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What Makes A Child An Ajebo / What Makes You Feel Your Spouse Is The Best? / What Makes People To Steal? (2) (3) (4)

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by Nobody: 1:33pm On Nov 05, 2011
Re: by ronkebp(f): 2:35pm On Nov 05, 2011
My dear, that is just a tip of the iceberg, and maybe they are on NL, and would say their wives did this or that.

Respect begats respect, i don't know how a man would totally disrespect his wife and expects her to worship him. In as much as we know that 'we' as women need to work on ourselves daily, the men also should step up their game and be that loving husband they ought to be. If you talk too much now, ''they'' will say, na feminist dey at work again. cool cool cool
Re: by mazaje(m): 4:33pm On Nov 05, 2011
Why is it that after years of marriage couples can't help but grow apart?. . . .My elder cousin used to play with his wife and call her baby or honey every where, that was 5 years ago, now she can't remember the last time he told her he loved her. .They are always snapping at each other. . .I just pictured them when I read the story of couple B. . . .Na wah ohh. . . .
Re: by Nobody: 4:35pm On Nov 05, 2011
Let's not lie, most Nigerian couples especially in Nigeria are like that. grin
I don't know if it's respect they call it.
You notice some grim faced man with a wife that appears as if, if she moves her blouse would tear. And I wonder do this people 'play' at all. cheesy
Not saying the wife is the docile type, but in public that is how Nigerian couples appear.
Is that how married life is? grin
Re: by mazaje(m): 4:47pm On Nov 05, 2011
stillwater:

Let's not lie, most Nigerian couples especially in Nigeria are like that. grin
I don't know if it's respect they call it.
You notice some grim faced man with a wife that appears as if, if she moves her blouse would tear. And I wonder do this people 'play' at all. cheesy
Not saying the wife is the docile type, but in public that is how Nigerian couples appear.
Is that how married life is? grin

Husbands and wives do not even walk together, its either the wife is in front and the husband is behind or the husband is in front and the wife is behind, yet they will be having a conversation. . . grin
Re: by maclatunji: 4:49pm On Nov 05, 2011
stillwater:

Let's not lie, most Nigerian couples especially in Nigeria are like that. grin
I don't know if it's respect they call it.
You notice some grim faced man with a wife that appears as if, if she moves her blouse would tear. And I wonder do this people 'play' at all. cheesy
Not saying the wife is the docile type, but in public that is how Nigerian couples appear.
Is that how married life is? grin

LOL, I think it's because we do not have enough sitcoms on our local television and people are all stressed-up. I am half-joking here!
Re: by Nobody: 5:16pm On Nov 05, 2011
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Re: by maclatunji: 5:19pm On Nov 05, 2011
chaircover:

LOL reminds me of when my husband and I were caught kissing at a wedding in Nigeria and our picture was published in a magazine. People were like WTF. Kissing in public ke!!! Someone even thought that my husband was kissing another woman because they couldnt beleive that he will kiss his wife in public embarassed

BTW it was a simple kiss o! no exchange of drool grin

^^^The photo should have been captioned: Society lady and her husband sharing some tender moment grin
Re: by Nobody: 5:26pm On Nov 05, 2011
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Re: by maclatunji: 5:40pm On Nov 05, 2011
Madam it's my intuition. The thing scares me too!
Re: by dayokanu(m): 6:11pm On Nov 05, 2011
Maybe the men found out the women dont respect lovey dovey husbands
Re: by maclatunji: 6:16pm On Nov 05, 2011
^^^I think you have something there.
Re: by Nobody: 7:47pm On Nov 05, 2011
chaircover:

On a flight from Lagos recently, I was people watching as usual and this is what I noticed.

Couple A - Husband didn't say a word to his wife throughout the flight. Each time she tried to speak to him it was a grunt or a yes or no answer or as limited words as possible. I didn't know that they were husband and wife until we landed and the kids came up and called them mummy and daddy. Anyway he stood back while wifey and the kids got all their suitcases off the conveyor belt. At a point the kids and wifey didn't have the strength to get a particular suitcase off the belt so it had to go round a second time, but hubby didn't rush forward to help at all. He was just rabbiting away on his phone, ignoring all the drama.

