Are you Married to or Dating a Pilot!

Whats he like, does he come home regularly from flights or is always on nightstops, spends time with you at home when his around. Or is he just never around, and when he is around off he goes just as fast as he arrived.

Do not get me wrong, I love him so much, takes care of me and the kids, but I miss his company and don't know how to cope anymore.

zaz

LOL LMAO

zazoo:

Are you Married to or Dating a Pilot!

Whats he like, does he come home regularly from flights or is always on nightstops, spends time with you at home when his around. Or is he just never around, and when he is around off he goes just as fast as he arrived.[/b]Do not get me wrong, I love him so much, takes care of me and the kids, but I miss his company and don't know how to cope anymore.

zaz

The real question should have been [b]"Do we think his cheating"

omega25red:

LOL LMAO

Why are you laughing

I don't think the lady want to know about cheating. She want to compare and share experience with others whose husbands undertake the kind of work her hubby is doing.

Until you been there, you cannot say how interesting such topic can be. Similar situation can be found among Doctors, Policemen, Soldiers, Nurse, and any profession where one of the spouse don't stay at home for long period. We would like to know how you handle loneliness, boredom and anxiety. Especially one that arise from occational fear due to the nature of those vocations.

They have the money, but madam often surfer silent emotional disturbance regularly.

Why not take full advantage of GSM technology? Call each other regularly, arrange dates between flights, etc. I don't have any other suggestions. Everything depends on what kind of life your husband wants to live.

ask omotola jolade-ekeinde for tips. abi are you her in disguise?

I do not believe he cheats on me, I know his roster patterns and he always calls me when his on a nightstop somewhere on this planet    and when he is delayed on flight he calls me from the aeroplane to let me know his going to be late.

Its just that when he comes home his just fagged out and wants to put his feet up and chill. For a year or more now I have not had him home for more than three days in a row and when he goes on international flights his gone for a few days.

My friends hardly know him and I know my kids miss him so much. My little girl used to cry anytime he walks out the door in his uniform, she thinks his not coming back, but she is ok now, used to him going and coming.

I do not regret getting married to him, he is the love of my life, a very fine man in every manner, but for one reason or another I believe he loves his job more than me.

Right now his off in Dallas on their normal bi-annual recurrency training and thats for about two weeks.

Its tough, very tough.

I miss him.

this life b as e get ohh, if im sit down for house now doing nothing, u will comlain, now im dey hustle make una children no suffer u dey speak in tongues, u dnt need to bring in this kind of topic, if u dont want quit!!!, you love am na im u marry am, so endure wit the love of your life, this topic too sounds childish i must confess

at all at all na witch some women like u dey find 1/3 husband self dem neva c, some dey even dey find man wey dem go dey use im name as husband, dem no c, u wey c better wan unko, no go Bleep up ohh, if u get to rome u bhave like a roman, get used to it n stopppp complaning e sill lov u, atleast im dey kall to tell u whats up, u suppose to dey happy self, or if possible ask omo sexy how shes been coping for the past how many years

byeee

Omotola's case is not an exception and she had once confessed going through similar problem. She didn't pretend it was fun at all. The situation could have broken her home.

What she did may be of interest to the poster. GET BUSY.

Omotola realize, it would be foolhardy for her to just wait for the money. She found escape route in her showbiz career which constantly take her away on locations. The only problem that arose has to do with children. She solved this through mutual agreement with her hubby. They got househelp.

Now, when the husband is in the air, the wife is on location living a make-believe life. That does not mean they don't have problems.

The poster has to engage herself in anything that would keep busy as well or get a full house that would make her home lively. After a while, you would settle in.

The man just have to make money. He need your prayer. That however does not mean he should not make sacrifice.

Both of you would have to sit down and talk.

You have to let him know it is no fun when he was away. You must find time to spend quality moment together. Quality NOT quantity. Some couple lives together and see one another evey hour, but never spend quality time. It is not how long, but how well.

Then, you must always have annual vacation together.
There are many ways, to go about it.

You can transforn any disagreeing situation into positive outcome. All you need is to condition your mind positive.

You may also have to get a laptop and get addicted to nairaland! The joke section would keep you preoccupied. The family, health, Food, romance section etc would avail you opportunity to share with others. You would see the folly and wisdom of Naija men intermingles. You would have fun and empathy simultenously. NL is good for bored housewives.

What is more, you would see the latest pranks youth play and develop instinct to guide your children again hooking up the negatives.

It is fun!

@seun,
technology like GSM cannot solve the problem. Sorry, pilot don't make calls in a plane. It would interupt their job and interfere with plane's communication. He can only do that before and after boarding.

Similarly, except in a case of violation, military workers don't just use mobile indiscriminately. They have to switch off.

