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Should I Stay Or Walk Away? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by Nobody: 9:14pm On Dec 09, 2011
damn, you are indeed a hard nut to crack!!!!!

coogar:

except there are different types of hangover. you can be hung over on a sleepless night(alcohol or not). so a man closes at work. . . .then decides to go to a strip club only to return back home at 5 am(no alcohol). you are telling me this man won't be hung over to prepare his kid for school at 7am in the morning? you are a joker.

you are going in circles bro, if there are different hang overs then why do you "assume" that fathers automatically will be drinking to stupor and be dazed the next morning? since you said it yourself "you can drink and NOT be under the influence", lol!

let me give you other economics on STRIP CLUBS, most customers stay 2hrs tops in strip joint, NOBODY STAYS THERE from 10pm till 7am. . . . . . .unless they are infatuated by one of the entertainers. i am talkilng PROPER PROFESSIONAL strip joints, i have no idea what you are on about. . . . . . . but then again, google Spearmint Rhino to have an idea of what i am talking about.


it's a strip club. the combination of the two. a club where ladies strip. what do people do in the club? they drink and dance.
what do people do @ strip clubs. . . .they drink and ogle at unclothed women. i don't know where you get the impression drinks are over-priced at strip clubs. they charge the same amount they would charge in a normal nightclub where people come to dance.
so, men don't have problems drinking in strip-clubs to get stoned and play with nak[i]e[/i]d women.

i dont know what you are on about, the places i am telling you about are DEFINITELY not to go and dance but SOLELY to watch entertainers dance nekkid. its been called a strip club because STRIPPING is the reason people go there, just like a "poker club" is where people go to play poker (not dance), or a fishing club is where people gather to go fishing together (not fish and dance lol)

it's not far-fetching. he has a duty to be responsible as a father.

thank you and so long as he does his duties, he can do what he wants in the night. who are you to be claiming that going out at night is irresponsible? live your quiet life and stop worrying about others having FUN!

in my hood, no show until the men in the bar all contribute their token. mind, this is not the private dance for customers paying for a private show.
this one is for the stage! if the men don't pay enough - the women don't dance. they just prance about, luring men who are interested for private dances.

well i am safe to say that you have NEVER been to a proper STRIP CLUB then!

i hate to get into a di[i]c[/i]k-waving contest.
it's tedious and polemic!

then dont automatically assume (again) that you are the only one who has set foot in such places. lol

even that is bordering on gross irresponsibility - knowing he must wake up to prepare his kid for school.
he would wake up that morning feeling too tired for lack of sleep, etc.

since you actually believe that a man goes to strip joints until 7am then here is something for you to consider, mr SMART SOMEBODY: what if he stays awake the whole night, then prepare his kids for school AND THEN goes to sleep.  or would THAT be also wrong in your world?! lol!

exactly my point.
it's one's responsibility to know who one is dealing with.

and when you DO know who you are dealing with, do you let you guard down or you keep the paranoid stance?!

this is not just how to argue. you are bringing out hypothetical statement that had nothing to do with my statement.
2face didn't want the children he has sired. they all happened "accidentally" and that is my point. he was irresponsible to the point of impregnating the women he didn't want to marry.  stop making your own arguments here.

says who?! how can you sit here and ASSUME (again) he didnt want the kids? did you talk to the guy and he told you he never wanted the kids?! use your mind, pls! having unprotected s[b]e[/b]x can result in pregnancies and most of these people KNOW of these consequences. ITS CALLED LIFE!!!!

where did i say there's a rule? jeeeez - you don't get tired of making your own arguments.

then why bring this case if you dont believe it being the rules?! should i also bring ONE OFF cases?! come up with damn facts or nothing. hey, my neighbor just happened to crack her head open while talking on her phone in the kitchen, should i bring such silly statement to stop people from using cell phones?! duh!

i cited a particular case of an unwanted pregnancy forged by gross irresponsibility of a man. 2face did not plan for those babies.that is as certain as the rising of the sun in the east.

i guess 2face and you must be tight like that. pls next time you see to him, ask him for a signed CD for MBJ! come on!

yet again, you have miscued!
there's a universe of difference between an unwanted pregnancy case  and a man who deliberately impregnates his girlfriend before marriage.
the former is 2face's - the latter is the strings of examples you keep bringing out.

whatever YOU believe is responsible or NOT is IRRELEVANT here. just because YOU are paranoid like that about pregnancy, DOES NOT mean that a man who has a baby while unmarried is IRRESPONSIBLE.

AGAIN, a man who CARES/FEEDS and RAISES his kid IS RESPONSIBLE (however it may hurt you to accept that fact)
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by coogar: 10:37pm On Dec 09, 2011
MRbrownJAY:

damn, you are indeed a hard nut to crack!!!!!
you are going in circles bro, if there are different hang overs then why do you "assume" that fathers automatically will be drinking to stupor and be dazed the next morning? since you said it yourself "you can drink and NOT be under the influence", lol!

sleepless nights can get you hung over. that is my point.
this is why fathers must stay at home and be ready to prepare for their kids early. alcohol or no alcohol is immaterial.
staying wide awake when a father should be sleeping is the crux.


let me give you other economics on STRIP CLUBS, most customers stay 2hrs tops in strip joint, NOBODY STAYS THERE from 10pm till 7am. . . . . . .unless they are infatuated by one of the entertainers. i am talkilng PROPER PROFESSIONAL strip joints, i have no idea what you are on about. . . . . . . but then again, google Spearmint Rhino to have an idea of what i am talking about.

a fact whipped out of the stratosphere or you keep a time log of the customers that attend the strip clubs you used to work for.
on one side of your mouth, you have never been to a strip club. . . .on the other side, you have worked in one.
like i said - anyone can say whatever on a faceless forum. it's tedious, polemic and i don't get into dickwaving contest.


