Mac I will not cast myself in stone because Men Get turned on, and I refuse to take any balme or guilt for that. Am a pretty woman and never inappropirate. The boy acted wrongly because he didn't know better. So that sermon is not for me. Till am 80 men will still get turned on, not my fault, na God and I will never be ashamed of being an attractive woman, but I will never act or tolerate inappropirate behavior from anyone.
I will say it again, I am happy d boy didn't do this to some sick lady who will take advantage of him and molest him because even as much as the boy started it, he is too young to know what he is doing or take responsibilty for it. My husband and his cousin handled it well, dats all I have to say. if my 13 year old female neighbor comes and makes intimate suggestions at my husband will I say its because he dresses to sexy or whatever? No, they re at an age where if sex is not well explained to them may be der downfall. That is d simple truth. Even if I were dressed in a sack cloth, it could have been any other person. Am sure if they had a househelp he would ve tried to sleep with her and may have even done so. Addressing the boys sexuality is d answer not ignoring it and keeping him locked up from all women or girls. He coukd ve been led to sleep with a LovePeddler by his friends as I hear a lot of boys re.

You wish!

Two things
1. The boy is raving mad. Haba. We all passed the age of puberty. The first time I learnt about self service was wen I was 17. I remeber, a soft sell Magazine, Heart, explained it vividly. So how the boy tey know. Self servicing in public in Africa? Abeg,make una go check him brain.

2. OP might have misinterpreted his actions. If his brain was correct, OP probably called a dog a bad name! Am not sure the boy said anything when OP adviser spoke to him. Reflex allows man to touch your shaft. I sometimes hold mine while am asleep. Infact, I do packaged it in my hand when am alone with boxer. A stranger can walk into my room and think am Hot and doing the abominable. Far from it! The child doesnt even know what he is been scolded for. He probably doesnt know what is marturbation. I just believed maybe touching his shaft innocently was a taboo! Abeg spare the innocent boy

@debrief08
Thanks for speaking to your hussy to speak with the child. You are a good woman, wishing you a safe delivery

op

if this is a true story and you live overseas, then be careful how you relate with the boy because for one, he's underage and should anything come up whether true or false, you will be held responsible for whatever transpired, whether good or bad.

In nigeria it would not be a big deal since the most that would happen is the boy gets either a butt whooping or a tongue lashing, but in the west, especially in some particular places, it might get much more serious than that.

also, mind what you post on a public forum.

He shouldn't have acted that way with you; that part was inappropriate. He shouldn't be beaten (wth!) over something like this, besides beating accomplishes nothing. Your husband would harm a young man for that I would speak to him privately about it, and let the matter drop. I would educate him on behaving responsibly when it comes to sex to avoid disease. He does need education on what is happening with his body, and how to behave responsibly. Otherwise it's just a normal response and certainly nothing to shaken up over.

Jenifa_:

13 is too young to be doing such a thing. i'm 101% sure the boy has been exposed to graphic stuff either through bad friends, indecency or who knows.
that behavior cannot be blamed on hormones abeg.
the boy has been influenced.

13 is the normal age where boys become aware; it's normal. Your statement is absolute nonsense. This is why sex education is important.

Okay, if l were Debrief08, l will not tell his parents nor tell my husband.
l will call the boy and another male (for added safety for my person as a pregnant female,   ; someone he does not know and who would not make him feel guilty or have that sense ofjavascript:void(0); shame) and together l will tell him in a frank but motherly tone that what he did back then in the kitchen  was inappropriate and wrong.
I will ask him how he thinks it will pan out if his friend (my husband) or his parents where to know what he was doing?
I will let him know that l am not telling anyone else because l know that it is his hormones, at this stage of his life that are raging.
I will even let him know some other "feelings" that might crop up (or have cropped up) and how he should deal with them!
I will bring him into my confidence and let him know that if he feels confused at any time, he can always come to me for help.
I will completely unnerve him and make him feel at ease in my presence.
Show him warmth and love, explain things to him in a way he can relate with.
Let him know it is inappropriate, but dont blame him for it, rather let him see why his "puberty stage of life" is responsible for it and why he MUST be strong and control his urges, as part of his transition from being a BOY, to becoming a responsible man.

He wont look me bum twice in the face, from that day!