U Should av think urself and not bring this issue to this place, Enough DunDU in da house!!!!See enn don't kill urself just find something doing, ur husband can't help it he is afraid of getting broke, Advise him to invest his money shares and all after few years if he check is portfolio he wil be thinking of leaving his Job.Come to the business section of nairaland see how it works he will start thinking anoda direction!!1

this life b as e get ohh, if im sit down for house now doing nothing, u will comlain, now im dey hustle make una children no suffer u dey speak in tongues, u dnt need to bring in this kind of topic, if u dont want quit!!!, you love am na im u marry am, so endure wit the love of your life, this topic too sounds childish i must confess

at all at all na witch some women like u dey find 1/3 husband self dem neva c, some dey even dey find man wey dem go dey use im name as husband, dem no c, u wey c better wan unko, no go Bleep up ohh, if u get to rome u bhave like a roman, get used to it n stopppp complaning e sill lov u, atleast im dey kall to tell u whats up, u suppose to dey happy self, or if possible ask omo  sexy how shes been coping for the past how many years

byeee

@zazoo,
i can imagine what ur goin thru. having someone u cannot share ur worries with n all that. Anytime he is on vacation, pack ur bags and go with him. I am sure when u sit him down and talk things over, he will look at his schedule and see where the family can fit in. The best of time u can be a dad to ur kids is when they are still kids.
discuss it with him.

i can imagine what your going through. having someone u cannot share your worries with n all that. Anytime he is on vacation, pack your bags and go with him.

Good idea. It'll be hard not to whine or nag when you get to meet, but please try not to.
Let your attitude be more of "I'm so glad we're finally together" and a less of "I need you more".

But, hmm, what is it about piloting that demands brutal working hours? Can't pilots work in shifts?

This thread reminds me of Lagbaja's albums: " baby ta ni ko fe wa, shugomu, bla,bla, bla, ".
Our women would not stop amusing me. the point is that they often tell us one side of the gist. I bet, this lady in question has all the material comfort she had always wanted to the extent that her neighbors and friends grin with envy and jealousy. , but has she mentioned that in her story?, NO.

Life is about difficult choices especially as it relates to relationship. If you want a long term relationship with a successful career bloke (pilot,doctor,banker, soldier, bla,bla,bla), that can guarantee you the luxury you desire, then you should be ready for cold and lonely nights as he MAY have to work his socks off to provide all that.

on the contrary, if you want that "homely man", that will make dinner, wash the kids, change dippers and keep you warm every night, then he probably MAY not be in a career that fetches the kind of money that would give you the luxury you desire.

In effect, women should know what they want and their priorities. a woman that is married to a married man would only deceive herself to think that she would not have to fight for attention later in life.

the only choice you got here, is to stand by the "consequences" of the decision you took in the past, i will also suggest you make the most him being around , and of course by a bigger pillow and duvet for the cold nights.


a million women would love to swipe positions with you for all you care.

Wish i was. Dating that is. Wld be nice to have a guy who isn't in my face all the time yet makes life really cosy for me.

I know boyz will kill me on this one.

Well, lady i can i magine your pain. I mean life's all about balance and marraige about companionship right? Right. however most nairalanders dont actually get where you are coming from. Your daughter used to cry whenever he leaves in uniform but she doesn'nt anymore? Believe me that's tellin and profound. But i'm not here to analyse. just be strong and prayerful.

get something doing and whenever d kids are on vacation, join him!

@ poster

am sure if u were sooooooooooooooooooooo busy doing something tangible and profitable,this complaint you jus laid,would probably be the last thing on ur mind.am not sayin you dnt miss him or something,but hey,

hmmm I'm pretty sure most of the people in here giving marital advice are not even married. Anyways, zazoo you are doing something that most people cannot do, give urself some credit for being strong thus far. I suggest you take your concerns straight to him, tell him what you've told us in here, he is afterall the one person in the world you should be able to talk to about anything.

Most people that have never been married will not understand that all financial/material comfort will not take the place of the actual physical presence and time of ur spouse. That you can be able to share the small, simple things of everyday life together is soooo important and must never be underestimated. My advice, talk to him and tell him ur unhappiness with the way things are. You and ur daughter are his FIRST priority in life, and should not come in second to a job, no matter how good a job or how much the money.

Zazoo, accept my sympathy.

Meanwhile, for the guy that said Pilots can't make inboard calls while air-borne should know there are 'satellite' (intrinsically-safe) phones in every international aircraft. So, a pilot can make his calls anytime his bird stabilises.

Zazoo, your hubby is building his flight hours I guess. That will help him easily switch to a less-demanding Pilot job sometime and still earn good money. That's when you will be seeing him more often. He still loves you and the kids.
Just continue praying for him. God bless you.

JeSoul:

hmmm I'm pretty sure most of the people in here giving marital advice are not even married. Anyways, zazoo you are doing something that most people cannot do, give yourself some credit for being strong thus far. I suggest you take your concerns straight to him, tell him what you've told us in here, he is afterall the one person in the world you should be able to talk to about anything.

