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Is He Serious? - Romance - Nairaland

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Is He Serious? by Finevv: 1:56pm On Nov 18, 2011
i.
Re: Is He Serious? by tutuwater(m): 2:01pm On Nov 18, 2011
@ op please if you cant take infidelity do not tolerate it. If he shows remorse then accept him and love him for him.


by the way be sure he really loves you and he is not in the relationship for something else.
Re: Is He Serious? by Kx: 2:05pm On Nov 18, 2011
Finevv:

He said he's working on it as it's his biggest weakness, falling for women,  But they're not important, and it's only me he truly cares about

He[b] may[/b] be right.
Most guys, irrespective of their country of origin, could have lots of girlfriends but deep in their heart, they truly treasure a particular one. As wrong as it may sound, it is the bitter truth.
Re: Is He Serious? by Yorisb: 2:06pm On Nov 18, 2011
Finevv:

I've been dating Nigerian man (from Edo state) for almost 2 years now. Things were great to start with, he was loving and caring and a perfect boyfriend. Few months back I've found out he's been cheating on me but I forgave him and begged him to stop, He said he's working on it as it's his biggest weakness, falling for women, But they're not important, and it's only me he truly cares about,

Now I'm a white woman so in my culture this is something that you wouldn't normally accept but because of the feelings I have for him I do it - it is very difficult though.

The question is, is he just saying all this because he's using me and has never been serious with me? Or is it really that Nigerian men can think this way?

Huh You lost me there maam.
Re: Is He Serious? by tutuwater(m): 2:12pm On Nov 18, 2011
Yorisb:

Huh You lost me there maam.
@Yorisb lets spare her the stereotyping for now she could have been misled by various naysayers around.
Re: Is He Serious? by Finevv: 2:13pm On Nov 18, 2011
by the way be sure he really loves you and he is not in the relationship for something else.
Re: Is He Serious? by tutuwater(m): 2:21pm On Nov 18, 2011
you are closer to him than we her, so take your time to understand him and know what he is looking for outside with others and if you can satisfy him with those things. if you can not then it is better to quit the relationship.

but my guts tells me he loves you because it is hard for men to tell their partner about their weakness for ladies. so please if you can help him grow out of it.
Re: Is He Serious? by Nobody: 2:23pm On Nov 18, 2011
Finevv:

I've been dating Nigerian man (from Edo state) for almost 2 years now. Things were great to start with, he was loving and caring and a perfect boyfriend. Few months back I've found out he's been cheating on me but I forgave him and begged him to stop,  He said he's working on it as it's his biggest weakness, falling for women,  But they're not important, and it's only me he truly cares about,

Now I'm a white woman so in my culture this is something that you wouldn't normally accept but because of the feelings I have for him I do it - it is very difficult though.

The question is, is he just saying all this because he's using me and has never been serious with me? Or is it really that Nigerian men can think this way?

[size=14pt]Take a chill pill! smiley

You can agree that cheating is not a Nigerian thing. It's Global, but maybe you've been hearing things about Nigerian men, or actually reading things about Nigerian men from this site, and you are erroneously coming to a conclusion that it is a Nigerian thing!. . . No! It's not. It's part of his individuality, his personality that's why he was quick to admit falling for women, as his biggest weakness. And well, he's actually working on it. But for how long, is what we dont know. You dont know, i dont know! You are the one directly affected, so you should decide how long you will tolerate a cheat, with the potential of leaving you with a heartbreak and a catastrophic damage, to your emotional infrastructure. . .
I wont say he is using you, that may just be a weakness of his. I'll also indulge you to use your initiative. Know your limits, and when to say enough is enough. Infidelity should not be tolerated, but now, you are already playing it down with an emotional wild card. The earlier you face reality, the better. He has NO RIGHTS whatsoever, to toy with your emotions. You should make that pretty clear to him, and then, his response, and subsequent actions would give you an elevation as to where to base your final decisions about you two on. . . [/size]
Re: Is He Serious? by Yorisb: 2:29pm On Nov 18, 2011
tutuwater:

@Yorisb lets spare her the stereotyping for now she could have been misled by various naysayers around.

Fully taken/spared. . . .
Re: Is He Serious? by omega25red(m): 2:47pm On Nov 18, 2011
this post is fake. The poster could have just said i am dating a nigerian man but the poster mentioned where he was from "Edo" she (allegedly she) also mentioned that "i'm a white woman" who still talks like that? i call fake post
Re: Is He Serious? by Finevv: 2:55pm On Nov 18, 2011
omega25red:

this post is fake. The poster could have just said i am dating a nigerian man but the poster mentioned where he was from "Edo" she (allegedly she) also mentioned that "i'm a white woman" who still talks like that? i call fake post

Lol,  well, I do still talk like that and think it's important to point out that I'm not Nigerian,  and mentioned where he's from because again thought it might be important with regards to his background,  But I'll leave it to you to dwell on if I'm fake or not.

sexkillz:

[size=14pt]Take a chill pill! smiley

You can agree that cheating is not a Nigerian thing. It's Global, but maybe you've been hearing things about Nigerian men, or actually reading things about Nigerian men from this site, and you are erroneously coming to a conclusion that it is a Nigerian thing!. . . No! It's not. It's part of his individuality, his personality that's why he was quick to admit falling for women, as his biggest weakness. And well, he's actually working on it. But for how long, is what we dont know. You dont know, i dont know! You are the one directly affected, so you should decide how long you will tolerate a cheat, with the potential of leaving you with a heartbreak and a catastrophic damage, to your emotional infrastructure. . .
I wont say he is using you, that may just be a weakness of his. I'll also indulge you to use your initiative. Know your limits, and when to say enough is enough. Infidelity should not be tolerated, but now, you are already playing it down with an emotional wild card. The earlier you face reality, the better. He has NO RIGHTS whatsoever, to toy with your emotions. You should make that pretty clear to him, and then, his response, and subsequent actions would give you an elevation as to where to base your final decisions about you two on. . . [/size]

