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Stats: 1238099 members, 1649942 topics. Date: Wednesday, 23 April 2014 at 01:28 PM
|Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Nobody: 3:49pm On Dec 23, 2011|
Something crazy and unfortunate happened to me recently. My neighbors son whom I have known since he was a kid is now a teenager. My husband and I re really fond of him and we give him free access to our house, my husband takes him extra lessons during his free time weekends.
Anyway some days ago I came home early and was preparing food, my maid is busy with her wedding preparations so it was just me and my son who was watching tv in d sitting room. Anyway, he came and helped me in d kitchen as he normally does, bare in mind dat am pregnant, as I turned and bent over to check something in d oven, I was completely distracted talking to him and at the same time working, only to turn around and see d boy directly behind me with his zipper slightly unzipped, touching himself. I was shocked to say the least, I sent him home but I have been restless and uncomfortable, I thought of telling his parents but I know they will just beat him without addressing what the issue is, if I tell my husband he will slaughter him to tiny pieces, its over 2 days, everyone is wondering why he hasn't come over, I am lost as what to do. I know he is at an age where his hormones re begining to develop and I thought of talking with him, but I feel its not my place and may be inappropirate, I would have told his folks but they re d kind who believe such behavior is influenced by satan and will beat him and take him for deliverance. I am confused because keeping quiet and doing nothing will mean I tolerate such behavior, talking to him about it may bne wrongly interpreted, I don't want to get him in trouble and at d same time o don't want him to keep up this attitude, he may get introduced to sex by one of these househelps and may catch something at such an early age without being informed of his sexuality
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Afam4eva(m): 4:18pm On Dec 23, 2011|
Take him to a shrink. This behaviour is not uncommon with teenagers.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by ronkebp(f): 4:34pm On Dec 23, 2011|
Am sorry but i had to laugh , it is a serious matter ooooo, but what will you do? i would suggest you just let it pass, since this is his first time, and he should understand from the way you sent him out of the house that you will never tolerate that nonsense, hence he has not been back since then, Now if there is a second one, which i pray not, but if there is, then i think you should involve your hubby and his parents.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Afam4eva(m): 4:44pm On Dec 23, 2011|
I don't agree that she should let it pass. Even though involving her hubby and the boy's parents is a no no. She should talk to him at least and hope it doesn't happen again. If it does then she can take other measures.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by ronkebp(f): 4:56pm On Dec 23, 2011|
^^^^^ I would prefer she talked to him too, but i think she is avoiding having a conversation with him privately, you know, she does not want unnecessary insinuations in the air.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Afam4eva(m): 4:57pm On Dec 23, 2011|
That's why i suggested she took him to see a shrink.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Nobody: 5:54pm On Dec 23, 2011|
I'll tell my husband. Let my husband talk to him man to man. My husband is in a better position to relate to him.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Afam4eva(m): 5:56pm On Dec 23, 2011|
You mean your husband will descend on him man to man. No man takes the intimate harassment of his woman lightly.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by r231: 6:01pm On Dec 23, 2011|
But since he liked the boy, he can just have a word with home and maybe warn him not to do that again
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Nobody: 6:15pm On Dec 23, 2011|
This is a teenager, not some freaking sugar daddy. I hope the husband understands because he was once one. That boy needs a strong male influence in his life now. As I heard, the hormones are riotous at that stage, some are just more [i]exhibitionist [/i]than others, lol.
But I will not keep quiet over a manliness touching pervert. To the husband straighttttttttt, I say!!!
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Nobody: 6:55pm On Dec 23, 2011|
Thanks, Afam, he is not a relative or my son how do I explain taking another persons child to see a shrink. Ronke, keeping quiet may expose him to more danger, who knows who he will go and do dat to next? Stillwater, I know my husband he will forget he is a boy and chop him to little pieces, I will tell him when d boy is safely away.I just remembered there is one a cousin who is older and more liberal. I will call him and ask him to speak with the boy
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Nobody: 7:09pm On Dec 23, 2011|
Ok, have a guy talk to him.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by ronkebp(f): 7:27pm On Dec 23, 2011|
Telling his cousin makes sense.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Genius100: 9:19pm On Dec 23, 2011|
Tell your husband but minimize the details. You can say, for instance, you noticed him staring at your yansh with a look of lust,
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by lepasharon(f): 3:08am On Dec 24, 2011|
how old is d boy? You mean you caught him with his zipper down nd his right out??