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BTW: I remember when l was about his age, l had this crush on my class teacher She liked me sooo much that l fell in love(?) with her and used to dream about her. She will send me everywhere (including buying her food and taking groceries to her house), share food with me, buy me gifts and l was the only one in class who could open her handbag!
Occasionally, she canned me lightly 'cos l was the kind of naughty boy you can never be too sure of!
On reflection, she was just nice to me just because back then, l was a brilliant and very smart little kid.
With time, l got over her (liking her in a lusty way) and even as an adult, l still like her in a motherly way (she was in her twenties then and unmarried )
But me l did not go as far as this boy o, l simply kept my wacky feelings inside my head!
God forbid my mother knows what was going on in my head back then, I will surely go to heaven and comeback that day!
Dont even talk about my Dad, the thought alone will make me piss in my pants!
Was l not supposed to be the nice, lovely, well brought up christian kid that dazzled everyone? xcept l be some kin dare-devil kid

When l remember such things, l remind myself to always impress it on my own kids: To be open with me and be confident that no matter what happens or what they did, l will always be willing to listen to them, without getting angry or castigating them.

Oops, me bad!
Just realized the "Op" has resolved the issue.
Pls disregard and ignore my post!

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Boys eh. I don't know how their body system is wired. I can still remember the look on my face the first times I noticed my 3 years old twin boys and morning erections. I was so frantic then, called my mom, mil and God at same time. Lol I have come to realize that boys, like their female counterparts needs the sex talk etal too from their parents. @mbj you very funny you know. What possibly could be itching the boy at that place and at that time?rofl

ifyalways:

Boys eh. I don't know how their body system is wired. I can still remember the look on my face the first times I noticed my 3 years old twin boys and morning erections. I was so frantic then, called my mom, mil and God at same time. Lol I have come to realize that boys, like their female counterparts needs the sex talk etal too from their parents.

that one is natural na .

@mbj you very funny you know. What possibly could be itching the boy at that place and at that time?rofl

mayb the boy don already catch something from somewhere

^lol. I almost went crazy the first day. My husband was just having a laugh, saying its natural bla bla but I wasn't listening. I was like maybe their bathing water was too cold/warm/hot, their room and beddings needs air. Lol, thank heavens we didn't have a help COS I would have so accused him or her. I even thought my nities were too provocative. Now, I'm wiser and have come to know its natural.

Debrief, can you please clarify something. Was the boy masturbating or just touching his privates? I am asking because those are two different things. Were his privates out and being caressed sexually? Or was his zipper half-way down and he was grabbing his crotch? I think you may be overreacting. The boy probably just caught some agros and you caught him trying his adjust his thing so it won't show. Now, if he was giving you a full-blown masturbation show, then your husband should have beat the daylights out of him! I was a 13yr old boy once (and a very precocious one too) and 13yr old boys know that you don't masturbate in public! Never! Haba!

@Poster, what you described has little to do with raging hormones but a lack of control and probably signs of potentially worse behavior in the future. You may see him a teenager but realize that these are the best years to help correct the problems. Pampering him is likely the last thing needed. Rapi-sts and other perverts do not just bloom overnight. Please try to seek professional help for the boy before he becomes like the many ra-pists we have out there preying on our daughters.

And NO, this behavior of his is NOWHERE classified as NORMAL. It is one thing to be aroused but another to go as far as he did with you.

^^^^^I think the "professional counselling" is what she has done: getting two older and wiser peeps to talk to him in a way that he would understand that what he was doing was wrong and that he has to exercise self restraint on himself in future!
If you're referring to taking him to one of them shrink-heads, you'll probably make his case worse!

I may have done worse things as a 13yr old but l did not see a shrink neither did l turn out bad!

At times, we need to cut the kids some slack and just give them guidance, as parents!

the whole situation is strange so let's just assume the entire thing was a misunderstanding.

unless there's evidence to the contrary.

People off the street are NOT professional counselors and cannot provide just about anyone the professional help needed.  If parental nuturing gotten from his own parents were not enough to rid him of this neanderthal approach to handling his urges, what will picking just about any adult off the street do for him?

The boy needs professional help and @Poster, trying to keep it secret may backfire in the end if you do not proceed to have professionals handle this. At least to avoid this young man becoming yet another ra-pist on Nigerian streets.  If we really care about our young men and our daughters, we need to proactively seek better solutions.

