Help - Shes Killing Me - Romance (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by pendo89(f): 11:48am On Nov 19, 2011 |
Am sorry poster but you sound soo weak. Wait for the other guy call and ul hear what the girl wants u to hear.Then what? you know what, at the end of the day this is not a nl problem but urs. Its your future life with ur future wife. This is what I call blind love.You choose to close your eyes and prefer to deal with surface issues. good luck. |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by 195(f): 11:50am On Nov 19, 2011 |
iyatrustee:  |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by downcasted: 11:55am On Nov 19, 2011 |
pendo89: Dont you get it, im not concerned about this guy's call - if he calls im not even interested in speaking with him It could be a set up just to kill issues, I just want you to come out point blank and fair with me, after she went through this thread today, she was quick to say that i didnt address the issue of we having issues during my last 1year here in europe and that's the reason why she started drifting (while still maintaining that she didnt have intercourse with the guy or any other dude) she claims shes been there only once to the dudes place and that was the day i left nigeria to inform him that her introduction by decenmber this year and refused to state her reasons for choosing to tell him - she claims she didnt even go into his house as his friend and his girlfriend were in the house but im still not concerned bout that, i know im foolishly in <3 with this lady here and shes been cheating on me all these while cos the signs are there - i just ____ i dont know what to say again  |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by Goldieluks: 11:57am On Nov 19, 2011 |
Pretty long story. First of all the OP is way too young to be in such a so-called 'serious relationship' Second of all, both parents have gone too far to involve themselves in this relationship(except maybe there must have been an agreement by both family,for the OP and his gf to get married,no matter what not). Because i do not see why the parents would involve themselves in the first place. Thirdly, i think both parties need a lot of growing up to do,maybe as time goes on they will begin to see their flaws,for your info, at the age of 25,a guy is still learning about life and what it has to offer,thereby trying new things,and as you grow,you begin to learn from past mistakes and it makes you more mature in making right decisions,maybe about your relationship and stuffs. And so is a girl of 22,way too young to settle down, she has to explore new things(not sleeping around) but she still has a lot of time to grow up,you cannot pin a 22 year old down, especially when it comes to keeping relationship,she still has that insight of being too young to get married or to keep a serious relationship,such as this. But as she continues to grow,maybe up to the age of 24-25,the maturity begins to sail in and that is where you start to see changes in her character and her decisions. Am not saying that a 25 year old boy and a 22 year old girl cannot keep a serious relationship,but it is quite rare,and it depends on your life experiences,and from the look of things,its like the OP and the girl in question started very young,and relationship/friendship such at this,do not always end up in marriage. You have to learn to let go sometimes and learn to accept change into your life.You are still very young and you still have time to learn,i always repeat the word learn because 'YES' the more you tend to grow older,the more you happen to learn new things,so as to build your perspective in life. Something you should know is that at her age,it is not easy to wait on a guy,who is abroad,while she is back home, although some girls are not patient enough,but let me tell you something,her friends and people around her might even say to her, 'so you are here waiting for your boyfriend,while he is abroad enjoying himself with some white girls'? they would make mockery of her brain wash her,for god sakes she is still young and who do you think she would listen to? You who's always calling her from far far away, or her friends who are there with her 24/7? Think about it. You have two choices here,which is very obvious, it is either you stick with her,hoping one day she will get back to her senses, i don't know how you'ill do that though (but more grease to your elbow) or you move on,try working on your temperament,and also try your best to accept new friends in your life,and also try as much as possible to give yourself some time before going into a SERIOUS relationship,and also try doing it alone without your parents,they should come in when you have met the right girl(wife) not when you are still trying to meet the right girl. If you do not love the new girl,just be nice to her and make your intentions known to her,so you don't break her heart. Feel free to talk to older friends of yours,they might be of help too. Good luck! |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by pendo89(f): 12:09pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
downcasted: you dont want to be told the writing is on the wall. Ok the drawing is on the wall.Wish I could help u see. |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by chamber2(m): 12:12pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
Op Hope you are not expecting her to tell you she slept with another man? It's very obvious she did. The relationship seems to be complicated. I will suggest you forget about her and continue with your life. We are talking about your future wife here She doesn't worth this headache |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by downcasted: 12:20pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
now this is depressing was it wrong i ever loved this girl? i never should have committed myself into this |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by Flashaldrin(m): 12:34pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
This thread is a waste of time and energy. seun must be behind this.  imagine after giving your babe the link she's cool with it and you are still bashing her knowing she's reading it. nah, i don grow pass this one.  shirleee:you sure about that  I wouldnt if i were you. ask seedord and 190 for details.Dont forget to thank me later  |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by wontgiveup: 12:38pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
