem with your drinking habit BEFORE MARRIAGE then she should have none AFTER MARRIAGE. . . . . . . unless she has a damn good reason.

it´s all about control and this woman is trying to turn you into what SHE wants you to be, aka the puppet she desire.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 5:17am On Oct 31, 2011
//
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 12:56pm On Oct 31, 2011
smiley See eh this CC of a woman is so intelligent, just look at how she tactfully address this very difficult issue- Madam eh your husband is blessed.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by coolruler(m): 1:11pm On Oct 31, 2011
@Richvkunt,
No, I do not and have never drank to intoxication. Two bottles of Heineken is what I permit myself and that is what I enjoy. I'm trying my best to be a model husband, but she's not making it easy.
i think she's further pissed because I admitted to her Pastor that Yes, I do enjoy my Beer. I guess she sees that as meaning she cannot control her home.
All am asking is the freedom to kill one or two bottles of beer when I feel the urge. Surely that is not too much to ask?
Why is she taking it so personal?

@chaircover
Thank you. I suggested substituting with wine, but she wants to choose the type. This is what am totally against. I'm not going to lose my freedom to choose whats best for me, marriage or not.
Come to think of it, I've never given her any grief for her love for shopping. Why should I? its what makes her happy. So, why won't she just leave me alone?
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 1:31pm On Oct 31, 2011
coolruler:

Come to think of it, I've never given her any grief for her love for shopping. Why should I? its what makes her happy. So, why won't she just leave me alone?

Come ooo don't go diaaaaa. I love shopping too and if Mr Kadry decides to hide his ATM card from me, that will be the end of Jenny's happiness(God Forbid) cry cry cry cry cry cry

Awww cheiii, the man has given up checking his acct balance, it is never the same when I am around embarassed
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by asha80(m): 2:07am On Nov 01, 2011
coolruler:

@Richvkunt,
No, I do not and have never drank to intoxication. Two bottles of Heineken is what I permit myself and that is what I enjoy. I'm trying my best to be a model husband, but she's not making it easy.
i think she's further pissed because I admitted to her Pastor that Yes, I do enjoy my Beer. I guess she sees that as meaning she cannot control her home.
All am asking is the freedom to kill one or two bottles of beer when I feel the urge. Surely that is not too much to ask?
Why is she taking it so personal?

@chaircover
Thank you. I suggested substituting with wine, but she wants to choose the type. This is what am totally against. I'm not going to lose my freedom to choose whats best for me, marriage or not.
Come to think of it, I've never given her any grief for her love for shopping. Why should I? its what makes her happy. So, why won't she just leave me alone?

i dey feel you my guy.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Fhemmmy: 2:12am On Nov 01, 2011
if it takes you beer to be a man, then, you are not really yet a man . . . . . . It takes more than bottles of beer to be a man.
I think you should be happy that you have a woman that cares so much about you and your wallet and bold enough to face you and tell you the truth.
Giving up beer will save you money and you are sober at all times.

So say thanks to her and walk away from beer, but you could tell her though that you might become an occasional drinker . . . . .

1 Like

Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by OAM4J: 4:02am On Nov 01, 2011
As much as i don't like her stance of "choose between beer or me", I also think she wishes you well.

I don't expect you to give it up overnight, but gradually withdrawal over time wont be a bad idea, and you can discuss that with her.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 5:35am On Nov 01, 2011
//.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by blank(f): 9:29am On Nov 01, 2011
then give up the beer na. tongue
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 12:54pm On Nov 01, 2011
Personally, I'm not a beer drinker. I prefer the occasional wine, or Baileys on ice. But, I digress.

I have nothing against those that favour beer, male or female. I don't get the issues here. This guy drank beer before they got married, before their courtship. Why is the beer drinking suddenly an issue? In my honest opinion, this is more of a control thing. Or some people (person?) has bent her ear over him drinking alcohol. Her "pastor" springs to mind.

