[i][/i][size=8pt][/size][color=#000099][/color]
[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]I am an African American who have been dating a guy from Benin Nigeria for a little over a year now. I have a son who is 20 years and he has small ones 4 & 5 yrs. Just 3 months into the relationship he said he was in LOVE with me  I'm no spring chicken so I'm waiting to see before I recipicate    He and his wife are divorced (so he say)  and he has the children along with his mom living with him. 

If we are both single adults parents, why am I not able to meet the family.  We both are Christians but attend church in seperate places. I've invited him to my church several times and it's always excuces. I've ask to come to his church and more excuses. I'm big on communication no matter what the topic is. Several times such as Father's day, he said he was just going to church and back home. Well, later in the week I went on facebook and found pictures of he and the family, the wife and children enjoying themselves as if they were a happy family. OOO, did i say I found the wify on facebook. They are not friends but she post pictures of the family and he post pictures of just he and the children.  Dont' get me wrong, I would have had no problem had he said they were going to spend some time with the children because of that day. There's no trust for the one who says first "i'm in love with you" 

I'm really ready to move on but yet I give him another chance,
Is this typical for Nigerian men, want to have their cake and eat it too? OR are they that proud to tell the family they are in love with a non-nigerian women?

Thanks for the ear

Sorry but I think you should move on, forget the other chances. Just my opinion though.

Before the madness starts here, lemme advice you quickly. You should find out about this dude and be completely sure he is for real. Nigerian men don't go on family outings with their ex-wife and be smiling(divorces here are craziy). Why won't he come to your church? Why wont he allow you come to his church? If possible try to meet his kids, try to find out about this ex-wife of his cos they might still be married. Sheck if he has pappers if he does not, be extracareful and don't give him money.
Nuff said

OP

Are you saying you met a Nigerian from Benin? Because Benin is not in Nigeria.

Zilja:

[i][/i][size=8pt][/size][color=#000099][/color]
[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]I am an African American who have been dating a guy from Benin Nigeria [/b]for a little over a year now. I have a son who is 20 years and he has small ones 4 & 5 yrs. Just 3 months into the relationship he said he was in [b]LOVE with me  I'm no spring chicken so I'm waiting to see before I recipicate    He and his wife are divorced (so he say)  and he has the children along with his mom living with him. 

If we are both single adults parents, why am I not able to meet the family.  We both are Christians but attend church in seperate places. I've invited him to my church several times and it's always excuces. I've ask to come to his church and more excuses. I'm big on communication no matter what the topic is. Several times such as Father's day, he said he was just going to church and back home. Well, later in the week I went on facebook and found pictures of he and the family, the wife and children enjoying themselves as if they were a happy family. OOO, did i say I found the wify on facebook. They are not friends but she post pictures of the family and he post pictures of just he and the children.  Dont' get me wrong, I would have had no problem had he said they were going to spend some time with the children because of that day. There's no trust for the one who says first "i'm in love with you" 

I'm really ready to move on but yet I give him another chance,
Is this typical for Nigerian men, want to have their cake and eat it too? OR are they that proud to tell the family they are in love with a non-nigerian women?

Thanks for the ear

You need to read this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=840406.msg9928141#msg9928141

I can bet my £1000 on it this guy is married. if a man is in love with you he will be the one encouraging you to meet his friends, Like on friday when i was going to a party with my husband he was all please dress to impress let all my friends know you are the beautiful not all this hide and seek relationship.

Op

I am going to tell you STRAIGHT, don't be a fool. You see all the signs and YET you want to give him another chance.

This is a Nigerian brother telling you what you already know, are you going to listen to him?

Mynd_44:

Before the madness starts here, lemme advice you quickly. You should find out about this dude and be completely sure he is for real. Nigerian men don't go on family outings with their ex-wife and be smiling(divorces here are craziy). Why won't he come to your church? Why wont he allow you come to his church? If possible try to meet his kids, try to find out about this ex-wife of his cos they might still be married. Sheck if he has pappers if he does not, be extracareful and don't give him money.
Nuff said

ebonyvibe:

You need to read this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=840406.msg9928141#msg9928141

I can bet my £1000 on it this guy is married. if a man is in love with you he will be the one encouraging you to meet his friends, Like on friday when i was going to a party with my husband he was all please dress to impress let all my friends know you are the beautiful not all this hide and seek relationship.