BITTER TRUTH, YOU HAVE LOST HER THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO A MAN IS TO HAVE A WOMAN WHO LOVES HIM MORE, TOO BAD YOU LOVE YOUR EX MORE AND THAT'S WHERE THE PROBLEM LIES. IF YOU LOVE YOUR SANITY, FORGET HER AND MOVE ON. TRY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO WORK ON YOURSELF, MAKE SURE THE NEXT GIRL YOU MEET LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE HER, THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP A GIRL NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU'RE GONE. |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by 195(f): 1:02pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
^I admire the courage of the OP He loves that girl so much, are there any guys present like this today Too bad OP - dont worry you know vividly well that they both have no future together what ever she sees in him that she doesnt see in you would definately fade out I believe 5years isnt a Joke and you both have been through thick and thin and when things are just getting right she couldnt finish the cross line, she would look back and regret ever leaving you - Its a pity that another lady would pop out from somewhere and take over your heart, So good to know you have found someone else, give her your all and make her comfortable - all what you ought to render to your old girl move them to this second girl and u would find yourself smiling again She lost 5years of her life not you, leaving an msc graduate for a 400level student who clearly has no future Somebody help me spell the word - DU[i]M[/i]B |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by pendo89(f): 1:29pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
downcasted: No you still haven't felt depression.You sound too young but these are the steps of love.Things like these happen for a reason cz we become wiser. Look at the 5 years as a learning school.Some people come into our lives for a season.And we have the grace to bear them. Once the season is over the grace goes with it as well.You cannot force it to work no matter what. And if you do you will live to regret forever cz that kind of girl could make you kill urself seeing you have given her your all. It's sad but move on. Everybody does and those who refuse end up committing suicide or do drugs. And who knows what the next girl could do? probably worse but hey you will be stronger and wiser to deal with it. Thank God for what he spares us from.We are just too blind to see. |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by silibaba: 1:39pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
very funny but touching story. desperate Guy.u want her back but she doesn't care about u.take time and relax. or betterstill hang out wit your homeboy. forget her.she doesnt deserve u. take ur time and find anoda girl.soonest u will forget all this bull shit. another free love ebook  |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by iyatrustee(f): 1:42pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
The Op seems like a small boi determined to keep himself in bondage. If he were my younger, I wld turn him upside down and whip some sense into his dumbskull! |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by NET1(m): 2:06pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
The little I got from your story frightens me (I couldnt read the entire essay - the reason is obvious). I'll advise you to forget this gurl and move on with your life. It may not be easy, but God will give you grace to carry on. I also advice: "Learn to seldom put emotions in your relationships". If you do this, you will have the energy to move on easily if (and when) it happens again. .NET |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by Woke4all(m): 8:40pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
A really long script but took time to read it. You are really downcasted as i can see from your writeup. Like i saw on da post you carried out some financial responsibities and she might just like you for dat. My guy if you really want things to work out you have alot to do which i doubt will be possible. In a relationship as soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match—or someone else is a better match—your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with even your romantic pictures on the wall. 4/5yrs it's no joke sha but All i can say is forget about her and move ahead! Women plenty for market  Don't even try to talk to her family coz even if you marry her, she is definitely be cheating on you. |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by Macrophage(m): 8:57pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
@ OP. can you just puhleese move on? You are obviously better off without her. If you are depressed, why not seek medical intervention. A short course of antidepressants can help you pull through. This is what girls do to good guys. Be thankful that you weren't sending her money because it wouldn't have changed anything. Why not scout for some local 'tail' and get wasted (waisted) through the night . That'll do you a world of good. Welcome to 9ja!!! |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by emorse(m): 9:15pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
This is a classic case of an "olojukokoro" (a covetous" fellow who wants to eat her cake and have it. Unfortunately, OP is too stuck in love to move on. This love thing self. @ OP, pele o. |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by kelz88(f): 9:17pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
The length of the post, and colour didn't let me read it. Seems like it would have been an interesting story. But all I can say is, if your relationship is complicated enough to take that long-a s s space writing then you are most likely better off without being in it. Some things are just not troubling your head over. |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by 195(f): 9:41pm On Nov 19, 2011 |
iyatrustee: |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by 195(f): 7:30am On Nov 20, 2011 |
emorse: |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by iyatrustee(f): 12:56pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
Stop quoting me or i  |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by 195(f): 1:11pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
or you wetin |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by iyatrustee(f): 1:20pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
Chop off ur |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by 195(f): 1:50pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
Thats better |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by Omolola1(f): 2:23pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