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Nobody: 5:37am On Dec 24, 2011|
Lepa he just turned 13. The kid n his family re traveling today I will tell my husband later but I ve called his cousin to see me before they travel so that he can talk to his nephew during d holiday
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by mutter(f): 9:44am On Dec 24, 2011|
He just turned 13!! That explains it. It is perfectly normal and no need for you to mention it to your husband or his parents.
That would only cause unnecessary embarrassment. The feelings he has are normal at that age and he needs to learn how to control himself in public. All you needed to have told his was that at his age it was improper to open his trouser in public. I sometimes do not understand why people make so much fuss about kids when it comes to puberty. They need to be carefully guided with love and understanding. This attitude of condemning and castigating is the wrong approach. I have very open talks with my kids as regards sex. The level depends on their age and level of understanding. Only yesterday we were watching a movie and I saw my 11 year old with his hands in his pants, "do you mind doing that when you are alone?" That was all I had to say and I think that was sufficient. I mean my boys do ask questions like why they have a hard on and what to do and if self-service is wrong and if it is wrong to watch blue films. I try to send the message across that sex is a wonderful experience if done at the right age and with the right partner. When the conditions are not okay it is disgusting and can leave scars. I also explain to them it is an expression of love and must be respected and naturally about the risks. I think kids deserve to know that self-service is not evil but something that needs to be done with discretion.
So now shoot me!!!
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by jennykadry(f): 10:37am On Dec 24, 2011|
Debrief, talk to your husband about it. Keeping it away from him really isn't the best thing to do in my opinion.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by chaircover: 11:40am On Dec 24, 2011|
No its not normal for a 13 year old to be publicly maastuurbating over a pregnant woman that he knows very well who is more like an aunty to him.
He needs to understand that it is wrong . . . .,and Yes it is wrong
I would tell my husband for the simple reason that I dont hide anything from him, certainly not things that have upset me that much which in this case has clearly upset you.
I should imagine that the outcome of a husbands reaction will depend on how dramatically it is put across to him. If you say something like sweetheart, can you find time to mentor this kid because he needs a man around him to teach him how to be a man and you seem to be the best one to be able to do this? The husband will ask why and one will just casually say, dont mind him he did bla bla bla. This way the boy gets the help that he needs before he does it on a bus and he is lynched.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Nobody: 12:11pm On Dec 24, 2011|
Thank you CC, great advice, Mutter I disagree that its ok for a boy to publicly self-service behind a pregnant woman or any woman. His parents could have handled things better. His cousin came and I told my husband what happened, and also appealed to him to take d boy as his son and talk to him not threaten or harm him. My husband along with the boys cousin spoke to him this morning and answered all his questions, they also advised him on what to do when he feels like dat. His cousin was happy that I didn't inform his parents for d same reason I gave.
I believe every parent should have d talk with their kids at 11 so kids can know wat to expect. So many kids re abused sexually at an early age because they don't understand d body changes and hormones. This experience has been eye opening. Seeing that na boys God dey give me I have work ahead
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Afam4eva(m): 12:48pm On Dec 24, 2011|
It's good to know that he has been talked to.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by mutter(f): 1:54pm On Dec 24, 2011|
debrief, It certainly is not okay but I was just trying to get across that most times we tend to over react about such things. The boy just followed a natural instinct that had not yet been steered by parental advice.
I guess CC was right about telling your husband since it disturbed you so much and you were unable to handle the situation in such a manner as to have set you mind at ease and also at the same time educate the boy on where he went wrong. In this case it was the best case to let others handle it. I guess I should have put into consideration that you might be embarrassed or inexperienced about such situations. Anyway I am just so glad that the message was put across to him in a humane way.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Nobody: 3:13pm On Dec 24, 2011|
It was more shocking than it was embarrassing this was a boy I watched grow. Anyway I am happy he didn't do it to someone who may ve abused him sexually
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by mutter(f): 3:19pm On Dec 24, 2011|
Yes thank God it was you and that the situation was handled, as you suggested it might have ended up differently with someone taking advantage of the situation and trying to convince themselves that the boy wanted it. We have to be very careful with kids. It is obvious that the parents have committed some sins of omission where this boy is concerned. The problem with being too hard on kids is that the tend to hide things from you. I try to give my kids the confidence to confide in me but it is hard sometimes to swallow what they say and not let the conservative part spring out like a viper and attack them.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by maclatunji: 6:26pm On Dec 24, 2011|
The topic of this thread is misleading. It is not the hormones that made the boy do what he did but exposure to some negative content. It is normal for a young boy entering puberty to have crushes on attractive women he has access to, most times it is with neighbouring females. His unfolding his zipper and self-servicing is most probably due to explicit materials he must have been exposed to like novels, magazines and of course movies. He needs to be taught control, but he is hearing PAKURUMO all over his radio and other lewd songs- control becomes difficult because most of society is telling him to 'lose control' and 'just do it'.
