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In Too Deep! - Romance - Nairaland

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In Too Deep! by MoneyRule(m): 10:29pm On Oct 30, 2011
This is going to be long so, i hope you indulge me.
Okay, late last year, i became friends with this rily nice gal girl in my class. at first, i just wanted to be friends
i had no form of attraction to her & didn't rily care much,but we became very,very close that i began to care, so close that every1 thought we were dating
it didnt mean aything to me till about july this year, i began to like her alot, she filled all my thoughts and actions
and i could have sworn she felt thesame way, so i asked her out and her reply(best understood in her own words); "what do i tell my friends, we are classmates
and i won't feel comfortable in thesame class with my boyfriend, i feel we will quarell alot and i won't want dat, i have a boyfriend(this guy is a banker
in lagos,she's neva seen this guy,they met on facebook)". In summary, her answer was "no" (imagine my surprise). At first, i thought "ok, give her time she might
change her mind" then in a moment of enlightenment, i thought to myself "if she can't imagine telling her frnds abt my change of status now, she won't l8r. i will always be her classmate.
we quarelling is not a reasonable reason. there's no way a r/ship with sum1 far,far away will stop her if she wanted and since she mentioned him as her last reason, he surely doesn't factor in"
so,i decided to stay frnds but couldn't so i called & told her dat i liked her too much and that she was all i culd think about (basically confessed) but since we both know we culdn't take the next step and being frnds was now harder, we should end the frndship.
she asked me if i was sure of what i said, i said "yes", she said "ok" and that was it, she neva said anything abt it(jst lyk dat!). The problem is; it's been over a month now and i still can't get her out of my head! so much that i can't
read or do anytin without thinking abt her and believe me, it's distracting. i'm a medical student preparin 4 my MBBS so i can't afford to be like this. i don't regret ending the
frndship(i think it was d right thing to do), i don't want to go back(i believe that ship has sailed), i've deleted txt msgs, pictures, everything, but i still can't forget! please, i need help! How do I forget this Girl??!!
I've had a Very active social n sexual life which i credit to not giving too much, never dated a frnd, neva rily cared abt rily knowing d gals i dated, i always kept it "light" so this is an entirely strange position
for me and one i nid to leave ASAP! so Guys, Help me please. Thanks.
Re: In Too Deep! by slimyem: 10:41pm On Oct 30, 2011
This your story long o buh i manage read am sha.
Errrm, which is more important to you??MBBS or girlfriend?
U had better focus on your books right now and dont hope nothing.with time,you'll get over it and you'll find someone else.
Re: In Too Deep! by Nobody: 11:02pm On Oct 30, 2011
E ya, sorry Op. I'm sure you know wat to do n wats best for you at this moment, you just need people to talk to and encourage you, you'll b fine ok, Just don't force her out of your memory, I mean ending the friendship, deleting her pics n txt msgs probably made it more difficult for you to let go.