She needs to be straight with her hubby, and tell him why she suddenly wants him to give up drinking beer, when it wasn't an issue during their courtship days. Is it because:

01) She's concerned for his health?
02) She's concerned about the cost implications?
03) She's been coerced by her "pastor" to encourage him to stop drinking?

Either way, her method sucks. Giving a guy an ultimatum isn't the way to go. If I was given such an ultimatum, I wouldn't take it lying down. She'll be shocked at my decision.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 3:45pm On Nov 01, 2011
you have a bad wife.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Fhemmmy: 4:00pm On Nov 01, 2011
chaircover:

And then tomorrow she tells you that she doesn't like friend so so so and so and doesn't want him around, next it will be your mum and your sister, or she doesn't like your secretary and tells you to resign from the company or sack the secretary and it goes on from there. Why didnt she tell him the truth BEFORE they got married?

The poster said that he drank moderately before he got married and he is trying his best to be a good husband [/b]so why is she giving him ultimatums now and why is she reporting her husband all over the place?

Reading between the lines the poster is ready to reduce or quit drinking;  its just a matter of time. That is the trouble with us women sometimes; we use machine guns to kill mosquitoes. Patience is a virtue.

[b]All the lady is asking for is for the man to stay away from beer, i am sure she would have reason for asking her husband to stay away from beer.

However, the man's statement about, the wife dont want him to be a man is what made me to say what i say, it does not take a beer to make a man a man.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by minute(f): 4:36pm On Nov 01, 2011
Cut back for her. Relationships are about making sacrifices for each other.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 5:30pm On Nov 01, 2011
minute:

Cut back for her. Relationships are about making sacrifices for each other.

I think the point here is being missed. Without knowing why the wife wants her hubby to give up drinking altogether, it's difficult to work things out. From what the OP has posted, he was drinking beer before, and during their courtship. Why has it suddenly become an issue?

You suggests he cuts down, he drinks 2 bottles a day. Cut down to one? I can see more than sacrifice or compromise here. I see control, and I'm curious to know what the wife's objective is here.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Roland17(m): 6:05pm On Nov 01, 2011
davidylan:

you have a bad wife.
Who are u to make such comment about someone else's wife? Embarrasingly annoying angry

1 Like

Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 6:08pm On Nov 01, 2011
minute:

Cut back for her. Relationships are about making sacrifices for each other.

if this had been a problem when they were dating then i see your point.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by armyofone(m): 6:27pm On Nov 01, 2011
You are complaing, wait till your liver start acting up.
you should be thankful your woman is helping you. but i guess the 'i be the man' characteristic is blinding you undecided
you better listen to her and stop drinking, alc is bad for your health. a word is enough for the wise.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by armyofone(m): 6:30pm On Nov 01, 2011
coolruler:

I got married to the love of my life, about six months ago and I thought I would finally settle down to a life of marital bliss.
There's a little problem however, my wife wants me to give up Beer.
I enjoy my Heineken as much as the next guy, and she was totally cool with it during our courtship. After our wedding however, its either I choose Heineken or I choose Her. One has to go.

This is very unfair. I never asked her to stop being a woman, why should she want me to stop being a man? Heineken is one of the little freedoms I have left. If I give it up, what happens to me? Would I be happy? Would I be fulfilled? won't I forever nurse a grudge?
I've tried appealing, reasoning with her all to no avail. As it is, I'm not ready to stop drinking Beer yet, at least not on her say so.

She complained to her Pastor who secretly advised me to negotiate with her.
So, what do you think? Should I negotiate?


soaking, baring, bottles of beer you drown in never show how manful you are so cut it there bros.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 6:45pm On Nov 01, 2011
armyofone:

You are complaing, wait till your liver start acting up.
you should be thankful your woman is helping you. but i guess the 'i be the man' characteristic is blinding you  undecided
you better listen to her and stop drinking, alc is bad for your health. a word is enough for the wise.