Women too are mostly hypocritical when they place themselves in seductive positions and say men should not be attracted. The OP is probably very pretty and she was bending over in front of the boy. What kind-of thing is that? she should be more conscious and perceptive (I know you weren't trying anything but never forget- you are a woman).
Give males who are not your immediate family their gap and never forget that you are an object of attraction whether or not you want to admit it.
I hope you ladies see why men don't like their women scantily clad or unclad even in their own rooms.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Nobody: 7:59pm On Dec 24, 2011|
Haba Mac, this is is a boy I have known since he was a boy, I was baking, how else was I supposed to open d oven? Plus am even pregnant. Am sure u will blame me even if armed robbers came to my house and Molested u will blame me for going to bed in my night gown. How do u blame me for cooking in my own kitchen? I agree dat there re so many intimate seggestive images everywhere but when u address the issue of sex with ur kids before they learn from tv or friends den they will know how to act. This kid was obviously ill prepared for puberty, my husband told me dat the boy had asked his dad somethings about his feelings and his dad had told him to bind d devil dat feelings like dat re from satan. Hopefully he will be more equiped to handle such occurences. I refuse to accept any blame for what was not in anyway my fault
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by maclatunji: 9:27pm On Dec 24, 2011|
^I am not blaming you, but we both know that you are no longer looking at him as that innocent little boy after the event. I am saying you should have stopped seeing him as that innocent little boy from age 10! I am not saying that all 10-year old boys go about thinking about sex but you need to stop seeing them as just little boys from that age especially in this our society.
Yeah you were baking but you should have kept him in the sitting room- you are not his mother so you are being naïve if you think you cannot give him a Situation even if you are about to drop the baby.
By the way, I wish you a safe delivery- you will find the baby by your side as our people say.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Nobody: 9:50pm On Dec 24, 2011|
Thanks for ur prayers Mac but u blamed me, and even accused me of seducing him. If we would only face reality and train our kids well before they learn wrong things from TV and magazines den we wouldn't have to treat boys like criminals because they re facing puberty. This kid comes in freely to my house and helps out, my husband takes him extra lessons, I take him out sometimes when am taking my pple out. I may not be his mother or any other childs mother but I will not start treating every boy like a criminal because Nigerian Parents are too "holy" to address sexuality with their kids. I was more worried for d boy because it could ve been anyone else no matter what d woman wears as long as its a woman or a girl. Please free urself of dat mindset, puberty is not a crime but a phase and it needs to be properly managed not frowned at.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by tpia@: 9:56pm On Dec 24, 2011|
a lot of these kids have unrestricted access to p.orn through the various social media these days- especially tv and the internet.
just try to be aware of this and interact with him in a way that leaves no room for ambiguity.
if he has reached the stage where he's openly waanking then that's not good and he probably needs professional help.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by jennykadry(f): 10:22pm On Dec 24, 2011|
Maclatunji, you are not making any sense. Unbelievable. She should have left him in the sitting room like she knew he was going to waaaank. How intelligent of you to post that crap
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by freecocoa(f): 11:16pm On Dec 24, 2011|
Too much exposure to p*orn*ography is part of that boy's problem,OP I suggest you tell your hubby, in as much as he'll be crossed with the kid,I believe he should be able to handle it like a mature man especially since he likes the boy and you need to be mindful of the kind of chores you do with him or how close he gets.
|Re: Teenage Boys And Hormones. by Outstrip(f): 11:59pm On Dec 24, 2011|
Debrief it is your fault for showing you sexy pregnant belly
On a serious note why don't you talk to this kid. Maybe sit with your husband and tell him but get him to calm down enough to were you both can talk to him since he respects you both. This is very serious. Maybe he has been exposed to sex from another older female. I will suggest that he is not given free access to the house and not to be left alone with you. Maybe you guys can ask straight forward questions like where he learned the behavior from and if anybody has touched him. Don't tell his parents for now. These kids get exposed to Indecency and nobody ever sits doen with them and educate about sex. He saw it in a movie and it turned him on. The only other female he is constantly around with is Aunty Debrief so he put two and two together and ended up with seven
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