i dont know what you are on about, the places i am telling you about are DEFINITELY not to go and dance but SOLELY to watch entertainers dance nekkid. its been called a strip club because STRIPPING is the reason people go there, just like a "poker club" is where people go to play poker (not dance), or a fishing club is where people gather to go fishing together (not fish and dance lol)

poker club---alcohol are served.
strip club--alcohol are super-served. it's for adults not children.
wherever adults gather, alcohol is served.


thank you and so long as he does his duties, he can do what he wants in the night. who are you to be claiming that going out at night is irresponsible? live your quiet life and stop worrying about others having FUN!

well - if he's responsible, i doubt his partner would bring his matter online to be dissected.
you never thought of that?


well i am safe to say that you have NEVER been to a proper STRIP CLUB then!

shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked
behind your dusty dell desktop, you could infer the above?
please, tell me the lottery numbers for tonight. grin


then dont automatically assume (again) that you are the only one who has set foot in such places. lol

somewhere you claimed you have never been - you now know the workings of it?
haha - nairaland with so many twists n turns. so what's your final answer?
have you been there before or not? grin grin grin


since you actually believe that a man goes to strip joints until 7am then here is something for you to consider, mr SMART SOMEBODY: what if he stays awake the whole night, then prepare his kids for school AND THEN goes to sleep.  or would THAT be also wrong in your world?! lol!

still irresponsible for any father to leave his kids and party out on a regular basis.
madeleine mccann's parents still regret leaving their daughter alone in their rented hotel till today. she's yet to be found.


and when you DO know who you are dealing with, do you let you guard down or you keep the paranoid stance?!
none of the above. . . .i just apply wisdom. cool


says who?! how can you sit here and ASSUME (again) he didnt want the kids? did you talk to the guy and he told you he never wanted the kids?! use your mind, pls! having unprotected s[b]e[/b]x can result in pregnancies and most of these people KNOW of these consequences. ITS CALLED LIFE!!!!

he did not want them. i actually know one of the women involved.
initially, he actually denied responsibility - so don't even strut into that room.


then why bring this case if you dont believe it being the rules?! should i also bring ONE OFF cases?! come up with damn facts or nothing. hey, my neighbor just happened to crack her head open while talking on her phone in the kitchen, should i bring such silly statement to stop people from using cell phones?! duh!

irrelevant to the topic.

i guess

2face and you must be tight like that. pls next time you see to him, ask him for a signed CD for MBJ! come on!

like i said, i know one of his baby-mommas


whatever YOU believe is responsible or NOT is IRRELEVANT here. just because YOU are paranoid like that about pregnancy, DOES NOT mean that a man who has a baby while unmarried is IRRESPONSIBLE.

a man who has a baby he did not plan for is irresponsible.
there's a universe of difference between the two.


AGAIN, a man who CARES/FEEDS and RAISES his kid IS RESPONSIBLE (however it may hurt you to accept that fact)

he's not responsible if the kid lacks a father figure.
money and material things are not enough. being there for him is more important.
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by Nobody: 12:37am On Dec 10, 2011
See tenacity here grin
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by Nobody: 2:41am On Dec 10, 2011
oh gawd!!!!
- so if i understand you correctly, you are now the authority on how BEST to be a father. . . . . . . and anyone who is NOT 100% fresh in the morning is irresponsible. you are definitely funny, i give you that. how awake must one be to wake someone, give them a bath, prepare their breakfast and take them to school? believe me that lil man wont even say many words himself!

btw are you therefore saying that if the maid/nanny is doing all this (like in most 9ja household) then their parents are IRRESPONSIBLE?! lol

- again, you have NO IDEA what you are on about if you believe that customers go to strip clubs from 10am to 7am. if you think that customers are going to stay in a strip club for 9hrs, looking at (or giving money to) the same gal for THAT LONG then you have NO IDEA what you are talking about. and i am just wasting my time with you on this subject. i suggest you educate yourself on the subject rather than writing fables in the sky.
2hrs is the max time most customers will stay, those who stay longer are dedicated to one gal aka mugus in love who come to see the same gal over and over.

- at least you are confirming that a CLUB is not necessarily a place where people have to DANCE, lol!
now what about fishing club are they not adult? why is alcohol not served there? chess clubs? drama club?
many people can have a drink and STILL be responsible father, accept it rather than being stubborn, bro.

- you are so eager to reply that you dont even read anything properly: "i have no reason to go to a strip club TO HAVE A GOOD TIME but i sure have spent MUCH MORE TIME than you probably have in one".(focus on the words "to have a good time" BWAAAAH!). how you concluded that i said i have never been in one is just purely a fiction of your imagination, i guess!

- again, the OP doesnt know what this guy does with his kid so YOU or HER have no business saying that he is irresponsible. . . . . . . . . so long as he cares/feed/raises that child properly. if she doesnt want to be with such a man then fair enough,she should call the guy, say it OVER and let her move on with her life, END OF HEADACHE!

- if you believe that people go to strip clubs to DANCE rather than looking at nekkid dancers then i am safe to say that you have NEVER been to a PROPER strip joints. focus on the word PROPER. again: google Spearmint Rhino to understand what a PROPER strip club is.

- so if the parents of the Mccan kid had paid a nanny (like most "responsible" parent do) then it would be ok to go to a strip club in your world? who leave a CHILD unattended at home anyway? that is the definition of IRRESPONSIBILTY. you got nannies, family members or even friends but leaving a kid by itself is not only wrong but criminal.

- beware of what you wish for when claiming being wise. . . . . . . . . . .

- so now it's no more partying BUT partying ON A REGULAR BASIS! nice move lol!!!