Most people that have never been married will not understand that all financial/material comfort will not take the place of the actual physical presence and time of your spouse. That you can be able to share the small, simple things of everyday life together is soooo important and must never be underestimated. My advice, talk to him and tell him your unhappiness with the way things are. You and your daughter are his FIRST priority in life, and should not come in second to a job, no matter how good a job or how much the money.

Well said Jesoul.

@ Poster,

Like Jesoul rightly said, please talk to your hubby about it. Hey! be tactful about it. Don't tell him he has put his work before you and the kid, at least that should not come at the begining of your talk with him. Just tell him how much his family is missing him and ask him if there is anyway he can adjust his schedule in order for him to be able to spend more time with his family. Use the word family so that you don't sound like you want him to yourself alone and also work round him nicely so that he does not see you in the light of an ingrate like some folks are already insinuating. Necessity they say is the mother of invention, by the time he gets the flow you will be surprised how much balance he will be able to achieve.

Meanwhile, please do not let the picture of ingrate being painted on this thread get to you to stop you from discussing your feelings with your husband. You are not being ungrateful, you are not being selfish and you are not asking for the impossibility. You are simply asking for your marriage to be put in the right perspective. One of the major reasons why God created the institution of marriage is for COMPANIONSHIP; dear sis, go for it!


Shalom

@poster
I feel you , but being married to a pilot or dating one is not the only one that presents challenges of loneliness or an absent partner.
The key is to know who you are getting involved with and knowing what their job entails.Think of Doctors, Sailors,ocean going fishermen and probably worst ,politicians .
You will realize that something has to give .
You are already in it so you've got to find a way to cope with it or he leaves the job!
P.S no do bad thingoo!

I feel your pain.

How old are your kids?

Is it not possible for you to travel with him on the odd occasion?
For example his two weeks in Dallas could have been a family holiday if
it didn't interfere with your work or the childrens schooling.

@ Zazoo. I honestly think you should tell your husband how you feel. You said you think he might love his job more than you. Perhaps he has just got so caught up in trying to make a good life for you and your kids that thats whats driving him now he might not even notice how you're feeling because he believes he's doing his best for you. I think you should try and organize a getaway for just the 2 of you, without your kids, when you can just spend time with him to talk and get to know each other again, and rekindle your romance. All the best and God bless.

Hello zazoo, I believe I understand what you are going through with your husband. I am also a pilot with one of the Majors in Lagos commuting between Lagos, London and Johburg and right now with the sudden explosion in the aviation industry and increase in passengers in our region and considering the pilot shortage, our workload has increased considerably.

I am not married myself but even as a bachelor have felt the pain and anguish from my friends and folks just by being away all the time. These days I spend more time flying and when on ground find myself away in another country from people I care about.

But if your husband is based with a Nigerian carrier, I do not think you should worry for too long, the industry is easing up with the arrival of new crew and I believe things will go back to normal soon. Its started to ease down a little already and the lads are having more time at home with family. Its just a small sacrifice he has to pay for now. little bit more patience, believe me.

Laughed when you wrote he loves his job more than his family, well I don't think so my dear I am sure he loves u a lot more. It might interest you to know that most times while flying or on a layover in some country most crew spend time talking about how much they miss their family or how to get time off to attend one family function or another, believe me, its a conversation I am well versed in while flying from my married colleagues even though I am single but on the other hand and on a lighter note most of us are very passionate about flying thats the reason why we always run off to work with a big grin smacked on our face. Does he 

Your post here touched me a lot and thanks for marrying my colleague.

Hope this helps, Takecare.

bojanggles

Sorry poster. I just wanted to ask if your husband flies local or international routes. If its local, i mean all dem sosoliso and bellview. ahhhhhhhh. Me im not der o.

@poster

Pls get ur husband a better job maybe he'll quit the one he's doing right now!


I know how u feel though, his physical presence will always be much worth more than his phone calls.

By the way hope he's not [s]_{always too tired to make love to u}[/s]

Career and Family have alway been a big issue,people have given you pieces of advice but the long lasting solution to your problem is to advise your man to invest in some other things so that he can quit the job as soon as possible and settle for something that givs for time for the family,

All the best,

hey, thats not fair, I dont see anything wrong with the mans job !!!!!!

She never said he has a bad job, please. I consider it to be the best job in the world. Nothing better, believe me.

Can you describe what is a better job.

hey, thats not fair, I don't see anything wrong with the mans job !!!!!!

She never said he has a bad job, please. I consider it to be the best job in the world. Nothing better, believe me.

Can you describe what is a better job.

go and ask the Imasuen family how it has been after the illfated Bellview crash. Pilot ko Sailor ni