That's true Ebony, because if a man really love you, you will be a star to everyone in his life including his haters. Trust me I know.

Mrs C dearie,there's Benin in nigeria its the capital of Edo state.

OP does he have his papers complete yet?

After all the advice if you still wanna stick around, let the madness begin

freecocoa:

Mrs C dearie,there's Benin in nigeria its the capital of Edo state.

OP does he have his papers complete yet?

I have heard people say Benin city as reference to the capital in Edo state, so naturally I assumed she meant the country Benin. But it all good.

^
Yeah that's true,its rightly Benin city but cos she said he's nigerian,I knew its our own benin and down here in nigeria people rarely add the city to it.

My dear poster.the only advice i will give you is FLEE.i guess you understand what that means,

@OP, there is fire on the mountain

freecocoa:

^
Yeah that's true,its rightly Benin city but cos she said he's nigerian,I knew its our own benin and down here in nigeria people rarely add the city to it.

Gotcha.

I'm really ready to move on but yet I give him another chance,

what is this?

these desperate old hags need to get a life.
here she sees all the "green card" signs and she's still talking about "give him another chance." wth?

At this point I would love to say that should the OP gets MAGAed, she deserves it

tellwisdom:

Mshew chima, will u stop giving this poor gurl a wrong advise??

What advice you want me to give her?

Nigerian men don't go on family outings with their ex-wife and be smiling(divorces here are craziy).

It's true! he's been on several outings with his (ex-wify) I'm sure he don't have the money to divorce her here in the states so they live apart.

I've read all your responses and my mind was made up when i posted, I'm moving on. Like I said I'm not a spring chicken. I'm am actually 14 years his senior. I wasn't born yesterday. I've been in love before and know what to expect when love comes calling.

Somehow that's all I attract is Nigerian men. Some I give a chance and others I don't.

Thanks for the advice!!!!!

Good woman

^^^
Mind ya business

Zilja: [i][/i][size=8pt][/size][color=#000099][/color]
[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]I am an African American who have been dating a guy from Benin Nigeria for a little over a year now. I have a son who is 20 years and he has small ones 4 & 5 yrs. Just 3 months into the relationship he said he was in LOVE with me  I'm no spring chicken so I'm waiting to see before I recipicate    He and his wife are divorced (so he say)  and he has the children along with his mom living with him. 

If we are both single adults parents, why am I not able to meet the family.  We both are Christians but attend church in seperate places. I've invited him to my church several times and it's always excuces. I've ask to come to his church and more excuses. I'm big on communication no matter what the topic is. Several times such as Father's day, he said he was just going to church and back home. Well, later in the week I went on facebook and found pictures of he and the family, the wife and children enjoying themselves as if they were a happy family. OOO, did i say I found the wify on facebook. They are not friends but she post pictures of the family and he post pictures of just he and the children.  Dont' get me wrong, I would have had no problem had he said they were going to spend some time with the children because of that day. There's no trust for the one who says first "i'm in love with you" 

I'm really ready to move on but yet I give him another chance,
Is this typical for Nigerian men, want to have their cake and eat it too? OR are they that proud to tell the family they are in love with a non-nigerian women?

Thanks for the ear

Many of us christians settle because we like/love a guy but God first....ALWAYS! You should worship the person you love in church because the bible tells us not to despise the fellowship of saints...meaning you guys need to fellowship in groups. It's the foundation of who you are...if he say it's who he is two then after you guys have made that committment ( which shoudln't be too soon but not prolong either) that means you two are in argreement that you both want the relationship to end in marriage. I've never understood why people say I'm in a committed relationship yet they aren't "ready" for marriage, but that's just my own personal veiw. Wishing you the best.