- father figure, lol!!!! bro, i guess in your world, any father who is not around his kid in the morning is an irresponsible father, right? why dont you tell that to all the parents who have their kids in boarding schools all over the world and who see their kids once a week. or better yet to those who have maid, nannies doing all their work. you make no sense!
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by coogar: 3:07am On Dec 10, 2011
MRbrownJAY:

oh gawd!!!!
- so if i understand you correctly, you are now the authority on how BEST to be a father. . . . . . .  and anyone who is NOT 100% fresh in the morning is irresponsible. you are definitely funny, i give you that. how awake must one be to wake someone, give them a bath, prepare their breakfast and take them to school? believe me that lil man wont even say many words himself!

loads of drivers and their passengers have ended up dead driving with a heavy head. when you are sleepy and the brain is tired, you must rest.
you just don't cheat nature.


btw are you therefore saying that if the maid/nanny is doing all this (like in most 9ja household) then their parents are IRRESPONSIBLE?! lol

that they are leaving it to the maid does not make it right, does it?
that 90% of the parents in naija are all facing one direction does not make it right. when you see those kids in school behaving unruly, joining one cult group or the other - we all wonder why they act the way they do. proper upbringing is very important. unfortunately, a lot of people don't know what parenting entails.

nice shooting yourself in the foot by bringing 9ja into it. very nice.


- again, you have NO IDEA what you are on about if you believe that customers go to strip clubs from 10am to 7am. if you think that customers are going to stay in a strip club for 9hrs, looking at (or giving money to) the same gal for THAT LONG then you have NO IDEA what you are talking about. and i am just wasting my time with you on this subject. i suggest you educate yourself on the subject rather than writing fables in the sky.2hrs is the max time most customers will stay, those who stay longer are dedicated to one gal aka mugus in love who come to see the same gal over and over.

10 am to 7am? that's not 9 hrs.
you have not lost your ability to count all of a sudden, or have you?

don't get irritated. how much in your face am i? grin grin grin grin
i am not even sure you know what you're talking about if you think men don't spend more than 2 hrs in strip clubs. they spend way longer than that. most times - it's from one strip club to another sequentially.


- at least you are confirming that a CLUB is not necessarily a place where people have to DANCE, lol!
now what about fishing club are they not adult? why is alcohol not served there? chess clubs? drama club?
many people can have a drink and STILL be responsible father, accept it rather than being stubborn, bro.

yet again, he's making his own arguments. whoever said responsible fathers don't drink. . . .
it's tedious debating with you. heaven knows the number of things you have accused me of saying but i haven't said.

it's one thing to drink. . . . .it's one thing to be a serial night crawler or who frequents strip clubs, flirts excessively, etc when there's a son to cater for.


- you are so eager to reply that you dont even read anything properly:  "i have no reason to go to a strip club TO HAVE A GOOD TIME but i sure have spent MUCH MORE TIME than you probably have in one".(focus on the words "to have a good time" BWAAAAH!).  how you concluded that i said i have never been in one is just purely a fiction of your imagination, i guess!

probably is the operative word. so i am cool with what you typed above. grin


- again, the OP doesnt know what this guy does with his kid so YOU or HER have no business saying that he is irresponsible. . . . . . . . . so long as he cares/feed/raises that child properly. if she doesnt want to be with such a man then fair enough,she should call the guy, say it OVER and let her move on with her life, END OF HEADACHE! 
 

and how certain are you he does these things? undecided


- if you believe that people go to strip clubs to DANCE rather than looking at nekkid dancers then i am safe to say that you have NEVER been to a PROPER strip joints. focus on the word PROPER. again: google Spearmint Rhino to understand what a PROPER strip club is.

spearmint rhino is nothing compared to the several strip clubs i have been in europe.
stop having selfish wet dreams abeg. . . . . .you dunno me, i dunno you - when you say stuffs like i have never been to a proper strip club, i can only laugh. . . . .


- so if the parents of the Mccan kid had paid a nanny (like most "responsible" parent do) then it would be ok to go to a strip club in your world? who leave a CHILD unattended at home anyway? that is the definition of IRRESPONSIBILTY. you got nannies, family members or even friends but leaving a kid by itself is not only wrong but criminal.

and you know for sure the dude in question has a nanny taking care of his child?


- beware of what you wish for when claiming being wise. . . . . . . . . . .

read my lips: i am wise! if you are the opposite, congratulations!


- so now it's no more partying BUT partying ON A REGULAR BASIS! nice move lol!!!

of course, there's nothing wrong in partying. everyone does.
it is when you let things spiral out of control that one becomes irresponsible. too much of everything is bad.


- father figure, lol!!!! bro, i guess in your world, any father who is not around his kid in the morning is an irresponsible father, right? why dont you tell that to all the parents who have their kids in boarding schools all over the world and who see their kids once a week. or better yet to those who have maid, nannies doing all their work. you make no sense!

who is not around his kid in the morning because he's gone to strip clubs, nightclubs, pubs, bars, etc is irresponsible.
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by Nobody: 3:36pm On Dec 10, 2011
LADIES & GENTLEMAN in the red corner with 152 debates/discussions and 125knockouts, i present to you the ever merciful champion MBJ. . . . . . . .and in the blue corner with 140 debates/discussions and 99knockouts the slick challenger COOGAR.

this discussion has been going on for a while, Coogar has been knocked to the floor a few times but he always manages to stand back on his feet. . . . . . . are you ready for round FOUR?! lets go!!!!



bro coogar, i am not following you any longer, so let's clarify a few things:

-  now that we have clarified that drinking isnt "irresponsible", is going to a strip club an irresponsible act then (aka wrong) or is it irresponsible only when you stay there till the morning light?

- is "going drinking" or "partying" once a week irresponsible?

- does a tired parent automatically make an irresponsible parent? or is it only when they decide to do what YOU dont consider appropriate? for example: does a mother who wakes in the middle of the night, to care for a crying child, irresponsible because she didnt go to sleep early?!

- does raising a child ONLY happen from 7am til they leave for school? all the time spent with the kids, after school till they sleep, is irrelevant in your world?

- are you claiming that all the unruly/kid joining cults are the direct result of fathers not bathing/preparing breakfast and sending their kid to school in the morning? lol

- how can someone be an irresponsible father before even having a kid? did the subject of this discussion change? we are STILL talking about responsible FATHERS, right?!