I repeat, THIS IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR. We no longer live in the caves and walk around naked. This is a serious psychological issue that needs to be dealt with before it is too late.

I found this incidence very interesting cos i find my self in the best positon to put things better. first of all thank you debrief08 for seeking our counsel on the subject matter. I was in a similar situation as a teenager and wanted everything. my first relationship or sex and subsequent was with people older than me. i loved over aged women/girls to a fault. But you see, i didnt know i was heading for destruction. That led me into admiring married women and sugar mummy but God being gracious to me deliverd me from all that. It all started like this very teenager. I understand his fantasies, but if not nipped now, would land him in a trouble he might never come out and thereby utterly destroy his beautiful destiny. Now, action plan for you, with all sincerity, is to help him by letting your hussband know the whole scenario and am sure your husband trusts you much. you dont want him to scold him but HELP this future leader. It might sound absurd to many but if you keep it to yourself, it will be like somebody breeding a cobra and in future the cobra kills the person. I mean, a time will come in the future when you will want to have that sex or relationship with him cos obi must have been a man (take it or leave it). I have been in this situation before. its better you cut the cobra's head now or it comes back to ruin your marriage in future. If you dont see that boy as your son and furnish him with a parnetal advice, it might bounce back on you and family. Dont play with the devil. Let your husband know about it, it might save a future.thanx.

Na wa oh, just 3 days wey my husband say "no internet" na im this thread don go viral? Lol, anyway Thanks for all the concern and comments. As I posted earlier His cousin and my husband have spoken with him. he explained that most of his friends had bragged about doing the same thing and even sleeping with thier neighbors and househelps so he decided to try. I really wonder what kind of kids we re raising these days. I hope those friends re just lying about sleeping with neighbors and househelps.
Please parents we seriously need to remove our head from the sand, lets start talking with our children about s3x and s3xuality. In this age and time, these kids are growing up so so fast and learning a lot, when i was young we only had NTA and the video was controlled, no internet but its a whole different world now, if you dont teach your kids their friends and the media will teach them. I have been trying to imagine how a group of 13 year old boys will save up and pay to sleep with prostitutes.
A lot of what he told my husband shocked us all, and sadly the boy was unaware of any consequencies of his action, his main concern was pleasing his friends by having a story too. Hmmmm, now i understand why there seem to be so many cases of rape, teenage pregnancy and infections going round.
If I have learned anything from this it is that knowledge is power and dealing with teenagers is totally different from dealinng with a chiuld it requirews wisdom and tact, i dont have a brother and my nephews are not teenagers, my female nieces I can relate with and even handle because have been thru the same issues with them, raising a boy is a completely different issue, lots of patience, wisdom, understanding and discipline is requires.
For those of you castigating me and making unfortunate statements, na una sabi, I was married to an emotionally and physically abusive man, there is no name u will call me that i have not been called before so e no move me, What i know about these kind of pple who use every opportunity to insult and castigate is that there are pple with no self esteem and can only feel good when they hurt someone, the more you insult me the more pity i feel for you, sorry ehnn, may God heal all the bitterness in your hearts.

he explained that most of his friends had bragged about doing the same thing and even sleeping with thier neighbors and househelps so he decided to try. I really wonder what kind of kids we re raising these days. I hope those friends re just lying about sleeping with neighbors and househelps.

his main concern was pleasing his friends by having a story too

when i was young we only had NTA and the video was controlled, no internet but its a whole different world now, if you dont teach your kids their friends and the media will teach them. I have been trying to imagine how a group of 13 year old boys will save up and pay to sleep with LovePeddlers.

it is a different world. p-orn is just a mouseclick a way and guarded only by do not access this page if you are not 18

oyb:

and guarded only by do not access this page if you are not 18

How you take know this one? Explain yaself sarrrrrrrr

jennykadry:

How you take know this one? Explain yaself sarrrrrrrr

erm erm , na so my friend wey dey 'research' adult education tell me o. "can u imagine they say u must not enter if you are 18.'

me if i make mistake type Bleep my computer go crash one time

He must be kidding, anyway, you did the best thing as a woman and a mother, I'd also suggets that you should see him, talk to him and am sure he'd forever remain grateful for the rest of his life, though its a parental issue, but I suppose from the relationship, you can as well act unbehalf of his parents, see him and, if you feel comfortable with it, talk to him about sex education!