I don't think you're reading all the responses here bud. She wants to choose the substitute wine. This appears to be more about control. Liver damage? We're talking beer, not spirits. The average beer is 5,5% alc. vol. The average wine is 13% alc. vol. Before you preach about health implications, you need to ask yourself why the OP's wife wants him to give up beer, yet will happily choose wine for him!

There are things in life more harmful than drinking beer. I doubt the wife is worried about his health, there's something else, and that's what the OP needs to find out. If she can't state what her reservations are, then my opinion that her actions are all about control are valid, more so as she knew he drank beer during courtship. Courtship is about ironing out the bugs that you couldn't live with once married, yet she waits till she's tied the knot, before attempting to change her man? Get real!
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by dayokanu(m): 7:00pm On Nov 01, 2011
Then ask her what she would give up in return? Maybe shopping or something she enjoys too.

Why should you give up beer?

Choose between beer and her? ROFL She is really pushing her luck

Better tell her to stock the fridge with beer before you start going out to drink and discover that the lady out there has a firmer Ikebe

What next? Choose between her and Arsenal, Man Utd or Barca?
Choose between her and playing Golf?
Choose between her and your job?
Choose between her and your mercedes?
Choose between her and the kids?
Choose between her and your family?

WHy are some women so self centered
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Nobody: 7:03pm On Nov 01, 2011
dayokanu:

Better tell her to stock the fridge with beer before you start going out to drink and discover that the lady out there has a firmer Ikebe

Good advice there bro.

*Nkem says hi* wink
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by armyofone(m): 7:22pm On Nov 01, 2011
2 bottles of beer daily x 7days = 14bottles x 5.5=
grin
anyway, OP all the best. I hope you both find some agreement.
don't forget to ask her to join you for beer.

dayokanu, keep quiet there and sharap tongue
how are you? ready for the cold?
Pele.
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Fhemmmy: 7:35pm On Nov 01, 2011
armyofone:

soaking, baring, bottles of beer you drown in never show how manful you are so cut it there bros.

My point exactly . . . . I have no problem if they could both arrive at some arrangement, but the man put his foot into his mouth with that statement of losing her manliness all cos of giving up beer
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by dayokanu(m): 7:49pm On Nov 01, 2011
^^ Would it be wrong for a lady to say Shopping makes her feel happy?

Or dressing up in nice clothes and heels and makeup makes her feel like a woman?

armyofone:

dayokanu, keep quiet there and sharap tongue
how are you? ready for the cold?
Pele.

I dey here, You forgot me since.

I'm not ready for the cold oo. Are you still in Ft Worth?
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Beetle: 8:02pm On Nov 01, 2011
Maybe she wants you to give up for health reasons.

I also want DH to give up drinking as well because we have infertility problems, as i'm typing this i can hear him opening a bottle of henessey downstairs. Really i've given up on him now cos he is the reason for our infertility if he doesn't give up, i don't know what to do. We're in our sixth year of marriage. I've tried everything and if anyone has any idea what to do pls advice me!!
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Fhemmmy: 8:09pm On Nov 01, 2011
dayokanu:

^^ Would it be wrong for a lady to say Shopping makes her feel happy?

Or dressing up in nice clothes and heels and makeup makes her feel like a woman?

I dey here, You forgot me since.

I'm not ready for the cold oo. Are you still in Ft Worth?

Why cant we equate right thing with right stuff . . . . . The man never said, drinking beer made him happy, but made him a man.
If a woman say shopping made her a woman, i will run and never touch such woman with the longest pole . .
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by yodiyokun(f): 8:42pm On Nov 01, 2011
I think this is more of a control issue.

If she never liked beer, why did she not tell you before she said "I do".

6 months marriage and she is already talking to the Pastor about your little disagreements mtscheww.

All these smalll girls sef,

Anyway, look for ways to appeal to her, you have to use wisdom to deal with her.

Good luck!
Re: She Wants Me To Give Up Beer by Fhemmmy: 8:52pm On Nov 01, 2011
She see that her husband is drinking and cos she loved the man, appeals to him to stop drinking . . . and that made this controlling?

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