- so are you saying that you automatically get the father figure "stamp"  if you are NOT around because you are working etc, but if it is because you went to a party (marriage for example) or whatever outting that was FUN, then you are NOT a "responsible" father figure?!
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by coogar: 3:53pm On Dec 10, 2011
MRbrownJAY:

LADIES & GENTLEMAN in the red corner with 152 debates/discussions and 125knockouts, i present to you the ever merciful champion MBJ. . . . . . . .and in the blue corner with 140 debates/discussions and 99knockouts the slick challenger COOGAR.

this discussion has been going on for a while, Coogar has been knocked to the floor a few times but he always manages to stand back on his feet. . . . . . . are you ready for round FOUR?! lets go!!!!


knocked to the floor few times? i have never hit the deck in a boxing ring.


bro coogar, i am not following you any longer, so let's clarify a few things:

-  now that we have clarified that drinking isnt "irresponsible", is going to a strip club an irresponsible act then (aka wrong) or is it irresponsible only when you stay there till the morning light?

going to a strip club isn't irresponsible for a young man who has nothing to be responsible for. as a young bloke with the world at his feet. he can party as he wants. when he sleeps/wakes is no one's business. he doesn't have to answer to anyone. he's his own man - his life, his choices.


- is "going drinking" or "partying" once a week irresponsible?

moderation is the key. once a week isn't so bad.


- does a tired parent automatically make an irresponsible parent? or is it only when they decide to do what YOU dont consider appropriate? for example: does a mother who wakes in the middle of the night, to care for a crying child, irresponsible because she didnt go to sleep early?!

parents who get tired constantly to prepare their kids for school because they were out all night partying in clubs are irresponsible. if you are out there doing things ethically, one would understand. however, if a father stays out all night at the club and leave his parenting duties in the hands of a maid almost every time then he's grossly irresponsible.


- does raising a child ONLY happen from 7am til they leave for school? all the time spent with the kids, after school till they sleep, is irrelevant in your world?

raising a child is 24/7. let him know you are there when he needs you. anything short of that is bad parenting.


- are you claiming that all the unruly/kid joining cults are the direct result of fathers not bathing/preparing breakfast and sending their kid to school in the morning? lol

bad parenting is the reason kids become unruly or join whatever cults. if they don't see him as a father at home, they would look for that father figure(capones) on the outside. . . . .this is logic!


- how can someone be an irresponsible father before even having a kid? did the subject of this discussion change? we are STILL talking about responsible FATHERS, right?!

an irresponsible young man would possibly become an irresponsible husband and might graduate to an irresponsible father.


- so are you saying that you automatically get the father figure "stamp"  if you are NOT around because you are working etc, but if it is because you went to a party (marriage for example) or whatever outting that was FUN, then you are NOT a "responsible" father figure?!

if moderation is out of the window. a kid will know his father is onshore working to bring the bacon home. at least when he's asked about his father, he would reply, my father is @ work. what do you expect a kid to say when he's asked about his everyday strip-club loving father? even if his parents lie to them about their whereabouts. . . . .the parents of his mates know what is going on - the information flows downstream back to the kid. he might not say it out. . . .but deep down there he knows the parents are irresponsible.
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by Nobody: 5:00pm On Dec 10, 2011
ok now we have something to go about:
coogar:

going to a strip club isn't irresponsible for a young man who has nothing to be responsible for. as a young bloke with the world at his feet. he can party as he wants. when he sleeps/wakes is no one's business. he doesn't have to answer to anyone. he's his own man - his life, his choices.

moderation is the key. once a week isn't so bad.

ok so if a FATHER goes to a strip joint ONCE A WEEK, lets say from 10 till midnight, and THEN goes home and sleep to be FRESH in the morning. is he RESPONSIBLE? or do you claim that a father cannot go to a strip club, whatever the time?

parents who get tired constantly to prepare their kids for school because they were out all night partying in clubs are irresponsible. if you are out there doing things ethically, one would understand. however, if a father stays out all night at the club and leave his parenting duties in the hands of a maid almost every time then he's grossly irresponsible.

if they went ṕartying ONCE a week, will that make them RESPONSIBLE in your eyes?

raising a child is 24/7. let him know you are there when he needs you. anything short of that is bad parenting.

so what you are saying is that if you aint around them 24/7 (or whenever they need you), you are a bad parent?!
you do know that you should also let your child know that you have a LIFE to live and that sometimes you may be busy doing your OWN things (hobby etc). . . . . . . let's say ONCE A WEEK, right?!

or do you actually believe that parents should just stop whatever they ever did in their lives and be standing next to their kids in case they were "NEEDED"?! no more fun in life, just stand by 24/7?!

bad parenting is the reason kids become unruly or join whatever cults. if they don't see him as a father at home, they would look for that father figure(capones) on the outside. . . . .this is logic!

may i ask where is the father, if not at home sleeping late in the morning (weekends)? or are you saying that because a father sleeps late ONCE/TWICE a week, that will make that child "not" see his father as a father figure (even though that child will be with that father that same afternoon)?!

an irresponsible young man would possibly become an irresponsible husband and might graduate to an irresponsible father.

so again you are assuming that every young men who has ever made a mistake and became a parent, AUTOMATICALLY became an irresponsible parent?! shouldnt you give each and every individual the benefit of the doubt?

if moderation is out of the window. a kid will know his father is onshore working to bring the bacon home. at least when he's asked about his father, he would reply, my father is @ work. what do you expect a kid to say when he's asked about his everyday strip-club loving father? even if his parents lie to them about their whereabouts. . . . .the parents of his mates know what is going on - the information flows downstream back to the kid. he might not say it out. . . .but deep down there he knows the parents are irresponsible.

i dont know how you came about this "everyday in the strip joint" scenario, i guess you are dreaming about a guy who dont even have a damn job too, lol! so he goes to the strip clubs everyday of the week till 7am, sleep till early afternoon, and what next? he is a drug dealer perhaps?!