Let it b a natural thing n pls do wat u have to do to b focused, you wudnt want her to leave you at that level cos of ur loss of focus. Be wise! Cheers!
Re: In Too Deep! by omega25red(m): 11:07pm On Oct 30, 2011
what i can tell you is that you need your fix. you need to see her and talk to her as a friend that way you can get your fix of her and feel better. you are missing the communication, friendship and sexual tension between the two of you so you need a fix. Next time you see her make sure you talk to her and be friendly to her that way you will feel 100% better trust me i know what im talking about. wink
Re: In Too Deep! by Nobody: 11:22pm On Oct 30, 2011
I understand u well, when u get so close to someone emotions will involve. U've answered urself and done d right thing, u've deleted pics and u realise that ur MBBS is more imptnt than a girl. Get it into ur head, she's gone. Dont bother urself about whoever she said she's dating, it's non of ur biz. Distract urself, visit other girls, focus on ur exams. No state of emotion is permanent, trust me, she'll soon be history.
Re: In Too Deep! by SaVoy(f): 5:51am On Oct 31, 2011
I understand where your coming from i been in your position with a friend of mine but were still friends its hard because i still have to see him and be around him but you cant let your feelings affect your education. What i have done in the past to say focus was say a quote everytime i thought about him, "Never make someone an priority in your life when your only an option in theirs" it works trust me!
Re: In Too Deep! by Nobody: 6:10am On Oct 31, 2011
op na wa 4 u o. Na by force? She said NO. I actually thot u were goin to respect that bt you f.ck up big time by simply cutting or ending the friendship. That shows sign of desperation. Ladies easily gets turn off with sure. U don f.cuk up na book no com dey enta your brain again. Kai u don sufer. So u no get mind y u com end d frndship? Beta go reconcile with her. Trust me, u will be fine when u do dat. Book go com dey enta brain wella.
Re: In Too Deep! by MoneyRule(m): 7:05am On Oct 31, 2011
@slimyem
i think i've already answered dat qxn, i've already organized my priority, i nid help forgetting wat was.
@yorke
as i stated earlier, i tried being frnds(blieve me, i tried), it became hardwork an now, i rily don't care how turned on or turned off she is, i jst nid 2 forget n goin back is off d table.
Thanks guys, kip 'em coming!
Re: In Too Deep! by freecocoa(f): 7:22am On Oct 31, 2011
I really won't blame Op for ending the friendship(maybe its wrong)but he was just looking for a way to get her out of his head and didn't know that will make it harder,seriously I don't know what to advice in this cos I'm currently undergoing something like this,just how do you forget someone you are always thinking of? I don't think ending the friendship would do it(though it does for some people)all I can say is if you can't survive not talking to her then keep talking to her and hope for the best that with time like everyone says,it'll all go away(I just hope mine does)but you just have to not let it get in the way of your studies,I'm sure you can handle that.Goodluck with your exams.
Re: In Too Deep! by Nobody: 7:34am On Oct 31, 2011
U will depress urself more by still talking to her, that doesnt mean u cant call her to say hello, but not more than that. U've gone a month without her, kudos. No girl/boy is worth d fuss. No emotional state is permanent, time and separation will fade ur feelings!
Re: In Too Deep! by Nobody: 8:21am On Oct 31, 2011
OP; you've made a mistake which is not too late to be corrected. Bé nì. U should have concealed ur intention by gradually cutting ursef off her rather than u openin ur mouth to 'disfriend' the frienship. Which is making it even more harder 4 you 2 get her off ur mind. I've been in this situation n dats what i did b4 she called n askd y i mine driftin mysef frm her. I form buzy na. No time. B4 i knw her thot eraze 4 my mind. It wil b vry hard 4 again bcoz both of u r class mate. U see every now n then. Abeg go reconcile with her n if u thruly want 2 set ursef free or beta still hook up with some1 esle sharp sharp.
Re: In Too Deep! by iice(f): 1:38pm On Oct 31, 2011
Don't understand much except the end.
She said she has a boyfriend, and you're like. . .if the boyfriend is far away nothing can stop her from having a relationship? Like seriously? undecided

You need a new friend. Someone you can care about. Don't go doing the same thing though. Not that people will learn.
Re: In Too Deep! by kpolli(m): 4:14pm On Oct 31, 2011
its called Karma
Re: In Too Deep! by Nobody: 10:36pm On Oct 31, 2011
Wow~! poor you
Re: In Too Deep! by MoneyRule(m): 11:56pm On Apr 15, 2012
I went back(guess i couldn't stay away afterall), told her i culdn't not have her in my lyf n lng story short, we've bin dating 3 months nw & trust me, i can nw concentrate on oda important things. Thanks y'all for ur advice.
Re: In Too Deep! by bodejohn(m): 10:38pm On Apr 16, 2012
So good you finally came together. I had same experience too, meet the lady in 1999, we became very good friends and I wooed her, she said NO, giving some valid concerns and excuses. We dragged this till we both left school but I kept the contact. After 8 years of continuous friendship we got married!
Base point for as many as would be reading this, when you bond so well at friendship level with the opposite sex and you both are not in serious relationships, it could take some time but surely, you will crawl into each other embrace.
Re: In Too Deep! by Nobody: 11:24pm On Apr 16, 2012
bodejohn: So good you finally came together. I had same experience too, meet the lady in 1999, we became very good friends and I wooed her, she said NO, giving some valid concerns and excuses. We dragged this till we both left school but I kept the contact. After 8 years of continuous friendship we got married!
Base point for as many as would be reading this, when you bond so well at friendship level with the opposite sex and you both are not in serious relationships, it could take some time but surely, you will crawl into each other embrace.

Not surely smiley

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