Couple B  - I am outside the terminal now waiting for my taxi and standing a few metres away from another guy I was on the flight with.  Few minutes later wiwifeulls up in a brand new merc with a child in the front seat but I dont think she spotted her hubby on time. He starts cussing; cant she see bla bla bla. Eventually she sees him, starts smiling and stops the car and the guy walks towards the car but you can see that he is still angry. Still scowling, hubby goes straight to the boot and starts putting his luggage in the car. Not even a kiss or cuddle for his wife who has taken the effort to come pick him up. He takes the key from his wife, jumps into the drivers seat and wifey has to sit at the back and he drives off.

Is it me but I am thinkng, why are these guys so arrogant towards their wives? Is that they way they are and it has nothng to do with their money or has the money gone to their brains  and these were young educated guys.

And if it not arrogance, then have they just grown so far apart? Couple B are in their early thirties & couple A in their early forties.



Never judge a book by its cover.
You do not live with these couples and you do not know them,you only spent a few hours on a plane flight observing people you dont know from Adam and conclusion-ARROGANCE!

Lots of couples in Nigeria are like this and it does not mean they are arrogant or love their wives less,in fact some people do not like external show of love but that does not mean they do not engage in it in the house or behind closed doors!
As for the guy that collected the keys from wifey and drove the car by himself-it is a known fact that most women are poor drivers and they man just wants to be in control of his expensive machine.Secondly most women demure to their husbands when it comes to driving a car as a sign of respect-we call it leeting the man be in CHARGE of letting the man take CONTROL.
From the two scenarios you have painted I have not seen any arrogance,but loving women who accept that their husbands are the head of the house and they readily conceded their positions to them.Thank you.
Re: by maclatunji: 8:06pm On Nov 05, 2011
Excuse me sir, are you one of the men in question because they could not have defended themselves any better if they were here!
Re: by Nobody: 8:07pm On Nov 05, 2011
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Re: by ifyalways(f): 8:23pm On Nov 05, 2011
@Topic,IMO that's no arrogance,aggression?Maybe.Some like it kept within,some thrive in public display of affection while others go with less is better. . .

Nigeria needs help though.The stress in this coutry is more than enough to turn a monk to a beast.Every one is stressed out,aggressive and going about with "anya red",no dulling.End product of all the stress is transfered aggression,people snapping at the slightest things,married couples too are victims.

What's more to it,we are blessed with "understanding hearts" (people living in naija) so what might look strange,unacceptable to the diasporans means nothing to an everyday Nigerian.Mom snaps at dad today and morrow is dad's turn but still at the end of the day,mom and dad still share same bed.
Re: by r231(m): 8:28pm On Nov 05, 2011
chaircover:

Richy You are absolutely right, I don't live with these couples and I don't know what goes on behind closed doors but as they say is ishe ile lo de ita. People generally do outside what they are used to doing inside.

Is it an external show of love to watch your wife struggling with heavy suitcases while the stronger hubby stands back? Is it a show of love to cuss your wife because couldn't see where you were standing in a busy place like Heathrow.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that these guys don't love their wives; after all I am made to believe that men can have affairs and still love their wives dearly.

The reason I used the word arrogant was because these men were first class passengers and I thought that maybe it could be that their money was "shaking" them so much that they had lost the plot of how to treat a woman. At the very least it is ungentlemanly to let a woman carry a heavy load when you are around.

. . . and let it be known that many women are very good drivers; I certainly am. Havent had an accident in 10 years cool grin

True grin grin
Re: by ifyalways(f): 8:46pm On Nov 05, 2011
. . .and just playing the devils advocate,could the suitcase scene be linked to an earlier misunderstanding @ home before the travel.I think one of the likely reasons a husband would behave that way is when maybe he felt that some of the luggage are not needed for the trip but the wife(typical of women) insists and husband decides he won't partake in hauling and handling of the said boxes.It's not ideal but some men can be stiff necked . . .and some women too darn stubborn.

All na shakara !
Re: by Nobody: 9:14pm On Nov 05, 2011
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Re: by Nobody: 9:29pm On Nov 05, 2011
maclatunji:

Excuse me sir, are you one of the men in question because they could not have defended themselves any better if they were here!