Jeez!, 0P Can sum1 be dis dumb on ds planet My goodness, itz written all over. . . Seemz u dnt evn need any adv cuz ur mind iz already made up. Wud jxt say ds 'make it practical' since u want her so badly nd ur eyes r closd to odas who myt b beta, come down to nigeria, buy her wateva she wantz, scare d guy off. .and get married 2 her! Afta d marriage, i bet ur eyes wud b opend nd u wud knw wat tu do. Thiz iz so dumb! Good lord!!! Ths thread az gotn me pissed! |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by ismaeel86(m): 2:43pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
according to lefulefu, this guy is a victim of african remote control (naija version) with NAFDAC number sef. with all this trouble this babe is giving u, u are still moaning that she is the best thing to happen to u emotionally, guy if u continue like this u will just die at a very young age. face your studies and move ahead with your life, and be prayerful so that all the effect of the remote control will be casted away from u. this is the time to move ahead with your life. OP, LEAVE THE BITCH ALONE. |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by Godmother(f): 3:28pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
And u had to quote d entire message to tell us u'll b right back |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by 195(f): 7:19pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
Godmother: |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by phlame(m): 10:00pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
@sexkillz, True talk, U B Man, @op, Which school she dey? no be Edo state sha |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by Password77(m): 11:00pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
@op, What ever u guys had is dead and currently to her you're nothing but a means to an end. Getting back with her is a suicide mission. |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by downcasted: 11:08pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
Jst called her and she has finally confessed goin to the dudes house and dating him for abt a month or two while he gave her blocking money to sort her courses but she never slept there at nite (while swearing) but only went there during the day and dat she's no longer datin him. On the 31st of last month the day i left the country - She's told him that she wants to concentrate on her relationship and he hasn't called her again since then till last week when she lost an aunty and he called her to sympatize - a source there said she was so excited recieving the call from him as she was screaming my boyfriend is calling me before wishing him sucess for his exam - she said he has never seen her unclothedness bt they av kissed and she took off her top leaving her bra's on but not her trousers - she still insisted that she has not slept wit him and she didn't feel too good when she kissed him so she stopped. I want to thank Nairalanders for their help, you all have indeed been helpful, goldielucks,sexkills, everyone especially you 190 I feel much more relaxed now, now i see why my family seemingly seem to wash their hands off her, she has acknowledged cheating so the ball entirely lies in my court now, The trust i have for her now is completely shattered and she would slowly climb up the ladder of trust again that is if i choose to take her back, shes going for her NYSC next year and i would use that year as a great test for her, Im happy there are both of them Now and they would both be facing the NYSC test next year, She is done with her exams now, graduated and moved all her things back to her family house (weneva shes home, thats when she seemingly seem to be reasonable) but in the midst of her friends shes a skanked green snake - the rest lies with me now and i know Just wat to do she expects me to dump her as she got really annonyed seeing the responses of people here especially lefulefu and ismeal asking me if i believe she used Jazz on me (that aside) she said i can choose to follow the responses of nairalanders but whatever decision i make i should let her know (how boastful) sexkillz sorry i cant take your advice cos not even a dime would still drop from me - TRUST has to be earned not given on a platter of gold, u wont give your money to a stranger, rite now despite after 5years i see her as a stranger, if she had asked me for that money and i didnt have to give her despite truth to be told i do, but cos i wanted to test and see how she would handle issues i xpected her to get from her parents, she was all flashy through out that one year while i battled with my education here I am so much relaxed now getting to the root of this issue and despite been a gentleman i am, i still want to send that dude down to cemetary for crossing my line or i could choose not to depends on my mood - Thank you nairalanders you all have been there for me and i would keep y'all updated on things from time to time as for the girl in question - She would definitely see this again, I still hold on to my earlier stand of not giving her a dime so if she can move on to the next spot or the same guy, thats issue for another day, i do not regret holding back my money and there by making her go out there - if she really loved me she would never had gone out there to meet another dude - funny she claims she loves me 100% thats why she agreed with her family for the introduction which i would definately suspend and if asked why i would make her family understand that she hasnt been faithful to the relationship so im watching her - @phlame yes she a final year student In edostate |
| Re: Help - Shes Killing Me by Nobody: 11:26pm On Nov 20, 2011 |
[size=14pt]Lol! Same way it happened with me. Though she did not kiss him. What i learnt from mine is that the relationship is not all about me! I almost allowed my senseless pride to spoil things. You may sound so strong and in control right now. Maybe because you can vent your anger on a forum like this, but deep down, you'll miss her. 5 years gone down the drain. Dont act as if you arent feeling anything, cos you definitely are. When you are alone, emotions will come rushing. It's not as if you never loved her. You loved her with your all, and you were actually trying to save your relationship with her. I'd rather you ended it on a lighter note. Anger spoils a lot of things. Wish you all the best. You've finally made a decision. No one should castigate you for whatever. What you went thru was emotional torture i admit, but then. . . All the best mate![/size] |
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