so let's come back down to the real world and talk about someone who goes to clubs/parties/strip joint once or twice a week, goes home, sleep, and goes to work in the morning (like most people do). is that "moderation" for you? does that person get the father figure stamp?! or only the one who NEVER party at night do?
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by coogar: 6:50pm On Dec 10, 2011
MRbrownJAY:

ok now we have something to go about:
ok so if a FATHER goes to a strip joint ONCE A WEEK, lets say from 10 till midnight, and THEN goes home and sleep to be FRESH in the morning. is he RESPONSIBLE? or do you claim that a father cannot go to a strip club, whatever the time?

how many times do you want me to repeat this? i am tired of these unending questions. you are like a prosecutor cross-examining in court with endless questions without any clues. the point is being there for the kid every morning and if a father must go out at night, let it be for something worthwhile - something he can be excused for - not in whorehouses.


if they went ṕartying ONCE a week, will that make them RESPONSIBLE in your eyes?

once a week - the weekend - kid does not have to wake up early for school - it's a tad acceptable but i'd rather a father does not even visit these places. it's not edifying.


so what you are saying is that if you aint around them 24/7 (or whenever they need you), you are a bad parent?!
you do know that you should also let your child know that you have a LIFE to live and that sometimes you may be busy doing your OWN things (hobby etc). . . . . . . let's say ONCE A WEEK, right?!

and that hobby is visiting strip-clubs? "daddy, what are your hobbies?"
"son, i am a regular @ downing's strip club"
is that the way you want to raise your own child?


or do you actually believe that parents should just stop whatever they ever did in their lives and be standing next to their kids in case they were "NEEDED"?! no more fun in life, just stand by 24/7?!

when you have your children. you can take them to the strip club if you wish.
like i have told you - there are more activities parents can partake in - it does not have to be in strip-clubs. any man with a kid who frequents strip-clubs on a regular basis is irresponsible. if you know any father like that - tell him i said so. quote me and i will say it to his face. grin


may i ask where is the father, if not at home sleeping late in the morning (weekends)? or are you saying that because a father sleeps late ONCE/TWICE a week, that will make that child "not" see his father as a father figure (even though that child will be with that father that same afternoon)?!

f[i]u[/i]ck knows where the father is - prolly drunk and sleeping in his own porch after having so much to drink in whorehouses.
it's just irresponsibility. you can paint it as you wish. hobbies, activities, whatever whatever. a man with a child should not be seen in such places.


so again you are assuming that every young men who has ever made a mistake and became a parent, AUTOMATICALLY became an irresponsible parent?! shouldnt you give each and every individual the benefit of the doubt?

it depends.
the act itself was irresponsible. some men learn from their past mistakes and they straighten up.
some men don't learn and they still continue to spray their seeds everywhere they can find a soil to germinate them. several babies everywhere in the neighbourhood. babymommas chasing them for child support and it just becomes messy. how's that responsible? would you give your sister out to a man like such?


i dont know how you came about this "everyday in the strip joint" scenario, i guess you are dreaming about a guy who dont even have a damn job too, lol! so he goes to the strip clubs everyday of the week till 7am, sleep till early afternoon, and what next? he is a drug dealer perhaps?!

how is this example different from the guy the op described? it seems you dunno there are loafers on state benefits with no jobs who cultivate this ugly habit of being irresponsible. come to liverpool - i will show you a town where 80% of the men(most of them fathers) there don't do any job at all. they are the first set of people you see in the pub as early as 11am and they drink till late n head off to whorehouses in the night.


so let's come back down to the real world and talk about someone who goes to clubs/parties/strip joint once or twice a week, goes home, sleep, and goes to work in the morning (like most people do). is that "moderation" for you? does that person get the father figure stamp?! or only the one who NEVER party at night do?

his hobby is irresponsible! men with children at home should not be visiting whorehouses. i can understand one-off events like a colleagues' birthday, promotion parties, etc. however, to make strip-clubs one's favourite spot is not only irresponsible, it is also immoral and reckless. as a father, i'm supposed to be of best behaviour so my child can pick those attributes from me in his formative years. if my way of life is getting stoned in LovePeddler-houses every weekend - who am i to complain if my child turns out to be a frivolous twit?
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by Nobody: 4:42am On Dec 12, 2011
bro, the problem here is that you are changing "your views" as you go along, now you are saying that going out all night, once in a week is "acceptable":

moderation is the key. once a week isn't so bad.
once a week - the weekend - kid does not have to wake up early for school - it's a tad acceptable but i'd rather a father does not even visit these places. it's not edifying.

but this is what you had to say before:

raising a child is 24/7. let him know you are there when he needs you. anything short of that is bad parenting.
bad parenting is the reason kids become unruly or join whatever cults. if they don't see him as a father at home, they would look for that father figure(capones) on the outside. . . . .this is logic!

sleepless nights can get you hung over. that is my point.
this is why fathers must stay at home and be ready to prepare for their kids early. alcohol or no alcohol is immaterial.
staying wide awake when a father should be sleeping is the crux.

and this is what you even said BEFORE that:

responsible fathers stay at home.
they plan and strategize how to make the life of their love-child better. stay with him/play with him/go out together with him.
that is making your presence felt in his life. being a father figure - not hopping from one strip club to another like a male just hitting puberty.


so pls, make up your mind about what your BELIEFS are and then let's discuss it but i cannot have a discussion with you if you keep changing your stance like a chameleon, lol!


and btw:

and that hobby is visiting strip-clubs? "daddy, what are your hobbies?"
"son, i am a regular @ downing's strip club".is that the way you want to raise your own child?