No sir,I am not one of the men,but from what the OP wrote I choose to engage my brain and came to the conclusion that at times ,appearance is not always reality,but then I could have behaved like you and fawned all over the OP and told her what wonderful powers of observation she has got!
chaircover:

Richy You are absolutely right, I don't live with these couples and I don't know what goes on behind closed doors but as they say is ishe ile lo de ita. People generally do outside what they are used to doing inside.

Is it an external show of love to watch your wife struggling with heavy suitcases while the stronger hubby stands back? Is it a show of love to cuss your wife because couldn't see where you were standing in a busy place like Heathrow.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that these guys don't love their wives; after all I am made to believe that men can have affairs and still love their wives dearly.

The reason I used the word arrogant was because these men were first class passengers and I thougmaybe it could be that their money was "shaking" them so much that they had lost the plot of how to treat a woman. At the very least it is ungentlemanly to let a woman carry a heavy load when you are around.ht tha[/i]t

. [i]. . and let it be known that many women are very good drivers; I certainly am. Havent had an accident in 10 years  cool  grin

@CC,
Much as I respect you and do not wish to get into the usual arguements,I think the word "THOUGHT" in the bolded above shows it is your personal opinion and as such may not be true or correct of the two couples in your story.

Secondly the fact you have been driving for 10 years and haven't had an accident,does not you, a good driver make. grin grin grin grin grin
Re: by lucy1(f): 9:32pm On Nov 05, 2011
This depends on the type of up bring received. I will say nurture.
Re: by Nobody: 10:22pm On Nov 05, 2011
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Re: by Nobody: 11:08pm On Nov 05, 2011
CC,
I give up.
You win all the rounds of the bout okay,but take my word of advise;Men do not TOY with their machines,in fact they do not trust any woman to handle these machines properly.Men hate to see a dot of dirt on their machines,not to talk of a scratch on the paint work.
Women can never understand this because it is a man thing!
My regards to Mr CC.
Re: by Outstrip(f): 5:03pm On Nov 06, 2011
The first one I totally blame the woman. If I must I will pull my heavy luggage from the conveyor but when he is done yapping on the phone his luggage will still be on the belt waiting for him or stolen by someone else.

The second one was very rude but you never know what happened. Maybe she was late and has a history of being late but I agree that he could have handled it better. Sometimes travel can be very stressful and we don't always act our best when we are stressed
Re: by Sagamite(m): 5:53pm On Nov 06, 2011
chaircover:

On a flight from Lagos recently, I was people watching as usual and this is what I noticed.

Couple A - Husband didnt say a word to his wife througout the flight. Each time she tried to speak to him it was a grunt or a yes or no answer or as limited words as posible. I didnt know that they were husband and wife until we landed and the kids came up and called them mummy and daddy. Anyway he stood back while wifey and the kids got all their suitcases off the conveyor belt. At a point the kids and wifey didnt have the strenght to get a particular suitcase off the belt so it had to go round a second time, but hubby didnt rush forward to help at all. He was just rabbiting away on his phone, ignoring all the drama.

Couple B  - I am outside the terminal now waiting for my taxi and standing a few metres away from another guy I was on the flight with.  Few minutes later wifey pulls up in a brand new merc with a child in the front seat but I dont think she spotted her hubby on time. He starts cussing; cant she see bla bla bla. Eventually she sees him, starts smiling and stops the car and the guy walks towards the car but you can see that he is still angry. Still scowling, hubby goes straight to the boot and starts putting his luggage in the car. Not even a kiss or cuddle for his wife who has taken the effort to come pick him up. He takes the key from his wife, jumps into the drivers seat and wifey has to sit at the back and he drives off.

Is it me but I am thinkng, why are these guys so arrogant towards their wives? Is that they way they are and it has nothng to do with their money or has the money gone to their brains  and these were young educated guys.

And if it not arrogance, then have they just grown so far apart? Couple B are in their early thirties & couple A in their early forties.

I think you are giving too much default appreciation for and contribution to the wives.

If a man is behaving like that, it is most likely the woman does not add much to his life and is not a positive thing in his life.