@sexkillz - nice one, thanks,  It did make me rethink the issues we're having,
Re: Is He Serious? by Eiregirl(f): 3:56pm On Nov 18, 2011
I don't envy you. If you're going to accept it, then he's going to do it for as long as he can. I don't accept the excuse that he has a weakness for women. If that's the case, then don't be in a relationship!!!! angry
Re: Is He Serious? by iice(f): 5:03pm On Nov 18, 2011
Regardless of where he's from, he's a man and human being.
You need to have a good talk with him, what you want, what you hope to have with him, what he wants, what he hopes to have with you. What values are important to him, to you, what you will stand for, what he will stand for etc. Then open your eyes and watch. For the life of me, i can't understand why people can't read other people especially after forming a bond with them.
Re: Is He Serious? by ronkebp(f): 5:08pm On Nov 18, 2011
@ Poster, it is either this man loves you or he needs something from you, but i would go with the former, or else he would not still be with you. No matter how he strays he would still comeback to you. I will advice you not to tolerate that!!! utter nonsense!! let him know your stand about the whole thing, or else he would keep doing his thing and thinking you will always forgive him.
Re: Is He Serious? by Finevv: 5:29pm On Nov 18, 2011
ronkebp:

@ Poster, it is either this man loves you or he needs something from you, but i would go with the former, or else he would not still be with you. No matter how he strays he would still comeback to you. I will advice you not to tolerate that!!! utter nonsense!! let him know your stand about the whole thing, or else he would keep doing his thing and thinking you will always forgive him.
Re: Is He Serious? by omega25red(m): 5:37pm On Nov 18, 2011
Finevv:

Yea, I think you have a point there, He always comes back and the mistake I've done was probably tolerating it to start with.
so now that you know you made a mistake accepting his B.S, what are you going to do?
Re: Is He Serious? by Finevv: 5:40pm On Nov 18, 2011
omega25red:

so now that you know you made a mistake accepting his B.S, what are you going to do?

Pray.
Re: Is He Serious? by Yorisb: 6:12pm On Nov 18, 2011
Finevv:

Pray.

Maybe dry fasting as well? angry
Re: Is He Serious? by Finevv: 6:21pm On Nov 18, 2011
Yorisb:

Maybe dry fasting as well? angry

Considering flagellation too, lol
Re: Is He Serious? by Yorisb: 6:47pm On Nov 18, 2011
Finevv:

Considering flagellation too,  lol

I agree. He deserves all he gets.  . .erotically tongue
Re: Is He Serious? by xxcarolxx(f): 6:53pm On Nov 18, 2011
Only you can decide whether you can tolerate his cheating, Can hear him saying baby don't you know your the only one for me, your the only one i love, Bla bla bla, My ex tried to tell me it was a black thing, Which i laughed at and proceeded to throw him out of the house, You will have to stand up and say enough is enough that you are not willing to tolerate his cheating, Hope things work out for you,
Re: Is He Serious? by Dyt(f): 6:56pm On Nov 18, 2011
Is YORISB serious wit DYT
Re: Is He Serious? by Natasha2(f): 7:00pm On Nov 18, 2011
Finevv:

I've been dating Nigerian man (from Edo state) for almost 2 years now. Things were great to start with, he was loving and caring and a perfect boyfriend. Few months back I've found out he's been cheating on me but I forgave him and begged him to stop,  He said he's working on it as it's his biggest weakness, falling for women,  But they're not important, and it's only me he truly cares about,

Now I'm a white woman so in my culture this is something that you wouldn't normally accept but because of the feelings I have for him I do it - it is very difficult though.

The question is, is he just saying all this because he's using me and has never been serious with me? Or is it really that Nigerian men can think this way?

I don't think you need advice just look at what you're saying like you've dated all Nigerian men phewwwwwwwwwww
anyways thank God others have advised you
Re: Is He Serious? by corkpikin(m): 7:07pm On Nov 18, 2011
Poster Pls work on your Bedmathic equation may be that is what is chasing your edo boy away
Re: Is He Serious? by Yorisb: 7:18pm On Nov 18, 2011
Dyt:

Is YORISB serious wit DYT

'Sup Mon Chérie?
Re: Is He Serious? by omega25red(m): 9:23pm On Nov 18, 2011
Finevv:

Pray.
Pray? what are you praying for? that you get pregnant and be stuck with him for ever or that he gives you the disease you have been waiting to get all this time he had been cheating or maybe you will pray that he repents and becomes a Xtian?
Re: Is He Serious? by Dyt(f): 10:52pm On Nov 18, 2011
Cool dearest YORISB
u nt ansad me?
Re: Is He Serious? by Yorisb: 10:57pm On Nov 18, 2011
Dyt:

Cool dearest YORISB
u nt ansad me?

Mon Cherie, what has YORISB done again 2 deserve such frowner from your majesty?
Re: Is He Serious? by Dyt(f): 11:04pm On Nov 18, 2011
U ignored me
Re: Is He Serious? by Yorisb: 11:05pm On Nov 18, 2011
When, Where, how?
Re: Is He Serious? by Dyt(f): 11:10pm On Nov 18, 2011
Sobs
oya kiss me
Re: Is He Serious? by Nobody: 11:13pm On Nov 18, 2011
@op just let him know how bad u feel about this whole thing,n if he's not willin to change then get him off ur life

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