"son, daddy is doing ADULT stuff, when you are much older, i will tell you about it".
what kind of irresponsible father talks about strip clubs to a child. what next? you tell him how you fukc your gfs at night?! come on bro, treat a child LIKE A CHILD!

when you have your children. you can take them to the strip club if you wish.
like i have told you - there are more activities parents can partake in - it does not have to be in strip-clubs. any man with a kid who frequents strip-clubs on a regular basis is irresponsible. if you know any father like that - tell him i said so. quote me and i will say it to his face.

you DO know that you have to be an ADULT to go to a strip club? just like you have to be an adult to watch a p[b]o[/b]rn movie or even watch horror movies, right? why would you think a FATHER would take his kid to a place where it is ILLEGAL to have a child?! pls, do make some sense bro!

when that child is an ADULT, and he wants to go to a strip club, then I (as a father) will be glad to be the first one he asks about such establishment. . . . . . . .  and probably take him there myself, rather than he goes with his dumb buddies who will have him do some stoopid stuff there.

bleep knows where the father is - prolly drunk and sleeping in his own porch after having so much to drink in whorehouses.
it's just irresponsibility. you can paint it as you wish. hobbies, activities, whatever whatever. a man with a child should not be seen in such places.

duh, the father is in his bed, sleeping off the great night he had. as i said:
any man should decide what he wants to do in his free time and/or at night.
TO EACH THEIR OWN!

it depends.
the act itself was irresponsible. some men learn from their past mistakes and they straighten up.
some men don't learn and they still continue to spray their seeds everywhere they can find a soil to germinate them. several babies everywhere in the neighbourhood. babymommas chasing them for child support and it just becomes messy. how's that responsible? would you give your sister out to a man like such?

and how exactly did you deduct which of these cases is the OP's bf?

if i get married 3 times and divorce twice, have 10kids (that i can fully care for) i will be irresponsible in your world right? because the marriage didnt last, i will be irresponsible, even if we had many years of happiness, right?!

btw: isnt a strip club the BEST place to NOT fall into "these women's" hand when hor.ny?

how is this example different from the guy the op described? it seems you dunno there are loafers on state benefits with no jobs who cultivate this ugly habit of being irresponsible. come to liverpool - i will show you a town where 80% of the men(most of them fathers) there don't do any job at all. they are the first set of people you see in the pub as early as 11am and they drink till late n head off to whorehouses in the night.

so what you are "assuming", again, is that: anyone seen at the pub after 11pm is unemployed?! just like you assumed that the OP's bf was a "loafer" simply because he enjoys going to clubs/strip clubs, right?
have you even asked the OP if SHE bought the tickets for her bf to come to NY/LA etc to visit her? i guess since every time she calls him he is in a club, he MUST BE a loafer, right?! (whether she calls everyday or once a week)

his hobby is irresponsible! men with children at home should not be visiting whorehouses. i can understand one-off events like a colleagues' birthday, promotion parties, etc. however, to make strip-clubs one's favourite spot is not only irresponsible, it is also immoral and reckless. as a father, i'm supposed to be of best behaviour so my child can pick those attributes from me in his formative years. if my way of life is getting stoned in LovePeddler-houses every weekend - who am i to complain if my child turns out to be a frivolous twit?

so when a child is asleep, in his DREAMS he picks up such attributes? bwaaah!, what else does he pick up in his dreams? i guess he also sees daddy in his "dreams" having s[b]e[/b]x with his "mother"? and starts having s[b]e[/b]x as a child, right? lol

who are you to decide what is immoral or not?! if that man wants/decides to go to a strip club to relax then LET HIM DO THAT, and if his son wants to do that (when he is old enough) then who are you to say that it is wrong? are they doing anything illegal/criminal?! stop trying to force people to live YOUR life.
if your way of life is to stay home and watch TV  at night then fair enough, let others CHOOSE how best to spend THEIR free time, and how to raise THEIR CHILDREN!

now, he is getting stoned, lol assumptions again! first he drank like a sailor till 7am EVERY night, then fukced who.res, then he is unemployed, now getting stoned. . . . . . .what's next in your fantasy tale?!
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by obowunmi(m): 7:31am On Dec 12, 2011
@ OP: are you fat? You better move on with your life.
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by coogar: 2:16pm On Dec 12, 2011
MRbrownJAY:

bro, the problem here is that you are changing "your views" as you go along, now you are saying that going out all night, once in a week is "acceptable":

but this is what you had to say before:

and this is what you even said BEFORE that:

so pls, make up your mind about what your BELIEFS are and then let's discuss it but i cannot have a discussion with you if you keep changing your stance like a chameleon, lol!

you are the one choosing not to apply logic here. the premise of my argument is for fathers to stay at home and get their kids prepared for school the next day. if this father goes out once a week(saturday), his son is not going to school on sunday - so yes, he can but i'd rather he does not.
all my comments have been consistent unless you are half-blind.


"son, daddy is doing ADULT stuff, when you are much older, i will tell you about it".
what kind of irresponsible father talks about strip clubs to a child. what next? you tell him how you fukc your gfs at night?! come on bro, treat a child LIKE A CHILD!

adult stuff my white arse - what kind of a father tells his son such rubbish.
he would soon learn what his father does every weekend from a careless comment from one of his mates in school who learnt about it from his own parents. i mean, what sort of a role model are you to your son if visiting whorehouses is your hobby.


you DO know that you have to be an ADULT to go to a strip club? just like you have to be an adult to watch a p[b]o[/b]rn movie or even watch horror movies, right? why would you think a FATHER would take his kid to a place where it is ILLEGAL to have a child?! pls, do make some sense bro!

of course, i never knew a child has to be 18+ to get into a strip club. i don't even know some movies are rated(pg or 18). what do i know?
we are talking about irresponsible fathers, he's talking about pg-rated movies. stop wasting my time with your needless pedantry.
if you don't have anything to say - abeg, pack it up!


when that child is an ADULT, and he wants to go to a strip club, then I (as a father) will be glad to be the first one he asks about such establishment. . . . . . . .  and probably take him there myself, rather than he goes with his dumb buddies who will have him do some stoopid stuff there.