It goes back to what I keep on screaming on NL, what do you as a woman bring to the table? What are you offering?Most of the women nowadays think once they let a man be Being Intimate with them, then he owes them and should put them on a pedestal. Like if that offering is that special and like if the guy can not get it elsewhere. It is now compounded with, "I have had your kid, so you should be at my beck and call".

When I say "bring to the table" it is not necessarily financial. A lot of women have to step up.

- Understand your man.

- Understand what he wants, not what some of these useless girls normally think he should want.

- Try and satisfy him and let him know you are there and you will always try your best to make him happy.

- Don't over-value your efforts and then behave like if you are demanding an award. Western raised and influenced girls, take note of this point. Men tend to do more in relationships, so don't carry your big head and think the bit you do is some gold dust.

- Show you appreciate his efforts and contribution to the relationship. It brings more of it if done tactically.

- Don't look for or create drama. Immaturity of most women is immense, their is a fault in somes head with seeking drama, and then they can't handle the drama when it comes.

- When there is an issue/argument, drop your pride and try and resolve it (except in very extreme cases), even if you don't want to be the one apologising. Whether you like am, whether you no like am, you are the one that needs the companionship the most and will be the one hurt the most and longest when it goes wrong.

If you do all that, I find it hard to believe a man will not return it or value you highly except you yourself have been daft with your choice (maybe because you were rushing to marriage and used the shotgun-to-the-head approach or get-pregnant to get him when you both are not compatible, don't understand each other and he is now not happy).

If you choose a shythead man, expect a shythead man.
Re: by Outstrip(f): 6:48pm On Nov 06, 2011
Blah Blah Blah. The first man is just an agbero. Even if he thinks his wife is the poop under his shoe does that mean he should not respect himself. Talking on the phone while your wife and children are panting over your luggage. Even if his wife is a mad woman. Foolish man. His wife should have fed him the phone
Re: by Nobody: 7:36pm On Nov 06, 2011
heheheheheheh sagalicious has turned to a marriage counscellor, ki lo de saga? No money for ya profession again? grin 

@ Richy

I am a very good driver dammit angry , I have driven over the recommended speed limit not more than a 100 times and still haven't received any fine- oh well a few. I have a bookshelf full of driving books my lovely husband thought it right and no stress to go to the Licensing office to get them for me, I recently got told off, was told that If I bash my car I am not getting a RR Sports, don't know why he even thought I would do that.
Re: by dayokanu(m): 8:00pm On Nov 06, 2011
Great comments Sagamite, Great comments

Maybe these women are not contributing much to the union.

No human would treat like crap someone who contributes to your life immesely

How many children would treat a father who takes care of their education and affairs vs A father who doesnt do nothing
Re: by Nobody: 8:07pm On Nov 06, 2011
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Re: by Nobody: 8:21pm On Nov 06, 2011
[quote author=jennykadry link=topic=797163.msg9494137#msg9494137 date=13206045 

@ Richy

I am a very good driver dammit angry , I have driven over the recommended speed limit not more than a 100 times and still haven't received any fine- oh well a few. I have a bookshelf full of driving books my lovely husband thought it right and no stress to go to the Licensing office to get them for me, I recently got told off, was told that If I bash my car I am not getting a RR Sports, don't know why he even thought I would do that.

[/quote]

Now why am I not shocked at the bolded?
It appears you are driving abroad, so I wonder if you ever heard of places like Mile 2,Sango Otta under the bridge,Iyana Ipaja,Ikeja busstop, when you can drive through these scenes from Dantes inferno without a scratch, then I will accept that you are a damnn good driver. grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: by Nobody: 8:24pm On Nov 06, 2011
Hey, never bashed my car in naija or here, I love driving in Nig. No traffic lights everywhere, no road rules. I am a good driver jo

Lol Last year my dad drove the car to the airport to meet us, my hands were itching to drive out of Murtala Mohammed Airport, the minute my dad handed over the keys, my hubbys words were ''And the bird is finally let loose to fly, c'mon baby lets fly but with me follwoing you behind in a taxi''. grin
Re: by Outstrip(f): 8:26pm On Nov 06, 2011
To be honest I don't think I can drive in Nigeria. Thinking about it just fills me with dread

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