when that child is an adult, he's now responsible for his own actions. he's now his own man.
he probably now stays alone and feeds himself. whatever happens there on are mostly his choices, etc. he's gone past his formative years where everything he passes through can affect his mentality/psyche as an adult. he won't need you to take him to strip-clubs by then.


duh, the father is in his bed, sleeping off the great night he had. as i said:
any man should decide what he wants to do in his free time and/or at night.
TO EACH THEIR OWN!

whoever said irresponsible fathers don't have a right to do whatever they want to do.
of course, he's got the rights to choose how he spends his time - but that doesn't make him responsible.


and how exactly did you deduct which of these cases is the OP's bf?

if i get married 3 times and divorce twice, have 10kids (that i can fully care for) i will be irresponsible in your world right? because the marriage didnt last, i will be irresponsible, even if we had many years of happiness, right?!

if you divorce once, you are irresponsible! if you cannot manage a home then what the feck can you manage as a man?
it simply tells me you are not a leader of men, you make bad choices and pssssssssf - whatever whatever.


btw: isnt a strip club the BEST place to NOT fall into "these women's" hand when hor.ny?

of course, strip-clubs is where morality is taught. you would find nuns, reverend sisters, etc there teaching morality. grin
you're a joke!


so what you are "assuming", again, is that: anyone seen at the pub after 11pm is unemployed?! just like you assumed that the OP's bf was a "loafer" simply because he enjoys going to clubs/strip clubs, right?
have you even asked the OP if SHE bought the tickets for her bf to come to NY/LA etc to visit her? i guess since every time she calls him he is in a club, he MUST BE a loafer, right?! (whether she calls everyday or once a week)

read with your glasses. 11am is quite different from 11pm.
the dude is a loafer - a poor excuse of a gentleman. whenever i see young men with baby-momma drama, it tells me one thing about them - irresponsible!


so when a child is asleep, in his DREAMS he picks up such attributes? bwaaah!, what else does he pick up in his dreams? i guess he also sees daddy in his "dreams" having s[b]e[/b]x with his "mother"? and starts having s[b]e[/b]x as a child, right? lol

kids wake up at nights sometimes from nightmares, needing their dads to take them to the loo, etc.
a child wakes up needing his dad to escort him to the loo and where's the dad? pissing his life away in LovePeddler-houses. the same venue mrbrownjay believes is a morality ground.

permit me - if i may. . . . . . .can a stripper stand as a witness in a law court? grin


who are you to decide what is immoral or not?! if that man wants/decides to go to a strip club to relax then LET HIM DO THAT, and if his son wants to do that (when he is old enough) then who are you to say that it is wrong? are they doing anything illegal/criminal?! stop trying to force people to live YOUR life.

because i can discern what is ethical from what isn't. that one is not doing anything illegal/criminal does not mean it's ethical.
if you cannot see the difference between ethics and crime then you are not worthy to be in a debate with me.

i ask. . . . .can a stripper stand as a witness in a court of law? of course, the judge would throw her out.
why would she be thrown out of court as a witness? after all - according to mrbrownjay, she's not doing anything illegal.



if your way of life is to stay home and watch TV  at night then fair enough, let others CHOOSE how best to spend THEIR free time, and how to raise THEIR CHILDREN!

if his way of life is working out pretty well, the original poster wouldn't have come here to complain.
you didn't figure that out in your little world, huh?


now, he is getting stoned, lol assumptions again! first he drank like a sailor till 7am EVERY night, then fukced who.res, then he is unemployed, now getting stoned. . . . . . .what's next in your fantasy tale?!

that dude is irresponsible. i don't even need to meet him to know.
i can visualize the drunk bastard as a lumbering oaf with no future ambition but to spray his seeds to any welcoming fertile soil and populate the planet with rugrats who would be raised with no father-figure in their lives and then turn out to be menace to society. the kids then get locked up and they remind everyone who cares to listen that they became criminals because poppa was never around.

we shall continue to witness the vicious cycle because mrbrownjay wants people to choose the way they want to live their lives - homosexuality, bestiality, p[i]e[/i]dophilia and other sorta sexual deviance should also be encouraged. people should be allowed to do what pleases them.
if you argue like this in public, you would be beaten up or set on fire. . . . . .or both!
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by Jboogi: 1:17pm On Jan 15, 2012
Guys, i know everyone is entitled to their opinion and i know everyone is responding based on what the OP has complained about. Granted the guy in question isn't a saint, but the way the likes of coogar and co persecuted someone they have never met before on a mere fact he doesn't fit your perception of a perfect life style is unpleasant. Like  MRbrownJAY said he doesn't have to live his life the way you live your life and no one is in a position to judge him. Now coogar i understand your resentment towards the OP's boyfriend because you feel the defendant is a loafer in your opinion and the OP complained about him. But let me break a shocking news to those participating in this thread.
1) The creator of this thread, the so called OP is a HE not a SHE and it isn't the girlfriend (plaintiff) to defendant (the boyfriend). The actual creator of this thread is in fact the Ex-Best friend to the defendant who apparently was suppose to be playing the peace maker between his Best friend (defendant) and his girlfriend (plaintiff) during their time of disagreement. This thread was written without the plaintiffs consent (she found out about this after he had written and posted it).
2) 95% of the stories and complaints are falsely written by the OP. Not saying that all are lies but 95% of them were fabricated by the OP who happens to be like best friends with the defendant. He did it because he knew everyone loved a damsel in distress
3) The defendant introduced his best friend (OP) whom he has known for 10+ years to his girl and her family at the beginning of their relationship, and he became the go to guy for advice between the plaintiff and the defendant. Now instead of playing the mediator role, he slanders his best friends image to his girlfriend and her family and also to you guys.
4) Like every long distance relationship, and relationships in general they had their disagreements mostly due to personality conflict (likes and dislikes). All these would have been settled if they had actually relied on communicating with each other directly as opposed to having a 3rd party involved. But the involvement of a 3rd party was in good faith and they trusted the OP to mend things between them. Out of jealousy and selfishness the OP fed both the defendant and plaintiff bogus stories and made each of them promise him not to reveal what was being discussed behind closed doors amongst themselves. In turn that fueled more fire in their disagreement between both parties and the OP saw this as an opportunity to prey on his friends girlfriends vulnerability. He constantly made passes at her and even planned a vacation to London to visit his friends girlfriend without his knowledge or consent, which she turned down. He even proposed romantic getaways for both of them, which she turned down as well.
5) In an attempt to make her dump his friend so he could swing into action because he was getting tired of seeing them work things out, he cooks up this thread on naira land in order to persuade her to leave him, based on advice  and opinions from contributors like coogar and co. Here is an excerpt from the mail which he sent her after he made up this thread:

"After u read, I hope u don't get unhappy! Let it be for your eyes only,  I am only going an extra mile to make sure I am not just talking, I want u to be     happy, after here, I really have nothing to say except u tell me something, *sad face* go to www.nairaland.com and click romance, then find the topic "should I stay or walk away" it's by gidisbug. And read. Let me know what u think." Also I posted a short detail about everything on nairaland and got different comments, i just posted one for you to see what d person wrote,you can read and pick what u want, I will send u more if u have d time to read cos they are plenty, *smiles*
enjoy your advise,

Now what kind of friend does that to another friend?? I know you all are wondering how i know all this. Well the guy in question is my cousin (defendant) and this situation blew out of proportion because when he found out about the secret texts, chats, mails and this nairaland forum, he lost it, When my cousin confronted him about the mails and text, he tried to deny it, claiming the girl (plaintiff) came onto him, knowing fully well my cousin had all the evidence in front of him. Also my cousin didn't expect that from his best friend, someone who was suppose to hold him down not stab him from behind. I am not on here to defend my cousin, he isn't a saint and neither are we, but all i can say is ever since my cousin started dating the plaintiff, i have noticed a great deal of transformation in him.

I actually took this upon myself to clear the air due to the slander that was being bestowed on him by the likes of coogar and co. All i want to say is no one is in any position to call anyone names or judge anyone because their lifestyle contradicts yours or your belief. This issue severed ties between my cousin and his friend, and he should thank God that my cousin didn't make it to Nigeria this Xmas, because somebody was bound to end up in jail or hospital. For some reason i thought such acts were only perpetrated by women, didn't know men engaged in such.

So "gidisbug" i know you will eventually read this, this is "JBOOGI", if you have a problem with me exposing your backstabbing ass after painting a scandalous image of my cousin, you know where to find me. Thank you guys, Bless!
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by coogar: 3:59pm On Jan 15, 2012
Jboogi:

Guys, i know everyone is entitled to their opinion and i know everyone is responding based on what the OP has complained about. Granted the guy in question isn't a saint, but the way the likes of coogar and co persecuted someone they have never met before on a mere fact he doesn't fit your perception of a perfect life style is unpleasant. Like  MRbrownJAY said he doesn't have to live his life the way you live your life and no one is in a position to judge him. Now coogar i understand your resentment towards the OP's boyfriend because you feel the defendant is a loafer in your opinion and the OP complained about him. But let me break a shocking news to those participating in this thread.
1) The creator of this thread, the so called OP is a HE not a SHE and it isn't the girlfriend (plaintiff) to defendant (the boyfriend). The actual creator of this thread is in fact the Ex-Best friend to the defendant who apparently was suppose to be playing the peace maker between his Best friend (defendant) and his girlfriend (plaintiff) during their time of disagreement. This thread was written without the plaintiffs consent (she found out about this after he had written and posted it).
2) 95% of the stories and complaints are falsely written by the OP. Not saying that all are lies but 95% of them were fabricated by the OP who happens to be like best friends with the defendant. He did it because he knew everyone loved a damsel in distress
3) The defendant introduced his best friend (OP) whom he has known for 10+ years to his girl and her family at the beginning of their relationship, and he became the go to guy for advice between the plaintiff and the defendant. Now instead of playing the mediator role, he slanders his best friends image to his girlfriend and her family and also to you guys.

i responded based on what the original poster wrote on the first page.
whether the op is a male/female is completely irrelevant to me. if you have the true information about the couple that you want us to know about, kindly put up your topic and i shall respond based on what you write.
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by Jboogi: 4:07pm On Jan 15, 2012
Coogar what sort of information are you looking for again, i have stated on here the actual truth behind the thread, what other information about the couple are you looking for again?
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by coogar: 4:14pm On Jan 15, 2012
Jboogi:

Coogar what sort of information are you looking for again, i have stated on here the actual truth behind the thread, what other information about the couple are you looking for again?

i couldn't wade through the debris you called a post.
next time, use a paragraph. . . .space out your words to make them readable.
to be perfectly honest, i don't really need to know what transpired. . . . .i got into a sumptuous debate with mrbrownjay about what makes a father responsible.
as you can see, the thread has left the your friends alone and has derailed into something more worthy of a debate.
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by Jboogi: 4:27pm On Jan 15, 2012
coogar, debris or not, atleast you read it. Thats the most important thing now. Thank you
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by coogar: 4:29pm On Jan 15, 2012
Jboogi:

coogar, debris or not, atleast you read it. Thats the most important thing now. Thank you

you guessed wrong, i didn't! grin
how are we even sure you are not the boyfriend with a child that loves partying.
you claim to be the defendant's cousin - should i just take that as the gospel truth?
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by Jboogi: 4:43pm On Jan 15, 2012
My brother/sister whether you question my identity or not, it doesn't matter. my aim was to provide the readers with a different perspective on the issue. Now if you like read it, if you dont no big deal.
Re: Should I Stay Or Walk Away? by MOWUMI12: 10:42am On Feb 26, 2015
My dear stay 100m away from him. He wil not change, he wil hurt u more if u give him d chance.

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